August 2014 Issue by AngelicMagazine

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A t this time last year, Angelic Magazine was preparing to launch our debut print issue for September 2013. The goal was to create a Jesus magazine that intertwined music and fashion. The goal was to not purposely be different than anything else that was out there, but just fearlessly by ourselves. I remember not being certain how this year would go last August. I remember not being certain if Angelic would still be standing today. But over the course of this year, God has proven Himself faithful to me in a dynamic of ways and He's stretched my faith in Him to the extent that anytime He now asks me or the magazine to come to Him out on the water, I'm willing and ready to respond to the call He's given. The more God continues to stretch my faith, the more dynamic of a tool Angelic Magazine is becoming.

I'm responsible for the direction of the magazine, who and what we feature, which cities we go in and how we're going to do it. I'm inspired. Inspired to be relentless. Inspired to do the impossible and I'm inspired by the results Angelic has seen in year one of our existence. We've had over 70,000 reads to our issues this year. People from San Diego, Phoenix and Las Vegas have shared their testimonies, shared their gifts for God in our magazine and I feel an uprising is on the horizon. Angelic Magazine is a part of an uprising of passionate and creative, spirit led people who's only goal is to use the talents God has given them to declare His name. Next month we're welcoming Los Angeles to our magazine to go along with the other cities we feature. The southwest of the United States is about to be hit with Jesus. Music. Fashion. and I eagerly await to see how God is going to use us.

A UGUST 2014

LEXI ZETTLE ACTRESS SPOTLIGHT

MUSIC FEATURE: MARLENA COPADO

MUSIC FEATURE: MATTHEW GARTRELL

ASHLEY MADDOX PHOTOGRAPHER FEATURE

LAS VEGAS FASHION BLOGGER: MARISELA

VERSE 14 MINISTRY TESTIMONIES

21 R. H. SEED & STEMS FROM LOVE SPOTLIGHT 23

OVERCOMING DOUBT

WENDELL ESPERANZA TESTIMONY

HEATHER CAWLEY MODEL FEATURE

MATTHEW 4:4 JESUS

ANSWERED, "MAN SHALL NOT LIVE ON BREAD ALONE, BUT ON EVERY WORD THAT COMES FROM THE MOUTH OF GOD. "

WWW.ANGELICMAG. COM INFO@ANGELICMAG. COM @ANGELICMAGAZINE

By Angelic Magazine met Lexi Zettle two summers ago for a photo-shoot collaboration. During that time we met, she told me that in a few weeks she'd be moving to New York City to run after her dreams. Lexi was cool. She was polite, friendly and had an easy going nature to herself. There was a kind humility to her, the kind of humility that would take her places in life. Two years have passed and Lexi did move to New York City. Upon a return visit home to Phoenix, AZ, an impromptu collaboration between Angelic Magazine and Lexi Zettle occurred and she shared about her faith in Jesus and the path towards her dreams.

Angelic: Why do you choose Jesus? Zettle: I refuse to believe that I was put on earth just to simply be here. I think every single person is created in God's image and is here for a greater purpose. It's up to us to discover that purpose. I choose Jesus because He chose me, despite me not deserving it. That's the beauty of grace: No matter how many times you mess up, no matter how "bad" of a person you are, Jesus still waits for you with arms wide open. By His grace I am set free. Asking for Jesus into your heart brings life into your bones. It revives you and gives so much more meaning to life.

Angelic: What's it like acting in NY? Zettle: I've been told dozens of times, "You gotta be one in a million. There's a very small percentage of actors who actually make it in the industry." But you know what there's an even smaller percentage of? People who actually pursue their dreams. Moving far away from my family and friends, living in a big city, couch surfing, waiting to audition and not feeling pretty or talented enough, it's scary and intimidating and lonely in New York, but I'm enjoying the struggle because it's part of my journey. And like a friend once told me, it's not until you're outside your comfort zone that you truly start living. Angelic: How does your faith influence you in your career? Zettle: My faith keeps me grounded and focused on what really matters. The entertainment industry can be very cruel and cutthroat but I always try to treat people with love and respect because that's how God treats me. I walk with Jesus but my relationship with Him requires work, just like any other relationship. When I allow myself to be influenced by Him, I become more and more beautiful, with a light shining from the inside out. I think that reflects in my

work, in the characters I portray. God teaches unforced rhythms of grace and how to live life freely and lightly. Angelic: What do you hope to accomplish career wise in the next 5 years? Zettle: I hope to book a series regular role on a TV show that my grandma can watch every week and to be traveling around the world shooting films and experiencing different cultures. I hope to earn opportunities to play versatile, deep characters and to be proud of my work. I want to be a part of meaningful projects and move people. I am open to whatever God has in store for me though. Life is an adventure, full of wonder and pain and love. Not knowing what comes next is part of the thrill. I don't know what the future holds, but I know who holds it. There's comfort in that. Angelic: To someone who doesn't know Jesus, what would you want them to know about Him? Zettle: Life knowing Him is better than you could ever imagine. Allowing Him to love you is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself and you deserve that love even if you don't feel worthy of it. We all go through times where we hate ourselves. Everyone wants to feel accepted and to be good enough. In God's eyes you already are.

W hen I was fifteen years old my mother had cancer, but my dad died instead. My dad was my

best friend and losing him was extremely difficult. I was crushed, and with a bipolar mom, things were pretty unstable in the house. It became a pretty dangerous environment for a fifteen year old to grow up in in the music scene. I was in a band at the time and was touring when my stage manager introduced me to cocaine. I overdosed twice on purpose. I didn’t want to be here anymore. I felt completely alone and abandoned. I was on the floor somewhere and I cried out to God. I said, “If you are real or existing in any way, then you need to step in. Because I’m gong to destroy myself.” I was on the surf team at the time in high school and the big thing was FCA (Fellowship of Christian Athletes), and a friend on the team, the “Christian girl,” asked me if I wanted to come to a camp with her youth group from Daybreak Church, called Forest Home. I decided to accept the invite and went. I thought, “What do I have to lose?” When I was there, I experienced people and love in a different way. For the first time since my dad had died I felt like a weight had been removed from my chest. During worship the second night, everyone in the room started singing, “Here I am to worship, here I am to bow down. Here I am to say that You’re my God.” I fell to my knees and started weeping. Tears rolled down my face and I truly felt love for the very first time the way I was meant to. I was completely done with myself and the way I had been living up to that point. I said, “God, take me.” When worship was finished, I was a wreck. I walked outside and sat on the wall adjacent to the main building we were in. My leader from camp followed me outside and sat next to me. She prayed with me and I accepted Christ into my heart and life right there.

I can look back now and know that I made that decision to save my life, and to this day it was the best decision I have ever made. I remember being to afraid to go home. I didn’t know what life would be like now. I asked God what there could be back at home for me now. When I did get home, I disposed of every drug and alcohol I had. I knew I could not be the same person anymore. I had to engage in Christ and not all the other things I was going to that gave me my identity. Music was no longer my identity. What people had to say or think of me was no longer my identity. Christ was now everything that mattered in my life. My mother, who had cancer is alive and in remission today. Our relationship has been restored in a way only Jesus could have restored. I now am blessed to do what I love and use the talents and gifts God has given me for His tangible Kingdom. I am currently the worship director at my church, Daybreak: The church I went to camp with as broken teenager. I am gearing up to do my first worship album and couldn’t’ have written a better story for my life than the one God has and is still writing for me.

Why do you choose to do music?

I feel more like music chose me. From a young age I was not into sports or anything that young boys were “suppose” to be into. I have always had a passion for music and arts. It was hard growing up and having all my friends be so active, and I just felt like I did not fit in. Yet, God had a plan for my life. My father was a worship leader and I use to secretly have worship concerts in my room. With the music blasting and a brush as a mic, I pictured being in arenas leading people into His presence. Then the worst thing that could happen to a young man, happened to me. I lost my father to cancer when I was just 16 years old. The night he passed we all were crowded in his bedroom saying our goodbyes and I love you's. The moment my father took his last breathe, I did not know what to do. I got up from the bed, went into my room and I What are your goals with music? To teach, lead, and live worship to the worshiped. I cried out to God and just allowed the nations. God has placed it on my heart to music to soothe my soul. It was in that moments that I take this powerful weapon of music and heard God so clearly say, “I have called you to teach, lead, and live worship to the nations.” From that worship all across the globe. moment on, my life was never the same.

You and your wife are a part of the same music ministry team. How has music influenced your relationship between you and her?

I love how we both have this passion for music and how we are both apart of such an amazing family at CFTN. On a personal note, there is not a day that goes by that we are not singing and or playing songs in our house. I believe our voices are weapons of warfare. For example, I am being healed from a stomach disorder that has caused me much pain and suffering. My wife softly sings over me and the moment she began, a peace would come over my body. My pain would begin to cease and I would be able to peacefully fall asleep.

What are your thoughts on secular vs. nonsecular music?

It is of the devil, only kidding. I believe that you should guard your ears and heart. Anything can become an idol; you have to choose what you are going to worship. I enjoy so many secular songs, but I know when my soul is dry and longing for more. You have to really watch what you feed your spirit. Sometimes I put my iPod on shuffle and songs will pop up from my “crazy days” and my ears burn! I am shocked at what I allowed into my spirit, but my life reflected that which I allowed in.

ver since I was a little girl I can remember sensing that the Lord was near. I may not have understood His glory, but I could feel his protection over my life and the closeness of His spirit. I don’t have a specific moment in memory of being radically aware of God’s sudden dwelling in my heart, but instead a soft and sweet awakening as if being slowly stirred from a deep sleep. Having been raised in and out of the church I came to know Jesus in a long graduated relationship of soft and sweet introductions that transitioned to deeper understandings of His power and grace beyond feelings and without dependence on circumstance. Apart from His word and the church, He is currently revealing Himself to me in three major ways. One is through the beauty of community. For the first time in my life I’m really beginning to understand the renewing power that a godly community can have in your life. It’s amazing to be understood, loved and challenged by people who live out life with you, and despite how different you may be, share the love of Christ. I’ve learned to be vulnerable; to cry in front of friends when hurt is real and in turn have been blessed by the healing comfort and encouragement of this community. The second is through identity. Over the last few years I’ve been challenged to evaluate what I put my hope in and what I believe to be true. The past two years have included some of the biggest trials and disappointments in my life as well as some of the greatest times of growth. Walking through these little fires with Him has made me a much more thankful person, teaching me the difference between good gifts and empty idols.

The third way Jesus is currently revealing himself to me is through marriage. Two months ago I married my best friend. In our three years of dating I watched as God refined both of us through our relationship with Him and each other. A lot of times that meant deep gravely pain, being spiritually laid bare before one another and learning to continue to walk by faith in Him. Because of those difficulties, our marriage thus far has been a joyous celebration of what God has done and continues to do in our life. Our expectations are continually laid before His throne and in turn we’re enjoying the fruits of intimacy only a marriage relationship can bring. I’ve learned to appreciate that my “conversion story” was not one marked by sudden change, because much of the Christian journey is an ongoing story of grueling transformation and this fact is like balm to my soul, knowing that I’m being made less like me and more like Him.

PHOTOGRAPHER: ASHLEY B EAUDIN MADDOX - MODEL: CATHERINE MONTGOMERY MAKEUP: ARIELLE RONDEAU

WHAT ARE YOUR FASHION TIPS FOR THE MONTH OF A UGUST? August can be a real challenge in Nevada. It's the hottest month of the year and comfort really is key. My fashion do's for August are breathable fabrics and easy to wear pieces, like a breezy playsuit or a cotton maxi skir/dress. Look for pieces that have something original to them, like bright print or asymmetrical accents. WHAT IS YOUR QUINTESSENTIAL

OUTFIT FOR A NIGHT OUT ON THE

TOWN THIS MONTH?

Living in Vegas, I think women feel the pressure to go all out and wear the hottest dress in their closet. I say take a step back and go for something a little more understated and unexpected. Denim is always a good idea. Take them to an evening look by adding a blazer or vest and just pairing it with a bralette underneath. Or go with a boyfriend jean with a nice fit and blouse crop top with a sassy shoe. This is sure to make you stand out.

WHAT MAKES YOUR BLOG UNIQUE FROM OTHER FASHION BLOGS? Blogging is my hobby, It's not how I make my living. I am not trying to sell my readers on anything. I just want to inspire them to try new things & change the way they feel about our outer image all together.

KATIE MAY M

VERSE 14 MINISTRY FLAGSTAFF, AZ AGE: 21

y name is Katie and I was raised in a Christian home. My parents were an incredible example of what a Christian should look like; loving, serving, and honoring the Lord as well as each other. I fully accepted Jesus as my Savior at a camp when I was in seventh grade. Though I was raised knowing God’s love for me, this was when I finally understood the Gospel as a personal and intimate relationship with God. He sent His Son to die for an unworthy sinner like me. I had never felt more loved. From there I continued to try and live a life that honored God. Before I was born, my dad developed a lung disease and had a heart and lung transplant. After his transplant he was given a year to live. He surpassed that by twenty-five years, and in my senior year of high school, he got sick again and passed away. During this time, I never doubted God because He seemed like the only true thing I could cling to. I wept and worshipped daily. Through this tough and emotional rollercoaster I learned what it was like to feel so much grief and so much joy at the same time. I wasn’t happy, but the Holy Spirit gave me consistent joy and contentment. God provided for my family so immensely. I still can’t comprehend how I made it through. All I can point to is God. As I started college, I gained more independence than the average freshman since I knew my dad was not there as a foundation to fall back on. I spent a year or two trying to “find” myself in some ways, unaware that I was absolutely already whole- emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. I invested a lot of time in friends who didn’t have the same morals as me. These friends were great people, but they were not able to encourage me or love me in the ways that someone could who knows Jesus’ love. I was desperate for God, but instead of distancing myself from their “party scene” I joined in. I let these people’s opinions, good and bad, define me. The deeper in my sin I was, the more empty and convicted I felt.

I remembered and looked back on the times I felt God’s love so deeply through my first little high school heartbreak, and when my dad died. I finally began to draw near to God again, going to church because I was thirsty for the Word and community, not because I “should”. I lost friends and some trust in people, which made me feel extremely lonely. Through this time though, I realized how satisfied I was. I was absolutely content because God was faithful. He showed me He never left me and loved me, does love me, and will love me, no matter how deep my sin or insecurity. I didn’t have a party to go to and I didn’t have good friends to hang out with on Friday nights, but I was so much more content than I had been in a long time. For once I felt like Jesus was all I had, but all I needed. Sometimes life throws trouble at us, and sometimes we intentionally throw ourselves into trouble. Through everything I’ve been through, God has provided. He’s provided grace, love, and faithfulness in so many articulately beautiful ways. He loves me now like he did when I was a young girl in seventh grade. I am constantly reminding myself I am

VERSE 14 MINISTRY GILBERT, AZ AGE: 22

y walk with Jesus Christ began at a very young age. I always had an understanding of who Jesus was and what He did for me, but I never truly understood the depth of His love and tenderness through the cross until I was a freshman in high school. Growing up, I was always known as the "good girl," and I definitely took pride in that. I almost didn't feel my need for the Lord since I was known as the "good Christian girl." I did the majority of my "good works" for my glory and to make myself look good rather than to glorify Jesus’s name. My senior year of high school, my father unexpectedly passed away. My entire family struggled immensely for a substantial amount of time. We have always been an extremely close and tight knit family, we absolutely LOVED being with each other so we struggled with the changes that immediately became our “new normal.” My heart grew hard and bitter towards God and the love He offered as I started to rebel. I almost felt as if there was nothing in my life I could control except my own actions and physical beauty. My short comings created a vessel for me to enter into a dark hole of suffocating sin. I struggled with an eating disorder off and on for a little over a year. I wasn’t allowing Jesus to be the Lord of my life and walk with me through my current hardship. I was captivated by the lies satan drowned me concerning outward beauty and dwelled in a dark place for a solid year. I knew where I was sinning and I knew what I was doing wrong, but I never allowed Jesus to rescue me from my sin. I remember walking in late to church one evening as the pastor’s message covered trusting the Lord and being joyful in hardship. I had heard that message a million times over the past three years from a million people, but for some reason it resonated differently that evening. It was in that moment God broke me, allowing me to feel the warmth and the depth of His love by embracing me in my sin.

It was in that moment when God began to strip me of my pride and allowed me to see myself in full depravity and need for Him. I remember trying to compose myself during prayer, telling myself "when the service is over, I will get up really quickly and leave so no one see's me." Before I could even get out of my seat, the pastor was standing next to me in my row and said, "Brittney, I was hoping you'd be here tonight." I immediately broke down as he embraced me and prayed for me. From that point forward, I started seeking mentorship through other women. This is when God began to do an act of redemption in my life, drawing me closer in intimacy with Himself. Out of nowhere, the Lord decided to hold our hands through another trying milestone in our lives. July 2012, my Mom was unexpectedly diagnosed with Breast Cancer. Puzzled with what God was doing, I started to fall back into my old ways- but the Lord quickly swept me up before I could walk back to that dark place and reminded me that He was good. In that moment I completely surrendered and allowed myself to experience the fullness of His love and that what He was doing was good. My Mom went through a series of surgeries and was ultimately cured of her cancer. The Lord has been so constant and sovereign through the good and the hard seasons of my life. He continuously provided while refining my heart. Never forsaking me through the promises of His love, while holding me and carrying me through dark and joyful moments in my life.

KAYLIE BRITTAIN 14 VERSE MINISTRY PHOENIX, AZ AGE: 21

onestly my story is littered with failures. But as the Apostle Paul says, I will boast in my weaknesses all the more so Christ be glorified. God this is for you. I was born in a Christian family to two loving parents who prayed for me every day. When I was five years old I became very sick with encephalitis. But I was misdiagnosed and it left me partially deaf. As bad as this was, it could have been worse taking all my hearing and my sight. It’s humbling to see the Lord's protection in my life at such a young age. As I grew up I had so many people who have prayed for me, most importantly my grandma. She loved the Lord so much and just oozed that divine love to me. Even though I didn’t understand exactly why she did it, one thing I knew; she loved Jesus. Watching her read her Bible every day and memorize scripture really left an impact on me. I’ll never forget her love for Jesus, making notes in her big old navy leather Bible. She was diagnosed with cancer when I was 8 and the Lord took her home my freshman year of high school. I miss her. I miss her a lot. She showed me that the Bible is real. It is truth. Later in high school, I fell for a guy who was a year older than me. He was funny and smart. We dated for a year until we realized we wanted to get serious about our future. After two years, he proposed and I accepted. As we were filling out paper work for premarital counseling one of the questions was, “What is the Bible to you?” It was a simple question with an answer he gave that broke my heart. He replied, “The Bible is a good book of moral stories and truths to live by, but that’s about it.“ My heart was crushed. I realized I could not marry him. But that did not stop me from trying. I remember praying, “Lord, you can move mountains, change the heart of stone surely you can save this man whom I love. I know you can.” I prayed this prayer for six months. My relationship with the Lord solely consisted on praying for his salvation. It was around this time I started my freshman year of college. I met a girl my first day of chemistry lab and we became instant friends.

After only knowing her for less than two hours she decided to come with me to Chapel. About ten minutes into worship she bawled and professed Christ as her Lord and Savior. Initially, I was thrilled. Then I was mad, real mad. As I walked back to my dorm, I remember being so frustrated with God. God why would you save a girl that I have only known for two hours over the man that I have loved for over two years! I don’t understand! In that moment, I heard the Lord whisper to me, sermons don’t save people, people don’t save people, the Spirit saves people. Three months later I ended the relationship. But I still had scars. I developed an eating disorder in high school, which led to some heath issues. I found my identity in my image. It resurfaced after my break-up and I struggled hard for two years. I am so thankful for my family and friends who prayed over me and continued showing me the love of Christ despite my selfish heart. I got help, and the Lord slowly drew me in with his love. He romanced me. I finally asked myself why do I spend so much time focusing on my outward appearance when it will all return to dust, when my soul is eternal? There is nothing wrong with wanting to look your best but when you prioritize outer beauty over inner beauty it becomes and idol. That’s exactly what happened to me. I want a lover for my soul. Jesus.

MODEL: MAUREEN MONTAGNE - MAKEUP/HAIR: S OFIA VERDUGO S TYLING: S HAWNTÉ HERNTON - WARDOBE: PINK HOUSE B OUTIQUE PHOTOGRAPHER: R.H. S EED PHOTOGRAPHY

R. H. SEED PHOTOGRAPHY STEMS FROM L OVE RANDY & JESSICA BURGESS PHOENIX, AZ

How does God influence you creatively as a team?

We own and operate R.H. Seed Photography and Stems From Love, a custom floral business. We pray for the creative spark in one another. We seek the inspiration of the Holy Spirit as we embark on a new project; realizing that God may have planted the special vision we may need at any moment in the other person. All of creation proclaims His glory, and as artists whose mediums are literally elements of creation – the light captured through the lens and the flowers formed in the earth – we delight in the discoveries we get to make every time we take on a project.

How does God influence your marriage?

When we married almost 10 years ago, we felt a strong pull in our hearts to come to Jesus. We chose a wonderful church to call home for many years, where we obeyed a call to ministry in worship; Randy sang on the worship team, and Jessica sang and played saxophone. We absolutely, 100 percent, understand the impact music has on the soul in worship. Worshipping Jesus together has strengthened our marriage and has ultimately nurtured our creative calling. Because of our covenant with Him, we feel a special closeness to our wedding clients and hope our services empower them in their own walks.

How do you feel Jesus & Fashion relate?

The Holy Bible has no shortage of inspirational references to what we wear, how we wear it, and why. As it relates to modern fashion, I will focus on the Proverbs 31 woman, described both as wearing fine purple linen and as clothed in strength and dignity. I believe the scriptural inclusion of what she wears, instead of just the latter, is purposeful for illustrating her lifestyle of service and professionalism in her own time. Although her worth is measured by her righteousness, she makes sure her household was dressed in scarlet, and the merchants had sashes. Anyone who earnestly searches for the heart of God, and serves as Jesus served, radiates grace, reverence, and beauty from the inside out, and is called blessed!

Where would you like to see yourselves as a husband and wife team in the photography industry in the next 5 years?

We pray for favor and continued blessings for our businesses. We are so thankful to other Christian professionals who have reached out to us and encouraged our work to this day. Hopefully, in 5 years, we have gained wonderful experience, expertise in the wedding industry, and wisdom in our respective specialties to lift up many more artists and professionals ready to discover their own callings. Our bold prayer? Working summers in San Diego!

Where was your first date together?

We became great friends while working at the library at Arizona State University as students. The instant we met, we knew there was something special in store for the two of us. After the school year ended, and Jessica moved on to a new job, I picked her up for lunch one day – our first official “date.” We ate at Mi Patio in downtown Phoenix. To this day, we love spending time in downtown Phoenix more than any other place.

oubt, fear, worry, uncertainty…a lot of Christians struggle with this. In fact, from the beginning of time people have struggled with doubt. Eve doubted God’s motives when satan tempted her to go her own way instead of God’s way. Satan, knew the truth, but being the father of all lies, he disregarded what God said and told Adam and Eve if they ate the forbidden fruit their eyes would be opened and they would be like God (Genesis 3:4). Satan wanted them to doubt God’s goodness, His motives and plan; He wanted them to believe God was holding out on them. Satan still brings doubt, lies and discouragement. The devil’s statements seem to make sense; he will make it feel as if the word of defeat is coming from God. This is why it is important to know who God is so we can reject all lies whether they are from Satan, ourselves or others. Many Christians at one point or another have struggled with doubting their salvation and God’s love. At various times they may ask, “Does God love me?” “Am I really saved, why do I struggle so much?” Other times Christian’s minds are filled with all sorts of negative, fearful “what-if” thoughts that can seemingly drive them nuts. Another way believers struggle with doubt is thinking God is willing to help other people overcome their obstacles but not you. When people feel this way there is no victory in their relationship with God, no praise, no peace…they live in constant fear. God doesn’t want anyone to live in fear or uncertainty. Agreeing with God over our forgiven state is just as important as agreeing with God over our sins and shortcomings. He died to set us free so we could know Him, love Him, worship Him and obey Him. 1 John 1:9 says, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” And John 6:37 promises that God will never turn away anyone who comes to Him ... “All that the Father gives me shall come to me; and he that comes to me I will in no wise cast out.” So many believers doubt their salvation because they focus on their feelings (which change all the time), instead of focusing on God’s word. Resting in God’s perfect love will cast out all fear (1 John 4:18). Have you experienced God’s perfect love? How do you do this? Adrian Rogers has said, “To know Him is to trust Him and to trust Him is to know Him. Simply put, you can’t easily trust someone you don’t know or even barely know. We need to decide to be adamant about reading God’s word and knowing His character (Romans 10:17). When we read His word and pray we will find how He is faithful, trustworthy, loving, good, for us, all-powerful, how He keeps His promises, is the provider and that nothing is too hard for Him. God will put a limit on your trials (Job). He uses them to help you grow closer to Him. The doubts, temptations, fears and whatever you are facing will not go on forever. God is trusting us to trust Him to preserve. He will make us faithful, diligent and disciplined and help us love, trust and obey Him. Pastor Charles Stanley has said, “There are moments in life that are absolutely midnight black, with very little hope. You see no way God could possibly deliver you from them. But take comfort- the Father has a plan for you in these times and He allows them for a purpose (2 Corinthians 1:8-10). So whatever fears, doubts or struggles you are going through it is time to get to know your Savior and God. You will see His faithfulness and see how God can make a way, when there seems to be no way. Don’t doubt what God has shown you in the light. God is faithful.

WENDELL ESPERANZA PHOENIX, AZ

MODEL - MESA , AZ - AGE: 23

M ISAIAH 41:8-10 “DON’ T BE AFRAID, FOR I AM WITH YOU. D ON’ T BE DISCOURAGED, FOR I AM YOUR GOD. I WILL STRENGTHEN YOU AND HELP YOU. I WILL HOLD YOU UP WITH MY VICTORIOUS RIGHT HAND.”

his year is the year I have to get out of the box. For a long time now I've had this fear of facing failure. I remember I loved to take risks and always step outside of my box, not having a care on failure. I just enjoyed life itself, but those days weren't aligned in the right path with God. I started to become selfish and always feeling negative. This is when I started photography eight years ago and studied on my own and tried to do different kinds of photography. At first things were going well when I got into photographing engagements and weddings. Shortly after it started to fade. Then I got into photographing the nightlife in clubs, then to cars, women, real estate, etc...you name it, then it died out to zero. I was never satisfied; I followed my feelings instead of God leading me. Now that those days were past long ago now years ahead, I always seek the path that God has called me to do. I need to let faith be applied into my lifestyle for me to get out of that box and face my fear of failure and not worry.

y relationship with God is not the most conventional, but then again no one’s really is. I do not go to church very often because I worship from my home. I do not boast about my relationship with God because it is just that, it is MY relationship with Him. That is not to say that I disagree with anyone who chooses to worship God from a church or share with others their experiences. I admire those that share their faith and experiences. It is a sign of a strength that I do not yet possess, but I do believe that God is still working on me. The wonderful thing is that everyone’s relationship and journey with God is different. I truly believe that there is not a correct journey, that there are simply different ones. I have experienced my own struggles in life just as I’m sure everyone else has. I have experienced another bought of depression (the worst yet, as most likely every depressed person feels). When I was at my lowest and my weakest, I prayed. God has not only carried me through the darkest parts, but he loved me at my darkest, even when I provided Him with a million reasons not to love me or believe in me. I always felt the power of his faith. I am now repeating a new prayer on a daily basis, one that is very near and dear to my heart. “Dear God, thank you for this beautiful life, and please forgive me if I don’t love it enough.” I have learned that the best way to be grateful for this beautiful life that God has given me is to live it to its fullest extent.

MODEL: HEATHER CAWLEY PHOTOGRAPHY: ANGELIC MAGAZINE CLOTHING: WWW. PINKHOUSEBOUTIQUE. COM JEWELRY: BLISS BY NIKKI