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This month’s topic is such an epic one. I’m so excited to be sharing my thoughts on “being seen” with you. There are a lot of different layers to the phrase so I’m confident we’ll all experience a new level of clarity by the end of this read. Lets get into it!
I’m a huge fan of Iyanla Vanzant. Black and Brown people preaching & teaching Black/Brown unity just does it for me. I can honestly say that I have not been endorsed by her or anyone on her team so you know my level of reverence and respect goes rather far for her work. She’s an “American inspiraLonal speaker”, per Google and has provided much insight to her beliefs through the work she’s done on her innovaLve television show “Iyanla, Fix My Life”. What I appreciate most about her advice is that its honest. BRUTALLY honest. I also admire the fact that she clearly has her own set of ChrisLan beliefs but never pushes that on anyone. That truly speaks to credibility for me because I do not share in those beliefs but sLll have the same struggles that ChrisLans do. My life experience is just as important as a ChrisLan’s and so is anyone else’s. I’ve chosen to discuss with you an Essence arLcle that Iyanla featured in from August of 2019. Iyanla talks about her top life mantras and I believe I believe these are great Lps for us on breaking down and eventually achieving the art of being seen.
1. There is Nothing To Fear
Iyanla tells us to accept the very real fact that theres nothing to fear and she conLnues with “Just keep moving, breathing…” Perhaps the soundest advice we’ve heard all year. How many Lmes have you allowed fear to paralyze you? Stop you dead in your tracks and revert you back to an inexperienced child? I’m sure its been countless Lmes and realizing whatever you’re afraid of actually has no power over you is the absolute best thing you can do to help you on your endeavor to “being seen”. That’s called taking control of the narraLve and seeing yourself FIRST!
2. “Breathe”
Very simply put, right? Iyanla explains this thought a bit further by adding that people stop breathing when they get
Marshay
upset and this couldn’t be any more true to me. When I’m frustrated, the first thing that’s affected is my breathing. I hold tension in my chest and quite literally become “stuck” in a moment. By pracLcing controlled breathing, you’ll find your mind is much clearer and you’re more capable of responding to and showing up in a situaLon that may have altered your progress in the past. Now, not only can you process what’s happening in front of you but you are able to easily move on from it when the Lme comes. Breathing is so important that I had to make a personal connecLon with it while birthing my son. He was stuck in my birthing canal and was too far along for doctors to perform a cesarean secLon. One of my great friends at the Lme stepped in as a doula and coached my breathing which was the ONLY thing that saved my baby that day. This was my first lesson on how controlled breathing can actually make a world of difference. Whether you’re in sLrrups or out, I know it could be of great help to you too!
3. All Things Are Lessons That God Would Have Me Learn
Remember I told you I don’t share in parLcular beliefs and respect that others may? Well here’s a great example of what that looks like. Instead of omicng this great advice because its
can supplement her belief for my own and STILL benefit from this powerful message. So can you! I prefer to accept this as a statement showing me how hardships and the daily lessons the universe presents me with are meant for my current and future understanding, not my demise. Instead of walking around and viewing the world as a mean-spirited place where everyone is out to get me, I choose to see it as a place full of opportuniLes that I haven’t quite wrapped my head around yet. Much less inLmidaLng that way, right? Life is never supposed to be viewed as something that’s just happening to you. Its about exisLng and seeing life as a chance to take what you want out of it while you can. Only you can build and shape your own experiences!
4. Today, I Begin A New Life
Iyanla finishes her list of mantras with this key phrase emphasizing that whatever happened yesterday is done. All you have today is right here and right now. I think we can all relate to how hard this advice hits especially during this pandemic. Hearing about people who were alive and well just moments ago and are now afflicted, sickly and dying so quickly makes me want to grab everyone I love and squeeze them so Lght so
Lght so they have no doubt how much I need and appreciate them being in my life. Life is so short! If you can take even one thing from this arLcle and share it with the ones you love, I hope its this final mantra. Encourage those around you to let go of the past and remove the chains of trauma and shame that were once binding because we all need to enjoy the beauty of life as much as we possibly can. We need selfcare to keep ourselves moLvated and clear but we also need our community to care for itself in the very same way.
A Final Word
When I hear the words “Be Seen” or “I felt seen”, it is so validaLng! Even if I’m not the subject experiencing this moment, its that powerful to create a sense of relief in anyone around. You deserve to be seen for both who you are and for who you will soon become. Please don’t be afraid to eliminate people from your circle who do not provide you with that sense of connecLon that allows you to feel and be “seen” on a regular basis. This need for validaLon is so natural to the basic human existence that its listed as a vital characterisLc needed to sustain a healthy and balanced well-being. Imagine, just as much as you need oxygen to breathe and provide sLmuli for your bodily funcLons- you need people who just “get you”. I believe these steps will have us all on the fast track to being seen not only by others and for the right reasons but in our own eyes as well.
~Eternally & Truly Yours, Marshay
