December 2020
...about enjoying the Holidays in unenjoyable times
During the holiday season, we would normally be singing joyful songs, but December 2020 has changed that tune! Instead, we may feel resentful, sad, or upset as we struggle against the loss of traditional celebrations. This can lead to the infamous “holiday blues,” feeling depressed, deprived, and irritated. Let’s first turn to a holiday classic for some insight:
and spend time with our loved ones. The bonds we create with the people in our lives are spiritual and emotional and can be sustained even without physical contact. Family gatherings and engaging in social events are a health risk this year, and the elderly and those with health-risks will lose the joy that comes from being with children and grandchildren, no hugs and no loving touches! Children are particularly susceptible to feelings of depression and irritation as they watch their long-awaited traditions unravel. But, focusing on the negative aspects of this year’s Covid holidays and the unavailable traditional holiday activities is a choice. We do We are all caught in have options!
Frank Capra’s 1946 film It’s a Wonderful Life is the epitome of the Christmas classic. Watching the film with loved ones is a holiday tradition in the US and around the world. However, if we distance ourselves from the mythical status of the film and pretend that we watch it for the first time, it may initially appear strange how it came All life is interrelated. to epitomize the season's feel-good an inescapable network of mutuality, tied The ‘Art of Reframing’ is a great tool. spirit. After all, its plot focuses on the into a single garment of destiny. Whatever Undoubtedly, things will, from time story of a disillusioned, depressed affects one directly, affects all indirectly. to time, go quite unexpectedly very, man contemplating suicide. How Martin Luther King, Jr. very wrong! The key to maintaining one may wonder, such a gloomy your psychological equilibrium is story became synonymous with learning to use reframing. This means replacing the “it’s awful” hope and the affirmation of life itself. Towards the end of the film, frame of reference with a more optimistic frame and remembering George Bailey, immortalized by James Stewart, is shown an alternathat these situations, sometime in the future, can become “Great tive timeline in which he Stories”! Yes, those stories we all retell over and over again rather never existed. Understandproudly and humorously as to how we “survived and adjusted”! So, ing that, due to his absence, what will your ‘Great Family Story’ be when asked some 5+ years his loved ones took worse from now about the 2020 Covid Holidays? Will it be how you paths through life, George suffered? Or, will it be how you and your family created a wonderful realizes that he had already experience out of a bad situation? been given the greatest gift: Many will schedule Zoom or Skype holiday get-togethers as one people who need him, obvious option. But we need people who love him, to be even more creative! people whose lives he Zoom fatigue is real! Take influenced for the better. some time then to engage all This climactic realization family members in planning reminds us that the holiday your own unique 2020 Covid season is essentially a Holidays response. celebration of the interdependence that defines us as a species. There’s no reason why this celebration should not continue this year. Technology provides us with all the tools we need to connect
Suggestions to Prime the “Family’s Creativity Pump”! • Bake holiday cookies or traditional foods together. Invite friends or family to join you via Zoom or Skype. • Cook traditional holiday foods together and then share or give to with those who are alone, isolated, or hungry at this time. • Handwrite “Letters of Gratitude” to friends, grandparents, teachers, etc., who have made a special difference in your life. Then mail (don’t email!) these letters to them!! • Organize a holiday “Quarantine Pod” of a one or two other families (preferably of different cultures, religions or nationalities) and exchange traditional food or baked goods. Contributors:
William G. Nicoll, Ph.D., resiliencectc@aol.com Evan Syropoulos, Ph.D., syropoulose@acs.gr
• Develop a family ‘Holiday Giving Project’ by together choosing 1-2 causes that most matter to your family and volunteer, donate or contribute to these causes as the family’s gift. • Organize a family “Holiday Song Fest” via Zoom, getting all to join in, or have everyone share/teach songs from their respective countries, religions, or cultures. • Create a family 2020 ‘Covid Time Capsule’ with everyone contributing notes, pictures, etc. representing “my biggest stressor” or “greatest disappointment” as well as “my best coping strategy” and “proudest moment.” Put away in a sealed container to open at holiday time in 2021.