INTRODUCING MAYSON PROCTOR Mel Howard

Mayson Proctor is a 26-year-old, Black, Transgender man from Baltimore, Maryland. Mayson owns a clothing line, called Dekhare, is a social media influencer and a proud father. He is very visible about his transition and secure about who he is. But there are pieces of his story that you may not know. Join Blaque/OUT as we explore that story, this chapter starts with… Mayson has conceived two children, one nine years old and the other, one years old. Proctor was just 16 years old when he was released from jail and had his first child. It wasn’t by choice, but because someone chose to take his innocence. He was hanging with "friends", 3 cisgender Black men, when some perps were placed in his drink. Mayson felt funny at the time but had no idea what was to come next. Two men held him down and someone he thought he knew took what wasn't theirs to take. Mayson, being a masculine presenting person, felt comfortable with men not because he wanted to date them but because he felt connected to them. He felt more so like them. Mayson has six brothers and three sisters but always felt more connected to his brothers, so it was not unusual for him to hang out with cisgender men. Mayson ignored red flags and disregarded the warning of a good friend to “be careful” around the man who sexually assaulted him because the hang-out invitation was to celebrate his coming home. Mayson’s first pregnancy was something he struggled with because it was connected to such immense trauma. He struggled to leave his home because the size of his belly was a constant reminder of what happened and an ever growing symbol of shame and embarrassment. Mayson spent most of the next 9 months inside of his room. When he did decide to leave his home and go outside, false stories spread about the man who assaulted him . Despite the trauma, Mayson continued to hang with cisgender men because he felt a bond with them even after what happened to him. He never pressed charges on the man who victimized him or the men who helped him because his plan was to get revenge. So angry by what happened to him, the anger consumed him. When Mayson would look at his daughter, he would see his rapist but before he could follow through with the plan karma caught up and his rapist was caught sexually assaulting someone else and was sentenced to prison. As an adult, Mayson decided to try pregnancy again, but this time planned and on his own terms. At the time of his first pregnancy, he dated cisgender women but as he started to transition his dating preferences changed. He dated his second child’s father for five-plus years when they had their child together. Despite the dysphoria from time to time, he felt the need to continue to work throughout his full term. His second child’s other parent was supportive throughout the pregnancy, but their relationship was rocky and didn’t last. Mayson celebrates his visibility because he believes it is important to show other Transmen, “Men do not have babies, Transmen have babies” Mayson is able to embrace himself and his transition by showing the beauty of the bond that is built during and after childbirth between parent and child. Mayson realizes his choice to have a child doesn’t stop other Transmen's existence, it just gives others the courage to make their own choices.