Being A Broad November 2009 #50
The monthly magazine for international women living in Japan
the
50
th
issue
www.being-a-broad.com
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IN THIS
ISSUE 4
6 We’re celebrating our 50th issue this month, with Elise Mori reminiscing on the fun we had putting the magazine together back in 1997, and our editor Dani finding out what our past cover girls are up to these days. In the absence of an individual cover girl, Dani and Sarah have convinced me to complete the usual cover girl questions on page six, and we’re really looking forward to seeing you at our 50th issue party at Suji’s, on Thursday 12th November, from 7 ‘till 9pm. There’s no entrance fee and all drinks are free as our thank you to our advertisers, contributors, subscribers, and you, our readers! RSVP to Sarah at sarah@ being-a-broad.com with your full name and email address.
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being a broad news
image: Alex Davi
image: David Stetson
message from the founder BAB events, BAB rep Aurora
our founder BAB’s own Caroline Pover
50th issue celebration • looking back at how it all began • we catch up with some of our cover girls
10 things we love
small but significant—things we love in Japan
news and events from around the globe
11 women of the world
image: spanner dan
4 BAB news
12 beauty
Boudoir gets us ready for fall
a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad night
we profile translator Maiyim Baron
13 Tokyo girl
Looking forward to seeing you there!
14 working
Enjoy! Caroline Pover BAB Founder
15 pullout poster
BAB supports Lindsay Ann Hawker’s family
adjusting to a new management style
19 working 13 Tokyo girl
the broads (and boys!)
20 sports
running into the aikido course of a lifetime
Toriizaka Art’s Karen Thomas
• Treehouse Montessori School • the thing with the sling
image: Sylvie from Papillion Studio (Brisbane).
Publishers Caroline Pover & Emily Downey Editor & Designer Danielle Tate-Stratton Marketing, Sales & Distribution Consultant Sarah Baker Advertisement Designer Chris May BAB reps Kelsey Aguirre (Shonan) kelsey@being-a-broad.com Shaney Crawford (Tsukuba) shaney@being-a-broad.com Aiko Miyagi (Okinawa) aiko@being-a-broad.com Aurora Bonaiuto-Davi (Shizuoka) aurora@being-a-broad.com Contributors Gabbi Bradshaw, Carine Luis, Stacy Kurokawa, Marilyn Klein, Gaby Sheldon, Alena Eckelmann, Maiyim Baron, Elise Mori, Parissa Haghirian, Sorcha Chisholm, Laura Marushima Proofreader Jane Farries Printing Mojo Print Opinions expressed by BAB contributors are not necessarily those of the Publishers.
21 arts
22 mothers 24
25
real-life story living the wicca lifestyle in Tokyo
she found love in Japan a school exchange leads to lasting love
25 she found love in Japan
Being A Broad magazine, editor@being-a-broad.com www.being-a-broad.com tel. 03-5879-6825, fax: 03-6368-6191 Being A Broad November 2009
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BAB NEWS
BAB supports Lindsay Ann Hawker A quote from the BAB book: (Now back in print!)
My name is Lindsay Ann Hawker I was murdered in March 2007 and buried in a bath of sand on the balcony of Tatsuya Ichihashi’s apartment in Tokyo. Ichihashi escaped from the police and still has not been found. If you have any information that may lead to his arrest, please call the Japanese police on 047-397-0110.
Please help my family find peace.
Subscriptions
Being A Broad October 2009 #49
The monthly magazine for international women living in Japan
our cover girl: ALLIED PICKFORDS’ CAROLINE KENNEDY
home schooling in JAPAN recognising and SURVIVING domestic violence SIN DEN’S best tips for FAB HAIR
help do your bit to FIND LINDSAY ANN HAWKER’S KILLER with our pullout poster
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helping to END BREAST CANCER with the PINK BALL celebrating 60 YEARS of CWAJ
www.being-a-broad.com Thanks for picking up this issue of Being A Broad. Like what you see? Then why not subscribe today? For just ¥4,500 you’ll get one year (12 issues) of Being A Broad delivered to your door. Email: editor@being-a-broad. com to subscribe today! Plus, we now have the past six issues of BAB on our website and will be adding more soon. Check them out at www.being-abroad.com, and let us know what you think!
In March 2007, Lindsay Ann Hawker, a 22-yearold English teacher from the UK, was found buried in a sand-filled bathtub on the balcony of Tatsuya Ichihashi’s apartment after giving him a private lesson in a nearby coffee shop. Ichihashi escaped when police visited his apartment to investigate and has not been seen since. As part of a recent effort to catch Ichihashi, the National Police Agency has introduced a new award of ¥10 million (previously only ¥1 million) for information concerning his whereabouts. Based in the UK, it is so difficult for Lindsay’s family to maintain public awareness of the fact that Ichihashi is still missing—let those of us who live here do our best to help them. Please help the Hawker family find Lindsay Ann’s killer with our pullout poster on pages 15–18.
Clothing (style): One problem with clothing in Japan is the style crisis. Most Japanese women pay great attention to their appearance and that includes their clothes. Designer clothes are everyday clothes, high heels are ideal for shopping or travelling, and everything is in immaculate condition. In Tokyo, even high school girls carry designer bags and purses, and there’s you in your jeans, trainers, and the favourite sloppy sweater you’ve had since you were nineteen. Many Western women start comparing themselves with Japanese women, not just with respect to size, but also style, and start to feel unattractive and frumpy… Due to the lack of clothes that fit, the clothing issue isn’t as easy to solve as the hair and beauty issues are. However, if you can find clothes that fit (and many secondhand stores carry larger sizes), you can find a range of styles that may not be available in your home countries. Bear in mind that being in another country means that you can explore many different things, including styles that you may not have considered at home. It also means that you may try styles that you had rather you hadn’t, a bit like being a teenager again when you cannot distinguish between what is fashionable and suits you, and what is neither stylish nor flattering. I personally enjoy the freedom Japan gives me in wearing whatever I like—people think I am different just because I am a foreigner anyway. I have a crazy furry coat that resembles Cookie Monster. It’s totally ridiculous I know, but I love it. I would never feel comfortable wearing it while wandering around my hometown—people would think I’d gone mad. The BAB book has just arrived from the printer! To order your copy (¥3,000, including tax), simply email info@being-a-broad.com.
You can pick BAB up at the following locations: Shibuya-ku: • British School Tokyo • Boudoir • Sin Den
Notting Hill • Krissman Tennis • PAL International School •
• Furla Yoga • Nua Japan
ROTI Roppongi • Paddy Foley’s • Asian Tigers
Minato-ku: • Suji’s • Nakashima Dentist • TELL •
Kichijoji: Shinzen Yoga Koto-ku: Toho Women’s Clinic Bunkyo-ku: Joy to the World International School Suginami-ku: JUN International School Chofu-shi: American School in Japan Yokohama: Treehouse Montessori
Nishimachi International School • Gymboree • Global Kids Academy • Mitsubishi UFJ Azabujuban • Tokyo Surgical and Medical Clinic • National Azabu • Segafredo • Tokyo American Club • Nissin World Delicatessen • Crown Relocations • Temple University • Hulabootie •
Nagoya: St. George Academy Tsukuba: Through BAB Rep Shaney Shonan: Through BAB Rep Kelsey Okinawa: Through BAB Rep Aiko Shizuoka: Through BAB Rep Aurora (To contact your local BAB Rep for a copy, simply send them an email. All contact details are on page three.)
WE PROFILE: SHIZUOKA REP
AURORA BONAIUTO-DAVI
all images provided by Alex Davi.
Aurora is ready to meet her fellow broads in Shizuoka.
What made you want to become a Being A Broad rep? Being a foreign woman living in the boonies, I pretty much had to fend for myself to learn the ropes here. I had other foreigners that taught me ‘life-saving’ things, like introducing me to the Daiso Store (my fave!) and helping me set up a bank account, etc. Yet, there is so much more to Japan and living here, so when I found BAB, it was a real blessing. All the broads are really knowledgeable, helpful, and offer so much experience. Being part of a community with so many wonderful women that really show their strength, intelligence, and capacity just reinforces my pride in being a woman. So when Caroline asked me to be the Shizuoka Rep, I was excited to be a part of it and perhaps help others. What are some of the events you would like to run in 2009/10? I wouldn’t mind organising a monthly ‘Ladies Night’ for dinner and drinks. This way, broads from Shizuoka can meet up and establish friendships. Also, I love learning new cultural things and staying active, so it would be nice to organise a camping trip or walking tour for a weekend, or even a day out in a museum or crafts shop BAB Event: Picnic with 37 Frames Being A Broad and 37 Frames Photography are thrilled to be spending a fall afternoon in the park with you! Join us Broads at Yoyogi Park and have your own mini photo session with Dee and Tracey. Mingle with new foreign women and relax in the beautiful park picnic-style. The event will take place on November 28 from noon–4pm (rain date: November 29, noon– 4pm), in Yoyogi Park (meet at the Harajuku Gates). The event, open to all foreign women in Tokyo,
once every couple of months. It helps build appreciation for Japan’s distinct culture. I’m up for anything, so if any ladies have suggestions, I’d love to hear them. The biggest challenge to organising an event is finding the right location that is convenient for everyone. It is something I will have to look into more. How does it feel to help out foreign women who are working and living in your area? I enjoy helping people. It’s in my nature. In some things I am very knowledgeable, in others I don’t know a thing. Whatever help I can offer, I am always glad to do so. For some women, they are fairly new to Japan and I know that is not easy. Living in a different country, without a proper handle on the language, culture, traditions, and being far from family and friends can take its toll. Yes, it’s exciting, but sometimes it’s tough. If I can help make it easier somehow, then of course it makes me happy to help out a fellow broad! How do you help other women living in your area? Well, my Japanese skills are very basic, so it’s not in translating! I have been in my area for almost seven years now, so I have got a very good handle on includes a mini photo session, two professional digital photographs, picnic lunch, drinks, and lots of fun, all for just ¥3,500. Please let Sarah know if you’ll be attending by emailing her by November 20 at sarah@beinga-broad.com. In your email, please let her know your name, email address and contact details, and preferred method of payment (PayPal or direct deposit via Mizuho bank). If you have any questions, please feel free to email Sarah at the above address or Dee and Tracey at 37frames@tokyo.com.
where to go for things and how things work in the surrounding cities in my area. I’ve helped some girlfriends with medical appointments, by taking them to English-speaking and very capable doctors or to hospitals that have Portuguese translators, which I speak, and have also helped with basic day-to-day living issues. Since I’ve been here for so long, I know many people, so what I can’t help them with, I connect them to someone who can help. What advice would you give to women who are struggling with adjusting to life in Japan? Learning at least conversational Japanese is essential to making your time here, however short or long that may be, easier. It’s not essential to survive, but it will definitely make your life easier. Take in as much of the culture as you can, approach new things with an open mind, and travel. Japan may be a small country but there is so much to see. Take advantage of it. Lastly, whatever you do, don’t lose your Self. Being able to adapt is a wonderful thing but as a traveller myself, I always try to remember my roots, who I am, and where I came from. In my opinion it is very important to balance acceptability and integration with one’s own personal convictions. How can members contact you? Email me anytime at: aurora@being-a-broad. com. I look forward to meeting new broads here BAB in Shizuoka!
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BAB Readers’ Survey: Do you pick up BAB occasionally or subscribe to get every issue? Love the magazine or wish you could have your hand in changing it? Either way, we’d love to hear from you! Please take a minute or two to answer our brief reader’s survey, which can be easily accessed at http:// tinyurl.com/y8o2x58. To thank you for participating, we’ll enter you into a draw for one of a few great prizes— plus your answers will help us serve you better!
Being A Broad November 2009
our founder
P OV E R
of Being A Broad, photography by David Stetson Full name: Caroline Pover Age: 38 Nationality: British Grew up in: UK (plus a couple of years in Saudi Arabia) Time in Japan: 13 years Japanese level: embarrassing Works at: my own company Why did you come to Japan? For adventure! I was a primary school teacher in the UK who was feeling a little restless and had a rather large student debt to deal with. A friend who had spent some time in Japan several years earlier suggested I come here. But she warned me not to stay longer than a year because she said that all the foreigners were crazy. That was in 1997... Why do you stay in Japan? The adventure hasn’t stopped yet! There always seems to be something new and interesting to do, with new and interesting people. I get ideas for new projects on about a weekly basis, and life here is good! For the most part, to me, Japan is really safe, the people are very friendly, and the weather is just beautiful! I actually enjoy not understanding everything going on around me, and I feel free of any expectations here. My life here has not been without its struggles by any means, but Japan is now my home and I really do love it. How do you manage to balance everything in your life? I think my days are quite varied and even though I work a lot, there are lots of different elements to my work. I have my silent focused time on the computer, and I have my social time with clients or at events. My husband is very supportive about the fact that I like to work on weekends, but we make sure we spend quality time together. Balancing the individual projects is sometimes a bit of a challenge but I have learnt to be very efficient with my time— this was something I learned after my strokes. When you have limited brain capacity you work out what’s really important and then focus on that. What do you do to relax? I’m not actually very good at this. I genuinely enjoy what I do and work in a lovely environment, so I rarely feel stressed. I have to ‘force’ myself to relax! But I do that by having my hair done at Sin Den every other month (it takes a half-day to deal with mine!), monthly trips to Boudoir (I think I look forward to that facial more than anything), and getting my nails done once a fortnight. And a good glass or two of red wine helps! I am also very silly with our dogs, always cuddling them and playing with them, and even making up silly songs about them—I find their presence to be very relaxing. Best thing about being a foreign woman in Japan?The bonding with other foreign women you meet here. I have met some incredible women here and I really don’t think I would have done anywhere else in quite the same way. What an inspiration! BAB
image: David Stetson/www.davidstetson.com
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CAROLINE
A Day in the Life: 7:45am: I just realised that I actually get woken each morning with a kiss! Pass the sick bucket, I know! I don’t use an alarm clock and instead just sleep as long as I need (a habit I got into when I was recovering from my strokes—I still need a lot of sleep!) so I don’t see my husband in the morning, but he likes to give me a kiss anyway before he leaves for work. I usually go straight back to sleep. 8–9am: I get up sometime between 8 and 9am, shower, dress in something slobby because I work from home, feed the dogs, eat breakfast while watching them play in the garden, then wander round picking up their poo...not a very glamorous start to the day! 90 minutes later: We all pile upstairs to an office I have in our house where the dogs snuggle up together and I get to work, mostly on admin-related tasks such as the BAB online newsletter, filling book orders, following up with people I’ve met with the previous day, and dealing with email. My office is a lovely place to work—overlooking the garden and with lots of trees in front of the window, and plenty of plants inside. I keep meaning to paint a picture for one of the walls but haven’t got round to it yet. Nancy and/or Sarah may arrive at some point in the morning if they’re not working from home, too. Everyone else I work with works from home. At some point I’ll throw on some makeup and some decent clothes before leaving the house. 12:30pm: I usually have a lunch meeting with a client, business acquaintance, or colleague, or at
a networking function. I prefer to have meetings over lunch because I find it aids the bonding process, and it is important to me to enjoy the relationships I have with people I work with. And it means I can do two things at once! Recently meetings have been about an artist I am working with (David Hewett), a project I am thinking about doing with my mum in the UK, BAB partnerships, schools guidebook promotions, or the production of a series of books for Japanese women that I have written. If I don’t have an evening function or dinner, then I’ll pick up food on the way home. 2pm: I work pretty intensely in the afternoons for about four hours solid on a specific project. Recently I’ve been focusing on the Japanese edition of the schools guidebook. 6pm: Feed dogs and either prepare dinner or prepare myself for going out! If I’m not out for the evening then I’ll work a couple more hours until Richard comes home, when we’ll eat together around 8:30pm. If I’m out then it’s either a client/friend/colleague dinner, a reception I’m throwing for Hewett, a BAB event, or a speech/ book-signing I’m giving. 10–11pm: Time for bed! I really need about nine hours sleep so I have to be sure to get to bed around this time. Weekends actually follow pretty much the same routine, except Richard takes care of the dogs and dinner, and my lunch ‘meetings’ are with him! I really enjoy working on weekends and never wanted to have a nine-to-five, Monday-toFriday life.
FIFTY ISSUES by Elise Mori
“We’ve come a long, long way together, Through the hard times and the good. I have to celebrate you, Baby, I have to praise you like I should.” Lyrics: Cruel Intentions/Fat Boy Slim
“
I stood and waited with my backpack in Ebisu station for my friend for eight hours. He even-
he meetings were always berserk and drunken, women in a state of near hysteria, so relieved to T find someone who knew EX-ACT-LY what they were feeling, thinking, about to say. pile of BABs in my front basket and a (then) small child in a bucket seat hanging from the handlebars, handing out the magazine to any foreign woman I met. Some were suspicious that I was trying to recruit them into a cult, while others had heard of Being A Broad, like some underground movement. But Being A Broad was never some exclusive club: if you are foreign and a female, just jump on and enjoy the ride, and why not? After all, it’s free. Why do foreign women need a forum, anyway? What about foreign men? Isn’t this all a little (whisper it) feminist? Why not just read Gaijin Pot or Tokyo Classifieds? Because we all need positive role models or occasionally a little inspiration, don’t we? I mean, who are all these foreign female high flyers and self-starters, what do they have for breakfast, and where can I get qualifications like theirs? And meanwhile, how do I get a smear test when the local doctors are eigo dekinai, or a haircut, or even some clothes to fit me, for that matter? And is anyone else out there in perma-meltdown with their Japanese partner, is it just me? You could be a hostess, an ALT, or a
ethos of BAB is to be of actual help, not to be a crutch or a sick-bag. The tually turned up. It was my first day ever in Japan, I was just off the plane, no alternative place to stay, and I had hardly any money.” Now every time I travel through Ebisu station I think of Caroline, how she was stood up here by her only contact in Japan, and how that didn’t deter her from creating the single most helpful forum for foreign women living in this country. Re-reading the first few issues of Being A Broad, they are still relevant, hilarious, boundarypushing. On my first night in Tokyo I picked up a copy of Tokyo Classifieds, answered a very small ad, and eventually met up with the others on a Thursday a few months later. The meetings were always berserk and drunken, women in a state of near hysteria, so relieved to find someone who knew EX-ACT-LY what they were feeling, thinking, about to say. Before the days of email, the internet, or mobile phones, the magazine was first put together on our kitchen tables, bedroom floors, black and white, cut and paste, midnight taxis to the printers, dealing with rip-off merchants, hangovers, jobs, children, husbands, all in order to save our sanity. We needed to talk, be heard, and listen to others, to get a life. I remember cycling through Inokashira Park with a
Pentagon envoy and this magazine would still be relevant to you. Today, Being A Broad is full colour and glossy, but the content still rocks, impossible as ever just to skim through, the stories and advice just as compelling. Even the advertising is right there, what I need.
Being A Broad June 2009 #45
The monthly magazine for international women living in Japan
our cover girls: INGENIUM’S Laetitia Leconte and Jennifer Lladoc-Penaverde
a broad in the boonies: ICHINOMIYA
50th issue celebration
BAB CELEBRATES
s.z. cairney on
the life of a NAVY TAKING CONTROL Being A Broad WIFE in Japan of the mornings August 2009 #47
The monthly magazine for international women living in Japan
our cover girl: HOOP LOVERS’ ASIA’S new UNIVERSITY,
help do yourDEANNE TONKING just for women bit to FIND LINDSAY ANN real-life story: HAWKER’S the ONLY GIRL in the KILLER with our s.z. cairney on OUENDAN pullout poster POOLSIDE
Being A Broad October 2009 #49
The monthly magazine for international women living in Japan
GOSSIP
the thrills of CANYONING
our cover girl: ALLIED PICKFORDS’ CAROLINE KENNEDY
www.being-a-broad.com JAPAN’S first bi-cultural school for the DEAF JANE’S struggles explored through ART a broad in the boonies: HAYAMA CITY he proposed at the SHIBUYA CROSSING!
home schooling
in JAPAN the HAWKER recognising and family’s PLEA
SURVIVING domestic violence
SIN DEN’S best help do your tips for FAB HAIR bit to FIND LINDSAY ANN HAWKER’S KILLER with ourhelp do your bit to FIND pullout posterLINDSAY ANN
helping to END BREAST CANCER with the PINK BALL celebrating 60 YEARS of CWAJ
HAWKER’S KILLER with our pullout poster
www.being-a-broad.com www.being-a-broad.com If ever there were a case for working for free, for being paid in kind, Being A Broad is it. Personally, writing for BAB has helped me to find my voice as a writer, not to mention find a paid writing gig and illustration work. Living in a foreign country allows us to be taken for what we are, not to be judged by what soap brand we use or our regional accents, and BAB embodies that ideal: it refuses to allow you to moan—hey, if you want to complain, do it somewhere else because there are more opportunities for me and mine in Japan than in the place that I come from, not the opposite. As a forum for women, it also seems to circumvent the less appealing aspects of womanhood, (e.g., I’m not complete without a man, I’m fat, I want what you’ve got and putting you down because of that is acceptable etc., ad nauseam). The ethos of BAB is to be of actual help, not to be a crutch or a sick bag. No one here is going to call you a skinny bitch, BAB and we all thank the Goddess for that. Elise Mori has been variously illustrator, Food Columnist, and Parenting Editor For Being A Broad since its first issue, back in the day. She also contributed to the Being A Broad book. Her blog is at www.lotus-weblog.com.
Being A Broad November 2009
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50th issue celebration
WE CATCH UP WITH
OUR COVER GIRLS cover photography by Kerry Raftis/www.keyshots.com
Over the past 50 issues of BAB, we’ve been lucky enough to meet, profile, support, and be inspired by hundreds of foreign women living in Japan, including our cover girls, many of whom continue to survive and thrive here. In celebration of 50 issues, we got in touch with our past cover girls to see both where they are, where they’re going, and what advice they have offer to other foreign women here. Here’s what just some of these amazing women had to say. Enjoy!
Name: Narcisa Pheres Cover: February, 2007 Where do you live today? I live in Munich, but I travel back and forth between Germany and Italy. What are you doing? Same as before, fashion design for Pheres and a few other brands. Name: June (Kitagawa) Sakamoto Cover: October, 2007 Where do you live today? Tokyo What are you doing? I am currently enjoying my time as a stay-at-home mom to my four-yearold and five-month-old sons.
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Name: Geeta Mehta Cover: August, 2007 Where do you live today? I have just relocated to New York. What are you doing? I am teaching architecture at Columbia University. I have also started my architecture practice and just finished my first project—the renovation of my apartment in Manhattan. With my husband, we have also launched the USA chapter of Asia Initiatives, an NGO we started in Japan with the help of many friends to support projects in South India that are “pro-women, pro-poor, and pro-environment.” I am coming to Japan for the 10th Anniversary Gala of our organisation, and also for the Annual Awards Reception of the American Institute of Architects, of which I am still the president. I am also finishing up my fifth book on Japanese architecture and design. Tip to help women survive and thrive in Japan: Be creative. Opportunities may not come to you in neat packages like they may have back home—but they are there if you can be a bit flexible.
Name: Mary Saphin Cover: May, 2009 Tip to help women survive and thrive in Japan: Learn to speak Japanese and network within a range of different organisations to ensure you get out and meet the amazing foreign women already living in Japan! Where do you live today? Tokyo. What are you doing? The same job! [Working for the Asian Tigers relocation firm.] The same things!
Name: Françoise Lions Cover: November, 2007 Where do you live today? Tokyo What are you doing? I develop special concepts tailored to the specific needs and image of brands and corporations through my Business Consulting Services, including art and design services (http://FLconceptor.com). The success of my business is based on creating and delivering more value to people by connecting with them and providing them with what they want or need to thrive in their own business. My most exciting forthcoming project is the launch of the ‘LET THEM LIVE’ book, which aims to increase awareness and sustain the implementation of beneficial actions in Africa with regard to prevention and treatment of HIV/ AIDS (http://letthemliveproject.blogspot. com). As a supporter of this project I made the watercolour painting for the book cover that represents the two main characters of the novel.
50th issue celebration
Being A Broad December 2008 #39
The monthly magazine for international women living in Japan
our cover girls: FURLA Yoga’s Dominica Serigano and Dana Levy
finding FRIENDSHIP in Chiyoda our HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE
Name: Jane Best Cover: January, 2009 Where do you live today? Akiruno city, Tokyo What are you doing? CEO of Refugees International Japan. Tip to help women survive and thrive in Japan: My advice to help anyone to thrive in Japan is to be yourself, while enjoying the good things of Japan.
Being A Broad April 2008 #31
The monthly magazine for international women living in Japan
our cover girl: Legal Future’s Amber Clinton
help do your bit to FIND LINDSAY ANN HAWKER’S KILLER with our pullout poster
heritage KIMONO QUILTS true Japanese IMMERSION s.z cairney on a CHRIMBO CONCERT translating for KODO
www.being-a-broad.com Name: Dominica Serigano Cover: I was the cover girl with Dana Levy in December 2008 issue of BAB, representing FURLA Yoga Studio. Where do you live today? I still live here in Japan in Kichijoji. What are you doing? I continue to teach yoga classes at Shizen Yoga Studio in Kichijoji and remain involved in FURLA Yoga as a yoga advisor. Name: Dana Levy Where do you live today? I currently live in Portland, Oregon, USA. I relocated recently, in July, 2009. What are you doing? I am still a yoga instructor, and still involved in Furla Yoga from overseas, as the co-manager of the studio.
SUPPORT for women with breast cancer dealing with DIFFICULT CO-WORKERS
Name: Nicole Yamada Cover: July, 2007 Where do you live today? I live in Minato-ku, What are you doing? I am still working as the vice-president of Gymboree Play & Music Japan, as I was when I was the Cover Girl. Tip to help women survive and thrive in Japan: My advice would to be learn as much Japanese as possible and don’t be afraid to ask for help from fellow expats.
Being A Broad September 2008 #36
The monthly magazine for international women living in Japan
our cover girl: the Tokyo Comedy Store’s SPRING DAY s.z. cairney on PACKING the PERFECT LUNCH how you can RUN for the CURE
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PLUS! making a meal of KEDGEREE a broad in the boonies: HACHIJO-JIMA a foreign female FILM-MAKER rebuilding THAILAND bilingual toddler TANTRUMS
finding the WRITER WITHIN s.z. cairney on KEEPING UP APPEARANCES broads who DIVE DEEP
hit an ACE on the COURT and in the OFFICE honor dargan on how TOKYO beats SINGAPORE
give HANGING TEN a try tasty TEMPURA
www.being-a-broad.com
www.being-a-broad.com
Name: Amber B. Clinton (Miller) Cover: April, 2008 Where do you live today? Denver, Colorado. What are you doing? After ten years in Japan I recently returned to the US and gave birth to my son, Theodore Robert Miller. Although I miss my time at Legal Futures dearly, I love being a mom! Hopefully I will have the opportunity to work with Damion Way and Matt Anderson again in the future—they were the best colleagues I could have asked for.
Name: Spring Day Cover: September, 2008 Where do you live today? Tokyo What are you doing? I am still teaching and perform at the Tokyo Comedy store. I did a week’s worth of shows in Dublin, Ireland and I am currently preparing for my show at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival in 2010. Tip to help women survive and thrive in Japan: My advice for foreign women in Japan is take advantage of the lack of social pressure to BAB fit in and pursue your destiny. Being A Broad November 2009
THE LITTLE THINGS
WE LOVE IN JAPAN
a.
c.
b.
A tip from Anna— The Real Thing:
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Sometimes living in Japan can be so surreal that it literally feels like a dream. Like that time you shared a beer with Little Bo Peep and ate octopus balls, and a guy on the street asked if he could have a strand of your hair, and also were your breasts real? Because that was no dream. This time in Japan may be a hiatus, or an adventure, or just be outside your comfort zone, but it isn’t time out of your real life—it is your real life! And not to kill your buzz, but it’s the only one you get. So dive deep, kick up your heels, and suck the juice and marrow out of it. And if you ever get a chance to hang out with Little Bo Peep, definitely go for it. Anna Kunnecke is a life coach living in Tokyo. www.annakunnecke.com
d.
c. Getting interesting, affordable English reading material is not so easy here in Japan. The libraries in smaller cities have a very limited selection. Through the Being A Broad discussion board, I discovered bookmooch.com, which is free to join, international, and user-friendly. I have sent off about a dozen books that were cramming my shelf and collecting dust. I, in turn, made a wish list using the same system and have been getting books I want to read delivered to my door for free using points I earned from the ones I sent off. The website links people automatically. If you are a bookworm like me, I’m sure you’ll love this system.—SK b. I love the sound of the Creative Fitness a. I love the beautiful, Japanese-themed holiday Group’s workshop coming up on November 30 cards made by Keyshots (www.keyshots.com), from 6:30–9:30. The workshop, co-facilitated by run by Kerry Raftis, an Australian photographer Larry Purdy and Kristin Newton, is designed to help right here in Tokyo. Now’s the time to start thinking people exercise their creative thinking and problemabout holiday cards, especially with international solving skills. Just as we ‘work out’ our bodies, Larry shipping times, so why not visit Kerry’s website to and Kristin believe our brains need to be regularly challenged as well for the best performance. find out how to get started?—LW The three-hour workshop includes exercises to d. I love yakiniku (Korean BBQ), but find it can nudge participants out of their comfort zones be a bit expensive sometimes, which is why I and into new levels of creativity. The workshop love the chain An An, known for its inexpensive will be held at the Anaheim University Office in à la carte choices and Asahi beer for less than Omotesando and costs ¥7,500. To register, email ¥300. Every time I’ve been, two of us have left creativefitnessgroup@me.com.—NW comfortably stuffed for considerably less than ¥2,000 each, a great deal given that the food is Do you have a ‘little thing you love in Japan?’ If the really very good as well! For a location near you, answer is yes, email 50–150 words about it, and a visit www.fuji-tatsu.co.jp.—DTS picture, to: editor@being-a-broad.com!
WOMEN OF THE WORLD
compiled by Danielle Tate-Stratton
The US House of Representatives recently passed a bill allowing for the sale of federal property and authorised the building of a National Women’s History Museum in Washington DC. The Bill will now go before the Senate for further approval.
The World Economic Forum’s annual Global Gender Gap report was recently released, placing Iceland on the top of the list for gender parity. The report measures indicators such as economic empowerment, political participation, and health. A report from the Guttmacher Institute, titled: Abortion Worldwide: A Decade of Uneven Progress has shown that although overall rates of abortion have fallen over the past ten years, making abortions illegal doesn’t affect their frequency. Instead, women seek illegal abortions, therefore putting themselves at risk—the report states that some 70,000 women die each year from unsafe, typically illegal abortions.
Indiana University, Bloomington Professor of Economics Elinor Ostrom recently became the first-ever woman to receive the Nobel Prize for Economics. image: iStockphoto/David Marchal
A study of just under 1,600 women carried out by Monash University of Australia showed that well-educated women have more difficulty coping with being diagnosed with breast cancer. This is because they tend to have a harder time with the loss of control in their lives, as well as constantly look for multiple sources of information, which could raise levels of anxiety.
A study by Inge Custers of the Centre for Reproductive Medicine in Amsterdam looked at nearly 400 couples using in vitro fertilisation to get pregnant, and found that when a woman stayed lying on her back for 15 minutes following the procedure, her chances of having a live birth were higher—27 percent for these women compared to 17 percent for those who moved immediately after the procedure. Judge Asmahan Liwheidi is one of two women recently appointed to an Islamic court, the first time women have been allowed to preside over cases in Sharia law. A high-ranking politician in Pakistan allowed the women to sit the judge’s test, a decision that has been supported by many Muslim men. A Kuwaiti lawyer, Rula Dashti, was among the first four women to be elected to Kuwait’s National Assembly in May and has recently put forth an amendment to reverse an election law that requires women in parliament to follow Sharia law, which has been a requirement since 2005.
Thanks to a recent ruling in Kuwait, women no longer require their husband’s permission to receive passports, reversing a regulation that had been in place since 1962.
After studying it for several years, two researchers in Canada have discovered that there are 237 different reasons women have sex, including altruism, revenge, and for pleasure.
Women in Puebla, Mexico, who may be tired of inappropriate advances from male taxi drivers or fear for their safety while in a cab will now have the option of riding in one of 24 ‘pink cabs,’ each of which is driven solely by women, for women. The cabs are equipped with bank machines, GPS, access to an emergency operator, and a beauty kit. image:iStockphoto/art-4-art
The recent Afghan reelections were troubled with various forms of fraud related to female voters, including women voting multiple times, men voting on behalf of women on repeated occasions, and other suspicious actions. In one town, where just 250 people live, 200 women were reported to have voted within three hours. In Afghanistan, women are reluctant to vote, largely due to threats of violence and a lack of female polling station attendants. Therefore, male family members have been allowed to vote for them, often stuffing the ballot boxes in the process.
Scientists in Canada have shown that, contrary to popular belief, women suffering from a heart attack suffer the same symptoms as men, including pain in the chest, jaw, and neck areas. Dr. Beth Abramson, of the Canadian Heart and Stroke Foundation, said that everyone should be aware of the most common first symptom—a heaviness on your chest. Researchers in the UK have shown that whether or not a woman is on The Pill could affect the type of man she finds attractive. According to the scientists, women who have their hormones chemically controlled are less likely to seek rugged men and instead are attracted to more effeminate men who look more like they do. The scientists caution this could lead to fertility issues, as couples who are too genetically similar may have trouble conceiving. Naissance Capital, a Swiss investment company, will be launching a fund named the Women’s Leadership Fund in 2010. The fund, with an initial valuation of $200 million hopes to eventually invest $2 billion in companies around the world whose management structure is made up at least 20 percent female executives. Seven of the fund’s eight leaders are women from countries such as South Africa, New Zealand, and the UK. The German Lutheran Church recently elected Margot Kaessmann to be Chairperson, the church’s highest position. The appointment makes Kaessmann both the youngest person and BAB only woman ever appointed to the role. Being A Broad November 2009
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beauty
FOREVER
AUTUMN by Marilyn Klein
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image: iStockphoto.com/ Andriy Goncharenko
ith summer gone and autumn just on our doorstep, many of us are probably experiencing the excesses of summer and the party season, such as overexposure to the sun, damaged locks, and poor eating habits. With the days getting shorter and chillier, now is the perfect time of year to reassess and revitalise your makeup and skin and to get your body and soul in great shape for autumn. It’s also a time for reflection. Do you feel happy with your fitness and health? This is the perfect time of the year to start a health and fitness program. It’s not too hot and not too cold, so no excuses! Making the first step towards a healthier lifestyle can be overwhelming. Well, don’t fret—it’s never too late to improve your health inside and out. Getting fit doesn’t have to be drastic. It’s better to make small changes that are sustainable and enjoyable. Take baby steps to a fitter, healthier you. Beauty from within: Detox your body for a healthier life. An aching body, low energy levels, and exhausted mind are signs that your body is trying to tell you that it’s time to detox. It’s a way of getting in tune with your body after some time and spring-clean the internal system to get rid of the toxins built up. The laziness and frivolity of summer have caused most of us to neglect our bodies. Doing an effective detox works wonders for your skin, hair, and general energy levels. Avoiding sugar, wheat, and dairy for a couple weeks and replacing this with a mainly raw diet is often quite revealing and helps us to feel better, lighter, and more youthful, with greater energy.
better to make small changes that are sustainable It’s and enjoyable. Take baby steps to a fitter, healthier you. image: iStockphoto.com/Cevdet Gökhan Palas
Skin deep: Now is the time to take care of your skin. Use a facial scrub to exfoliate any dead skin cells caused by the damaging effects of too much sun and sunscreen. At Boudoir, we recommend you exfoliate twice a week for optimum results. After exfoliating, it’s best to use a moisture mask that will add valuable moisture to your skin. Apply twice weekly in the shower, just for five minutes, and your skin will be softer and more hydrated. Complete your at-home facial with a moisturiser or, better still, combine a serum with your favourite moisturiser. While facial serums can give you added moisture, the main reason you’d want to use a facial serum is to get added nutrients into the deeper layers of your skin that a regular moisturiser is unable to reach. You can get many types of serums, such as anti-aging, skin brightening, and even acne-preventative serums. You apply the serum after your toner and before your moisturiser. You may need to use a heavier moisturiser in the cooler months, and don’t forget your sunscreen if you want to keep wrinkles at bay.
image: iStockphoto.com/Kateryna Govorushchenkoi
image: iStockphoto.com/Dmitry Bairachnyi
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Let’s get physical! Exercise activity is crucial now, as in any season. As the weather cools, stretching is even more important, as is adding indoor exercises to our routine. If you want to find a form of exercise that will not be as monotonous as going to the gym or for a run, why not try dancing? Dancing is a great way to get fit for people of all ages. Flexibility is an important part of being healthy and dance requires a great amount of flexibility. Dancing is a great way to increase strength, endurance, and a sense of well-being. Boudoir highly recommends Tokyo’s hottest new dance studio, FAB Dance academy. FAB has some exciting classes on offer such as hula-hooping, yoga, sassy girl, salsa, latin, modelling, and hip hop.
Sleeping beauty: Getting a good night’s sleep is just as important as good nutrition and exercise. In actual fact, your body is healing and repairing as you sleep. For this reason, dermatologists often suggest using your most ‘active’ skin creams before bed. To avoid puffy, bloodshot eyes, dark under-eye circles, and a pale washedout complexion, as well as gain peak alertness and energy, most experts say you need eight hours of sleep a night. Daily exercise can also aid in a better night’s sleep. Just 20 minutes a day can keep the stress hormones from interfering with your sleep. Chowing down on a big meal before bedtime will disrupt sleep, so try and make sure you finish your last meal about two hours before you plan on turning the lights out. Also, make sure that your room is comfortably cool. Minimise light and noise. Try using an eye mask if your room is too light. Lastly, try to avoid caffeine, nicotine, and other stimulants within four hours of bedtime. To book an appointment with Boudoir and start rejuvenating yourself inside and out, visit www. boudoirtokyo.com or tel. 03-3478-5898. BAB
NO GOOD, VERY BAD NIGHT by Gabbi Bradshaw
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cried in the cab last night. It was 1:30am, and I was d-o-n-e with trying to fit in here. My terrible, horrible, no good, very bad night started with rain. I had to change into less fashionable shoes that had a bit more traction. Then I doubted my look. I looked in the metal bar I use as a mirror and wondered if my skirt was too short. I squatted, leaned, and peeked. No undies. I thought about changing to a slightly longer black skirt, but my ‘rain’ shoes looked best with this skirt. Also, the last time I wore this outfit I received a lot of compliments. And besides, I was going to be competing with younger, skinnier girls. I needed to be in top form. So I ignored what I learned in my 20s and walked out with my short skirt (which looked good) and my lack of confidence (which didn’t look so good). The humidity caused my feet to swell and my ankle to rub raw; I could feel the wetness of blood. While waiting for the train, I rummaged through my black designer handbag and found a Band-Aid. I plastered it on. To my relief, there was one seat open on the train to Shinjuku. I sat down and the old man next to me gave me a mean look, got up, and walked down the train in search of another seat. I glanced around to figure out what I did wrong—nothing. I blew this off as it happens often and my Japanese tutors warned me before I moved here not to take it personally. They confided in me that often people are afraid you’re going to speak to them in English and they’ll look stupid. It’s like not sitting next to little kids because they cry. Or hungover people because they smell. As the train pulled up in Shinjuku, a man on the platform in a green shirt and bowl haircut slammed his clear umbrella in front of me. I met his eyes, and he glowered. His brow furrowed. Baffled, I
continued my forward motion, but he shook his head ‘no’ and swung his umbrella with malevolence. I didn’t want to miss the train, but more importantly, I didn’t want to be hit with an umbrella, especially because I wasn’t sure anybody would notice. So I turned, ran to the next car and leapt on. Discreetly, I glanced down the train cars and saw his green shirt like a beacon. My heart boomed, but he didn’t seem to see me. Back to being invisible. Scowling, I met my friend at a dull place with dull people telling dull stories about their dull lives. We finally ended up at my favourite hot spot. The one where I’m not as invisible. Spotting a prime seat at an outdoor table, I snaked my way through the crowd and as I was about to set my handbag down, I was pushed with two hands from behind. It sent me flying past the table. My friend, her friend Kento, and I settled at a spot at the smoky bar instead and while my friend texted, I was left with Kento. Kento lived with his parents and ruined my chances of meeting anybody. I scanned the crowds and mentally texted while he droned on about himself. I had enough. I was saying my good-byes when Kento said, “You have time for another drink before the last train.” He took out his iPhone and checked the application. “12:50am is the last one.” All I really wanted was my own bed, but my friend texted me and begged me not to leave her alone with him. Halfway through my vodka Redbull, I was jolted with the rational thought that there was NO way the last train was 12:50am from Midtown. I inquired again, and Kento said, “Oh…I thought you meant from Shinjuku.” Not only did he live with his parents, he was dim. He checked and confirmed what I feared, the last train was 12:36am. I looked at my phone; it was 12:35am.
Now I would have to pay $50 for a cab. I counted my money. Barely enough. I groaned and moaned and decided to finish my drink. At 1:15am, I lumbered over to the taxi queue. I waved down a cab, and some obnoxious drunk salaryman stepped in front of me and waved three Japanese girls into my cab. The driver looked dismayed but didn’t say anything. Invisible again. I waved at another cab; it drove by me. As did another and another and another. Apathetic, I stepped in front of the next one. It opened the door, and I climbed in. “Takadanobaba Eki,” I said. He sucked in his breath, clucked, and then silence. No movement. No sounds. No punching buttons on the GPS. I said it again more slowly. Nothing. In desperation, I used my best hand gestures, facial expressions, and Japanese accent. He understood. In the back seat, I calculated how much the night cost me. $95. Plus my pride. I had been pushed, ignored, discounted, threatened, and rejected. And now, I did not have enough money to go to the beach on Saturday. So I cried. I swiped at the tears that silently screamed down my cheeks. I didn’t care about my mascara. I didn’t care about the sniffles. I didn’t care the driver would have a pathetic loser gaijin story to share with his family. Back at my apartment, I peeled off my shoes and went straight for the thin mint Girl Scout cookies in my freezer. I ate two before I felt better. Munching on my third, I thought, “Maybe this is my subconscious telling me it’s time to move on.” I climbed over my twin bed, stepped onto my balcony overlooking Tokyo, nibbled on my fourth cookie, and realised, “Or maybe it’s just a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad night.” BAB They happen. Being A Broad November 2009
image: spanner_dan
waved at another cab; it drove by me. As did another and another and another. Apathetic, II stepped in front of the next one.
Tokyo girl
TERRIBLE, HORRIBLE,
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working
Image provided by Maiyim Baron.
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WE PROFILE:
Maiyim at the Yamadera Bashō Memorial Museum.
MAIYIM BARON of the Yamadera Bashō Memorial Museum and the Mogami Yoshiaki Historical Museum, Yamagata Name: Maiyim Baron Nationality: American Qualifications: BA, Washington University, St. Louis in Japanese Language and Literature, including a year at Waseda University. Graduate study, Japanese Art History, University of Washington, Seattle. Job title: translator and interpreter Employer: The Yamadera Bashō Memorial Museum and Mogami Yoshiaki Historical Museum. Salary: ¥170,000/month Time in this job: started April 2009 Job description: As part of the local ‘stimulus package,’ Yamagata’s mayor created this new job to make local museums more accessible. Haven’t you been frustrated in museums here when the only explanation is in high-level Japanese? I’m so glad the City hired me to work on these issues. Both museums have information sheets, which visitors greedily pick up, so one of my first tasks was translating those. I guide non-Japanese reading guests through our exhibitions, but mainly I translate, which usually involves quite a bit of research. Japanese viewers have an amazing capacity to remember historical facts and famous literary and artistic personages, but most non-Japanese viewers have little context for the art here. Every Japanese high schooler knows Bashō’s poetry, but newcomers to Japan may not even know what makes a haiku a haiku. Our curator gives me Japanese captions for the exhibit or catalog, but if I simply wrote in the English version, for example, ‘clove-bud hamon,’ unless the viewer is already a sword connoisseur, they are not likely to know that the hamon is the wavy pattern produced on the blade by the forging method and the way quenching mud is used. Japanese requirement: I got this job because of my facility in spoken and written Japanese, important to be able to relate in a Japanese office environment and also since quite a lot of reading is required. They wanted a native English speaker to produce work in English—in short, someone skilled in translation, and my art history and literature background was a bonus they didn’t realise they were getting. General conditions: Sometimes my Japanese skills are inadequate and a day at the office can be tiring. Since my job is officially for the Cultural Promotion section of the city government, I have to be basically at my desk for set working hours, and there are complex conditions regarding what days I get off. For an American used to working on her own time, or to calling it a day when the day’s work was done, it’s hard to sit at my desk till the clock hits 5:15. How she found this job: This job found me! I’ve worked as a freelance interpreter and translator for almost 20 years, and wasn’t even thinking of a fulltime job. As things go here in the web of social and professional contacts that shape our lives, I couldn’t refuse when asked to help out with the flyer for the
Bashō Museum’s First English Haiku Competition. The easy way we worked together probably led to the head of the Foundation calling to offer me this job. At first I wasn’t interested at all; the pay seemed low and the idea of full-time work instead of the lifestyle I enjoyed had no appeal. The chart I made of the job’s pros and cons was heavy on the negative side. But then I woke up the next morning and realised the work would have lasting value and that all I had studied and loved many years ago was coming around again! I felt so blessed! The best thing: I get paid to study anything connected with these two museums, which makes for a broad range of topics in Japanese culture, from art to literature to history, including tea ceremony, architecture, and swords. Most of the time no one is telling me what to do, so I have to figure out what is needed and how to accomplish that myself. This is also the worst thing; there are times I wish someone would tell me what to do, hand me something, and say, here, translate this. Another wonderful thing is this incredibly scenic environment, which people come from all over to enjoy. Worst thing: Having to be here all day every day, and how messy my house is! I use up most of my days off to travel, so I hardly have time to catch up at home or visit with friends—especially since in Yamagata respectable women don’t go out much at night, and I have to try to stay respectable. The uncertainty of being on a yearly contract basis is hard, but I guess a lot of us have to handle that kind of unease these days. Interesting stories: I was never interested in Japanese swords and armory, always skipping those galleries in museums, although I love the craft of iron working and am proud to be claimed as an apprentice by a blacksmith in Oregon I learned from for several summers. When I started working in our history museum my interest in working steel led me deeply into the art of Japanese swords, which we display. One day an award-winning young swordsmith came to visit: he made my heart go pitter pat, and I am sure he’d never imagined he could talk deeply about sword crafting with an American woman. Isn’t real intercultural communication exciting? Issues affecting her as a woman. My first four years in Yamagata I enjoyed what I call the ‘Okusan life.’ I had free time most days to pursue my arts and for community service projects—certainly a luxurious lifestyle! Going to work full time was a huge change for me, and having to get out of the house at 7:30 and not getting back until 7pm meant I fretted a lot over how to make a decent dinner. Knowing we can go out any time I feel I can’t deal with cooking lets me relax with that—and now that I have an income, it’s easy to say “I’ll pay the bill.” But what has really helped me cope is joining the Co-op’s ‘Seikatsu Club,’ a fantastic delivery service. Ordering takes me about
an hour a week but it’s taken a lot of strain off to know I always have high quality ingredients on hand. And my husband has finally learned to set up the rice cooker and even occasionally does his own laundry! Getting up early means getting into my futon early too, so we almost never go to bed at the same time. This troubled me even before I started working, and now I have given up on getting to bed with my husband. He always stays up very late too, so I get up way before him. We have fallen into the common pattern of old married couples here who no longer share a bed, which my Japanese women friends say is just the way it is. This is really frustrating, and if I didn’t love my job so much, and believe it was important work, I would not find life here as fulfilling as I do. Advice: If you are young and your partner is fully supportive of your career, and you have honestly communicated about it, fine, but if not, be very careful. That dream job could be hard for your relationship with a Japanese man, I am sorry to say, especially if he is older than about forty. I do think my work has negatively impacted my marriage. Although I think it’s changing for younger people, many older Japanese men still have huge pride issues around being the provider, and mine doesn’t seem to appreciate that now I can provide for some fun extras. Recommended resources: Since I haven’t gotten to putting up an English version of our web sites yet, let me point you to some entries I’ve had fun writing for Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/ wiki/Mogami_Yoshiaki_Historical_Museum, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yamadera, and http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yamadera_ Basho_Kinnenkan. We’re only three hours from Tokyo on the Yamagata Shinkansen, so come visit! If you say you want a guide in English, I’ll be your guide for as long as you want me. (You can let me know you’re coming with an email via my site, www. HennaGaijin.com.) Other jobs done in Japan: In addition to the translation work and interpretation clients I brought with me to Japan, of course I am often pressed into teaching English and giving talks on various subjects. I think the head of the Foundation who hired me wants me to eventually become some kind of spokesperson, in English, for Yamagata’s culture, so BAB who knows where I’ll end up?
Please help my family find peace.
My name is Lindsay Ann Hawker
I was murdered in March 2007 and buried in a bath of sand on the balcony of Tatsuya Ichihashi’s apartment in Tokyo. Ichihashi escaped from the police and still has not been found. If you have any information that may lead to his arrest, please call the Japanese police on 047-397-0110. There is now a ¥10 milllion reward for information leading to Ichihashi’s arrest. If you know anything, please share it!
MISUNDERSTANDINGS by Parissa Haghirian
Despite the challenges, international women can find great positions in Japanese workplaces. image: iStockphoto.com/Willie B. Thomas
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good friend tells me she is confused about her role in a medium-sized, successful Japanese firm. One the one hand, she is supposed to bring in foreign clients and ease communication between them and her Japanese firm. On the other hand, she is not allowed to make any decisions on her own. Every time she tries to set the rules for her team or comes up with a solution without consulting with them, her Japanese colleagues react negatively. Experiences like this are common for international women working in Japan. I often hear complaints about endless meeting and discussions, unclear responsibility, and weak leadership in the Japanese workplace. Therefore, many of my friends find working in Japanese teams difficult and confusing. They often do not know what their role in a Japanese team or department really is, and whether they are supposed to take a leadership or not. During my career in Japanese organisations I have also experienced challenges in the Japanese workplace. In one case I was assigned a project and assumed that I was supposed to make a project plan, outline the overall goals of the project, and to divide work for my team. This is what I would have done back home and I could not see why project management could be so different in Japan. However, my individual management style led to a lot of trouble and was perceived as pushy, even selfish. Team members complained that I did not call enough meetings and did not inform them about every detail of the project. During these first attempts to work in a Japanese team I felt frustrated a lot, and at a loss. Teams differ in the East and West: Many international women have feelings like this when working in Japan. The reason for these feelings and many misunderstandings are differences in how Japanese teams are formed and work. Often, however, these differences are not obvious. Many of our Japanese colleagues speak English very well, and processes seem very similar at first. So we often assume that a team in Japan is like a Western team, where one person usually is in charge and is also responsible for the result of a project. Within the team, each team member has the responsibility for a certain task. Each team member’s individuality, his or her skills and interest are taken into account when assigning tasks. Team members work more individually and only meet if decisions have to be made. During team meetings informality is stressed and all members should be able to express their opinions. Each team member may have a certain discussion style, but compromises can be worked out and at the end of every meeting a solution for a certain problem is found.
working
CROSS-CULTURAL
A Japanese team, however, works totally differently. First of all, Japanese teams tend to be much larger than Western teams. Apart from its size, a Japanese team also has a different structure. In many Japanese companies, people still work together for a long time—often decades—and not for a certain project. Group membership is very important for Japanese employees; it has a strong impact on their motivations and provides a place of identity. Within the team, membership is more important than tasks, roles and responsibilities are not clearly defined. All members share responsibility, being an expert does not come with a special position. This also means that every decision to be made is a group decision. All team members have to informed, even about the smallest details. Frequent meetings and reports are a must. The meetings have a mostly informative character, and consume a lot of time. Reports are written in a very formal manner and also help to update all people involved in the project. Of course, Japanese teams also have leaders or project managers, but these leaders’ competencies are not as powerful as in the West. A Japanese team leader has more the role of a coordinator than a decision maker. As I described in my last articles, a lot of international women are hired by Japanese firms because they have particular skills or support the internationalisation processes of Japanese companies. They are hired as experts and expect to be treated as such. Being an expert also involves responsibilities and a certain amount of authority. Working in a Japanese team can be quite a challenge: Working in or leading a Japanese team can therefore become quite a challenge. We are used to taking responsibility, making decisions on our own, and not involving other team members as much. We only communicate with other team members if problems need to be solved, not to discuss every detail of our work with them. We like taking leadership and responsibility for projects.
So, how can we work successfully in Japanese teams? Is it better to adapt or to keep our Western management style? I think the best solution is to ‘Japan-ise’ the way we learned to manage back at home and develop a softer, more Asian leadership style. Leadership needs to be more subtle; opinions of team members must always be listened to and considered. We also need to learn that projects take longer in Japan and many more stakeholders are involved. Personal relationships often count more than fact and must not be neglected. Reporting to and informing team members, clients, and superiors plays a major role in Japanese project management. I am often asked whether challenges like these only affect women and whether Japanese employees would rather work with foreign men. I personally do not think that being an international women is a problem when working in a Japanese firm. Problems I described above are based on different understandings of how teams work and what they are supposed to achieve, not on gender perceptions. In many cases, we are perceived as foreigners first, not as females. Seniority and time spent in the firm are more important factors than gender for international women working in a Japanese firm. For Western women a ‘Japan-ised’ work style and finding the balance between East and West when it comes to project management and leadership is always a challenge. But trying to bridge both styles can be quite inspiring and help to improve our management skills and deepen our knowledge of Japan and Japanese management. After all, improving and growing make our lives in BAB Japan so exciting and interesting. Dr. Parissa Haghirian is an associate professor of International Management at the Faculty of Liberal Arts at Sophia University, Tokyo. She is the editor of J-Management; Fresh Perspectives of the Japanese firm in the 21st Century. www.parissahaghirian.com
Being A Broad November 2009
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sports
MIND OVER
MATTER by Alena Eckelmann
Every journey starts with the first step. On the day of my 38th birthday, I made my way to the Hombu Dojo and signed up. For the beginners’ course, that is. To see what aikido training was like. I bought a dogi, the white training wear, on the spot and was all set for my first class the following morning. Getting up at 5am to make it to class at 7am, rain or shine, felt such a drag. However, if I wanted to do ‘the course,’ then unquestionable commitment was called for. No skipping classes, no lame excuses. Usually I did one hour of training and then went straight to work, but occasionally I stayed longer and then I could see them—the crazy ones. They came at 7am and cleaned the whole place before starting their training. Locker rooms, showers, toilets, corridors, the hallway, staircases, and the 150 mats in the training hall were all spotless by 8am. Really, was this what I wanted? Cleaning up after other people? After all, I had come to Tokyo as a business trainee and I was expected to get a highflying position in ‘Japan, Inc.’ I wanted to discuss this matter with Ronen, who himself was a university
deal with the devil—if I managed to cross the marathon’s finish line, I would sign up for the A senshusei course.
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a squad of the Tokyo Riot Police. Ronen, who came from Israel, had just left the army. Now, he was going through Dai Ichi, the cruel first stage of the course when students are whipped into shape, physically and mentally, to make them fit for surviving to the end. Seeming emotionally detached, Ronen gave me a graphic account of the drills and punishments, the bloody dogis and broken bodies. There he was, holding himself tall despite re-occurring injuries. I had never been seriously ill before. Was I willing to put my body on the line? Why did I even dare thinking about it? Me—female, not young anymore, and not the macho type at all—what was I thinking? Was this the first sign of an early mid-life crisis, I wondered? I couldn’t say, but I just knew that this was what I wanted to do.
Senshusei show what they have learned at the annual Yoshinkan Aikido Demo.
graduate. “Get over it,” he snapped at me, “there is no place for pride. The course makes everyone the same, namely at the bottom of the hierarchy.” My training in the beginners’ class did not go anywhere. I simply could not get the hang of it. All of the moves looked so easy and beautiful when the teachers did them, but I could not copy even the simplest steps and I ended up completely frustrated. After one hour I was dog-tired. How was I to follow an intensive course of four hours of training a day, five days a week? Things did not look good at all. I had to do something about it, something to prove to myself that I could indeed do the impossible. The idea came out of nowhere. One day my attention was caught by a poster. It was for the first Tokyo Marathon. Bingo! If I could force myself to run a marathon and finish the damn thing, then I had a chance. The only running I had done by then was from home to the train station in the morning and I only had half a year to make it happen. A deal with the devil—if I managed to cross the marathon’s finish line, I would sign up for the senshusei course. I trained aikido in the morning before work and I ran late in the evening after work. As my running distances got longer, I went from my home in Daikanyama to the Hombu Dojo in Ochiai, and once I managed that, I went there and back. This was 15 kilometres along horrible Yamate Dori. When I proudly told Ronen, he
After nine months of training, Alena sits proudly with her black belt.
put on an icy attitude and said: “The next time you finish your run, I want you to get down on your knees and sit in seiza. It’s essential course preparation; do one hour!” You have got to be joking, I thought to myself, but he did not look as if he was joking at all. There was no word of recognition for my running achievements. “Just do it”, he commanded. Who the heck did he think he was? Thanks a bunch, a nice advisor I got myself there, I thought. Cheating is easy when no one looks. A little shortcut here, a bit of bending of the truth there, but you cannot cheat yourself. So I did as he said. I ran my 15km for the day and then sat down in seiza, like I was—sweaty all over, knees and ankles aching from running on concrete, the clock in front of me. The first 15 minutes were OK. Then the legs went numb and the pain set in and I started counting the minutes. After 30 minutes, tears ran down my face. Were they tears of pain or tears of frustration? I closed my eyes and counted to 100, then back. Not even five minutes had passed. After 40 minutes in seiza I could not take it much longer. Self-pity set in. Why the hell was I doing this to myself ? I got up, regretting it immediately. I had to learn a lesson here. I completed the first Tokyo Marathon in 5hr 54min 17sec. Not the fastest runner, but I made it. I had pushed myself into doing the impossible. “Well done,” Ronen said, matter-of-fact, still not smiling. Gosh, this guy never seemed to smile at all and he always looked so tired, as if he hadn’t slept in ages. Was this his nature or was it the course, I pondered? Once the marathon was done, I signed up for the course, much to the surprise of the assembled crowd of sensei. There was only one month to go and another three things to fix before it all started: one, quit my job; two, get a room near the dojo; and three, cut my long, blond hair short, army-style. When I told him, Ronen shook his head and I saw him smiling for the first time: “Go for it, woman!” On April 3, 2007, the course started, with me in it. After that, there was no way out but BAB through it!
All images provided by Alena Eckelmann.
“
We are called the crazy ones, you know,” Ronen stated, matter-of-factly. He had a poker face that did not give away any of his thoughts. Yet he openly checked me out. “You look strong enough to me, but why do you want to do the course?” he asked, his eyes now piercing me. “Do you have any idea what you are getting into?” Baffled by this interrogation, I was slow to reply. “I read the book,” I said meagerly and in defence. “This doesn’t mean you know anything,” he countered sharply. “I think you are crazy, but I like crazy. I will help you.” Finally, his eyes let go of me. “There is one thing, though, that I ask of you. If you start, you will not quit, no matter what. Do you understand me?” He ended the conversation on his terms. I had found my mentor for the senshusei course, an 11-month aikido boot camp that I was about to sign up for. This course is famous in martial arts circles and features in the book Angry White Pyjamas by Robert Twigger (The Orion Publishing Group, 1997). Students from around the world come to Japan to train together with
TORIIZAKA ART
arts
THE WOMAN BEHIND by Carine Luis
relationships with the galleries. This time, Karen brought back principally oil and lacquer paintings that were more appealing to her. Nevertheless, the learning continued. Some of Karen’s purchases were shipped in tubes and needed to be mounted on stretching frames. Other purchases were shipped already stretched and in crates. However, little did Karen know that, unlike Japanese stretching frames, none of the wood in Vietnam was kiln-dried, and thus the original stretching frames would often shrink, warp, and become bowed in the dry Tokyo winters. The shrinking also caused the canvases to become loose, so many of her purchases had to be re-stretched, even if the frames did not warp. Finally, canvas sizes in Vietnam are very different from Japanese standards, so all of the replacement stretching frames had to be custom made in Japan to fit the art. These issues led to significant and unexpected ‘learning opportunities.’ Developing a web site and maintaining a database to track expenses, costs, revenue, and clients were also new tasks to Karen and led to a different range of challenges. One positive learning experience was the demand for works from outside Japan, which developed as a result of the web site and through word of mouth in the international expatriate community. As a result, Karen has had the opportunity to share the art with buyers throughout the world. While Karen is proud and glad to have done it all, she is relieved to have found great partners in Greg Copeland for crating and displays and Lapi Arts for framing. She also recently hired a Japanese speaker, who is helping with translations, banking, and office support. On her third trip to Vietnam, Karen was very fortunate to meet several artists, which allowed her to start to develop direct personal relationships with the artistic community in Hanoi. While she continues to work with two galleries in Hanoi for certain artists, Karen now works directly with most of the artists she carries. Karen has several of the artists on speed dial and now travels to Vietnam three to five times a year. To a large degree, the Toriizaka Art collection represents Karen’s taste. Getting to know each artist and understand the motivation and thought process that leads to a piece of art has been incredibly rewarding to Karen. She does not hesitate to share with the artists news of who is buying their work in Tokyo and around the world. More often than not, the artists are sharing their private collections with Karen and give her first choice of their paintings as they are completed. When it comes to putting a value on art and its appreciation, Karen is philosophical: “I’ve learned
Karen with some of the work in her gallery. image: Jack Bird.
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t can be a little intimidating to walk into an art gallery, especially one that is in someone’s home. At Toriizaka Art, however, you are met at the door by a petite American woman who will put you at ease and let you wander freely around her house to admire the collection she has accumulated. Her primary goal is to share her passion for art with others and her story begs to be told. Karen Thomas moved to Tokyo in 1992, leaving behind a career in telecommunications. Until 2004, she focused on raising her four sons and volunteering at both ASIJ and several non-profit organisations. Vacations were spent travelling, which led the family to develop an understanding and appreciation of many different cultures and traditions. Collecting contemporary art during their travels was a passion, and Karen’s collection quickly became the envy of many of her friends. A move from Tokyo to Corvallis, Oregon in 2004 was short-lived and presented Karen with an opportunity to reinvent herself. When the decision was made to return to Tokyo in 2005, Karen knew that she wanted to do something different and decided to promote art and artists from Vietnam. A first trip to Vietnam in 2001 with a Tokyo American Club tour had served as an introduction to the Vietnamese art world. Some further research showed that few Vietnamese artists were represented or promoted outside Vietnam, which prompted Karen to set up her own gallery in Tokyo. Karen is quick to admit that this adventure would not have been possible without the support of her husband, Jack Bird. He is her venture capitalist (you can see Karen’s inventory cost on the walls), lighting and photography guru, and web designer, as well as her legal, tax, and accounting advisor. The decision for Toriizaka Art to co-exist in their home was a deliberate one. It gave Karen the flexibility to work yet to be available for her sons when needed. A home business also allowed Karen to continue travelling with her family. Karen learned on the job. On her first buying trip, she went from gallery to gallery, introducing herself and selecting art she thought would sell in Tokyo. She primarily focused on more affordable gouache-on-cheesecloth works. Upon her return, she realised all the pieces needed to be matted and framed to be shown properly. This proved to be difficult, time-consuming, and expensive, but was a necessary first step in learning what was involved in bringing art into the Tokyo market. After Toriizaka Art’s first open house, Karen decided the venture was viable and ready to move forward. A few months later, she returned to Vietnam for a second buying trip and to solidify
something about the business of art promotion but prefer to stay out of the fray. I personally only know what I like and can’t hold myself out as an expert when predicting the future value of a piece of art. If clients choose to buy from me, that’s great, but what is most important is that they develop some knowledge and familiarity with a number of artists and ultimately buy what they really like.” Since starting this venture, Karen’s desire to give back to the community has remained unchanged. As a result, Toriizaka Art has hosted a number of events each year to support worthy causes. In 2008, Toriizaka Art raised over $20,000 for a number of local and international charities. From November 21–29 she is hosting her largest benefit this year, which is designed to support Room to Read, an organisation that builds schools and libraries in developing countries. While a parallel objective of the event is to provide exposure for the paintings of Nguyen Thanh Binh and Dao Hai Phong (who will be attending the opening), Karen knows that a buyer will be rewarded not only with a beautiful piece of art but also with the knowledge that children throughout Vietnam will benefit from Room to Read programs. Please click on the Toriizaka Art website at www.toriizakaart.com to see the complete online exhibition catalogue and for printable maps and directions to the Tokyo American Club, Toriizaka Art, and the ANA Intercontinental Hotel, where the benefit exhibition works will be displayed. For more information, please email info@ toriizakaart.com or call 03-3586-9320 or 080BAB 3006-2447. Being A Broad November 2009
21
mothers
MONTESSORI by Gaby Sheldon
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Image provided by Jenny Vyvial.
TREEHOUSE
Treehouse Montessori Head Jenny Vyvial.
orty-eight-year-old Jenny Aimi Vyvial is the head of Treehouse Montessori School in Yokohama. Though born and raised here in Japan, she says, “[I was] never brought up as a true Japanese. My father was Chinese (from Shanghai), but loved Japan. He was keen to raise me in an international culture/society that ensured I would grow up to be open-minded.” Now married with 2 daughters, aged 16 and 17, Jenny was gracious enough to take the time to chat with Gaby about running an innovative school for international children. How did you get your current job and how long have you held this position? I was asked by a friend of mine to become her business partner in opening an international kindergarten/preschool in Yokohama nearly ten years ago. She had been running two schools in Tokyo already and was considering expanding her business into greater Tokyo. Yokohama, at the time, did not offer many options for families with young children as there were a limited number of international schools situated in the area. There were no proper institutions that were able to accommodate the needs of children from 18 months onwards, thus most mothers had no choice but to remain at home with their children or set up their own play groups. As a mother of two, I had found it difficult to find a daycare service or school that would accommodate my daughters who were only 15 months apart. I began to wish for a school that provided quality education focusing on the holistic growth of the children in a safe and secure environment. My school was established in March 2001 in a warm, cozy house in a quiet residential area in Honmoku, Yokohama. What do you like most about your job? I am very fortunate to be a part of the children’s most important and vital years of their lives, which in Montessori are referred to as critical years of a child’s life. Though this is typically between the ages of zero to six, my school starts at one. Children are born with amazing potential and possibilities that adults often overlook easily or even destroy, as they are not carefully observing their own children. I am able to witness some of the miracles that children create daily at school and I am constantly overwhelmed by what these children can do without our help. Every day I am encountering phenomena that are beyond my imagination and expectations. What do you find most challenging about your job? At my school, the Montessori Method of Education is the foundation of our education. We are able to follow the children and observe them well so that we can help them accomplish everything on their own. It is not an easy task, as adults tend to control children and give rules they must abide by. Every day,
as Montessorians, we are challenged to understand the varying degrees of each child’s needs and wants. Our role is to carefully observe the children and guide them along the correct path. Therefore, the classroom must hold an atmosphere of spontaneity, joy, and purpose. Teachers who constantly reach out to the children in order to arouse a response in them are very important. Trusting the child’s ability and showing them the utmost respect is something I always like to keep in mind. Could you explain to our readers what Montessori is and whether it is practised differently in Japan compared to other countries? The Montessori Method of Education is a method developed by a female Italian doctor a little over 100 years ago in Italy. Her name was Maria Montessori, which is where the name of this education system came from. Her principles and techniques are based on careful observations of human beings— the children. The Montessori Method of Education initially began from the careful study of children with special needs, which she then decided to apply to all children, regardless of their needs. Montessori education possesses special characteristics often considered unique. Mixed age-group classroom settings is one example, and another is that one child would normally stay in one class with the same teacher for a three-year span. In a mixed age group setting, older children play a role in guiding, inspiring and protecting the younger ones. The Montessori Method of Education is universal, and no matter where you are in the world, the philosophy and the technique should be the same. What are the challenges of being a working mom in Japan—and what are the benefits? Prior to studying Montessori education, I wasn’t aware of the hidden potential that children possess and that when placed in the right setting (in Montessori terms, we call this a prepared environment), children can excel in many areas and live their lives to the fullest, released from tension and stress. I began to apply this philosophy for myself by successfully juggling tasks as Head of School, mother to my two daughters, and wife to my husband. I am fortunate to have a very healthy family and a house to come home to at the end of a day of hard work. My family is the backbone of my life and the reason for living everyday life to the fullest. Being a working mom has made me a wellrounded and balanced individual. What advice could you pass onto expat moms who are thinking about returning to work? Although I am an expat’s wife, I have had the privilege of opening up my own school and establishing a company in a country where I was born and raised. Before marrying my husband, I had the opportunity to work for an American business consulting firm
and a Japanese TV production company, where I was able to learn how business works in two different cultures. After marrying my husband, who is Czech but raised in Germany, and raising my own two daughters in Japan, I believe that all my past experiences, and my current identity shaped from the past, are the reasons for my success today. My history is who I am today and that led me to open a school where children come from different countries and from diverse backgrounds. When you are considering going back to work, remember it is not so easy to find that one dream job, but if you follow your instincts and have faith in yourself, you will know that you are following the right path. If you had to leave Japan tomorrow, what would you miss the most? The safety and security of the whole country...and, of course, the people. Why haven’t you opened a school in Tokyo, which has a larger international community, and instead decided to stay in Yokohama? Every time people ask me that question, I always answer: “Simply because I love Yokohama.” Yokohama is a great place to raise a family. There is more nature and space and it is definitely more family-oriented than Tokyo is (some people may disagree with this, though). The environment is unbeatable. The house that my school is set in is a Western-style structure built for expats. Perhaps for this reason, it has a garden big enough for the children to use as their outdoor play area. The main part of the playground is covered with an artificial turf to improve safety for the children. It is set in a quiet residential area and the access from the main road is easy. I have created a very home-like environment for the children to feel comfortable and at ease. It would be very difficult to have similar standards in Tokyo. Furthermore, Yokohama is unique in its own way as, historically, it was the primary entry port for foreigners and somebody like me who was born and raised here knows more about this city and its dynamics than I would know about similar aspects in Tokyo. BAB For more information on Treehouse Montessori, tel. 045-622-5804, visit www.tms-school. com, or email: jenny@tms-school.com.
THE SLING by Alena Eckelmann
Alena: What is your experience of using baby slings? Grace: When I was pregnant I decided to get a sling as I thought I’d like to carry my baby as much as possible. I spoke to my friends about what slings they liked and I did a lot of internet research into the various types of sling available. I use my sling every day. If I take Danjuro out in the pushchair I usually end up carrying him in the sling anyway and pushing the pushchair, because he wants to be carried. So I often find it easier to just take him out in the sling. It’s great for getting around Tokyo on the trains and for going shopping, as my
Danjuro out shopping with Grace. All images provided by Grace Kishino.
T
okyo can be difficult for those who are out and about with small children. Crowded trains with no space for a pushchair and people hastily rushing past each other at stations; busy and noisy streets with not enough space to swing a cat; claustrophobic shopping malls and department stores where the packed lifts never stop at your floor. People are pushing ahead without taking much notice of a mother who struggles to carry her child in a pram up a long flight of stairs, much less give a helping hand. So, what do you do if you need to go shopping with your baby in tow?
mothers
THE THING WITH
I found that the more I carried Danjuro when he was a baby, the happier he seemed to be. Basically, Grace Kishino, a British mother, has discovered the benefits of using a baby sling to carry her child. She believes in the slings so much that she is now promoting them. I talked to her about her experiences using a baby sling and about her baby sling business. Alena: Please tell BAB readers a bit about yourself. Grace: I first came to Japan in 2002 to study Aikido. I only intended on being here for a year, but after getting over the initial culture shock, I liked it so much that I ended up staying. I got married in 2007 to my husband Tomo, a Japanese man who was a fellow student at the Aikido dojo. We had our first son, Danjuro, last year. I am now working part-time from home as a web developer and Tomo is a house-husband.
Danjuro out exploring with his dad.
hands are free and I don’t have to worry about there not being escalators or lifts everywhere. Dan likes the sling too. When I put it on he starts pulling at the ends and puts his hands up, asking to be put in it. I have also used my sling to take Danjuro abroad a number of times. It was great in the airport as Dan felt relaxed being close to me and I could get on with going through immigration. Once we were abroad, I think being carried in the sling helped him feel safe in a strange place. Basically, I found that the more I carried Danjuro when he was a baby, the happier he seemed to be. I sent a sling to my sister in the UK after she had her second child. She didn’t use a sling with her first child and she didn’t seem too enthusiastic about using one. When I called her a week later, she said “I’m so happy! It’s changed my life!” Being able to carry her newborn around with her hands free meant that she could look after her older son much more easily and also keep her newborn happy. Alena: How did you get the idea of making baby slings into a business? Grace: I thought up selling baby slings as a way to be more flexible and in control of my work so that I can spend as much time with my family as possible. Also, as I don’t have a background in the sales profession I thought I could only sell something that I genuinely thought was worth buying! Setting up the website wasn’t too hard and it didn’t cost me anything. My usual work is website development, hence I could create it myself. I also want to keep the business as ecological as possible. By being online we are reducing paper usage and the need for a shop. We also use minimal packaging to reduce waste. I am hoping to sell more to Japanese mothers and I think that this will be a challenge as I haven’t seen many mothers here using a wraparound sling. My husband is helping me translate the website into Japanese, so this is the first step—to promote the slings to Japanese women.
Alena: So, what exactly is your baby sling product? Grace: At the moment I am just selling the huga-bub® wraparound baby sling as this is the one I found best for me and my baby. The reason I decided to sell hug-a-bub® baby slings rather than anything else is that my family liked my huga-bub® so much and found it so useful that I want to introduce them to as many people as possible. The hug-a-bub® supports baby’s neck and spine and it provides a perfect load distribution for parents. It can easily be washed in the washing machine and it dries very quickly. It folds up really small and is so light. Therefore, it is easy to carry around in a bag. Each huga-bub® also comes with a step-by-step DVD that shows the simple tying method and various positions available. Alena: What are your plans for the future? Grace: I am going to keep using my sling as long as Danjuro wants to be carried. I am also looking forward to using it with more children if I have them! If the website goes well I am planning to add more baby slings and other baby products or to use the online shop model to expand in BAB another area. A baby sling is an ideal holiday present for family members or friends with babies. Conveniently ordered online, it will be delivered to your door step. Please find Grace’s website here: www. twigtea.com/grace/hugabub/contents/ home (in English and in Japanese). Grace will give a ¥500 discount on all slings if you mention BAB when ordering. You can also try out the product before buying.
Being A Broad November 2009
23
real-life story
image: provided by Sorcha Chisholm
24
TALES OF A
Sorcha, dressed as a witch...of course!
TOKYO WITCH by Sorcha Chisholm A
t the time of writing the moon is full. It is now autumn, harvest time—for some Thanksgiving is coming up and we are reminded of the Earth’s gifts and the power of life, growth, death, and renewal. The full moon is a time of fulfillment, peak performance, and heightened psychic awareness. We all have the power to tune into these energies and harvest our full potential. Some people make it their business to work with the Earth’s natural cycles and to consciously manifest their desires. These people are called witches. I am a witch. I co-create my life and its trajectory with the forces that exist around me and within me. That may sound like being a Jedi Knight, which it is in many ways! There are many misconceptions about witchcraft. Namely that witches worship some malignant devil and that they ride around on broomsticks. This perception is thanks to the highly successful smear campaign of the medieval church that was more or less an attack on women and their innate knowledge. Those who healed with herbs or studied the stars and celebrated seasonal festivals were branded agents of evil and enemies of God. The Inquisition of the Middle Ages in Europe systematically killed thousands of people because of this wave of fear and superstition. In recent years, witchcraft has re-emerged as a very popular alternative to mainstream religion. It is essentially a Nature-based religion that does not subscribe to any one particular god or sacred text. There are many disciplines of witchcraft that one may study, though individuals may choose to combine practices to suit their needs. The word ‘witch’ is derived from the old Anglo Saxon word ‘wicce,’ which means: ‘to bend.’ A witch (male or female) is someone who is able to bend and shape their world in order to make their desires manifest. It is to channel energy in order to heal, find love, and attract wealth, or to change one’s luck, among other things. A witch is a person who is in tune with the cyclical flows of Nature. They study the moon, the seasons, and the rhythms of life. In doing so they discover the most opportune times to make life changes. They draw knowledge from various sources and maintain a close relationship to the Divine. For 13 years I have practiced witchcraft as a means for living the Divine. It colours my thoughts, actions, and interactions and it is infinitely rewarding as a means for staying sane in crazy-busy Tokyo. I meditate, make spells, read oracles, and practice ritual. Living in Tokyo has forced me to adapt to a busier, more urban landscape in which to work as a witch. It’s often very difficult to focus as there are so many things vying for my attention, and making the time to do the Work can be a challenge in the
midst of working for money and maintaining good connections with people in both my personal and professional fields. Some of my closest friends are aware of my background, and the rest will probably have their suspicions confirmed upon reading this article! It’s taken me some time to ‘come out of the broom closet,’ so to speak, but in Tokyo’s frenetic atmosphere, where life seems to be simply for the squeezing, I would like to share with others what being a witch means and how it can enrich daily life. In other countries it is often met with curiosity, disdain, or fear. In my own home country, Australia, witchcraft, or ‘paganism’ as it’s also known, is an emerging alternative to conservative religion. However, it is still in the minority. Fortunately for me, the Japanese people have a real ‘live and let live’ attitude that reflects their religious syncretism. In other words, they incorporate elements of two religions (Buddhism and Shinto) into their world-view, thus remaining very tolerant to all religions. In fact, paganism is quite akin to the native religion of Japan, Shinto. In a previous article I wrote for BAB I introduced three goddesses of the Shinto religion: Amaterasu, the sun goddess, Uzume, goddess of mirth, and Benzaiten, goddess of love and music. Likewise, witches acknowledge and celebrate many gods and goddesses from all world pantheons and often call upon their assistance during workings. Shinto asserts that in Nature there exists kami or spirit energy. In Miyazaki Hayao’s animated film Princess Mononoke, the wild girl Mononoke lives in the forest with numerous nature spirits such as the deer god and the wolf god. In the story she battles the weapons factory nearby that threatens the life of the forest. Pagans also acknowledge the importance of Nature in that it is where we derive our sustenance, both spiritually and physically. The best way to stay in touch with Nature is to observe Her cycles (I refer to Nature as a ‘She’ as the Earth is also known as ‘Gaia, Mother of All’). Japan has four very distinct seasons and the Japanese certainly know how to honour them with all manner of ceremony and decoration! Hanami (cherry blossom viewing parties) in spring and leaf viewings in autumn are just two examples. Witches, too, acknowledge the turning of the seasons and celebrate them appropriately. Recently, witches around the world celebrated Samhain (pronounced “Sow-wen”) or, as it is commonly known, Halloween. Halloween is probably the most well-known of the witches’ festivals, and it is interesting to note its origins. Halloween, or All Hallows Eve, used to be the Celtic New Year, when people harvested their crops and slaughtered their animals to survive the coldest months ahead. October 31 was said to be
when the veils between worlds was thinnest and the deceased would return to Earth and cause trouble such as sickness or damage to crops. People would place skulls in the window and dress up in costumes in order to scare these spirits away. This tradition of dressing up and making jack o’ lanterns continues today. To modern witches, Halloween/Samhain is a time of reflection, ‘taking in the harvest’ of one’s achievements, and honouring those who have passed on. The Japanese also have a similar festival, though it takes place in mid-August. The Buddhist festival of Obon is when people visit their families and welcome the spirits of their deceased family members back to their homes for the week. Before Christianity became the norm, early civilisations throughout Europe were more in touch with the cycles of the land and how Nature featured in their lives. The Wheel of the Year is Celtic in origin, but is now used by pagans all over the world to help sync them with the vibrations of the planet. Each festival marks the turning of the Earth around the sun and the subtle shifts that take place culturally and personally. In Japan, the equinoxes (upon which four of the eight festivals fall) are also honoured and are traditionally a time to visit family graves and reflect on life. The moon is also a key element of a witches’ calendar. The moon goes through eight phases, though for simplicity’s sake it is easier to acknowledge the four main phases: New, Waxing, Full, and Waning. Each cycle represents the natural life rhythms of life, growth, death, and renewal. In many cultures, the moon is associated with women. The moon’s phases of Waxing, Full, and Waning are likened to that of a woman’s life in that she is a Maiden, a Mother, and a Crone respectively. The fact that a woman’s menstrual cycle is roughly the same length as a moon cycle has for centuries been a topic of fascination and, unfortunately, superstition. This November 26 is Thanksgiving, when the moon will be waxing. As well as attracting the company of friends and family (and a whole lot of food) why not put into action some plans you’ve been thinking about and try a little witchcraft for yourself? BAB You may even want to wiggle your nose!
O F LOVE
by Laura Marushima
Image provided by Laura Marushima.
Laura and Shumpei just after meeting for the first time.
student. He worked as a computer engineer for a company on the other side of Tokyo. I could tell he was shy but we got to talking and hit it off right away (much to Douglas’ dismay). I really liked him but I was not prepared to ask him for his number and he was way too shy to ask for mine, though copious amounts of alcohol were consumed and we did spend the night kissing and chatting. I figured I wouldn’t see him again, but as fate would have it, several days later the friend that had hosted the little get-together asked me if he could pass on my keitai details to Shumpei, who had asked for them. It was such a strange coincidence, as I had been thinking about him since that night, couldn’t get him out of my head, and had decided that day I was going to go against all that I believed in and ask our mutual friend for his details. We mailed back and forth (the way modern romances seem to go!) and while he had plans the following Saturday night, we made plans to meet up later for a drink. I knew I was heading back to Australia very soon, and he knew that, too, but we still couldn’t seem to stop the budding romance. The second time we met he asked me to marry him and told me it had been love at first sight. (I maintain, even now, that it was probably more lust at first sight than anything!) Of course, when he asked me to marry him I thought I had misheard the Japanese and asked him to repeat it and then when I was sure I was hearing him right I laughed in his face and said “no way, I don’t plan to get married till I am at least 30 and I doubt the person I marry will be Japanese.” I have never let him forget that night. We were inseparable, though, and those last six weeks I was in Japan were a crazy flurry of dates, purikura, and late-night chats, but I was adamant that I did not want to carry on a longdistance relationship when I went back to Australia. My departure date came closer and closer and he even took some time off work the last couple
Laura and Shumpei during their wedding.
image: Sylvie from Papillion Studio (Brisbane).
I
came to Japan soon after my 19th birthday to study abroad for the year. Studying Japanese had been the first unexpected step in my university career and studying abroad had been another. I had come out of a relatively serious relationship (as serious as a teenage romance can be) and was slightly broken-hearted, but ready to take on the year in Japan and the challenges it would bring my way. My Japanese was minimal at best when I arrived, but it soon improved and I quickly learnt how to mix with the locals, making many new friends and the occasional boyfriend, but mainly I was just enjoying my newfound freedom. It was the first time I had lived away from home and the independence was amazing. Finding long-term love had never been on the agenda as I had big plans of graduating university and finding an amazing job in Australia, and while I loved Japan and figured I would be back one day, I never thought it would be because of love. Fast-forward to six weeks before my year abroad was scheduled to end—I got a call from a Japanese guy who lived in my dorm, asking me to pick up some drinking essentials from the conbini on my way home, as he had heard I was still out on the town. He was having a bit of a get-together with his old classmates who had already graduated from university and most of them had missed the last trains back to their homes, so they were continuing the mini party in our dorm. I delivered the goods and the friend told me to sit and have a drink. I took a look around the room and thought ‘why not?’ as a couple of the other exchange students were already chatting away with his friends. My eyes settled on this one guy who I thought was pretty cute and I thought getting to know him might be fun, especially when my gay friend Douglas (also an exchange student) said he had his eye on him too and we thought it would be interesting to see which of us he ended up finding more charming! Shumpei had graduated less than a year ago from the same university where I was an exchange
of days I was here so that we could spend time together and so that he could drive me to the airport to say goodbye. In the end we found we couldn’t say goodbye, that we couldn’t end what we had. But I honestly thought once I was back in Australia it would fizzle out, as most long-distance love affairs do—I remember telling myself to be realistic. Needless to say we ended up carrying on a long-distance relationship and he visited in Australia several times during my final year at university in Australia—he spoke not a word of English and my Japanese at that stage was still not that crash hot— but we made it work. Against all odds I returned to Japan ten months later, lived with his family until I found my own place, and just a couple of months after that he moved in with me. In late February 2008 we decided to get married. We were heading to Australia later in the year to stay for 12 months (his work kindly gave him a year-long leave) and wanted to get married there. Before I left Japan (I went ahead of him, two months earlier) friends threw us a surprise engagement party in which he officially proposed. We finally tied the knot in Australia on May 9 of this year in a garden wedding, surrounded by friends and family—we were so lucky in that almost half the guests at the wedding had travelled from interstate and abroad to be there. I never thought that night when I stopped at the conbini to pick up some things for a friend that I would be meeting the man I was going to marry, or that he would be Japanese. It just goes to show that love really can work in mysterious and unexpected ways. We have come a long way since that night I told him I wouldn’t be getting married till I was at least 30! I was 24 (4.5 years after we met) when we tied the knot and we are now back in Japan, living in Chiba, and BAB expecting our first baby in December. Being A Broad November 2009
she found love in Japan
AN EXCHANGE
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FOOD & DINING:
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Being A Broad November 2009
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GUIDE TO INTERNATIONAL
SCHOOLS
IN JAPAN
“Offers the most in-depth account of Japanese international schools available.”
— American father living in Japan By number-one bestselling author Caroline Pover, the guide features six pages of detailed research on over a hundred schools, complemented by photographs. This is an essential resource for expatriate parents, bicultural families, internationally-minded Japanese parents, teachers in Japan, and those thinking of setting up their own school here. 692 pages retailing at ¥5,000. Read about:
age, gender mix, student nationality • class & school size • history, goals, ethos, curriculum facilities, hours, semesters, vacations • key staff backgrounds & qualifications • awards & recognitions languages taught & language of instruction • services for bicultural children special needs & gifted child programs • level & placement tests held • religious affiliations lunch policies • disciplinary procedures • sex education • school buses & parking • security homework • trips & special events • extracurricular, after-school, & summer programs expected parental involvement • alumni activities • fees, discounts, & scholarships application procedures & acceptance criteria
www.internationalschoolsguidebook.com
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ART & PHOTOGRAPHY:
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HEWETT ART
www.davidstanleyhewett.com
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Being A Broad November 2009