TRAN/S/ BRITTAN HARDGERS

I HAD TO TAKE A BREAK Y’ALL, LISTEN A REAL LIFE BREAK FROM EVERYTHING. I HAD TO SAY NO! I HAD TO UNPLUG FOLKS FROM MY CIRCUIT BREAKER. I HAD NO IDEA MY GENERATOR HAD BEEN DEAD FOR MONTHS NOW. I SHOULD’VE KNOWN THOUGH, IT STARTED TO GET REAL DARK ON THE INSIDE. I BEGAN TO SURVIVE FROM THE FLICKER OF THE ONE LIGHT BULB LEFT, I WONDER IF THAT IS HOW I FOUND MY WAY TO THE BREAK ROOM. I COULD FEEL MYSELF LOSING STRENGTH IN MY LIMBS, I WOULD SQUEEZE MY EYES TIGHT FORCING THE DARKNESS TO BECOME A STATE OF MIND I STARTED SEEING QUESTION MARKS BOUNCING OFF MY NEUROLOGICAL WAVE PATTERNS I QUESTIONED… “HOW DOES MY HAPPINESS BRING SO MANY OTHERS EMOTIONAL PAIN?” I QUESTIONED… “WHAT DOES SELF CARE VISUALLY LOOK LIKE USING TUNNEL VISION?” I QUESTIONED.. “WHEN WILL YOU LEARN THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ABILITY VS CAPACITY?” I OPENED MY EYES; (FLICKER, FLICKER, FLICKER……..FLASH) I HAD TO TAKE A BREAK Y’ALL, LISTEN A REAL LIFE BREAK FROM EVERYTHING. I STOOD UP, NEVER REALIZING I WAS LAYING FACE DOWN I FOUND ENOUGH ENERGY TO SHIFT THE DEAD LIMBS, AFFIRMING POWERFUL DELIVERANCE I THOUGHT TO SELF…. I WILL MAKE IT OUT.. I WILL REACH THE POWER SOURCE …..AND AGAIN (FLICKER, FLICKER, FLICKER……..FLASH) DARKNESS I REACHED FORWARD.. I GRABBED THE KNOB.. I TURNED THE KNOB, SLIGHTLY TO THE RIGHT.. I PUSHED FORWARD.. I STUMBLED.. I WALKED INTO THE BREAK ROOM.. (FLICKER, FLICKER, FLICKER……..FLASH) THERE WAS LIGHT… I HEARD THE DOOR SLAM BEHIND ME.. I LOOKED TO THE LEFT.. I LOOKED TO THE RIGHT.. I LOOKED IN FRONT OF ME.. I LOOKED BEHIND ME.. I FOUND NO OUTLETS! I FELT DEFEATED! I WAS CONFUSED! I SLID ONTO THE GROUND.. I THOUGHT I MADE IT.. I SAT UPON THE FLOOR I SHOULD’VE KNOWN THOUGH, IT STARTED TO GET REAL DARK ON THE INSIDE I JUST NEEDED AN OUTLET TO RECHARGE MY GENERATOR I TOLD MYSELF, “I WILL MAKE IT OUT, YOU ARE THE POWER SOURCE” (FLICKER, FLICKER, FLICKER……..FLASH) MY GENERATOR BEGAN TO RECHARGE I BEGAN TO SEE.. I BEGAN TO HEAR.. I BEGAN TO FEEL.. I BEGAN TO SPEAK.. I BEGAN TO SMELL.. I HAD TO TAKE A BREAK Y’ALL, LISTEN A REAL LIFE BREAK FROM EVERYTHING. I JUST HAD TO SIT DOWN & REMIND MYSELF I AM THE POWER SOURCE

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