DEAD PLANTS

DEVOTIONAL

“Stop watering dead plants.” This phrase has been floating around the internet for a while now and it essentially means that if a relationship is costing us something and failing to bring any value to our life, the logical solution is to neglect it. It assumes that all of our relationships should be reciprocal in nature and if things are starting to feel one-sided, you are immediately free to cast off the responsibility of maintenance and let the inevitable happen. Another related quote is circulating that plays on the same theme: “Stop texting first and see how many dead plants you’ve been watering.” From a selfish, worldly perspective, this makes perfect sense. If we are living exclusively for self, then a relationship that doesn’t benefit us or at least maintain equity is just a waste of time and energy and it makes sense to pack up your watering can and say good riddance.

I got to thinking about a Christian’s response to this sentiment. I’ve noticed a lot of emphases lately on self-care in our high-stress, modern society. This practice, defined as taking an active role in protecting one’s own well-being and happiness, most definitely has its place. There’s nothing wrong with infusing our days with things that bring joy or enhance mental health and there are absolutely situations where toxic people need to be cut from our lives. But the danger is that we can become so focused on our own needs that we miss opportunities to serve others. The gospel is often at odds with the world and our primary focus should be servanthood, not selfishness. Jesus said, “For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.” (Mark 10:45) God places people in our orbit because they need Him, and He lets us take part in the joy of being a conduit of resources and blessing to them. Another consideration is that we never truly know what is going on in someone’s life. It’s easy to take things personally when we’re putting effort in, and the other person has gone quiet. But maybe they’re struggling with undisclosed health problems. It could be that their marriage is going south, or depression is clouding their days. Or perhaps the trauma they’ve endured in the past is tainting their life in the present. Is perfect relational reciprocity a necessity or are we called to keep pouring energy into unpromising vessels?

Stop texting first and see how many dead plants you’ve been watering.” From a selfish, worldly perspective, this makes perfect sense. If we are living exclusively for self, then a relationship that doesn’t benefit us or at least maintain equity is just a waste of time and energy and it makes sense to pack up your watering can and say good riddance.

Growing up as a pastor’s kid, I watched my dad water a lot of dead plants. He spent hours listening to and counseling the obvious hopeless cases. You know, the people that you see coming toward you or who’s number comes up on your phone and you immediately cringe and start planning your escape. These were people who required a lot of energy and could offer very little in return, mostly made up of the mentally challenged, the traumatized, the lonely, or even just disgruntled church members who were never happy no matter what he did. From my youthful perspective, my dad poured himself into the least profitable relationships. I couldn’t understand why he didn’t devote more effort to tending those who could bring him prestige, power and popularity or at least balance his time out less disproportionately. It just seemed like he gave so much and gained so little in return. Jesus also had a habit of watering dead plants: lepers, tax collectors, demoniacs, prostitutes, all with futility written all over them. But I think the one that stands out the most to me is Judas. He was never called to discipleship, but rather insinuated himself into the group at the urging of the other men who were dazzled by his charisma and business acumen. Jesus could’ve spurned him and denied entry to his band of brothers. He knew Judas’ heart and could no doubt see the betrayal looming ahead. But instead, Judas was placed where he couldn’t help but see the contrast of his own perfidy and worldly ambition with the selflessness of Christ. Day after day, Jesus poured Himself into a relationship that brought Him nothing but heartache and disappointment. Judas, by allowing Satan access to parts of his character, gave rise to confusion and dissension in the ranks of the other disciples as they earnestly tried to comprehend the mission of Christ. It must have felt like having an enemy in the camp who was constantly confounding the work. In the end, he firmly planted his allegiance with the other side and sold his Master for the price of a slave. Why did Jesus water this necrotic plant? Because there was always the chance, as infinitesimal as it was, that Judas would surrender his selfish heart to the One who saw what he could become if he embraced redemption and allowed himself to be transformed.

Do you have a dead plant or two in your life? Jesus’ example calls us to keep watering. Not because we want to or even because we have hope of change, but because we are called to by the One who never stops watering us.

By Bethanne Nichols, an alumna of both PAA and Burman, is currently living in Salmon Arm with her husband and two daughters.

Bethanne Nichols