Living in the Light: Reflections Within. Javannah J. Davis

At one point during middle school, I found out that the friends I hung out with didn’t like me. My “best friend” at the time told me. One of the reasons they didn’t like me, she told me, was because I was too nice, and despite always wanting to do things with and for them, I was perceived as being too braggadocious for my giving nature. I was devastated to say the least. Felt like a fool for allowing myself to be so vulnerable, and shamed. Now normally anyone would just excuse this by saying, “Oh they were just kids.” and perhaps that argument is valid. Still it’s no less damaging to a person who genuinely cares for others. It’s hurtful still when adults show disdain towards someone for selfish or voluntarily misguided reasons.

We must know that oftentimes a person's rejection or contempt for you does not at all have anything to do with you, but speaks to everything in regards to the individual. It could be something within them that prevents them from appreciating who you are due to hurt, anger, confusion, or what they choose to believe. Either way, certain people simply will not like you no matter what you do, and no matter how likable you think you are. The fact of the matter is that you’re not going to win over every person you meet.

Guess what? That’s okay!

Don’t set yourself up and disrupt your energy by trying to please everyone. It’s IMPOSSIBLE! Your personality is uniquely made which means a few people will love and adore you, and others will not. This reality is easy to understand in hindsight, but holding to that perspective can prove frustrating during the occurrence of rejection. Rejection is uncomfortable in any form, whether it be social or romantic, but before you allow your world to be flipped upside down, keep in mind that it’s not just normal to be occasionally disliked, but it’s healthy

Rejection is your protection!

It helps us keep those around us that we are compatible with. You may not feel it at the times, but it also helps to empower you from the fear of being disliked. Besides, when you’re wasting energy trying to mold your personality or environment to someone else to be accepted, you’re blocking what is needed to find people who genuinely like you for you, and create relationships that are less exhausting.

Listen to the good messages from those around you that adore you unconditionally. Theirs are the voices that should continuously live rent-free in your head; including the very important sound of your own voice encouraging you everyday. Everyday tell yourself that you are worthy of love, and deserve it. Change your dialogue inwardly until nothing externally can penetrate the positive reinforcements you’ve created around yourself.

It’s often difficult for us to look inside ourselves and take accountability for our own happiness. How we encourage, protect, and love ourselves is beauty personified. The words we speak and the actions we take reflect our beauty, and validates the worth we see in ourselves. If what I am saying resonates with you, please know that you are enough.

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