Parents Magazine February 2018

Lonely Road to Widowhood

One Woman’s Experience

Real Estate Developer

The Story of Radio Host

JEFF MOTE

The Many Faces of EMMY KOSGEI

MADUBUKO

Singer. Preacher’s Wife. Philanthropist. Cultural Ambassador

THE LOVE ISSUE

Celebrating Friendships

Terryanne Chebet & Monica Kiragu

Amos & Josh

Oprah Winfrey & Gayle King

And Other Celebrity Best Friends

Consideration… Being mindful of others

How to Make Your Miss V

TASTE AND SMELL GOOD

LEE KARURI

Politics can bring out either the best or worst in us. Sadly, often times, it’s the worst that rears its ugly head. For instance, longstanding friendships are put in the back burner as politics takes centre stage and we start seeing ‘a brother from another mother’ as someone from the other tribe. The hatred that we witnessed in the run up to last year’s general elections is evidence of that.

Let’s learn to love… Lily

Lee Karuri, an astute real estate developer and businessman, tells of his rise in the real estate industry in My Story. As you will learn, Karuri’s influence goes beyond our Kenyan borders. He also has a strong imprint on Kenya’s economic growth through his contribution to organisations such as the Kenya Private Sector Alliance and Vision 2030 among others.

Lily

A few months have passed since the elections and it seems Kenyans are finally coming to their senses. It’s as if we have finally realised that tribe is not our common enemy but corruption, mediocrity, irresponsibility and many other ills that bedevil our society are.

In this month of love, let us learn to love one another and to create a bond that is so strong that no politics can come in between. To quote Nelson Mandela, “No one is born hating another person because of the colour of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.”

In this spirit of love, this issue celebrates friendships and where best to start than in marriage. Although five years have gone by since our cover star, Emmy Kosgei Madubuko, got married

Simplify your Life

Get rid of junk mail

Pity your poor mail carriers. Their shoulders must burn under the mailbag strap as they haul each day’s mail to your desk.

Kevin A.

Miller, Author

Avoid it... turn from it and pass on.

Proverbs 4:15

With this new age of technology – emails, social media platforms, WhatsApp, texts and so on, we get all kinds of mail we do not want. And if you do not attend to them, your inbox will be bursting to the seam in no time. You simply don’t have the time to read all the mail that comes through each day and though you may feel guilty discarding mail that you have not opened, it is the wisest thing to do if you want to simplify

to Nigerian apostle Anselm Madubuko, it seems as if it was just yesterday. She is categorical that she is enjoying her marriage in every sense of the word with friendship being the glue that holds their marriage together. We also sought to find out how the Taunet Nelel hitmaker juggles the many hats she wears without seemingly breaking a sweat. Turn to the Cover Story column for more.

Still on marriage, Paul and Naomi Gol, the marriage couple of the month, attest that the secret to their 22-year long marriage lies in their friendship. This friendship is palpable in their story in Marriages that Last where they share secrets to maintaining a successful marriage.

Meet Dr Oliver Wala of Family Dentistry in Real People Real Lives. The youthful doctor takes us through his brave decision to start a private practice at a young age and how he maneuvered obstacles that come with start-ups especially in the medical sector. In This is Life, Cecilia Wainaina reveals the lonely road of the widowhood journey. Her story highlights the plight of widows and widowers and what we can do to help.

We also celebrate young people shaking and reshaping their industries such as Kiss 100 FM presenter, Jeff Mote, who opens up on his foray into radio. Elsewhere in the magazine, Olivia Mengich, producer of black dolls, speaks about promoting black beauty through her dolls.

Are you a salt addict? Find out in the Nutrition Focus column. We also give you signs to watch out for to stop thrombosis dead on its tracks when pregnant in the Pregnancy and Birth column.

Turn the pages for these and so much more.

Till next month!

your life. You need to remember that you are not obligated to read something just because somebody sent it to you uninvited. If you read every unsolicited mail that comes to your inbox, then somebody else is controlling your life instead of you.

Have you purchased something by mail order or from a shop where you left your email address and you find out a few months later you are getting hundreds of mailshots or magazines and fliers you never asked for? And when you ask them to remove you from their mailing list they often never do.

It is sad that today you can open your computer and see hundreds of mail and feel overwhelmed before you even start going though it. It may not be possible to stop people from sending you unsolicited mail in today’s society if they get access to your email, or postal address, or add

you to a WhatsApp group, but at least you don’t have to read them.

Discard mail you don’t want or block the sender from accessing your email or just leave the group if you can. If it is mail by post, just throw it away unopened without any guilt. Don’t keep mail in your in-tray or inbox in case you ever get around to reading it. If it is not important enough to look at now, or at least in the next few days, chances are you will never look at it.

The only way of avoiding piles of mail is to systematically move them to the dustbin, junk or trash. Be in the habit of everyday trashing mail that you don’t need and you will find your life will be more simplified. For goodness sake, don’t keep junk mail. It just weighs you down and stops you from focusing on important things in your life.

Joyce Meyer

The Team

PUBLISHER

CONTENTS February 2018

OFFICE

REGULARS 16

1. Editorial 2. Contents 6. Mailbox 4. News 11. Meet the cover models 14. Living Value 57. Baby of the month

HEALTHY YOU

15.Body and Soul: Laughter can save your life

32.Well Woman: Embrace healthy habits to save the environment

34. Focus on disease: Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

SENIOR WRITER

DIGITAL

MARKETING

MARKETING

CIRCULATION

CONTACTS: st michael’s rd. off Church Rd. waiyaki way, westlands; p.o. box 50795-00200, nairobi tel: 020 233 1312 020 251 9283

mobile: 0713 286 015

e-mail: info@parents.co.ke

PARENTS is published monthly by Stellan Consult Ltd., P. O. Box 50795-00200, Nairobi, Kenya. All rights are reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part of any articles without written permission is prohibited. The Editor welcomes contributions which, if accepted will be paid for at our normal rates and all rights, unless initially specified otherwise remain with the publisher. Other materials accompanied by a stamped envelope will be returned if rejected. Unsolicited materials will not be acknowledged.

Cover Story:

INSPIRATION

16.Cover Story: The many faces of Emmy Kosgei

20. Real People Real Lives: Dr Oliver Wala: Dentist with a passion to serve

28. Celebrating our Heroes: Caleb Ndaka: Taking computer lessons to kids in rural areas

EXPERIENCES

24. My Story: Arch. Lee Karuri: Entrepreneur with heart of gold

26. This is Life: Cecilia Wainaina: The lonely road of widowhood

WELL-BEING

12. Finding Happiness: When your behaviour is selfdestructive

13. Lifestyle: Breast is still best

47. Shape your Finances: How Bitcoin works

54. Ask the experts: How can I help my child adjust to school?

24

My Story: Arch. Lee Karuri: Entrepreneur with heart of gold

35. Healthy man: Diphallia: Abnormality of having two penises

RELATIONSHIPS

36. Marriages That Last: Paul and Naomi Gol: On what makes their marriage tick

39. Relationships: The singles guide to a happy Valentine’s Day

40. Bond of love: Friends turned to husband and wife

42. Sex: 8 ways to improve the taste and smell of your vagina

44. Trending issues: Celebrating friendships

YOUTH

50. Focus on youth: 7 ways to show love to your parents

51. Youthful voices: Are men the weaker sex?

52. Young Achiever: The untold story of Jeff Mote

55. Phenomenal Woman: Olivia Mengich: Promoting black beauty one doll at a time

BEAUTY AND STYLE

22. In Style: Different types of toilet seats

30. Hairchat: Natural hairstyle ideas for every length

31. Grooming: Dress sexy, but not trashy

48. Fashion: Unconventional Valentine’s fashion

MOTHER AND BABY

56. Mum’s Helpline: Becoming a better mother through self-love

58. Child Clinic: Common back to school infections and how to manage them

59. Pregnancy and Birth: The killer clot! Thrombosis in pregnancy

EAT SMART

60. Nutrition Focus: Stop being a salt junkie

61. Bite Me: I am fine lime

62. Eating at Home: Seared tilapia spiralised Zucchini

OPINION

10.From the Pulpit: Enjoy heaven’s treasure here on earth

63. Men Only: Celebrate friendship this season

64. Share My World: Learning to deal with difficult people

The many faces of Emmy Kosgei

DIABETES IN WOMEN

Symptoms, risks and management

According to the International Diabetes Federation, there are more than 199 million women living with diabetes worldwide and the number is projected to increase tremendously in the next few years. Diabetes is the ninth leading cause of death among women globally and causes up to 2.1 million deaths. Here’s how the condition affects women.

The symptoms of diabetes are the same in both women and men. The main ones are polyuria (passing a lot of urine), polydipsia (excessive thirst) and polyphagia (excessive hunger).

Having diabetes puts one at risk of heart disease. Women with type 2 diabetes are 10 times as likely to get heart diseases compared to women without diabetes. They are also more likely to get the heart disease at an earlier age than women without the condition. Some women with diabetes also have associated high blood pressure, high cholesterol levels and may be obese, and these factors further increase the risk of heart disease.

Apart from heart disease, if not well controlled, diabetes can also put one at risk of getting kidney disease. This can lead to end stage kidney disease requiring dialysis or kidney transplant. The eyes can also be affected and diabetes is the leading cause of blindness in adults worldwide.

Diabetes can also affect a woman’s sex life. Changes in blood sugar and depression can lead to a woman feeling tired and irritable. Diabetes can also lead to vaginal dryness and this can make sex painful. All these can lead to reduced libido in the person. However, this does not

happen to every woman and is not a normal part of diabetes. Poor sugar control also leads to yeast overgrowth and that is why some women get frequent vaginal yeast infections.

Managing diabetes…

For any woman who has diabetes, it is important to take care of yourself. It is advisable to stop smoking and if taking alcohol, then limit it to one drink per day or stop completely. Check your blood pressure regularly and if you have high blood pressure then take the medication as advised by the doctor. It is also important to check your cholesterol levels and if high then start on adequate medication.

Regular exercise assists in controlling both blood sugar and blood pressure levels and also assists in weight loss. Weight loss, in turn, helps control blood pressure and blood sugar. Nutrition is one of the most important things in diabetes. Eating the right foods in the right quantities is critical in controlling both blood sugar and blood pressure.

It is also important to know your family’s history. If there is a history of diabetes or hypertension or heart disease in your family, then you are at a higher risk than the general population of getting

these and therefore you need to be screened more frequently for them.

Most important of all is to know your body. Know what is normal for you and what is abnormal. If you notice any abnormal changes or any abnormal pains in the body especially in the chest area, it will be prudent to seek medical advice immediately as it could be a sign of an underlying problem.

For pregnant women, it is highly recommended you attend antenatal clinics where your blood sugar will be checked to monitor for gestational diabetes. If there is, medication can be given to manage your diabetes and therefore reduce the chances of pregnancy complications.

In a patient who is already diabetic and thinking of getting pregnant, see the doctor beforehand. Your blood sugar should be well controlled and any complications arising from the diabetes should be ruled out. If there is, then it should be well managed throughout the pregnancy. With proper care, one can deliver a sound baby and be healthy as well.

All in all, women with diabetes can lead normal, long and healthy lives if the condition is controlled.

The month of love is upon us, let us appreciate our loved ones by showering them with glass after glass of fun. Spark something this valentines with Fruit Flavored Drinks' exciting flavors of Mango, Orange, Pineapple, Punch, Cocopine, Strawberry and Lemon.

INGREDIENTS

• 1.2 Kg Kenchic broiler

chicken

• 2 onions, sliced

• 2 tablespoons

crushed garlic

• 1 teaspoon crushed ginger

• 2 tomatoes

• A large bunch of Dhania (coriander), chopped

• 2 tablespoons

vegetable oil

DIRECTIONS (Serves 4)

• Put the onions and oil in a pan and cook over medium heat till the onions are soft.

• Add ginger and garlic and cook till fragrant, add the chicken and mix well. Reduce the heat and cook for five minutes and add salt .

• Cook till the chicken starts to brown. Add the tomatoes, cover and let it steam for 6 minutes. Stir the tomato into the chicken.

• Add Dhania and cover till chicken is cooked.

• Serve with an accompaniment of your choice.

Winning letter awarded with JikokoaTM

Winner, Akinyi Ogot recieves JikokoaTM from Parents' Digital Editor and Senior Writer, Esther Akello.

Thank you for sharing the story of Fred Kiroko, founder of Makiga Engineering Services. I’m impressed by his dedication and sacrifice to providing affordable housing. His story has also inspired me towards working on how to build my dream house and business with the machine his company engineered to help make cheap bricks. I hope to visit the company and get more information that will help me forge forward.

Thought of the Month

Alcohol can still ruin marriages

Ilove the stories in the magazine and always read them. I found the marriage story of James Macharia and Millie Mburu and their struggle with alcohol inspiring and interesting. However, I felt that James wasn’t remorseful for what he put his wife through. From his responses, he came out as entitled to his previous behaviour and given a chance, he would go back to his old ways. But the past is gone and I am glad he got the help he needed. Best wishes and blessings to the family.

Heroic FGM activist

Iread with interest the story of Natalie Robi in the December 2017 issue. It is commendable for her to take on the fight against female genital mutilation (FGM) in a community that still holds on to the vice. FGM activists just like other human rights campaigners face intimidation and sometimes even death. Natalie’s resilience in soldering on despite threats from her community is a sign of great strength.

Coping with childlessness

Ijust want to encourage Hadassah and Ken Okoye featured in the Marriages that Last column (Coping with childlessness while waiting on God) in the March 2017 issue. My sister waited for a child for six years but God finally blessed her with quadruplets, who are now in class two. Nothing is impossible with God. May the God of Hannah hear your cry.

Josky Shams via email

God really came through for the couple that struggled with alcohol addiction. May God turn the story of many around, just like He did for this couple.

Phanice Ajore Otieno

Thank you for the informative cooking tips especially on the viazi karai. I have to try them for my family. My daughter loves them.

Norah Kaimenyi

Efficient home management leads to peace of mind and productivity. Thank you for sharing on how our homes can make us sick John Kamau

Kanze looks gorgeous @AileenKathambi

Author Yvonne Adhiambo Owuor’s story is inspiring. Keep it up Yvonne @deprissgroup

Such a beautiful story of Janet and Benny Meshullam who found love in their forties @Liz Okumu

AnneRose Muriithi via email

Mary Wangari Njuguna via email

Ibrahim Abdullahi via email

When man meets an obstacle he can't destroy, he destroys himself.

Ryszard Kapuscinski (19322007), Polish reporter

Why UHT milk lasts longer and is safer

How long it stays fresh depends on how it’s treated and handled. While regular milk expires within about a week or sooner, UHT milk also referred as long life milk lasts much longer.

Give you milk with a shelf life of six months while retaining its color, taste and nutrition and for as long as the package is unopened. There is no addition of preservatives or additives. This milk requires no refrigeration.

So what is it about UHT milk that makes it stay fresh and safe for longer?

This method that gives the milk a longer shelf life is called ultra-high temperature (UHT) processing or treatment, in which milk is heated to 135 degrees Celsius for 3 seconds hence killing all bacteria in it.This is 100 % natural process of sterilizing milk which destroys ALL bacteria without destroying the nutrients or nutritive value of the milk. UHT milk is packed using special material. The aseptic packaging does not allow the milk inside to come into contact with moisture, light, or bacteria. The package contains 6 layers. There is an aluminum foil captured between four layers polythene and one layer of paperboard. The paperboard prevents the light from entering the pack thereby preventing vitamin degradation.

Pasteurization on the other hand is simply heating milk hot enough and long enough to kill pathogens - disease causing germs. It is also 100 % natural .To pasteurize milk, you heat it to 84°C for 15 seconds. This makes milk safe for human consumptiIn order for milk to stay fresh at room temperature, two things are required. First, it has to be completely free of any bacteria Second, the milk must be packaged in such a way that it can’t be contaminated.

The UHT processing and aseptic packaging on, and in the process, dramatically reduces the number of bacteria that cause spoilage enabling the milk to remain drinkable for a week or so, as long as it’s refrigerated. Pasteurization however, leaves some viable bacteria, which multiply over time especially after the milk is exposed to air hence the need to refrigerate.UHT, on the other hand, kills all bacteria. The different temperatures hint at why UHT milk lasts longer.Pasteurized milk has an expiration date of two – four days. Milk that undergoes UHT doesn’t need to be refrigerated and can sit on the shelf for up to six months.

Brookside’s’ Dairy best milk is the leading UHT milk in Kenya .It is safe and it contains no additive or preservatives. It has all the goodness of fresh milk. It very safe and can be given to children above 3 years.

Brookside’s DairyBest is produced at our state of the art factory in Ruiru. Brookside Dairy Limited is certified to the highly regarded internationally accepted food safety and quality standards i.e. Food safety system certification FSSC: 2013 and ISO 9001:2015. This assures our valued customers of safe high quality nutritious dairy products.

In addition our elaborate environment, health and safety system is certified to international British standard OHSAS 18001:2007 and international ISO 14001:2015 standard. The company has also implemented the social ethical standards based on international labour standards ILS.

The company ensures optimal utilization of resources, reduction of wastage and compliance to all environmental and safety regulations. Our elaborate environment, health and safety system is certified to international British standard OHSAS 18001:2007 and international ISO 14001:2015 standard. The company has also implemented the social ethical standards based on international labor standards ILS.

THE EXPERT OPINION BY DR. JOHN KIIRU –

Researcher

at Kenya Medical Research Institute (KEMRI) at the Centre for Microbiology

There is need to conduct research to ascertain how the wide-spread practice of consumption of non-pasteurized milk could be implicated in the up of infections and especially food borne illnesses. Due to the advantages of pasteurization, many developed countries passed laws prohibiting the sale of untreated milk as early as in 1919 and milk is now considered one of the safest foods. In Africa however, and in Kenya in particular, people continue consuming unpasteurized milk due to various reasons such as high cost of pasteurized milk and direct access to raw milk from farmers. Consumption of raw milk is also now common in urban areas in Kenya and in the larger Nairobi metropolis. There is a likelihood that this practice exposes unsuspecting communities to infections and the young, the and the immune-comprised may be disproportionally affected. As urban densities increase in fast growing cities like Nairobi, the length of the supply chains is likely to increase and this means that raw milk will take longer to reach the consumer therefore increasing the chances of contamination and possibilities of food-poisoning.

Be very keen with the kind of milk you buy as you would rather spend a few shillings more to get safe and nutritious milk. UHT milk is the safer option fro you and your family

Show love to your family THIS VALENTINE’S WITH JIK

Grace Naimasiyah, a wife and mother, has always been keen to go that extra mile for her family. During this love season, she has purposed to put her best foot forward to impress her family the best way she knows how – gifting them with a safe and sparkling home. To this effect, she trusts JIK, her worthy companion, to meet this goal.

Grace Naimasiyah, a stayat-home mother of three beautiful children – Brianna, Lemar and Tyrone - uses JIK to add that extra bit of shine to her home. She purposely does the cleaning all by herself to show her love towards her family. One of the many things she does is to ensure her home looks spick and span.

This Valentine season, aside from ensuring she is looking her best, she also wants to make sure her bedroom is clean for her husband Kim Kigame. She will also ensure all other forgotten surfaces are wiped and disinfected. Her product of choice, of course, is JIK, as she only trusts it to remove all those embarrassing stains leaving everything looking and smelling clean.

Being that in their household Grace has white bed sheets and linens, she always uses JIK to not only ensure her white linens are germ free, but also

remain white and bright.

“I soak them in JIK overnight and then wash them the next day,” she says. JIK has been her bleach of choice as she recalls her own mother using it and she has carried the same tradition to her own family. She uses it to whiten her husband’s vests and her children’s white t-shirts as well.

“When you have boys who love playing outdoors and dirtying their clothes, it is a must you use JIK,” she says. In addition, she also uses JIK to ensure her undergarments remain brilliantly white. In the bathroom, Grace uses JIK for cleaning her children’s towels and also for disinfecting her sink and drains.

“I prefer JIK because it really makes my work easy and keeps my whites, white,” she says. Indeed, JIK does keep whites brilliantly white and adding a

little JIK to your regular washing routine ensures your whites remain white and bright. Not forgetting it is a brilliant way to show your family you love them by looking after their health with the disinfecting qualities of JIK.

Having had several Valentine’s Days with her family, Grace is keeping this special love-appreciation day new and exciting for the family by using JIK to brighten her home.

1

Make sure your children’s school clothes are something to be proud of with JIK.

2

Go to sleep with peace of mind! Use JIK to ensure your white linens are disinfected and germ free.

3

Your bathroom sink drain should be disinfected daily. After cleaning the basin pour JIK down the drain to prevent the spread of germs.

4

Did you know that JIK is safe on certain coloured clothing items? Perform a colourfast test by adding 1 teaspoon of JIK to 1/2 cup of water and apply to a hidden part of the garment and leave for 1 minute. If the colour does not change then it is a colourfast item.

5

Use JIK colours on colour fast fabrics such as cotton, polyester, nylon linens and synthetic blends. JIK colours contains no chlorine and will therefore not fade your colours or yellow your whites.

MEET THE COVER MODEL

Our cover model for this issue is none other than multiaward winning gospel singer and songwriter Emmy Kosgei Madubuko.

Emmy Kosgei Madubuko wears many hats. The Taunet Nelel star is wife to Nigerian televangelist and pastor, Anselm Madubuko and by extension the first lady of Revival Assembly Cathedral, where her husband is the Apostolic leader. She is also stepmother to her husband’s three children; Velma, Sandra and Anselm Jr., as well as a grandmother.

When she is not writing music or singing, Emmy is also Kenya’s national and global tourism cultural ambassador under the Ministry of Tourism and travels extensively globally to market Kenya as a tourism jewel. She is also an eager philanthropist.

Turn to the Cover Story page to understand how the Kenyan songbird balances her multi-faceted life while remaining authentic in her career, music, faith and marriage.

WANT TO BE A COVER MODEL?

Email: covermodel@parents.co.ke

Tel: 0713 286 015

Make-up: Christine of Ashley,s Salon Two Rivers Mall

Wardrobe: Model’s own & Alata Styles Anselm’s photos/Courtesy

Location: Nairobi Safari Club Hotel

Enjoy heaven’s treasure here on earth

On hearing this, Jesus told him, “You still lack one thing: Sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come follow me.” That was Jesus speaking in Luke 18:22 to the rich young man who had desired to become a disciple.

From a casual reading of the Bible, one gets the sense that becoming a disciple of Jesus is embracing loads and loads of suffering. You give all your treasures on earth to the poor, you abandon your fishing net to be made a fisher of men; Steven is stoned, Peter and Paul are crucified… is there really happiness in following God?

But let’s keep to the rich young man because as I write this, I feel God is making me understand the verse like never before. My internal eyes are opening to see this message in a clearer way, and a better one for that matter.

This year, brother and sister, God is assuring us that yes, He will fulfill our prayers, dreams and plans. He is willing and ready and He has seen your supplication, your fasting, and your sacrifices in the past years and He is happy with that. He is going to make 2018 a successful year for you. The beginning of a glorious life here on earth! “For He has been mindful of the humble state of His servant. Therefore, henceforth, all generations will call me (you) blessed” (Luke 1:48).

But “you still lack one thing,” says Jesus, “sell everything you have and give to the poor.” Now, some of you might claim that you have got nothing to sell or give away. But you have a lot. Jesus wants you to understand today that what he

wants from you is total surrender to him. God wants you to fully focus on Him alone if you are to be his disciple. When you “sell everything you have” and then “give all the money you get from the sale to the poor,” then you are left with nothing. You become vulnerable. But if you have done all this for God, then He is going to take over your life and bless you in abundance.

To “sell everything you have” must not be construed to mean that you literally give everything away. No. I know a woman whose husband has been complaining about her giving away “things that belong to them” to her church pastor. She takes to the pastor even money her husband leaves behind for food. Funny thing is that the pastor receives such money and comforts the woman that God will feed her children. According to the man, the children have gone to bed hungry several times because his wife gave away the money to the pastor. That is not God’s teaching and such pastors must desist from causing suffering and strain to families.

Today, God is telling you that to become his disciple, you need to detach from earthly gods - the idols that blind you from fully committing to God. For some, the gods could be money, for others beauty, yet for others their intelligence. They put their hopes for success in these things and they are the ones that Jesus tells us to give away. But the beauty of this verse comes towards the end: “You will have treasure in Heaven.”

This is good news and once you understand this, then your question about whether discipleship is all about

suffering is perfectly answered. To have “treasure in Heaven” does not mean you will only access this wealth or treasure only after death, no. Having treasure in Heaven should be taken as having an ATM card for the Bank of Heaven. It means that once you surrender to God and abandon all the little gods that you have previously relied on, you will begin to withdraw all you need from this account in heaven. Having a treasure in heaven doesn’t mean you will live and suffer and die poor. No, the ideal condition for the disciple does not involve poverty. It involves drawing from God’s own wealth and living a life of happiness and sharing with the less fortunate.

So, this year, my friend, contemplate about the “treasure in Heaven.” May be your plans have failed before because of your dependence on your powers and earthly bank account which time and again frustrates you with “insufficient funds.” If you truly want to succeed this year, renew and deepen your commitment to God and start drawing your money from the treasure He has stored for you in Heaven. If you do that, you will notice that your life will change and your goals will be fulfilled one by one.

WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT

What we call will come into our hands. Our actions draw so many things to us.

Beverly M. Collins, American poet

11

We sometimes take on paths in life that lead to self-destruction and by the time reality hits home, if it ever does, it may be too late to save ourselves. We each have our own ‘North Star’ or true destiny that distinguishes between your essential self, which will lead you there, and your social self, which usually distracts you. Unfortunately, the social self is sometimes given more importance because of societal pressures. If the essential self is ignored, it finds ways to be recognised – so what seems like selfsabotage may be in tune with your true desires in the long-term.

The true self becomes self-destructive only when it can’t endure what's happening: when it’s being starved, tortured and dragged away from your North Star. Aligning your life with your deepest sense of purpose is one of the most important steps in avoiding or recovering from self-destructive behaviours such as excessive drinking or taking into drugs or crime.

In order to come out of your self-destructive behaviours, you need to

Motivational Guide

change your life. And to change your life, you must learn to love yourself. Loving yourself is part of the healing process from a destructive behaviour. Healing requires you to release the pattern that has led to your present problem – but the problem itself is rarely the real issue.

Insecurity and self-doubt often are.

We often place our security on things that don’t really count. Your security is not your job, or your spouse, or your parents. Your security is your ability to connect with the cosmic power that creates all things. This brings you to a point of self-acceptance and belief and with these two in place you will not need friends, money or alcohol to feel secure or validate you.

Colour your life happy...

We all respond to colour and scientists have discovered that each colour sends a unique message to the brain, which affects our moods in different ways. If you make conscious use of colour on your environment and when you choose your clothes, you will bring out the best in yourself. These colour tips will tune you to thinking about how your clothes and

décor can enhance particular moods.

Red: Represents the body and is physically stimulating. Wear it for energy. Red can encourage confrontation in others, so take care.

Yellow: Relates to your ego and your emotions. Yellow is good for increasing optimism and creative confidence.

Orange: Relates to sex. Orange increases warmth, physical enjoyment and security. Wear it to lift your love life.

Green: Represents natural healing and balance. Wear green to restore your energies and inspire harmony in others.

Pink: Links us with our feminine, nurturing qualities. Wear it to attract some tender loving care (TLC).

Blue: Corresponds to our intellectual side and is logical, calm and soothing. Good for when you want to appear cool or when you want to do some serious thinking.

Purple: Represents spiritual awareness. Good for when you are looking inward and thinking of higher things.

How to keep your sanity when under stress

Have you ever been stressed to a point you almost felt you were losing your mind? If it happens again, then use these tips to help you stay sane.

Be self-aware: Self-awareness plays a significant role in maintaining one’s sanity. You need to know how you react to pressure in order to be in control of your actions and emotions. When going through stress, first acknowledge how you feel and then decide what you want to do. It is also important to know what your stress triggers are to be able to get yourself out of the stress cycle.

Find an outlet: Suppressed emotions are akin to a time bomb, which can explode at any given time. When stressed, do something that will leave you feeling refreshed and positive. It could be a walk, a heart-to-heart talk with a close friend, listening to music or even reading a book. Simply find something that relaxes you.

Face the elephant in the room: Escaping from life’s stresses is not the best way of dealing with them because they will eventually catch up with you. Be in the habit of solving problems as they arise instead of pushing them in the back burner. Seek help when need be.

Be your authentic self: Most often, many of the stresses we encounter are self-inflicted simply because we are doing things to please others. Learn to say no without feeling guilty and if need be, keep a small circle of friends who won’t pressure you to live life on the fast lane.

Words to Live By

When your behaviour is self destructive

First Aid

the Spirit Affection is never wasted. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, American poet

Women at risk of gym injuries

The number of women being injured using free weights in the gym is on the increase as more women take up this form of exercise. Research published in the American Journal of Sports Medicine shows that more women get gym injuries than men. Women are advised not to be like men and go all-out in the gym, trying to lift the heaviest weights. They should start slowly and be guided by an instructor to ensure correct form.

Avoid dehydration

The weatherman has warned us of hot days ahead. By all means avoid dehydration. You become dehydrated when more fluid is lost from your body than taken in, which causes an imbalance of important minerals such as sodium and potassium. These minerals are essential for muscle and nerve function.

If you lose one per cent of your bodyweight or more due to fluid loss, dehydration sets in. Mild dehydration can leave you feeling thirsty, but at the other end of the scale, severe dehydration can kill. If mildly dehydrated, you can suffer from a headache, dizziness and fatigue, while more severe dehydration

can result in a loss of skin elasticity, extreme thirst, lack of sweating, fast heartbeat and even lead to delirium and a loss of consciousness.

You lose around two and a half litres of water a day through breathing, sweating and waste removal. Always replace lost water by drinking and eating adequate amounts – at least two litres of fluid a day. Drink an extra litre of fluid for every hour you exercise, more if you are working out in a warm environment. If you are sweating intensely, make sure you replace lost electrolytes and salt with a sports drink or a homemade sugar and salt drink.

Breast is still best

Babies are healthier later in life if fed on breast milk only for the first six months of life and no solid food during this time. According to the British Medical Journal, studies show children fed like this have less respiratory illnesses, are leaner and have lower blood pressure. And if you want your baby to have real benefits, go organic if you are breastfeeding. Breast milk of mums eating organic meat and dairy is richer in the beneficial fatty acid conjugated linoleic acid (CLA).

Enjoy your cup of tea

Your cup of tea is bursting with health benefits. Tea is packed with free-radical-bursting antioxidants and studies have shown it can lower stress, plus boost the heart, teeth and bones. There are also specialty teas that can boost your immunity, increase energy levels, stimulate your metabolism and even help beat depression. Particularly good are Japanese herbal formulas, which you can get in supermarkets and health food stores.

Take the tools in your hand and curve your own life.

Douglas Lurton, Author of Positive Living

Monthly Mantra

Consideration… Being mindful of others

Yes, the season of love is with us again and there is nothing better than sharing this great gift with precious ones. With 2018 being the year of new beginnings, this is indeed the perfect time to dig a little deeper and reinvent how we show love to others.

American philosopher and pastor, Dr Gary Chapman, developed the five love languages – words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service and physical touch - to help people express and receive love. However, more often than not, we show love how we want to receive it rather than how the recipient needs it. For instance, because I love receiving affection then I will show my husband affection to communicate my love for him.

“What is wrong with this equation?” you must be asking. The answer lies in the fact that what you consider to be acts of love may completely be different to what the recipient has in mind. And that’s where consideration comes in.

Contrary to popular belief, human beings are innately considerate. However, as we mature, interests become more self-centered. Human nature supports both prosocial and selfish traits and uniquely varies based on parenting, culture and schooling. Considering others, therefore, is a skill we need to consciously and actively nurture.

A story is told of a marginalised community in Kenya where a non-profit organisation saw the need to build toilets with an aim of improving sanitation and disease prevention. However, months after the facilities were erected, the foreigners were jaw dropped to find them completely unused. Turns out in that specific community, men and women,

the old and the young could not all possibly share the same facilities as is not allowed in their culture. This situation could have very easily been avoided if the organisation took into consideration the beliefs of that community.

So how can we be more considerate? Firstly, it is important to note that there is a difference between caring and consideration. It is possible to care about somebody and fail to consider their feelings, needs and values as in the case given above. That being said, the way to being more considerate is to listen more with the intention to understand.

Listening is arguably one of the most difficult things to do in the communication process. Founding figure in the discipline of listening, Dr Ralph Nichols, quantified that we spend 40 per cent of our day listening to others and of that 40, we retain only 25 per cent most of which is under attack from daydreaming, distractions and competitive listening – assuming what the other person is saying is wrong.

Take time to really listen to people and understand what they are saying. On the flip side, don’t always say the first thing that comes to your mind. It is important to speak your mind, but speaking just to be heard does nobody any good. So, before you speak, ask yourself – is it kind? Is it necessary? Is it true?

During this Valentine season, pay special attention to your relationship with others. Be alive to the feelings, wants and needs of those around you and choose to act on that information.

Reflections

Really big people are, above

everything else, courteous, considerate and generous – not just to some people in some circumstances – but also to everyone all the time.

ThomasJ.WatsonJr.(1914–1993),Americanbusinessmanand philanthropist

Being considerate of others will take your children further in life than any college degree.

MarianWrightEdelman, African-American activist

We who are strong must be considerate of those who are sensitive about things like this. We must not please ourselves.

Romans15:1(NewLiving Translation)

Today I bent the truth to be kind, and I have no regret, for I am far surer of what is kind than I am of what is true.

RobertBrault,Americanauthor

A moment of consideration often prevents a thousand apologies.

KevinJ.Anderson,American science fiction author

Half of the secret of getting along with people is consideration of their values: the other half is tolerance in one’s own views.

DanielFrohman(1851-1940), American theatrical producer and manager

Your thoughts

Kenya would be a better place if we were all just more mindful of others.

RyanNjenga,Driver

Laughter can save your life

Having a good chuckle every day could save your life. Thirty minutes of laughter daily could reduce your risk of a heart attack, according to a study done in the US. The yearlong research on diabetes patients had volunteers watch half an hour of comedy programmes a day. Compared to a control group, those getting extra laughs saw a 26 per cent rise in the good (HDL) cholesterol and a 66 per cent drop in their levels of C-reactive proteins, which increase heart disease risk. Fancy some laughter therapy? What about Churchill Show or other comedy shows on multiple TV channels? What about having a joke cracking Friday with your friends or finding something to laugh about in every situation? Laughter is still the best medicine.

Cancer cases on the rise

Too much sun, alcohol, smoking, pollution and food are fueling a huge rise in cancer cases. Cases of the skin cancer melanoma are on the rise, while mouth, womb; colon and kidney cancers have also shown rapid increases. Research shows half of all cancers could be prevented by lifestyle changes.

Help for women suffering from incontinence

An incredible number of women over the age of 30 suffer from light adult incontinence (LAI), but it’s still so taboo to talk about it. Many women would rather suffer in silence than talk about their incontinence, even to their partners, and many more with the problem have not sought help from a medical professional. The message to all women is: whatever the degree of your condition, you should talk to someone and get help to manage the problem.

Often caused by childbirth, particularly when labour is prolonged, there are steps you can take to overcome LAI. Doing pelvic-floor strengthening exercises correctly, drinking plenty of water, practicing breathing exercises and acupuncture have all been shown to improve symptoms. Using a discreet and specialist pad recommended by a doctor can also help reduce anxiety. See a doctor for help if you have the condition. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.

Fight nail fungus

Crumbly, yellowing toenails – signs of a fungal infection – are not something you want to show off and so you wear closed shoes all the time. Fungal infections can be treated with prescription anti-fungal medication but your doctor will most likely not prescribe them, as they are not recommended. Long-term course of anti-fungal medication is often required and this carries a risk of liver damage so your doctor is likely to suggest topical fungicides. You could also treat yourself with the juice of fresh Aloe Vera or buy a gel that contains it. Aloe Vera is easy to grow in your garden and is a useful remedy for many health problems such as burns, scratches, and skin eruptions, and also for calming an irritable bowel.

The Many Faces Of EMMY KOSGEI MADUBUKO

Singer Emmy Kosgei Madubuko’s music career and private life have always played out in the limelight. However, time and consistency have proven to be her vindication. In a recent trip to Kenya, she spoke to ESTHER AKELLO on the power of choice and remaining her own woman, that controversial photo of her kneeling before her husband, her plan for Kenya’s global domination in the tourism circuit and her passion to effect societal change.

It’s been seven years since the vivacious Emmy Kosgei released her smash album Taunet Nelel. Her single, also titled the same, became a massive hit transcending, nay, shattering Kenyan musical charts and inadvertently, tribal and social barriers in ways some artistes and politicians only dream of. In between those years, the former background vocalist has won herself numerous awards, and released other successful albums proving that this village girl (as she describes herself) did not come to play.

She also got married to her Nigerian husband, now of five years, Apostle Anselm Madubuko of Revival Assembly Church and moved to Nigeria reducing her airtime on the local scene immensely. In fact, since her marriage in 2013, although she has released a couple of singles with her latest collaboration Subiri Bwana with Mercy Masika and Evelyn Wanjiru raking up rave reviews in the local charts, Emmy has not released an album but not for lack of trying.

In addition to the unfortunate passing on of her producer John Nyika, Emmy reveals that she got busy with marriage, new appointments, and emerging ministries. Contrary to popular belief that she is just a singer, Emmy wears many hats and juggles them all accordingly.

Emmy the homemaker…

Five years into her marriage, Emmy says she has never experienced love like she does with her husband. It is interesting to note that her husband is her second romantic relationship ever.

“Anselm is very mature and has a clean heart. He doesn’t hold grudges and loves everything about me. He also prays for me and corrects me tenderly, always has my back and gives me confidence. He tells me even if we were not married, he would still love me,” she professes.

In addition to prayer, something she says has been so key in her marriage - the winning formulae for the couple - has been lack of competition between each other. Both are very successful in their respective areas of interest and careers.

“When I was getting into relationships, one of the things I was keen on was that my partner would love me for me. Not my status. Anselm and I understand each other so much, there’s no room for conflict or misunderstanding. If we decide to undertake something and I am not pleased, I can voice my displeasure. This is something we cultivated way before our marriage. He would always tell me, ‘Talk to me. Tell me anything even if its silly’ and that has helped us. When you meet us you’d think it’s a hoax but we really don’t fight over things. We communicate a lot and our faith helps. We both just desire to better the Kingdom of God,” she explains.

In November 2017, Emmy posted a photo of her kneeling in front of her husband on Instagram. The picture prompted quite a furore online with women saying that it was akin to lowering oneself. The topic is a sensitive one. Just last month, Oxfam International executive director Ugandan Winnie Byanyima caused a storm when she tweeted that the culture was not only outdated, but also humiliating to women and despite it being looked at as a sign of respect, society only imposes it on women.

Emmy has stuck to her guns as far as the practice is concerned. “I don’t blame people for the criticism I received. My behaviour stems from how I was raised and what I observed from my own parents. I’ve grown up in the village, watching how my mum and dad lived,” she explains.

Emmy also adds that it is not a requirement, but a choice. “I didn’t pose for that photo neither did I do it for show. It’s a personal commitment. I do it in public and in private. I

Emmy’s husband Anselm Madubuko Photo/ Courtesy

decided to be a typical African woman and I’m totally sold out in my marriage. I oil his head. I comb his hair. I have staff, who can do just about everything for us but I cook and make it my basic responsibility to serve him. It is how I show my love to him,” she says.

Emmy equates the move to humility, adding that it does not take anything away from her. Instead, she offers, it makes her a better woman and wife. “Unfortunately, some people equate humility with weakness. That is not the case at all. Serving my husband is not because I’m looking for his money or begging for his love. I’m cultivating it. I still get to play my role as the church first lady, singer Emmy Kosgei and so on. It doesn’t make me weak, I do it from my heart,” she explains.

Aside from being a wife, Emmy is also a mother and a grandmother, a role she relishes. She is step-mother to Anselm’s three children, Velma, Sandra and Anselm Jr. “When I was getting married and joining my new family and church, I was really scared. However, it has worked out. Both divides have accepted me. My stepchildren respect me and call me mum. I don’t take it for granted. Their children also refer to me as grandma, even though I’m a grandmother before becoming a mum myself,” she adds fondly.

Does that mean she is never going to have any children of her own?

“I didn’t get married just because I wanted to have kids. Relationships are about unions and destinies. If you are attached to the wrong person, it can affect your destiny permanently. I’m also very busy. Personally, we are not under any pressure to have children but yes, I hope to have my own child one day,” she says.

That being said, with the office of marriage, other roles came calling.

Emmy the minister…

While the assertion is that women tend to lose their identity and cling on to being identified as wives, the pressure on pastoral wives is even greater. However, Emmy insists that she has not lost her identity. She does have her own ministry (music) but she is

cognizant of the fact she also has new roles, and even some of her older ones, have been amplified.

“We both have our own established ministries and careers and since we travel a lot, we always synchronise our diaries. I also support my husband and my office as first lady of Revival Assembly Cathedral. So if he is preaching somewhere and he wants me to come along, I will go. I will pray with and for him and I will also sing. If I’m not needed, I’m free to pursue my interests,” she expounds, adding, “When somebody loves you truly, they’ll support you, they want the best for you. We are hoping to have a homecoming of sorts this year, so to speak. Now that Anselm has a connection to Kenya, his team is making plans for a conference and of course I will be performing.”

Emmy adds that she has more speaking engagements as well. “I have grown so much especially in my faith, fear and love for God. I preach. I talk to people a lot more either in inspirational talks, preaching and even counselling. Things I never thought about before,” she says.

In addition to her speaking engagements, Emmy has also finally finished putting together her sixth album - her first since relocating to Nigeria. “I’d never go more than two years without releasing an album. However, after my producer passed on, I tried working with other producers but it proved difficult to replicate the musical chemistry that we had. I did find someone at last and so while I’d written the songs, I could only record a few at a time. The album is a departure from what I’ve traditionally done, but I believe my fans will see more facets of my musical sound,” she explains.

The album also features collaborations with other artistes like Mercy Masika and Evelyn Wanjiru and even a few Swahili and Igbo ones as well with renown Nigerian artists like Ighosa Ono and Sinach.

Emmy the cultural ambassador and peacemaker…

Weaving culture with everyday life is Emmy’s forte, one whose power even the Kenyan government kowtowed to. In 2013, the Ministry of Tourism appointed her a cultural ambassador.

“Representing Kenya and Kenyan

culture is natural for me, with or without the appointment. However, my job is one of the things I have come to love as service to my country. I’ve won a lot of awards, just because of how I choose to brand myself and represent my country, Kenya,” she offers.

Her role also means she always has to be on stand by for any event organised by the Ministry. So while she may not be actively in the public eye, Emmy travels to Kenya 10 to 20 times a year for concerts, corporate and national events.

“Kenya is more than wildlife. How about attending festivals, enjoying Kenyan food? It is also key for counties to hone in on the special aspects of their localities and package them,” she expounds.

Some of her favourite events include the Tastes of the World Festival in Dallas, USA, The Heritage Festival in Canada and the Majuu Festival in Atlanta, USA. Majuu Festival focuses on American-born Kenyan children who have never visited home. The children are challenged to pick a community different from theirs and make presentations about that community’s cultural practices.

“The initiative aims to make them know and understand their heritage. Some children ask me if we live in huts or if we have electricity just because of poor perceptions of Africa. We want to build an eager generation of Kenyans in diaspora who are interested in their culture. The earlier you do it, the better,” she explains.

Perhaps her passion also stems from

the fact that for seven years now, Emmy has been hosting the Pamoja Festival in Eldoret, which emphasises the fact that Kenya’s strength is actually in her diversity.

“I realised that if people don’t even understand Kalenjin music yet listen to it, then I had Kenyans’ ears. It is our work to show that one can use their ethnic background positively. There are some things that only your community can shape, so be proud of who you are, where you’re from and to use it positively. Unfortunately, we live in an era where there is a lot of victimisation once people realise what your tribe is,” she says.

This and the fact that she realised that her fans cut across different regions also prompted her to stop performing at political rallies. “As my status grew, I realised that I had influence over my audience. Wisdom dictated that in a time of tension, I should encourage people to support who they want,” she discloses.

Despite challenges such as lack of sponsors, Emmy has been consistent in holding the free concert at the dawn of every New Year in Eldoret.

“The irony is sponsors don’t want to be associated with peace concerts. They only want to come in after chaos. Eldoret is my musical base, as well as a hot spot for election violence despite being cosmopolitan. We invite different artistes and leaders as well. Attainable peace is everybody’s responsibility and it takes long-term effort, one I’m committed to. However, if you exclude the leadership, you won’t get far. I was so happy that for

the first time in a long time, Eldoret was very peaceful during the 2017 elections. Our efforts bore fruit,” she emphasises. Emmy the philanthropist…

Emmy runs a school, Hope Academy, in Baringo, which caters for 76 children from needy families. In 2017, the first batch of KCPE candidates sat for their exams. “I picked the students from the time they were in baby class to class 8. We started from zero, and I pay for everything for them, from books to uniforms. I take them to my events, I do tours for them and take them to places normally they wouldn’t have thought of going,” she says.

Emmy is also a good will ambassador for a centre for children with disability in Korogocho slums in Nairobi.

“When I tell them that my dad is in a wheelchair, but he still went to school, albeit at the ripe age of 21, they are astounded. I encourage them to believe in themselves. My dad was poor and depended on goodwill to get an education. Now he is working on his doctorate,” she says, obviously proud of his achievement.

“When I started singing, I was in it for the love of music. The first time I stood before a crowd, I was shaking. Now I understand purpose. We are not just here to exist. Regardless of where I am, I have achieved more than I imagined. Knowing that I have more responsibility has also helped me to ask God to help me be where I need to be, and fit into that category,” she concludes.

DR OLIVER WALA

Dentist with passion to serve

When you think of cosmetic and general dentistry, Dr Oliver Wala’s name is bound to come up through his private practice - Family Dentistry - a dental clinic he started in 2001. A youthful man with over 22 years of experience, Dr Wala has broken barriers and paved way for young dentists to thrive in an experience-based sector. He speaks to JOANNE GICHANA.

When Dr Oliver Wala started his own dental practice after working for 4 years at AIC Kijabe Mission Hospital, he was well aware of the challenges of being a new and young dentist in a field where experience sells. Not to mention the heavy financial burden of opening up a start-up, as well as the uphill battle of developing a sizeable client list to help sustain the business.

But by grace, friends and family came through for the ambitious dentist and he opened the Family Dentistry clinic in Hurlingham at the Nairobi Women’s Hospital. “We started small. It was basically just my wife and I,” he says.

His wife, Sarah Wala, was at the time a nurse and she stepped up for her husband and supported him through and through. Since then, the clinic has grown and expanded to a fully equipped state-of-the-art clinic and Dr Wala is grateful to God for it has been one journey of faith for him and his family.

How was working with his wife? “It was very comfortable for me because I knew I could trust her completely. We had a great working atmosphere and relationship,” he says, revealing that she is currently pursuing other interests.

The couple has two children - a 10-year-old boy named Sam, and a 17-and-a-half-year-old girl named Joy. He is glad he chose dentistry as his area of specialisation because it has allowed him to spend time with his family, something he deems very important.

“I work eight to five because I really want to spend time with my family in the evenings,” he says.

When Dr Wala first started out, his age was a bit of a problem for some because he was 23. Kenyans have a tendency to rely on more seasoned medical practitioners because we assume with age comes experience. For Dr Wala it was no different but luckily, there were a few who took a chance on him and put the trust of their oral health into his able hands.

“I feel everybody deserves a chance and I thank God for the patients who put their trust in me,” he says. Indeed he has found that once people get his services, they tend to stay loyal to him and often spread the word like bushfire.

“I currently mentor upcoming dentists because I know the struggles one goes through initially when they first come into private practice,” he says.

How it all began…

Born in Mombasa, Dr Wala was raised alongside his seven siblings – three boys and four girls. He completed his primary schooling at Loreto Convent Primary School, Mombasa, and thereafter proceeded to Shimo La Tewa Secondary School. He undertook A-levels at St Patrick’s Boys School, Iten.

It was at St Patrick’s that his inclination to the medical field was sparked. “The subjects I selected gravitated me towards medicine, and specifically dentistry” he says.

And so it was that he enrolled into the University of Nairobi to pursue a

Bachelors degree in Dentistry. “From high school, there was a gap of about three months and I just knew that I needed to join campus to achieve my career objectives as quickly as possible,” he says.

Why the hurry? Well, the obvious reason would be that medicine, in general, takes plenty of time to train and practice to the point of expertise, but even so, being that Dr Wala had gone through the 7-4-2-3 system, he felt that he had been in school for too long already. “Dentistry took four years, so I thought it would be a good idea to take the short course and finish as quickly as possible,” he says.

His conviction for dentistry, despite not having interacted with it before, is very inspiring because not many people looking to join campus are as decisive down to the area of specialisation, as he was. It seems his ability to decide quickly was a huge factor in his current success as he had an early lead over his peers.

But as it turned out, the course was not nearly as smooth sailing as he had anticipated. “It was quite challenging,” he says, “The course itself is quite involving and I had totally underestimated how difficult it was going to be.”

His family, like many Kenyans, initially misunderstood dentistry as a field of medicine, and struggled with the idea of such a specialised course. “The concept that people have of dental treatment in Kenya is simply extraction, but it is so much more than that. I really thank God for my family’s support and the fact that they stood by me through it all,” he says.

Dr Wala reveals that there are not too many dentists in Kenya at the moment but reckons the country has come a long way in this field as more and more individuals are taking up dentistry as their line of training. He says despite the fact that the recommended World Health Organization (WHO) ratio of dentists to the general population is 1:2000 against the 1:150000 experienced in most African countries like Kenya, Dr Wala notes that there has been a significant increase in students getting training in dentistry.

“I believe that ratio will be bridged in the next five to 10 years,” says Dr. Wala.

The dentist notes that Kenyans have increasingly become aware of the importance of preserving their teeth regardless of the looming universal fear of dental procedures. “Things have changed. The injection is less painful and there are other options like sedation –the act of administering a sedative drug

to produce a state of calm and sleep,” he explains.

After his four years of training, Dr Wala did a one-year internship at Kenyatta National Hospital and then later went to work at AIC Kijabe Mission Hospital for four years. The hospital experience was different as he was also on call for emergency situations most of which were of school-going children.

“This was basically my residency because I got most of my work experience there,” says Dr Wala.

What keeps him going?

Dr Wala’s passion for what he does is evident in the way he runs his clinic. He has heavily invested in technology, ensuring to keep up with the latest procedures and materials. “You really must have an interest in dentistry to be a good dentist. You really need to be convicted and convinced that this is what you want to do,” he says, adding that he gets a lot of gratification from cosmetic dentistry - dental work that improves the appearance of teeth, gums and/or bite.

Aside from this, Dr Wala takes servant leadership very seriously. The focus of his

work is not based on himself as a service provider, but rather on his patients and giving them the best possible oral care that he can give. Above and beyond the Hippocratic oath – an oath historically taken by physicians – Dr Wala feels it is of the uttermost importance not to shift the focus to the service provider.

“When it comes to medicine, it is important to realise that it is not about the doctor but about the patient,” he says emphatically.

But more importantly, he is strongly aligned with his faith and holds it dear in his personal and professional life. This quality is seen so clearly in the way he speaks and the way he explains his life’s story.

“I am saved. I am a practicing Christian,” he so firmly declares before concluding: “My faith has helped me be more compassionate and to treat people the way I would like to be treated, but above all it has given me a sense of ethics and morality that has kept me serving my patients. I could say this is my ministry because it is an extension of me. I want what I do to reflect what I believe and that has always been my objective.”

Words Of Wisdom

You really must have an interest in dentistry to be a good dentist...

The friend who holds your hand and says the wrong thing is made of dearer stuff than the one who stays away.

Barbara Kingsolver, American novelist

Different types of toilet seats

Toilet decorations have become an integral part of home décor and a classy toilet seat can have a huge effect on your toilet’s feel, look and shape. Due to personal preferences, toilets seats do not come in a standard size. Here is a quick overview of toilet seats and what you need to consider when choosing one.

Atoilet seat is a hinged unit consisting of a round or oval open seat, and usually a lid, which is bolted onto the bowl of a toilet used in a sitting position. The seat can be either for a flush toilet or a dry toilet.

Toilet seats have two basic parts: a top that covers the toilet and a seat that's contoured for comfort. Both parts connect to a hinge for easy cleaning. The seats come in a variety of colours and base materials including wood, steel, porcelain and plastic to accommodate decorating schemes. Designs differ with changes that appeal to individual tastes. Here are some listed types of toilets seats.

Standard toilet seats: A standard toilet seat can be contemporary or traditional in style, and can come in a variety of materials and finishes. They are easy to fit and can suit a wide

variety of bathrooms.

Soft close toilet seats: These types of seats are designed to provide a gentle closing mechanism for the seat and lid, so that it doesn’t bang against the bowl if you let go. Besides adding a feeling of luxury, it is a good idea for family bathrooms, helping to avoid trapped fingers.

Thermoplastic

(polypropylene): This is one of the most popular materials for contemporary toilet seats and provides an attractive, shiny look, which is an unbreakable, hardwearing finish that’s easy to clean.

Thermoset: The thermoset is a deluxe polymer material that’s durable and hardwearing. It is a high quality material and aesthetically looks like ceramic. By knocking against the seat, you can easily differentiate a thermoset seat from a thermoplastic seat. It sounds deeper and less plastic. It is the ultimate choice for a stylish, contemporary toilet seat.

Solid wood: This is a great choice for more traditional bathrooms, and comes in a choice of finishes to suit your style, including plain white and natural oak. The seats are often made of wood or bamboo, which are natural products that can deviate from colour and texture. Due to a multiple-layer coating, a hygienic, easy-to-clean surface is ensured, one that also keeps its natural look. Oak, pine and mahogany are among the types of wood often used for wooden seats.

Family toilet seat (quick release mechanism): Cleaning your toilet seat can often be tricky and sometimes unpleasant. Many of our seats come with a quick release mechanism, which allows you to easily remove the seat from its hinges for simple yet thorough maintenance.

Basic circular seats: Circular seats are very traditional and used frequently for home bathrooms. The seat goes completely around without any gap in the front. Most circular toilet seats come in white, but contemporary designs also offer coloured options and prints including florals.

Open front: Open front toilet seats are common both in the home and in public restrooms. The seat looks like a horseshoe. There is some debate over why the horseshoe design developed as some individuals say it protects the toilet from drips during male urination, while others claim it safeguards people from spreading disease since the genitals do not touch that area.

Raised toilet seats: People who have posture issues are beneficiaries of such toilets. Many individuals with various medications and sleeping devices need raised toilet seats to offer them support. Tall people also purchase these seats to help them install a toilet that is commensurate to their height.

If you choose to make your ceiling the focal point in the space, make sure the lighting can handle the challenge...

ARCH. LEE KARURI

Entrepreneur with a heart of gold

Fifty-four-year old Lee Karuri is an architect, business leader and entrepreneur who always aims to inspire, help and improve the lives of others. He is also passionate about Kenya’s and Africa’s socio-economic growth. The astute entrepreneur speaks to LILY RONOH-WAWERU on his rise and impacting lives through his passion and creativity.

Architect Lee Karuri aptly describes himself as a real estate developer, business leader, architect, father, family man and a born again Christian. On religion, he attests that it is the centre that holds everything together in his life.

His may not be a household name in Kenya, but his influence goes beyond Kenyan borders. At 54 years of age, Karuri has achieved so much and one would expect him to slow down but as things stand, it’s as if he is just starting out.

Humble beginnings…

The present Karuri is a far cry from the boy who was born and raised in Central Kenya. His parents were teachers who were keen to impact virtues such as discipline and time management to their

children.

“My father rose from being a primary teacher to a university lecturer. My mother was not left behind as she was also studying as she raised us up. Understandably, they valued education and they impressed this upon us,” recalls Karuri who is an Alliance Boys High School alumna.

Another virtue he picked from his parents and which he now espouses is measured spending. “We were 11 siblings and all of us depended on our parents’ meagre income. My parents’ salary was stretched to the limit so we had to do with needs as well as sharing what was available,” he says.

Life would take a turn for the worse for young Karuri when his father passed on 1984 just as he, Karuri, was about

to join the University of Nairobi for a five-year architectural course.

“My father had been ailing for quite sometime and he finally succumbed to his illness. Needless to say, the burden of raising 11 children fell on my mother. To make matters worse, my parents hadn’t built a home as they were staying at the university’s staff quarters. After my father’s death, we had to think and move fast as we were only given three months to vacate the university’s premises. Luckily, my parents had bought a piece of land in Nanyuki and although it was far flung and without any amenities, we had no choice but to put up a semi permanent structure and move in,” explains the third born of his siblings.

So Karuri reported to the University of Nairobi with the full knowledge that education was his only way out of the poverty they were in. Now an adult, he had to find means of eking out a living in order to not only assist his mother who was crumbling under the burden of school fees, but also for his own use. An entrepreneur

is born…

But it was not all books for Karuri as he also took an interest in extra-curricular activity and specifically music. Together with a group of friends, he formed a musical group where they performed for students and in cultural events. This enabled him to make a few coins here and there. He also took to painting and would sell his artworks at the Goethe Institute. It is in the process of marketing his paintings that he realised that he was a natural entrepreneur. He decided to put this newfound trait into good use.

“I teamed up with a course mate, Chema Katua, and we started making scale models and perspective illustrations for buildings. We looked for established architects and offered to do the two for them at a fee. We started with one firm and over time we had captured a number of clients because we were so good at what we did and kept to deadlines. Chema and I even managed to buy cars while still in university. The dean of students then offered us an unused room, which we turned into an office. By the time we were graduating, we already had job offers from Symbion Architects and Interior designers,” he recollects.

So while other students cleared university unsure of their next step, Karuri and his friend drove to their place of work where Karuri worked for two years before moving to another firm in search of growth. At the second firm, Karuri would stay for another two years. Confident that they had had enough

experience to venture on their own, Karuri and Katua once again teamed up to form their own architectural firm – Dimensions Architect and Interior Designers – in 1994. It was a bold move considering the political and socio-economic situation then did not favour businesses.

“We rented a small office space, hired a secretary and a draughtsman and we hit the road seeking clients. The economic situation in the country was not the best and we struggled to get business. Some months were so bad that my wife, Consolata Karuri, had to bail us out,” he narrates.

Not one to wait for opportunities to knock at his door, Karuri and his team decided to venture out of the Kenyan market and looked to Uganda for clients. Luckily, they had a friend in Uganda who helped them find their footing and when they did, there was no looking back. Dimensions Architects and Interior Designers took a life of its own and within no time and with a fair share of challenges, they had set up another office in Rwanda. They also ventured into the Tanzanian market where they have done and continue to do a number of projects. As we speak, Dimensions Architects and Interior Designers is one of the top architectural firms in the region with imprints in Kenya, Uganda, Tanzania and Rwanda.

Ever seeking growth, Karuri teamed with a group of friends to start a real estate company Home Afrika, which is listed in the Nairobi Securities Exchange. He served as its chairman until two years ago when he left to start another company – Resorts and Cities.

“Home Afrika handles large scale

real estate projects. Currently, they are constructing Migaa Golf Resorts in Kiambu County, which is a residential gated community sitting on 774 acres of land. I left Migaa to start Resorts and Cities together with my wife and another couple – James and Sophia Wathigo. I am the executive chairman while the rest of the members are directors,” he expounds.

Karuri explains that Resorts and Cities was built with an aim of developing new resorts and cities. Some of their flagship projects include Longonot Gate in Naivasha, Nakuru County, and Makuyu Ridges in Murang’a County.

“Longonot Gate is built on 2,400 acres land while Makuyu Ridges sits on 1,000 acres. Both will have golf courses and social amenities such as schools and hospitals. These will be cosmopolitan cities that can be used as holiday homes or even permanent homes,” he says.

Transformative leadership…

Karuri is big on transforming the places he goes to and the people he meets. With this in mind, it is easy to understand the many hats he has worn and continues to wear. For instance, while serving as the director of Dimensions Architects and Interior Designers (he currently sits on the board and ceased playing an active role), he became chairman of the Architectural Association of Kenya. A position he held from 1998 to 2001.

This position allowed him to network with individuals both within and without the Kenyan boarders. He thereafter became a fellow - a revered, honorary position that marks the highest level of membership of the

Architectural Association of Kenya. He is currently the chairman of the College of Fellows whose role is to guide, oversee as well as ensure that the industry standards are adhered to and maintained.

For the last decade or so, Karuri has been a member of several organisations that champion Kenya’s development agenda.

“I was among the founding members of Kenya Private Sector Alliance (KEPSA) the umbrella body of the business community in Kenya where I served as its second chairman after the founding chairman, Dr Manu Chandaria, handed over the baton. I currently serve in the Board of Trustees of KEPSA foundation, which is a subsidiary of KEPSA,” he offers.

From 2006 to 2008, Karuri served as a member of the national steering committee that engineered Kenya’s Development Vision 2030. He was also instrumental in the formulation of the Economic Recovery Strategy that formed the basis of the country’s growth and socio-economic development agenda.

Not only that, he has also served as chairman for the Danish Advocacy Fund for Kenya Private Sector Development and on the board of Transparency International (TI) Kenya Chapter that champion’s good governance and integrity in the management of public affairs. For all his efforts, the former President H.E Mwai Kibaki awarded him with the Order of the Grand Warrior (OGW) in 2004.

Karuri the family man…

Karuri has been married to Consolata for the past 28 years. The couple met while they were both studying at the University of Nairobi. They have been blessed with two children whom they work together with. “This is part of our succession planning as we want our children to take over once we hang up the boots,” he explains.

Keen on transforming and empowering communities, the Karuris founded Mwangaza Trust, which supports vulnerable families in education, food security and economic empowerment. Currently, the trust has sponsored over 150 students with 22 of them having graduated from college.

Last but not least, Karuri serves as a trustee of Parklands Baptist Church, Nairobi, where he worships.

How does he manage to balance all these? “Through self-discipline, time management, strategic planning and team work. I am also solution-oriented and have a positive outlook in life,” concludes the man whose main motivation is to see lives transformed.

Standing: Karuri’s children Diana and William. Sitting: Karuri and his wife Consolata

CECILIA WAINAINA The lonely road of widowhood

Cecilia Wairimu Wainaina, 37, understands what it means to be widowed at a young age. She lost her husband of 11 years when she was 30 years old and it took her time to adjust to her new status as a widow. She narrates her lonely walk of widowhood and the challenges she has to contend with to HENRY KAHARA.

Igot married at 20 years, which was immediately after finishing form four. At that time, I was working at the Export Processing Zone (EPZ) as a casual labourer,” Cecilia starts off the interview.

After three months of living together, Cecilia, together with her now husband, visited her parents in Kiambu to let them know about their marriage. Unfortunately, according to Cecilia, her parents didn’t like the fact that she got married outside her community.

“My parents were not happy with the decision of marrying early and also getting married by a man who hailed from a different community. Since I loved my husband, I decided to stick with him despite my dad’s disapproval,” she says, revealing that her father had high hopes with her, which included Cecilia proceeding with higher education before going into marriage.

After a year, the couple was blessed with their first child and six years later their second child arrived.

Just like any other marriage, theirs too had its share of problems but the fact that they loved each other kept them going. “My husband was a businessman in Nairobi and his earnings were not much and so sometimes we struggled to make ends meet,” she acknowledges.

One morning, her husband requested her to escort him to work, which she did. Little did she know that would be the last time she would see him alive.

“I escorted him to the bus stop and we waved at each other with hopes of

catching up in the evening, but guess what? He didn’t come back. I waited for him and called some of his friends but no one seemed to know his whereabouts,” she says.

It was at this point that Cecilia decided to call her husband’s relatives and they launched a campaign to look for him. Three days later, they found his body at the City Mortuary. Apparently, he had been hit by a vehicle and died on the spot.

This was a trying moment for her but she was immensely courageous in her grief, staying calm and elegant, and managing to comfort all her family and friends, but she didn’t know what she would be facing in the days and weeks ahead.

“We planned for his burial and eventually laid him to rest at his home in Western Kenya. Some of my family members accompanied me for the burial and we came back the same day,” she recollects.

Living from hand to mouth…

Her husband’s death left her feeling lost, alone, frightened, disoriented and angry, but she managed to gather courage to rise again. “Coming back to a house without him was the first realisation that he was truly gone. I felt I had not only lost the love of my life but also the meaning of life,” she says, adding that her husband was an intricate part of her being.

Cecilia says that she couldn’t even take a few days off to process what had just happened to her as she had bills to pay and children to take care of. She thus started a grocery kiosk with the little savings she had in the hope that it would help meet her family’s needs, but that was not to be. The business failed.

She had to look for another option and fast. This saw her bow to pressure from a lady friend of hers who was a prostitute. “I remember that woman literally came for me in my house as she had already organised a deal for me. She took me to a club in town but being a staunch Christian, I turned down the offer at the last minute. I couldn’t sell my body, as desperate as I was. I left the club and went back to my house and to my children,” she says sobbing. She thanks God for giving her the will power to overcome this temptation.

Her life became unbearable, as her take-home from the few businesses she engaged in would not match her bills - a situation she says drained her completely both mentally and physically. She points the season as one of the toughest in her entire life.

“When life became very hard, I remember at one point befriending a man who had lost his wife. The man wanted to marry me and unbeknown to me, he was sick. He had lived for 20 years with the sickness and had lost three wives,” she says.

Luckily, Cecilia had not slept with him for the few months they were together. Immediately she realised the man’s status, she broke off the relationship. In 2014, Cecilia went to stay with her parents in their Kiambu County home.

She then enrolled for a course in counselling, HIV and phlebotomy thereafter got an internship with AIC Kijabe Mission Hospital. Where she is currently serving as an assistant nurse. According to Cecili Kijambe was like a home for her as the job not only gave her an income but also comfort of mind.

Cecilia points out that life is not easy for single parents and especially widows as they not only lack people to share bills with, but also their emotions.

“When you are married, you get a person to share with your mind and any other issue that may be bothering you but for a widow you are on your own. It’s even worse when children are young. I was 30 years old when my husband died and he left me with two children,” she says.

Cecilia says every year hundreds of women and men are thrust into the unenviable title of widow and widower and thereby forced to learn how to cope on their own after years of sharing life’s chores with another. Some have the help of grown children or friends who live nearby, but even then, they are not always prepared to tackle tasks their late spouses used to handle.

She reckons that there is need for a good support mechanism for widows and widowers, as sometimes the pressure is too much for them. Cecilia says that it’s ironical that places where such women can get support no longer exist and if they do, the integrity of the people holding the offices is questionable.

“Widows cannot find comfort even in church as some pastors want to sleep with them. I have moved from one church to another as once you share your problem with an elder, he wants you to be his ‘friend’,” she says.

She reveals that in other instances, married women have

become too protective of their husbands where they perceive widows as threats. Although Cecilia would like to get married again she says she is committed to looking at issues affecting widows and helping where she can.

“Most of the times widows pass through hell and they don’t have a shoulder to lean on. I would like to start a support group where such women can meet and share experiences as they encourage each other,” she reveals.

She encourages single women to learn to work with their own hands since there is a blessing that accompanies faithfulness.

“I know the reason why married women don’t want to see us near their husbands is because of the stories they have heard and misconceptions and stereotypes also abound. As widows, it is only us who can change the perception that we are a threat to families by living responsibly,” she points out.

She says that currently, the society doesn’t have respect for widows as it used to be the case before. “It reached a point I stopped telling people I am a widow because of the discrimination I got,” she says.

Apart from working as a counsellor, Cecilia does farming. “After securing a job, I started leasing land for farming and it’s giving me some good returns,” she says, revealing she rents a piece of land at Ksh3,000 for a year.

CALEB NDAKA Taking computer lessons to kids in rural areas

When Caleb Ndaka sat his Kenya Certificate of Secondary Education in 2003, he wanted to be an engineer. Unfortunately, he missed the cut off grades for university entry, meaning he couldn’t realise his dream. Since his family didn’t have resources to pay for a parallel course in a private university, Caleb retreated back to his village.

At home, he did odd jobs to eke a living as he waited for something to come his way. Four years elapsed and nothing was forthcoming. However, in 2007 while perusing a local daily newspaper, he came across an advert from Jomo Kenyatta University of Agriculture and Technology (JKUAT). They were offering a certificate course in Information Technology (IT).

Although Caleb didn’t know what the course entailed, he decided to apply, as he had the required qualification. “I applied and secured admission at the university. With the help of an uncle, we managed to raise the needed fee of Ksh30,000,” says Caleb.

After completing his certificate course, he went for internship and thereafter proceeded for a diploma course as well as a Bachelors degree. It was while he was pursuing his Bachelors degree that the idea of starting a kid’s computer camp sprout.

He named the camp Kids Comp Camp, which is an initiative that seeks to help Africa’s underserved communities improve livelihoods through technology and entrepreneurship.

“I sold the idea to my friends as we were hanging out in Kitengela and they embraced it. The initial plan was to visit the interior parts of Kenya and train children computer skills,” says Caleb, noting that he knew most children from the countryside were unexposed to technology.

According to Caleb, most African pupils leave school without computer skills and yet it’s estimated that 10 years from today, there will be more than 1.4 million computer-related jobs.

“Today’s world is run by technology hence the need to prepare our children for the global market,” says Caleb.

Caleb Ndaka, 31, knows well the importance of computer knowledge in the 21st century. It is with this in mind that the JKUAT alumna has started an organisation, Kids Comp Camp, to train kids and youth from rural areas computer skills. He spoke to HENRY KAHARA of his accomplishments and future plans.

It was easy starting out as Caleb and his friends already had laptops and all they needed was to approach schools and sell them the idea. “We first visited Masii Township Academy in Machakos County on a weekend and we trained a group of 40 children computer basics,” he says.

The camp left the volunteers satisfied as they felt they had made an impact in the lives of the young children.

“Most of us felt satisfied having

trained children who had never seen a computer before leave alone using it,” he says, adding that they were a group of 20 volunteers.

On the first day, the team trained children how to use the keyboard, holding a mouse, starting and shutting down a computer, making a folder and naming it, among other basics. “We did an amazing job and the school fraternity was happy with us. This saw them invite us again. Before the end of 2014, we had already received invitations from the neighbouring schools,” says Caleb excitedly.

Caleb notes that this motivated them to do more and they decided to come up with a website and social media pages to market the programme.

“We posted our work on the digital platforms and people started calling us to visit their former schools in different parts of the country,” narrates Caleb.

He says that before they accept an invitation, they have to do a pre-visit and talk with the school administration about it. The pupils must also be computer illiterate.

The team must also get a person to host them for the duration they will spend in the institution. “We avail ourselves with our gadgets then the host community do the rest for us,” he offers.

So far the team has visited more than 10 counties and Caleb says that they have a long list of schools waiting for their turn.

“We have so far reached 7,000 pupils and we want to reach 20,000 pupils by 2020,” he says, noting this gave birth to a project dubbed Vision 20k; that is, reaching 20,000 pupils by the year 2020.

Although the team is enjoying what they are doing, it has not been smooth sailing. “Some communities don’t value education much as some parents want their children to help them run errands during weekends or holidays, which is

when the camp takes place. So we find it hard to reach children in some areas,” he says,

But their mission to help young learners in Africa’s underserved communities access quality computing training right in their community keeps them going despite the challenges they encounter. “We also don’t have people to carry on with the project after we have left,” he reveals.

To overcome this challenge, the team has started involving local students who have finished form four in the camp. “Most form four leavers in the interior parts are not computer literate. We have opened doors for such people and other interested members of the community but for them they pay some small amount. We charge them Ksh3,000 and we train them all computer packages including coding and designing for eight weeks,” he says.

Caleb notes that having local young people in the programme will help to sustain the organisation. “We empower them to explore new opportunities and the money they pay helps us to run the programme,” he says.

Additionally, Caleb says that some teachers have shown interest and they have absorbed them in the programme. “The national government has already distributed 1.2 million devices to undertrained teachers. We seek to reach out to teachers in rural communities to help them embrace technology for learning. With time, we strive to have Teacher Led Kids Comp Camps,” notes Caleb.

The team doesn’t just train kids how to use a computer, they also mentor and guide them to be what they want to be in future. “In Machakos, we found out that most children lacked mentorship and guidance hence we started a mentorship programme - Heart and Craft. Kids Comp Camp and Heart and Craft run simultaneously,” he points out.

Currently, the organisation has an office and four permanent staff members who run it. Caleb urges young people not to lament that there are no jobs but to look for something to do as opportunities are usually disguised as hard work, so most people don’t recognise them.

Due to their noble job, the team has received several awards including the iHub Community Tech Awards 2014, Microsoft Upgrade Your Word Kenya 2015, Ashoka Youth Future Forward Contest 2016 and Awards At Internet Governance Forum in Mexico, among others.

“The awards have helped us to run the organisation as the little we get we use to buy machines. The Fund for Internet Research and Development (FIRE), which supports information and technology projects and initiatives, is helping us implement our next phase which is to scale our work to at least one community in each of the 47 counties in Kenya, targeting to sustainably impact 20,000 beneficiaries by 2020,” he says.

Caleb says that technology literacy is a tool many can use to learn on their own regardless of their location. “This is the reason I have dedicated my life to help Africa’s underserved communities embrace technology for their community development with an aim of empowering young people hence opening opportunities for them,” he concludes.

Health Tip

If you brush your teeth twice a day and floss but your gums still bleed, you could be doing it too vigorously. If your gums bleed persistently, see a dentist. Sometimes a change in hygiene technique will cure it.

Caleb guiding pupils on how to use a computer.

Natural hairstyle ideas for every length

It’s no secret that natural hair has gained traction over the past decade with women wanting to keep and maintain healthy hair. This Valentine’s, we give you dreamy and elegant ways to style your natural hair for a perfect date with your beau.

For all the styles, it is advisable to start with clean, dry and stretched hair for better results. You can choose a no-heat stretch method or blow dry on low to medium heat. Also, section your hair into as few as four or as many as 16 workable sections and fully detangle with a paddle or Denman brush.

Long Hair: Heatless Flexi Rods

Step I. Apply the LOC method as follows: Liquid - you can use water in a spray bottle. Oil - choose a mixture of penetrating oil like olive, almond or coconut oil, and sealing oil like castor oil to ensure your curls remain hydrated the whole day (and night). Cream - choose something that says, “curl enhancing” to help the curls hold.

Step II. Wrap the end of your hair around the tip of a rod moving to the root of your hair, ensuring it is firm but not too tight. Fold the rod to secure it. Do the same to your whole head.

Step III. Cover your hair with a satin bonnet or a silk scarf overnight to dry and set. The next morning, unravel the rods and fluff your roots to add volume.

Medium Length Hair: Roll-Tuck-Pin Up-Do

Step I. Apply your daily moisturising products to help smoothen out your hair. If you are looking for a texturised look, use oil or butter like Shea butter. For a sleek look, add a gel or an edge control. Step II. Divide your hair into sections depending on the look you want. Opt for large two-strand twists for your fringe line for a more intricate look.

Step III. Pull your hair upwards and secure with bobby pins as you go. Use enough tension to gather all the hair neatly but not too tight. Use a variety of pins of different sizes until you achieve your desired look.

Short Hair: Finger Coils

Step I. Re-wet your hair with water to allow for more product to be absorbed. Section your hair into workable areas as you go along.

Step II. Apply a generous amount of leave-in following through with gel or styler. Apply enough product from the roots to ensure your hair does not frizz when it dries.

Step III. Create the coils by twirling your hair around your index and thumb fingers from the root until ends of your section for about four to eight times. Repeat section by section until the whole head is complete.

Step IV. Dry your curls either under a hooded drier with medium to low heat or air dry it and you are good to go.

Dress sexy, but not trashy

This month we celebrate all things love, which is the best excuse to spice things up in your wardrobe. Dressing sexy is an art many have not mastered because there is a very thin line between just right and too much. Here are some great tips on how to unleash your inner bombshell without appearing trashy.

It’s all in the balance: Showing too much skin is one mistake a lot of people make. When wanting to show off your killer legs, balance everything out by covering up as much as possible at the top. As they say a woman’s dress should be long enough to cover the body and short enough to create interest. Choose to show off one body part at a time to leave something for the imagination. So go for a short long-sleeved dress or a tight midi bodycon dress.

Black is the new red: Red has always been the colour that exudes sex appeal. But there are other options for the unconventional lady still looking to cause jaws to drop. Black, just like red, is a very strong dominant colour and comes off as very sexy. Choose a black dress with lace or sheer to push the sex appeal all the way up.

Comfort is key: They say beauty is pain, but common sense says being sexy should be when you are most comfortable. Being comfortable means you are your most confident self. Opt for clothing, heels (or not), jewellery, hair and make-up that bring out your most comfortable and confident self.

Do not forget what’s

underneath: Feeling sexy is half of the journey in looking sexy, and sexy underwear does that. Do not forget to wear underwear that complements and accentuates your best features. Choose the right fitting and matching bra and underwear in colours that complement your skin tone.

Feminine it up: The sexiest thing a woman can do is to embrace her feminine nature. Femininity means different things to different people, and that is okay. Whatever it means to you, stay true to yourself and embrace it. This Valentine’s, embrace you.

Embrace healthy habits to save the environment

Researchers and doctors are warning that rising cases of deadly diseases such as cancer, respiratory disorders and diarrhoeal diseases are environmentally induced. We need clean water, air and soil, and when these are compromised it has effects on our health. It is our responsibility to embrace habits that are not only good for our health but also for our environment. The following five are top on the list.

1Eat plenty of fruit and vegetables

Health benefits: The wider the variety of fruit and vegetables you eat, the more likely you are to get the full range of vitamins and antioxidants you need.

Cost to environment: The further food travels from farm to plate, the more energy it uses up. Transporting food by air or road contributes to greenhouse gas and climate change. Processing, packaging and distribution of food generates a lot of carbon dioxide, while importing foods by air generates more nitrogen dioxide pollution than if the foods were grown within a few miles of where they are eaten.

Eco solution: Buying local seasonal foods from farmers is good for the environment and also good for the taste buds. And the less time food has spent in transport, the less time it has had to lose valuable nutrients. Also, the less processed the healthier the food.

2Clear your clutter

Health benefits: The mantra

‘when you clear your clutter you clear your mind’ is so true. By clearing out the old, you mentally and physically create space for the new.

Cost to environment: Despite the feel good factor that comes with a good clearing of old clothes, furnishings and kitchenware, it can be environment’s worst enemy if the items are not properly disposed of. Most rubbish produced in homes ends up in garbage dumbing sites or is just left out in the open. Some are incinerated in open places sending toxic smoke into the air. Rubbish not disposed of properly leaks toxic gases,

such as the greenhouse gas methane, into the environment. This is not only an environmental hazard but also hazardous to people living close by.

Eco solution: Instead of disposing things you want to discard yourself, sell them to thriftshops or give them away. Alternatively, you can sell them to a recycling company. The National Environment Management Authority (NEMA) can help you locate recyclers close to you.

3Boost your omega intake with fish

Health benefits: Fish is a good source of protein. White fish is low in fat, making it a weight watcher’s dream; while omega 3 fatty acids found in oily fish help protect against many thingsfrom depression to heart disease.

Cost to environment: Decades of plundering the water resources have left stocks of many fish species dangerously low. Tilapia from Lake Victoria is a good example. The United Nations Food and Agriculture Organization reports show that the world’s fish stocks are already fished to capacity, over-fished or depleted.

Eco solution: Cut out from your plate fish that is clearly over-fished such as Atlantic salmon and tiger prawns, except organically farmed, and tuna. Go for organically farmed fish such as tilapia, trout and salmon instead of those fished from the seas and lakes. Although all fish contains traces of mercury, certain fish, like those fished from polluted waters have accumulated higher levels, which are bad for your health. Pregnant women and those planning to become pregnant should be cautious of eating fish if they don’t know its source. Also, don’t eat more than two portions a week of oily fish as they contain higher levels of pollutants than other fish.

Nutrition Q&A

4Avoid hot temperatures when doing laundry

Health benefits: Washing at 60 degrees is what’s recommended in order to kill house dust mites in sheets and clothes. This is important if you suffer from asthma and other allergies. But sometimes we use hotter temperatures to get stains out.

Cost to environment: Washing at 60 degrees uses one-and-a-half times as much energy as washing at 40 degrees, so the lower the temperature the better for the environment and your electricity bill.

Eco solution: Most modern washing detergents work well at low temperatures, so there is no need for very hot washes. If you are worried about dust mites, buy anti-allergy covers or add a few drops of eucalyptus oil to cool washes to kill mites. For stubborn stains, you will remove them more effectively if you use a stain remover like Jik.

5Keep your home clean

Health benefits: Keeping your kitchen clean is essential to food safety; otherwise dangerous bacteria such as E-coli, salmonella and listeria can grow and spread.

Cost to environment: Most cleaning products contain an arsenal

Can diet affect a man’s sperm count?

of chemicals, many of which have never been assessed for human or environmental safety. Of most concern are the bio-accumulative chemicals, which can build up in our bodies (and be passed from generation to generation), persistent chemicals (which linger in the environment for long periods) and hormone-disrupting chemicals. Phosphates are chemicals in cleaning products that are most associated with causing algal blooms. They pollute the waterways and damage marine ecosystems. Many products contain the anti-bacterial agent triclosan, which is bio-accumulative and has been found in fish and breast milk.

Eco solution: You can clean your house cheaply and easily with old-fashioned methods. For instance, vinegar cuts through grease and lime scale in toilets and on kitchen tabletops, windows, glass and tiles. Bicarbonate of soda mixed with water dissolves dirt and grease on textiles and clothes. Lemon juice mixed with salt is great for cleaning copper and brass, and tea tree oil diluted in water is a good antibacterial for tackling mildew. The best way to stop bacteria spreading is to use different clothes for different jobs and to also use hot, soapy water. Keep work surfaces dry, as bacteria spread in warm, moist conditions.

have reduced sperm motility, and more abnormally formed sperm. To some extent, taking vitamin C can offset the effects of smoking on sperm production – 200mg a day or more is likely to improve sperm quality. But obviously the best thing to do is to stop smoking altogether.

I have been trying to get pregnant and after seeing a doctor with my partner, we discovered he has a low sperm count. He drinks quite a lot of alcohol –could that be a possible cause? And could other dietary habits affect his sperm

Drinking of alcohol has been implicated in up to 40 per cent of male subfertility.

In men with low sperm counts, some studies show giving up alcohol can lead to a significant improvement in the number and quality of sperm within three months.

There are several other things men can do to boost the quality and quantity of their sperm. Top of the list is to stop smoking. Studies show, on average, men who smoke have 17 per cent lower sperm count than those who don’t smoke. Smokers also

Several vitamins and minerals are vital for healthy sperm, so a balanced, varied diet is the best way for your partner to get all the vitamins and minerals he needs. He should also not skip meals and ensure he has a healthy breakfast. Adding exercise and healthy living into his lifestyle will also help improve his sperm count. We suggest he also takes a multivitamin and mineral supplement while you are trying to get pregnant. You too should cut out alcohol when trying for a baby and also adopt a healthy diet to improve chances of your partner’s sperm fertilising your egg.

POST-TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a disorder characterised by failure to recover from shocking, terrifying, or dangerous event. It is categorised as a mental health problem. This article highlights some of its possible causes, signs of the condition and how it can be managed.

Anyone can develop PTSD at any age with people prone to the condition including soldiers coming out of war, children, sexually assaulted persons, accident victims and many others. Women are more likely to develop PTSD than men. Genes also play a role in making some people to develop PTSD more than others.

Recovery from fear after experiencing or witnessing a terrifying event varies from person to person. Some recover naturally while others continue feeling stressed or frightened even when they are not in danger. Such people may be diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder.

Symptoms of PTSD...

A psychiatrist or psychologist mostly does the diagnosis. Symptoms usually begin within three months of the traumatic incident, sometimes much later. In order to be considered as PTSD, symptoms must last more than a month and be severe enough to interfere with relationships or work. Some people recover within six months, while others have symptoms that last much longer. In some people, the condition becomes chronic.

The strong indicators that someone might be suffering from PTSD include: re-experiencing symptoms like bad dreams or frightening thoughts, avoidance symptoms like staying away from the place you experienced a bad incident, arousal and reactivity symptoms like insomnia and anger management issues.

Cognition and mood symptoms include:

Trouble remembering key features of the traumatic event

Negative thoughts about oneself or the

Distorted feelings like guilt or blame

Loss of interest in enjoyable activities

Children react differently than adults and sometimes it can have adverse effects. In very young children the symptoms include:

Wetting the bed after having learned to use the toilet

Forgetting how to or being unable to talk

Performing the scary event during playtime

Being very clingy with a parent or another adult

Teenagers tend to portray symptoms similar to those seen in adults. The condition may also make them disruptive, disrespectful and even destructive. Thoughts of revenging on incidents often come to their mind. Older children and teens may feel guilty for not preventing injury or deaths.

Some factors that increase risk for PTSD include:

Perpetual experiences with dangerous events and traumas.

Being hurt or seeing other people hurting.

Sights of dead bodies.

Childhood trauma.

Feeling horror, helplessness, or extreme fear.

Having little or no social support after the event.

Dealing with extra stress after the event, such as loss of a loved one, pain and injury, or loss of a job or home.

Having a history of mental illness or substance abuse.

The whole PTSD experience may impact and create a negative shift from the normal functioning of your daily

life. The way you think about yourself and others tends to change because of the trauma. Possible signs of this phase includes:

Not having positive or loving feelings toward other people and staying away from relationships.

Tendency of forgetting about parts of the traumatic event or not being able to talk about them.

Thinking the world is a dangerous place to live in.

Feeling hyperarousal.

Becoming jittery, or always alert and on the lookout for danger.

Difficulty in sleeping.

Trouble concentrating.

Being startled by a loud noise or surprise.

Management and treatment of PTSD...

Since people are different, treatment that works for one person may not necessarily work for another. If a person has PTSD, it is important that a mental health provider who is experienced with the condition treat them. This is because some people will need to try different forms of treatment to find out what works for them. Treatment for people with PTSD includes medications and psychotherapy.

Expert advice

Management practices include:

Avoiding situations that remind you of the event.

Avoiding crowds if they feel dangerous. Keeping off driving if you were involved in a car accident or if your military convoy was bombed.

If you were in an earthquake, you may avoid watching movies about earthquake.

DIPHALLIA

Abnormality of having two penises

Also known as penile duplication, diphallia is an abnormality where a person is born with two penises. It’s a rare condition with around 100 confirmed cases since Johannes Jacob Wecker discovered the first case in 1609. According to a study, the condition only affects one out of 5.5 million boys.

Diphallia is usually accompanied by other serious medical conditions such as renal, vertebral, hindgut, anorectal and other congenital anomalies. According to experts, men with this condition are usually sterile.

Just like many other congenital abnormalities, experts are yet to find out the cause of the condition but it’s believed the anomalies occur 23 days after gestation following an injury, chemical stress, or gene malfunction. The condition isn’t genetic or inherited.

The following are some likely causes of such anomaly.

Radiation exposure to the embryo during mesodermal fusion process

Malformations of the foetus in utero

Smoking or alcohol abuse by the expectant mother

Exposure to heavy chemicals

Too much stress

Types of diphallia…

According to experts, the degree of the penises’ functionality is entirely dependent on the individual. Some have two penises that are of normal shape, size, and function, while others can have a genitalia that is small, malformed, and unable to urinate or ejaculate. Here are three forms of the condition:

Bifid penis: This kind of diphallia

is associated with abnormality present at birth where the bladder and associated structures are improperly formed.

True diphallus: It’s a condition where a patient has two independent penises. The additional organ has the whole exact copy of the penis, urethra, scrotum and bladder. The urethral opening can be either in normal posture where it opens on the underside of the penis or it opens on the upper surface of the penis.

Complete pseudodiphallus: It happens when the patient develops another penis in addition to the normal penis. Both organs are functional and can release urine at the same time or sometimes pass only one through some aperture perineum. Furthermore, in terms of its erectile functionality one or both penises are capable of erection, but in some cases the patient is sterile due to congenital defects.

Treating the condition…

Just like the way the causes of diphallia vary from one type to another, so is the treatment. Diphallia treatment should be tailored according to the cause of the condition.

The usual procedure is surgical removal, whereby the supernumerary penis is removed or the extra penis has to be surgically detached and retaining one functional penis. The sooner the

elimination of the extra penis, the better. Thus early treatment on this kind of anomalies will prevent some possible problems in terms of sexual behaviour in future.

Doctors advise all patients with the condition to be evaluated carefully because of high incidence of other systematic anomalies and all can be repaired surgically.

Health experts say that infants born with diphallia and some of its related conditions have higher death rate from various infections that is associated with their renal or colorectal systems.

If you suspect your child has the condition, scientists advise parents to visit a health expert for a test. Most of the times the doctor will usually do magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) test. MRI is said to be a valuable method for achieving the accurate diagnosis of these anomalies and associated malformations.

The test also provides the appropriate knowledge regarding anatomical detail and assists the surgeon in decision-making and preoperative planning for optimal surgical approach.

Proverbs 10:12

Hate stirs up trouble, but love forgives all offenses.

PAUL AND NAOMI GOL

On what makes their marriage tick

Humanitarian and consultant Paul Gol, 50, and his clinical psychologist wife Naomi Gol, 48, have been married for 22 years. Just like any other couple, they admit to challenges. The couple reveals that nurturing their friendship, love and support for each other have helped them ride the unpredictable wave that is marriage. They speak to ESTHER AKELLO

You’ve been together for 22 years. Was it love at first sight?

Naomi: He was definitely attention grabbing at first sight. He stood a head from the rest. He was tall, chocolate, and jovial with a very big Afro.

Paul: We were both officials in the Christian Union at the University of Nairobi. While I’d seen her before, I knew she was different when, during an exceptionally long Christian Union AGM, she remarked that it should’ve been organised differently. During our time (and I think it has remained the same), Christians were expected to keep their opinions to themselves and yet here she

was speaking out.

Naomi: During the leaders’ retreat we got to interact and from then on we became really good friends. We became prayer partners and even helped each other financially.

Prayer partners? That term has always raised suspicion that its intentions are not always innocent.

Paul: As Christian Union leaders it was our responsibility to pray for the Union. Our prayer partnership had no other motives.

Naomi: We would pray and fast every Thursday and never in our room or behind closed doors. It was always in a

public place. Twenty-two years on, do you still like the same things that attracted you to each other?

Naomi: He’s always easygoing, loving and very protective of our family. There are also some small things he does; for instance, he picks me from work every opportunity he can. My colleagues think it’s ridiculous.

Paul: She has remained the same.

Naomi is very principled and forthright: a quality I have always admired. Do we have a crisis in how the different genders treat each

other especially in relationships?

Paul: Most people think about what they can get out of a relationship rather than the value they’re adding. When your attention is your partner, life is easy. I’m Naomi’s attention and since that is taken care of, I on the flip side, am able to focus on her.

Naomi: There is need to reciprocate when someone does something for their partner. For us it is automatic. When he comes home I focus on him, make sure he’s comfortable, and then I can go back to my work. My motivation is to see him happy because he’s made me happy too. Is it possible to have a faithful marriage and how?

Paul: The foundation the couple built in courtship matters. Couples must cultivate friendship, be open to each other and inculcate trust. Anytime I am away from Naomi, the thought of my family and their happiness sticks with me. That motivates me to remain faithful.

Naomi: Paul is the centre of my life and I have not seen him in any other way. I think what makes people to look outside is when they don’t feel loved, at least from some of the books I’ve read. In that respect, I think Paul has really covered me in spite of the fact there have been people who have come my way and offered themselves as alternatives. I’m also very prayerful and this has kept my marriage going.

Paul: I have lived and worked as a humanitarian worker, outside Nairobi and Kenya, mostly in volatile and harsh countries. These have been very lonely environments. What keeps me sustained in these areas are Christian fellowships. In some countries, strict religious and cultural regulations have helped a great deal. I have learnt to spend a lot of time on personal growth and devotion. What would you advise couples that don’t believe faithfulness in marriage is possible?

Naomi: People want their partners to fill their emptiness, which is very difficult. People forget that they are individuals and have different wants and needs as much as they are seeking to become one.

Paul: That can easily make a partner feel smothered so they run away. But, when they come together realising their differences, they can give each other space in a healthy way. People also lack role models or suffer from trauma. If a child is brought up in a home where the parents are separated, they have it at the back of their minds that that could happen to them.

Did you face any major challenges considering Paul you’re Luo and Naomi you’re Kikuyu?

Naomi: Our pastor Rev Abraham Fiodembo and his wife Joyce encouraged us to hoard our time and space and use them to grow before we invite other people in. My family, aside from one of my uncles who expressed his misgivings about Paul’s community’s cultural practices, was okay with my decision. My uncle eventually came around as well. Paul: My family welcomed Naomi from the onset. My late father took her in as a daughter.

Was it an easy bonding process then once you were married?

Naomi: I am not very social or outgoing, I love my space and he knows that. He, on the other hand, is very outgoing. It was a big challenge to adjust because he invites everyone into his

space. I think now that we have learnt each other; he is able to give me my space when I need it and I have done the same. However, I remain a wife, and I have boundaries that I want maintained whether social or financial and I point it out when they’re broken.

Paul: Bonding with Naomi was easy because we’d been friends for almost five years before we got married. Of course adjusting to one another in marriage came with its own challenges. For instance, she does not fancy travelling up country as much as I do and as much as I would like her to. We have learned to accommodate each other on that. How were you able to define how you wanted your financial life to look like and what does it look like?

Naomi: We have never had problems sharing our money. We started supporting each other financially in campus so we broke our financial barriers early on. When Paul started working and I wasn’t, he was still very transparent with his money and when he started travelling out of the country we opened a joint account.

Paul: I can be overly generous. Sometimes I give out a lot of money because I want to support people. Naomi is a better finance manager and plans to spend. We have also learnt to involve our children in our finances and let them know when we may not have money for luxuries.

How do you keep sane when there is no money?

Paul: There have been times I’ve had to depend on Naomi because I was not working. However, never once in those situations did Naomi make me feel like I’m less of a man. There was even a time auctioneers came to the house and we had to dispose some properties, but we came out strong.

The Gols’ with two of their children Dennis and Princess Gol.

The Gols’ first born son, Michael

Marriages that Last

Naomi: I think most couples may find it hard to maneouvre through a bad financial patch if one partner seems to be going on with their life, spending money as if everything is all right. That can create suspicion.

Paul: What pushes a man over the cliff is when a wife’s behaviour changes. A woman can easily crush a man’s ego. However, when I have money, I fully cover Naomi. I even give her an allowance. We’ve always co-owned property but we also have property in Naomi’s name. I believe a wife should own property as this boosts her self-esteem, pride and security. Tell us about your children.

Naomi: Our first-born son is Michael Muga Gol, 19. Our second-born is 16-year-old Dennis Kamau Gol and our last-born is Princess Neema Gol who is nine years old. Michael schools in Viva College, Uganda, Dennis is in Kanga High School, Migori and Princess is in Riara School, Nairobi.

How has parenting been for you?

Paul: I have never taken time to read a book on parenting but I do hold on to the biblical principles of parenting. I try to be a loving father and husband. I’ve also cultivated a friendship with my children from the time they were young. They know we love them.

Naomi: Our boys haven’t given us trouble. For me parenting means that parents need to find balance between being a parent and being a friend to their children. We also speak the same language such that when our children ask one of us for something, they know that that is also the other parent’s stand. I often remind them how proud I am of them.

Poem Corner

What are the key and fundamental things that you have learnt about parenting?

Naomi: Having a father figure is key. This is where I see men go wrong. They get so busy and don’t get involved in their children’s lives. Even when he was away, Paul would call and talk to each one of them. He would also affirm and rubberstamp my decisions, which really kept the boys in line.

Paul: One time while having breakfast, my son told me that he was grateful for my presence because most of his friends’ dads had abandoned them. That has made me reflect a lot about my role as a father. We try as much as possible to spend time with our kids including dropping them to school as well as picking them up.

Naomi: But at the same time, we don’t want to be overprotective. We allow them to use public transport whether it’s from Nyanza or Uganda and so on, so as to cultivate independence. What I hear most from children in my counselling sessions is that parents never listen. By the time a parent is coming to this realisation, things have gone wrong and it may be too late. How do you manoeuver the highs and lows of your relationship?

Naomi: I am in school doing my PhD in clinical psychology while working as a part time lecturer. The PhD programme is demanding and balancing that with work and family obligations is a huge challenge. So far I’m managing well. When the assignments reduce, I cater to my family fully. I take over where I need to, and he

Where did the rain start beating me?

I went to visit my college mate Frank, Who spent his college days drunk, And was always at the bottom of the rank, While I studied hard, And had good grades to show for it, But after college Frank got a job With an international bank, And his life took a turn for the best.

When I entered his apartment, I almost died with wonderment, A giant TV covered one wall, His house was sparkling clean, With comfortable couches littered

With local and foreign lifestyle magazines, He introduced me to his gorgeous wife.

He told me of his daughter Sherlyn Who’s studying overseas, As his wife served me delicious salad With deep fried chicken wings, Thereafter Picana juice followed by exotic alcoholic drinks.

When I was through, He asked, “So what do you do?” I said some manual work here and there, “Not bad. You will get something better,”

(The writer is a poet and the founder of Eldoret Poets Association)

knows that I am present when all that is done.

Paul: The most important thing Naomi needs from me right now is support. I make sure she has all she needs to succeed in her studies. Sometimes she comes home totally wiped! So I’ve reduced my travels, we’ve organised how our last-born will be dropped and picked from school and we have a helper who comes in during the day just to clean and cook. I also don’t feel neglected as a husband because she creates time out of her busy schedule for the children and I. What is your end goal of an ideal life?

Paul: I want to see my children succeed in life. It will really pain me if they don’t. Succeeding means finishing school, getting married and having functional families. Not dropping out of school, not being able to keep a job or a marriage. That would break my heart. I also want to grow old with Naomi.

Naomi: Our friendship is my major goal. I want it to go up to the end. The family succeeding is also on the list. My major goal as a mother is to see my children grow up and amount to something.

Peace is people talking together with a heart between them.

Author unknown

Daniel Many Owiti

He said as a matter-of-factly.

He handed me Ksh1,000 And said, “I hope that will be enough for your fare, To find matatus these sides is very rare, I would have dropped you with my car, But I left it in Nairobi West where I have a bar.”

Later that evening

When I went back to my single room in Kayole, I stared at the gaping ceiling And wondered where the rain started beating me, Then I went into depression, Life can be so unfair.

The Singles Guide to a HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY

Valentine’s Day can be a frustrating day for those who don’t have significant others. From the movie theatres, to the streets, to the counter tops in supermarkets, love is written all over and it may feel as though the society is on a mission to ignore all the single folks out there. However, this doesn’t mean that single people cannot enjoy the day as well.

As the rest of the world bursts at the seams with affection for their significant others, for the single population, it feels like less of a celebration of love and more of a reminder of how single they are. However, the good news is that as a single person you don’t have to endure Valentine’s Day but actually enjoy it. Below is a simple Valentine’s guide for single people:

Know you’re not alone

On such a day, it’s not uncommon for a single person to feel as if they are the only single person on the planet. This is more of an illusion largely created by all the emphasis that is placed on couples on Valentine’s Day through a variety of communication platforms such as billboards, commercials, articles on magazines and social media platforms. Be comforted by the fact that there are millions other people in the same shoes as yours.

Hangout with your friends

There is no reason to spend Valentine’s Day alone. Rather than focussing on romantic relationships, you could look at your friendships and nurture them. In Psychology of Friendships by Anne Moyer, Dr Julianne Holt says that friendships have a powerful influence on your health and even survival. According to a blog post by the Nokia Health Blog, patients suffering from heart disease and who

have a close knit group of friends and relatives tend to have a quicker recovery after cardiac arrest or heart attack. So on this Valentine’s Day it would be great to go out and spend sometime with your friends or even invite them over for a movie.

Do something for yourself

As a single person, reminding yourself that you are important is key and what better day to do this than on Valentine’s Day. For example, buy yourself a pair of shoes, a new watch, or even go out and watch a movie. The more you take care of your needs, the less you will feel the need for somebody else in your life. Spend some time doing

something creative

From playing the piano, knitting sweaters and even baking cakes, most people have a love that they are rarely able to devote their time to. A study posted in the US National Library of Medicine shows that creative art such as music engagement, visual arts and expressive writing helps individuals to cope with both physiological and psychological issues. Whatever your creative expression is, this Valentine’s Day would be a good time to connect to it and embrace it.

Indulge in some Valentine’s Day treats

A lot of people would agree that the best part of Valentine’s Day is being

wooed with chocolates or flowers. And being single doesn’t mean that you cannot woo yourself with some chocolates or flowers. According to a Harvard Health Publication Blog post, the compound flavonol found in cocoa has been linked with improving thinking skills, reducing blood pressure and improving insulin resistance. So a little chocolate treat for you this Valentine’s Day won’t hurt.

Do not fret if you find yourself single this Valentine’s. Use the opportunity to take care of yourself and getting to know yourself better without any sort of distractions. At end of the day, it’s not your relationship status that makes the real difference in your life but rather your ability to capitalise on any type of situation and to live with passion.

So whether you are single or in a relationship, have a happy Valentine’s Day.

Women’s Wisdom

Teenage boys, goaded by their surging hormones, run in packs like the primal horde. They have only a brief season of exhilarating liberty between control by their mothers and control by their wives.

Camille Paglia, American academic and social critic

“

Friends turned husband and wife

The love story of Hillary Macharia, 28, and Loise Wangari, 28, gives credence to a research carried out by the University of Texas that showed the longer you have known somebody, the more attractive you find them. These lovebirds narrate to HENRY KAHARA how their six-year friendship culminated into a marriage.

We first met in 2009 at an institution in Nairobi,” Macharia starts off the interview.

Incidentally, after graduation, the couple met again at a church in Nairobi and its here that a deliberate friendship started. Their platonic friendship lasted for about six years but things took a sudden turn one evening while they were having coffee.

“We resided in the same neighbourhood. So one day we bumped into each other and decided to have coffee together. Up to date, I don’t know how our conversation shifted from general issues to family, which made me see her in another dimension,” says Macharia, pointing this as the genesis of their union.

Five months later and after doing a background check on Loise, Macharia was convinced that she had the traits he was looking for in a wife.

“At first I was hesitant to propose as I feared she might turn me down but I gathered courage one evening and asked her to marry me. She said yes,” Macharia says elatedly.

Loise adds, “Macharia’s love for God is so sincere. In addition, he was a friend and these stood him in good stead.”

Macharia, a video editor with KTN, says that although their relationship journey was smooth, dowry negotiations proved to be a hard nut to crack.

“Being Christians, we didn’t want to follow the African traditional dowry payment process because it’s not biblical.

According to our church teachings, you can’t buy a woman because she is priceless. But both families expected us to follow the Kikuyu system of dowry payment. So we differed with our seniors but at the end of the day they came around to our line of thinking,” says Macharia.

Loise maintains that dowry payment in the Christian context is supposed to be a platform for the two families to bond. “It’s not supposed to be a negotiation of how much the girl is worth or a push and pull. It should be a celebration of friendship and for the two families to get to know each other better,” she explains.

The dowry hurdle aside and with their parents’ blessings, they started planning their wedding. “We wanted to have a

simple but colourful wedding and God granted us the desires of our hearts. It cost us approximately Ksh400,000, which we raised through our own savings and support from friends,” says Loise, adding their wedding was held on November 18, 2017 at Sir Yusuf Ali grounds.

“It was on this day that we got to experience the deep love and support we knew we had in our lives, but had never felt it all at once and it was incredible,” adds Macharia.

The fact that they didn’t have a big bridal team made things easier for them although there were some few things that didn’t meet their expectations. “We expected our décor to be superb but the service provider failed us. I was annoyed that morning but I decided to keep cool as that was my day,” remarks Loise.

Macharia advises young people who want to marry to start their plans early, as it can become hectic in the last minute.

“I remember we had to change the tailor who was making our clothes three weeks to the big day since what he had come up with was totally different from our expectations. All in all, I am really happy I married my best friend,” Loise concludes.

Ways to improve the Taste and Smell of Your Vagina

Receiving oral sex is great for many women. Many couples use oral stimulation as foreplay before penetration. However, it can be disconcerting just thinking about how one smells and tastes down there. And while at the end of the day the vagina doesn’t have to smell like a bed of roses, there are things you can do to ensure it smells and tastes better and is not offensive to your partner. Ladies, try these strategies and see which one works for you.

Female arousal is a very complex matter that has ruffled feathers over decades. Some argue that the “G-spot” and female ejaculation are myths while others feel that penetration should guarantee climax. The fact, however, is that very few women can climax through intercourse alone regardless of how long it lasts.

Despite being central in reproduction and the mind-blowing aspects of penetration, actual climax for most women requires the assistance of the able clitoris – the small erectile female organ located within the anterior junction of the labia minora (vagina lips) that is responsive for sexual stimulation. In this day of technological advancements, there are very many options for clitoral stimulation, but nothing beats the warmth, wetness and tender feel of a partner’s tongue. With a talented tongue of a loving partner, women are able to have multiple orgasms whether accompanied with ejaculation (squirt) or not. Not forgetting it is a

beautiful way to involve your partner in a spicy intimate moment. But many women are known to cringe at the mention of oral sex because they fear the repulsive stench that may come from down there. Being the internal sexual organ that it is, the vagina produces juices that vary in scent depending on the balance of your genital ecosystem. How your vagina smells and tastes is directly connected to its pH balance. Healthy vaginas have a naturally acidic pH and are dominated by one species of lactobacillus (good bacteria), which produce lactic acid keeping things at a pH of 4.5, as it needs to fight infections. As a result, the taste of your vagina is not sour per say, but astringent – some say slightly metallic.

That said, every woman has a unique vaginal bacterial fingerprint that renders a distinctive taste. Aside from this, how your vagina tastes is brought by various factors including your natural body’s smell, the food you eat, the level of hygiene and your natural vaginal juices. Scientifically speaking, there are very few

things you can do to completely alter how your vagina tastes and smells, but there are some things, if done regularly, could help your vagina taste and smell delicious! Here is a look at some:

1Keep it clean

First of all, know that your vagina is built to clean itself. It is able to sense any foreign substances like sperm and adjust accordingly to maintain the pH balance. There is therefore no need to be extra thorough in cleaning your vagina. It is even not necessary to use products like vaginal soaps and washes or douches – vaginal irrigation. This is because they may interfere with your pH balance allowing bacteria overgrowth, which will produce a stench - the very thing you are avoiding. Douching may even dry out your vagina making sex much more uncomfortable.

Vaginal discharge is a normal function of the vagina and it varies in heaviness, scent and colour. But, leaving discharge on your labia overtime produces an odour. To maintain a clean vagina, clean the labia during your shower with

water and pat dry the groin area with a towel because bacteria thrive in damp areas. Use of a mild soap is optional, but for women with vulva irritation, use non-allergenic soaps instead. You can also use baby wipes after each trip to the toilet to minimise the risk of urinary tract infections. In addition, baby wipes are designed to be soft and gentle on the skin so you don’t run the risk of hurting yourself.

2Hydrate

Water is the basis for a good vaginal taste. Your vagina is made up of mucus membranes similar to those in your mouth. Drinking water ensures those membranes remain hydrated enhancing your general sexual pleasure. Drinking plenty of water helps in thinning your vaginal discharge meaning any odour is more dispersed and therefore milder. Not to mention the fact that water in general flushes toxins and impurities that could have contributed to a poor-tasting vagina. In addition, in case anything you are currently ingesting is affecting the taste of your vagina, water helps to dilute those tastes and minimise their pungent effects.

3Eat more of…

Everything we eat has the potential to positively or negatively affect the way our body secretions smell and taste, including sweat and vaginal juices. There is no science behind some of these foods and not all work for everyone, but some foods are believed to make your vagina taste and smell better.

Pineapple: The scent of pineapple is strong enough that it lingers after consuming it. Several women have stood by pineapples as their go-to home remedy suggesting that fresh pineapple has made their vaginas smell and taste sweet. Pineapples are rich in vitamin C – helps maintain the acidic environment of the vagina - and has anti-microbial properties.

Yoghurt: Your vagina will not taste like yoghurt. However, the probiotic properties in yoghurt help to maintain the general health of the vagina promoting your natural taste. The live cultures in yoghurt balance out bacteria and fungi, and make it difficult for yeast infections to develop. No one wants to be giving you oral sex with yeast infections and bacterial vaginosis.

Cranberry: Similar to pineapples, cranberries have a very strong flavour and also contain antioxidants that cleanse your vagina. It is also known to improve the smell of urine and may improve the smell and taste of your vagina.

4Let it breath

We all love how those sexy lace undies look on us and so do our men, but cotton underwear are recommended because they help absorb moisture preventing the breeding of bacteria. Spending over 12 hours with your legs closed, seated and walking around town is bound to make your vagina sweat. Unlike most fabrics, cotton absorbs the sweat and keeps your vagina dry. Also, underwear that is too tight can start to smell over the course of your day. Wear undies, and clothes in general, which fit you well.

Even more beneficial, go commando!

If you feel a little self-cautious walking around underwear-less, try sleeping without undies instead. Just beware, if you generally sweat a lot this may not be an option.

5Avoid perfumes

We all want to smell heavenly, however, spraying your vagina is an absolute overkill. In fact, it may be damaging the overall taste of your vagina. Today, people have gone as far as to develop vaginal perfumes to add a scent to your vagina. Here’s the thing; vagina is not meant to smell nice, it’s meant to smell like vagina. Sure, it’s not meant to smell bad either, but perfume is definitely not the way.

These perfumes and the other regular perfumes are alcohol-based causing your vagina to dry out (nobody fancies a dry vagina) and is made of chemicals that may alter the vaginal ecosystem. No matter how bad you think your vagina tastes, be comforted that it tastes better than perfume.

6Wax it

Since sweat leads to body odours and pubic hair retains sweat, it is advisable you wax your pubic hairs to significantly reduce the chances of odour caused by sweat trapped there. If you fear waxing, simply shave it clean. What’s more, a waxed vagina is visually more appealing.

7What not to eat…

Generally speaking, any food that causes smelly fart, foul smelling pee or bad breath should be avoided. If you are expecting some action, avoid coffee, beer, alcohol or spicy food, as they will make your vagina taste sour. On the same note; garlic, asparagus and raw onions will make it smell bad.

8Seek medical attention

One of the causes of bad odour is yeast infections hence it is advisable you treat it if you are keen on smelling good down there. You can go for over the counter drugs but if it persists seek medical advice.

All in all, oral sex is meant to increase your pleasure as a pair. Don’t focus so much on how your vagina should taste and smell and simply enjoy the moment.

Slimming Tips

Learn to meditate. It helps to concentrate your willpower to continue with your weight loss goals. It’s also refreshing and gives you energy.

Celebrating Friendships

Friendship is an element that brings joy, warmth and enjoyment into life. It thrives on love, tolerance, compassion and trust. True friendship is measured during trying times and as the sage goes: a friend in need is a friend indeed. The Parents team round up a list of celebrities who have demonstrated the true meaning of friendship.

Terryanne Chebet and Monica

Kiragu

Seasoned news anchor Terryanne Chebet and accomplished news director Monica Kiragu’s friendship is undeniable. It is almost as if they can tell what the other is thinking and complete each other’s sentences. With 16 years under their belt, their friendship has stood the test of bereavements, car accidents, crazy work schedules, romantic interests and time.

The pair met back in 2001 when Terryanne did poems on a show called In Search of an Answer on KBC. At the time, Monica was a floor manager in the same

station.

“We clicked immediately,” Monica says. “We got to talking and I told her I was looking for an internship at KBC. She said she would help me get it,” Terryanne says. From the word go, Monica has always been there for Terryanne; from the time she got her an internship as a production assistant at KBC to the time when Terryanne was retrenched from Citizen TV. Similarly, Terryanne has pushed Monica out of her comfort zone to pursue things she would otherwise not. “I can be a snob sometimes, but Terryanne always reaches out to me,” Monica adds. When they met, they seemed to have

much in common such as undertaking the same course in campus; a good and stable foundation for a blossoming friendship to sprout.

The hustle

Their career paths were somehow entwined. While at KBC, they both acted in the drama Reflections. Also, in 2003, Monica moved to the newsroom as a producer-cum-director, while Terryanne was an anchor - a relationship often referenced to that of American actors Gabrielle Union and Lisa Vidal in TV series Being Mary Jane

“I remember your first bulletin,” Monica says. “Kanze Dena, you and I had to go

look for clothes on the street,” Monica recalls. “We used to wear t-shirts, jeans and sports shoes because we were producers and also that’s all we could afford,” Terryanne adds.

Things were tough in the beginning for the ladies who were just beginning their careers in media: living in servant’s quarters and getting to work not knowing how they would get home in the evening. “We used to share a plate of chips when we were broke with Kanze Dena,” Monica recalls. “Those were foundation years for our friendship,” Terryanne adds.

Friends who become family

The pair’s relationship has transcended the friendship barrier to one more like family. They keep in touch with each other’s families and vice versa. “I remember my dad was concerned about us. He would call every day to talk and pray for us,” Monica says. “Terryanne’s mum even calls me when she can’t find her,” she adds.

When Monica’s father passed on - a tough moment so to speak – Terryanne was a pillar of strength for her friend. Likewise, Monica is like a second parent to Terryanne’s 12-year-old daughter, Imani, attending her medical appointments and school functions. “We were at the KBC washrooms when Terryanne found out she was pregnant. She cried a river,” Monica says.

Terryanne seems to be the more emotive one of the two. She tried to recall the number of times she has seen Monica crying and can only recall one instance when their passports got lost in Greece.

Conflict resolution

The two rarely have fallouts because they both genuinely care for one another and respect each other’s decisions. That being said, they do fight a lot in regards to work, probably because they both take their craft seriously.

“She is my biggest critic,” Monica says. But Terryanne is also Monica’s biggest fan, especially of the Jeff Koinange Live show; Terryanne is always commenting and tweeting about the show. Regardless, they would never carry the fight on for too long. “After work, we know we are going for our usual Wednesday wine,” Monica says. According to the pair, no matter what, their peeves never escalate to a situation of “I will never talk to you again”.

Conflict is always bound to arise within any relationship. However, for Terryanne and Monica, keeping their circle small has helped them keep strife at bay. “When we keep our circle as tight as possible, we are peaceful,” Monica says.

Closer than a sister

The duo talks everyday. In fact, when one

hasn’t reached out it becomes a point of concern. “When she (Terryanne) was retrenched and a day would pass by without me calling her, she would say ‘sasa huniongeleshi kwa maana sina kazi’ (You don’t want to talk to me because I don’t have a job?),” Monica jokes and they both laugh.

They share a lot: laughs, secrets and clothes. But not shoes – a constant bone of contention being that Terryanne’s shoe size is too small for Monica. Monica reveals that Terryanne has great taste in shoes.

They choose to spend evenings and weekends together whenever their busy professional and individual personal lives allow. They do not share many hobbies –Terryanne loves reading and Monica loves playing golf – however, they both enjoy road trips to camping sites, and chatting away life’s struggles.

Secret to lasting friendship

They both purpose to “make time” for each other. Despite the fact that they do not work with each other anymore, the pair feels like they are closer now more than ever. Unlike working together where they bump into each other at work, and had lunch together, they are now more conscious about making time to spend with each other and to nurture their friendship.

They also feel their personalities have played a huge role in their lasting friendship. They are very similar yet different. Terryanne is a caring and concerned person who often makes Monica laugh and Monica has a big, beautiful heart and shows up for her friend regardless of any inconveniences. “We always say ‘I love you’ on the phone,” Monica says. “Our friendship has really grown and I actually do love Monica,” Terryanne says.

Amos Muema and Simani

Joshua (Amos and Josh)

Amos and Josh, as they are commonly known, have been friends for quite sometime. The two musicians first met about five years ago at a church in Nairobi and since that time they became like brothers. According to Amos, their friendship has faced challenges but the fact that they are real to each other has seen them overcome the obstacles.

“Having a vision to accomplish is the secret to any lasting friendship. If you have a goal, emotions don’t stand in the way,” he says.

Josh is quick to note that they have had fallouts before although sometimes it’s over creative ideas but this has never superseded their friendship. According to the duo, they always talk about anything that threatens their friendship no matter how sensitive it may be.

“We value being open and real with each other. That is what has strengthened our vibe together. The bigger picture always rules,” notes Josh.

As friends, the two acknowledge the fact that they have different strengths that makes them need each other. “I admire the passion Josh puts in everything he puts his hands on,” remarks Amos. On the other hand, Josh admires how versatile Amos is. “He can do too many things plus he has so much faith,” he attests.

To make sure that their friendship fire stays on, the two hang out a lot to an extent of tackling their projects together. “We also share a lot of things for instance we both love music and we have a lot of inside jokes,” says Amos.

Although the two value work they always look for time to be together. “The balance is easy; we know our friendship keeps our work fluid,” concludes Josh.

Photo/Courtesy

Famous best friends…

Oprah Winfrey and Gayle King

Oprah, an American media proprietor, talk show host and proprietor, and Gayle, American media personality and journalist, met in 1976. At that time, the two were working at a Baltimore TV station. Although they were acquaintances, they first really bonded on an evening when a snowstorm was moving in and 22-year-old Oprah, who was the 6pm news anchor, invited 21-year-old Gayle, a production assistant, to stay at her house. The two are said to talk on the phone as much as three to four times a day.

Desmond Tutu and Dalai Lama

His Holiness Dalai Lama and Archbishop

Desmond Tutu are two of the world’s known spiritual friends. While Dalai is a Budhist, Desmond is a retired bishop with the Anglican Church in South Africa who also got involved in the fight for the country’s independence. The two Nobel laureates have co-authored a book: The Book of Joy. Their friendship is rooted in shared sense of purpose - to foster and spread joy around the globe.

Tyra Banks and Kimora Lee Simmons

Tyra Banks, an American television personality, and Kimora Lee Simmons, a reality TV star, became friends when they were 17 years old while modelling for a TV channel. Since that time, the two have remained friends. Tyra Banks is said to be a godmother to Kimora’s daughter.

Victoria Beckham and Eva Longoria

They are known for their impeccable style and sense of humour. The two became friends when Victoria moved to Los Angeles in support of her husband’s football career. Eva has previously described Victoria as “the most beautiful woman inside and out” and said she’s the “funniest person alive.” According to Eva, their perfect idea of a hang out is staying home and talking, eating and laughing. The pair is renowned for being inseparable.

How

Works

Like many things, money is also going digital. Crypto currency, or digital money if you like, is gaining traction at a slow but sure rate. The first crypto currency was bitcoin and although it has been in existence for almost a decade, it is still shrouded in mystery. Read on for more information on this digital currency.

Kenyans were shocked last year when a young man from Naivasha paid bride price using bitcoins. Antony Mburu, the bridegroom, opted not to pay dowry via cash or even cheque as is the norm but instead paid it using digital currency, specifically bitcoin.

Mburu was quoted encouraging young men who want to pay bride price to follow in his footsteps, as the method is cost effective.

“My in laws will get the dowry in multiple value as the money will have added value by the time they withdraw it,” said Mburu.

But even as Mburu and his in-laws encourage people to embrace digital currency, most Kenyans are not aware of crypto currencies (digital or virtual money) like bitcoin, and how they operate.

What is Bitcoin?

Bitcoin is a type of cryptocurrency or in simple terms digital currency that is used to make payments of any value without any fees and government interference. Crypto currency is a currency associated with the Internet and uses cryptography; the process of converting legible information into an almost uncrackable code, to track purchases and transfers. It is considered secure. Bitcoin first entered the market in 2009. An anonymous Internet user known as Satoshi Nakamoto invented it.

Currently, one can buy bitcoin in different market places in the world using different currencies. Although not many people worldwide have embraced bitcoin, some companies have started accepting this digital currency as a means of exchange.

Proponents see bitcoin as digital disruption in the financial world and they predict that it may render banks useless if people embrace it globally.

They also point out bitcoin as a safe way of protecting one’s wealth, as the governments can’t freeze it.

Who can own Bitcoin?

Anyone can own bitcoin but they are kept in a ‘digital wallet’ that exists on either cloud (stored data over the Internet as opposed to a computer’s hard drive) or a user’s computer. Richard Njau, a Kenyan who has invested in bitcoins, is optimistic that this is where the world is headed. “When Mpesa entered the market, banks tried to stop it but they didn’t manage. It’s exactly what will happen with bitcoin. This is like a Tsunami and it’s unstoppable. Already, people in the banking sector fear that soon there may be mass exodus of people going to invest in cryptocurrency. It’s all about spreading the word and once people get to know about it, some will migrate,” he says. Last year, bitcoin experienced tremendous growth as it started the year worth less than $1,000 but it soared above $17,000 by December. “Bitcoin is growing very fast as in late 2013, its value jumped from around $100 to $1,000 – a big percentage increase – but it is worth even more today,” writes

Chris Baraniuk, a BBC reporter

Although cryptocurrency remains extremely volatile, routinely moving up and down by over $1,000 within hours, most young people in Africa are investing in it.

What do you need to start?

Step 1: Set up a bitcoin wallet, which is an online wallet akin to a digital bank account. Popular online wallets include blockchain.info/wallet and coinbase.com/ signup. Simply sign up or download the mobile app.

Step 2: Secure your account. Note down your wallet ID and use the security centre to verify your email.

Step 3: Find a broker. With your wallet ready, you will need to put some bitcoins to it. Brokers will help you get the bitcoins. So you will send them real money via credit card or bank transfer and they send bitcoins to your account.

Step 4: Buy, buy, and buy some more. Buying bitcoins can take seconds or a few hours. All you will need is a bitcoin address, which your broker will ask for. You should find your coins in your blockchain.info account.

Step 5: Sell or spend. You can sell up the bitcoins for cash just as you can buy bitcoins. You can use the same broker to sell your bitcoins. There are a number of international stores that accept bitcoins. This may not be the case in Kenya.

A warning before you invest in bitcoins

The Central Bank of Kenya (CBK) governor Patrick Njoroge cautioned that bitcoins might be a pyramid scheme that will leave Kenyans with losses. Echoing the Governor’s remarks, Citibank analysts have warned that Kenyans have accumulated holdings of bitcoin estimated at more than Ksh163 billion, which could cause widespread disruption to the economy were the crypto currency to collapse.

Catherine Tate, English comedian

I love astrologer Jonathan Cainer: I ring his phone line twice a week and he’s always spot on with me... and three million other Taureans. But I know it’s my soul he is looking into.

Unconventional Valentine’s Fashion

Model : Celestine Awuor.

Fur shoulder dress : Nato

Design House .

Pleated skirt : Carole Kinoti.

Blue thigh boots : Backyardshoes

All male model looks : Naneuleshan

Green evening dress : Nato

Design House.

Red strappy heels:Instylekenya

Models:Jeff Kilonzo , Brian

Ashiali & Eggy Brown.

Jeff Kilonzo full look : Naneuleshan.

Female model Wearing : Nato Design House.

Yellow handbag: Naneuleshan

Model : Carole Kinoti

Purple long skirt: Anyango

Multi coloured crop top:

Red hat: Naneuleshan

Purple heels: Instylekenya

Makeup Artist: Achieng Owaga.

Naneuleshan

Kinoti

Whether single or doubled up valentines fashion doesn’t have to be cliché! Go against the grain while remaining classy this valentine’s and swap your red attire with splashes of colour

Anyango Mpinga

top: Jamil Walji

Naneuleshan

Instylekenya

Male model looks :

Naneuleshan

Green evening dress : Nato Design House.

Red strappy heels:Instylekenya

Models:Jeff Kilonzo,Eggy Brown.

Models : Eggy Brown and Jeff Kilonzo

Male model Full look:

Naneuleshan

Female model jacket by Jamil walji . Long net skirt: Nato Design .

Brian Ashiali Full look:

Naneuleshan

Black velvet Jumpsuit :Nato Design House .

Photography : Kuyoh Photography/ 0728750858

Shoot location : Tamarind Tree Hotel/ 0705123132

Fashion stylist : Letoya Johnstone/ 0786522811

Makeup artist : Achieng Owaga/ 0704199700 49 February 2018

7 Ways to show love to your parents

It’s that time of the year when we celebrate love. In most cases, people think that the only kind of love that is supposed to be celebrated during this season is romantic love but that’s far from the truth. This is a season to celebrate those people who matter to us and more so our parents. Here is how you can do it.

Tell them you love them: They say love never goes out of fashion and people never stop looking for it. Always assure your parents of your undying love for them.

Call them often: Technology has made it easy for people to keep in

Trail Blazers

touch. If you live far from your parents, be in the habit of calling them several times a week. This will make them feel appreciated and loved.

Introduce them to your friends: Having your friends know your parents is one way of telling them

was a skilled craftsman, who lost a finger and most of his eyesight in an industrial accident and her mother died when she was five. She thus helped her family raise animals for sustenance.

Although she was the only one out of her siblings to attend secondary school and showed promise as a bright student, she dropped out at the age of 16 and moved in with her uncle’s family to become a migrant worker in Shenzhen, the special economic zone in Guangdong province, China.

you are proud of them. Introduce them to your close friends and let them know you value them. Some people have even formed groups where they go round visiting each other’s parents bearing goodies.

Make time for them: Time is the most precious resource you can give any person. Always create time for your parents and listen to them. This will help you learn them more and may be find out if there is an issue bothering them hence helping them out. This also helps to improve your relationship with them.

Buy them a gift: Once in a while buy your parents something. The gift doesn’t have to be expensive: it can be earrings, a leso or even socks or a tie for fathers. This will make them happy.

Random surprises: Plan a surprise holiday for them. Take them out of their locality and let them enjoy nature on your bill. Alternatively, you can take them out for lunch, dinner or even do shopping for them. You will see how elated they will be.

Forgive and forget: Your parents may have inadvertently or even deliberately hurt you in the past and you are still holding on it. It’s time to release it. You can call them and open up your heart and let them know that they annoyed you when they said or did something but you have forgiven them.

Thereafter, the company received orders from other mobile phone makers such as HTC, Nokia and Samsung electronics. It also produced touch screens for Apple’s iPhone during its 2007 market entry.

Currently, the company primarily supplies touch screens to leading electronic makers such as Apple, Samsung and Huawei. Ms. Zhou has honed her hands-on knowledge into a world-class, multibillion-dollar operation, one at the vanguard of China’s push into high-end manufacturing.

You have probably never heard of Zhou Qunfei despite the fact that the source of her wealth (with a net worth of US$8 billion, she is believed to be the world’s richest self-made woman) could be right in your hands. Zhou Qunfei is the founder of Lens Technology, which produces and sells touchscreens used in phones, cameras and laptops among other devices.

Born in 1970 in China, Zhou was the youngest of three children. Her father

In Shenzhen, she deliberately chose to work for companies near Shenzhen University so she could take part time courses at the university. In 1993, she established her own company using her savings. The company appealed to customers by promising higher quality watch lenses. In 2001, she caught her big break when her company won a profitable contract to make mobile phone screens for Chinese electronics giant TCL Corporation.

In 2003, her company received a request from phone maker Motorola to develop glass screens for their phones.

Ms. Zhou has come to define a new class of female entrepreneurs in China who have built their wealth from nearly nothing. In line with her accomplishments, she holds the position of one of the richest women in the technology sector.

Her rags to riches story has been hailed as an inspiration to millions of immigrant workers in China and the entire world. She accredits her success to the constant desire to learn.

She is married with two children.

World’s richest selfmade female billionaire ZHOU QUNFEI

Are men the weaker sex?

A study by Duke University in North Carolina, United States, shows that men are actually the weaker sex. This is contrary to cultural assumptions that men are stronger and sturdier than their female counterparts. HENRY KAHARA sampled some of your views on the issue.

We don’t need the research; we have seen it. Women do more work than men meaning men are weaker. The fact that women live longer than men and are able to survive an illness better than men shows that women as really the stronger sex. Also, women are known to handle trauma and pain better than their male counterparts.

I think the most reliable and factual research on men’s and women’s strength was carried out by God and it’s recorded in the Bible. To date, it hasn’t changed and if it has we could have known. 1 Peter 3:7 puts its aptly: “Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner…” Case closed!

I totally agree with the research. Women are strong, they may not have muscles but they are able to do more than one thing at the same time. Women are also efficient in their work. The injustices and marginalisation that women face in society may hinder them from performing optimally. When given a fair chance, women have shown to do much better than men.

Edwin Riungu

There is nothing to argue about here: it’s a fact that men are stronger than women, we know it. Even if we look at it from the face value, men are always stronger and that’s why they handle the most complex tasks. On the same note, men are gracious to ladies and that should not be taken as a weakness.

The research affirms what we have always known but are fearful to voice out. Physical strength aside, women are stronger than men in so many areas. Have you ever seen a man who is down with flu? You will think he is going to die the next minute. Women, on the other hand, can withstand so much.

I think the research is biased because the weakness of two or three men doesn’t represent the whole gender. Men are stronger than women and that’s why God chose them as the head of their family. That’s how God intended it to be and it will remain the same.

Necy Sasha Kendi

Prince Victor Rono

Annet Amondi

Masinde Mallian

Mercy Kaku

The untold story of JEFF MOTE

As one can imagine, radio pundit Jeff Mote is a very light-hearted individual who doesn’t seem to take life too seriously; a great personality for one working in radio I suppose. The KISS 100 presenter is also a hardworking individual who is decisive about what he wants and goes for it. Here is his story as told to

JOANNE GICHANA.

Growing up, Jeff Mote looked up to radio veteran Phil Mathews who, together with Nicola Miyawa, were the first presenters at Capital FM. According to Jeff, he has always had a passion for expression and communication, and his natural transition to radio made sense.

Growing up…

According to tales from his elder siblings, Jeff was quite the talker as a child. He is the youngest of his four siblings. His parents – mother was a civil servant and father was a businessman – took Jeff to a boarding school as they were moving around and didn’t want to disrupt his studies.

“At the time, my parents wanted to move upcountry and focus on farming, and because all their other kids were in university, they had a problem with me moving from school to school,” says Jeff.

From standard four, Jeff went to Mt Kenya Academy in Nyeri County, where he finished his primary education. He

describes the shift from day school to boarding school as being similar to that of teething in infants - it is painful in the beginning but once the teeth are out, all is good.

“I hated boarding school in first term. But funny thing is if I was asked to return to day school after that first term, I would not have agreed,” he says, adding that some of the friends he made at Mt Kenya Academy are still in his life to this day.

While he eventually enjoyed his time at Mt Kenya Academy, Jeff admits that he had a better experience when he went to Mang’u High School. In a competitive environment where everyone is twice as good at so many things, Jeff learnt the importance of working extra hard.

“It is initially shocking when you are used to certain grades and positions, and then that’s not what you get in your new school. That’s when you realise it is a whole different ball game,” says Jeff. “There were so many guys who were so good that whatever you thought you were

really good at, you had to go that extra mile to even make it to the A team,” he adds.

This training ground, so to speak, equipped Jeff with skills he uses up to this day such as grind and grit. As he was leaving Mang’u, Jeff wanted to be a lawyer. So serious was he to the point he went for internship at the Legal Research Foundation – a non-governmental organisation that deals with the administration of justice for the marginalised - and was even called to Moi University in Eldoret to do a law degree.

Why law? “To be honest, I was watching a lot of The Practice – a 1997 American legal drama – and it looked really nice,” says Jeff.

While at the Legal Research Foundation, he discovered deep down that he wanted to follow his passion in radio. “I began to understand that probably law was not my calling,” he says.

Instead of the stable, future-friendly

career path in law, Jeff decided to pursue a degree in communication at Daystar University. He had the arduous task of breaking the news to his family.

His parents were not too happy about his change of heart but through Jeff’s insistence, they came around. “My mum still shows me the admission letter (from Moi University law school) and always asks me what the plan is with that,” he says.

His siblings were also a little concerned but they could see his passion and went along with his choice, so he enrolled at Daystar University.

One of Jeff’s motivating factors for joining Daystar University in Athi River was that they had their own radio station – Shine FM. Jeff knew even before he joined that he wanted to be on air in that station. Only months into joining the institution, Jeff managed to make his way into the booth first as a guest, then a permanent guest, then a co-host, then a host. But after hosting for just one semester, he was laid off.

“I got fired because they realised I was a first year student and in order to work at the station, there were some prerequisite courses one needed to have completed,” he says.

All was not lost as a semester later, Homeboyz Radio called for auditions for presenters. “I went there to find a very long line, it was like people were voting,” he says.

Out of the hundreds and hundreds interviewed, Jeff was called for a second interview and a third one. He stood out purely based on his raw talent. Long story short, he got the position despite still being in school.

“I was working weekends because I had classes in Athi River,” says Jeff. “I have to thank John Rabar, owner of Homeboyz Radio, because I couldn’t ditch school and seeing as I was far from town, I could not make it daily either, but he found a way to make it work,” he adds.

Work life…

Homeboyz Radio became a rigorous training ground for Jeff and he feels forever indebted to the team that took a chance on him. However, an opportunity presented itself and he felt that he wanted to take it.

“It is really the hardest thing leaving your first job because there is a sense of loyalty and Rabar had bent over backwards to accommodate me,” he says. The move was something Jeff desired and he got the blessing from Rabar so he went for it.

Entering a new work place is never easy, but according to Jeff, the transition into Radio Africa was not as tough as it could have been. “Linda Nyangweso and Chipukeezy, who had been doing the breakfast show for a while, helped me get into my role and we worked well as a team,” he says.

Even though he is still at Radio Africa, he was identified once again by K24 where he had been a guest in one of their shows - Alfajiri. When the host position fell vacant, Jeff was asked to screen test for a presenter position and he got the job. Jeff hosts the morning show alongside Ciru Muriuki and Serah Ndanu.

Jeff does not seem to mind TV considering he has been on a few TV programmes, so the transition was

been in situations where I meet people who are very talented but they are not where I am. I cannot say that I am the best radio presenter at Radio Africa or at K24, but the way things work out, I couldn’t have possibly planned,” says the man who has cashed in on his voice especially after doing hundreds of voice-overs.

He is connected to his faith and believes that we are all really just “flawed human beings.” However, he channels his faith through his work ethic.

His wife? “She’s amazing. She has grown with me and I think she has learnt to cope with my crazy hours especially now. It’s not that easy,” he says.

One can tell he loves his wife of five years – a business woman who runs her own insurance agency. Jeff is very protective of his family. “She knew me before all of these (his successes) and the biggest reassurance is the fact that she has been there during the low,” he says.

fairly smooth. The only change was the hours and the team work required to produce the show. “Early morning wake up calls are not very interesting but it is something you get used to,” he says.

Aside from Jeff’s talent and hard work, he largely credits his continuous recognition and success to God. “I have

is only one real failure in life that is possible, and that is, not to be true to the best one knows.

It is really the hardest thing leaving your first job.

How can I help my child adjust to school?

I’m a parent to three school-going children. However, I have noticed that the little one, who just started school, is yet to open up and progress reports from teachers say that he doesn’t speak in class and will instead point out to things. In addition, he will at times ask to be assisted, for instance, when feeding, which is something he already knows. How can I help my child adjust to school?

Concerned mum

It sounds like your child is taking in and simply adjusting to his new environment and stimuli, which can be a lot. Trying to figure out how to navigate around this while adding his voice to it is probably what has left him speechless. Since he’s just joined, it’s probably too

Health Q&A

early to have a panic attack.

Additionally, his need to have assistance in areas where he is fully developed could also be a call for attention and a need to bond or cling to something familiar or routine especially if meal times are used for bonding between a child and a caregiver. After all, he is now sharing the limelight with other students, and his guardian or point of authority (the teacher) is a complete stranger.

You’re already on the right path, if you’re talking to his teachers. However, there are a number of things you could try at home to just make the process more familiar or relaxing for him. You can start with:

Talking: Ask your child how his day at school was. Ask him what he learnt,

How can I get strong and healthy nails?

what he enjoyed, or what his teacher said. This will emphasise that school is a big part of both your lives and that it matters. Make a fuss about him going to school as well. Be excited about preparing him, dropping and picking him up from school. Tell him how much fun it is reading, playing with new friends and spending the day with his teacher. These conversations can even begin the night before so that when your son wakes up, he already has a positive attitude and is looking forward to the new day.

Set up play dates: Try and find out if there are children in his class who live near you and set up play or even walk home dates for the both of them. This will help your child to bond with his classmates and also make learning a bit more relaxed since he has a partner. Alternatively, you can also look for other preschoolers who live near you or family friends and set up play dates.

Role-play therapy: While home is supposed to be different from school, you could invest in replicating some aspects of the school so that it becomes familiar. For instance, if they have charts they read at school, you can invest in one where you could both read things out aloud. You can colour or write or read to your child, or add more activities if you’re already doing it.

good nails. You particularly need calcium (found in eggs, milk, cheese, green leafy vegetables and soft-boned fish), essential fatty acids (from cod liver oil, evening primrose oil and seeds), B vitamins, adequate protein and zinc.

I have weak nails that tear and split all the time. They look unsightly most of the time, to the point that I am ashamed to show my hands. What do you recommend I do to make them strong and healthy?

Your nails not only protect your fingertips and act as useful tools; attractive nails also look good and are part of good grooming. Nails grow about five to seven millimetres per month, faster

in warm weather and on the dominant hand – the right hand for the majority of people.

Nails grow from the nail bed near the first finger joint and, like skin and hair, are made mainly from keratin – although nails contain more calcium. Hardening of the initially soft nail cells occurs at the lunula – the ‘half moon’ at the base of the nail. The cells should be bonded firmly together or nails can be weak and flaky.

The same nutrients needed for healthy skin and hair are also required for

Nails also need to be kept well hydrated as they contain 15 per cent water. Avoid immersing your hands in detergents for long periods of time and always use a good moisturiser. Use plastic gloves when washing dishes and doing laundry work. Injury to nails, even from tapping away on a computer or phone keyboard, affects nail strength. You can use multivitamins to help keep nails healthy. Ask a pharmacist for advice.

If you have manicure done in a salon, avoid over-buffing of the nails and filing to the root and in the wrong direction, as these weaken the nails. Also avoid pushing cuticles too much in or cutting them to the skin. This will promote hangnails and cuticles and could also cause injury to the skin on the nail bed. Open skin can introduce infection. Ensure your manicurist observes proper hygiene at all times to avoid getting infections from the salon.

OLIVIA MENGICH

Promoting black beauty one doll at a time

A seven-year stay in South Africa opened Olivia Mengich’s eyes to the need for Africans to appreciate the colour of their skin. Olivia, producer of black dolls, speaks to RUTH MWATHI on promoting black beauty and helping young girls believe in themselves through her dolls aptly named Swahili princess.

Iam a proponent of black consciousness,” these are the words that would open up my interview with Olivia Mengich. Olivia grew up in Nairobi before moving to Cape Town, South Africa, for her O-levels at the age of 16. She stayed in South Africa for seven years and it’s there that her awareness on Black Consciousness –accepting and appreciating our black skin tone - grew intensively.

So why create Swahili Princess?

I gained a deeper understanding of Steve Biko’s thinking on Black Consciousness while in Johannesburg when I visited the Apartheid Museum, which illustrates apartheid and the 20th

century history of South Africa. The need to help Africans appreciate themselves was awakened. Even more importantly, I had a friend who didn’t believe in herself and she also didn’t think she was beautiful because she was dark skinned. That hit me pretty strongly and made me want to write a book about black beauty because to me she was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen but she didn’t see herself that way.

So one day as I was watching CNN, I saw a feature that they had done on Hijarbie dolls. This was a Barbie doll adorned with a hijab – a veil worn by Muslim women. I was impressed and I wondered, what about an African doll?

I began a two-week intense research on African dolls and who was making them.

From the research, I gathered that West Africa and South Africa had their own dolls but there was none in East Africa. I decided to make a doll that depicted the East African beauty and I chose to name the dolls after the region’s unifying factor, which is Swahili language. And that’s how Swahili princess came about.

How would African girls embrace black

beauty through the dolls?

Dolls are symbols of beauty and when you don’t have symbols of beauty that represent you; there is a chance that you will compare yourself with the symbols of beauty that you have come to know. And when young girls begin to see these symbols of beauty in the dolls they play with everyday when they are at a young age, they will begin to see themselves as beautiful. And this will also teach them at an early age on how to take care of their kinky hair and how to love their skin tone just as it is.

Interestingly, there was demand for beautiful, black dolls in the market and so the reception was good. Any challenges you have encountered?

Finding a company to manufacture the dolls was a challenge. I took almost a month of research, as I had to ensure that I could trust the company in the production of the dolls as well as ensure that I got the right quality. As a result, I initially produced the dolls in small quantities until I was sure that I had gotten the quality I wanted. The dolls are made in China.

The cost of producing black dolls is high. It is cheaper to produce light-toned dolls compared to dark-toned ones. Also, the cost of packaging the dolls as well as importing them is quite expensive due to the high levy that is placed on imported goods.

Finding a distributor that one can also trust to distribute the dolls to the different retailers is not easy either. Luckily, we were able to get a way around these challenges.

What is the future for Swahili princess?

Hopefully, this year will be coming up with a storybook about the dolls so that as little girls read Cinderella, Beauty and the Beast and Snow White, they can also add this storybook to their list. We are also looking into animating the dolls.

Become a better mother through self-love

Ask any mother to name all the things they love and they will probably start with their children then go on and on talking about them and other people. You can be sure that her name will miss on that list. This Valentine season, we are encouraging mothers to love themselves more and here’s how they can do it.

Although embracing self-love is one of the best ways to become a better parent, many mothers see it as a foreign concept. However, mothers go through so much on a daily basis, not forgetting societal pressure, to become dedicated workers, partners and parents without dropping the ball. These eventually catch up with them and the situation becomes breeding room for depression, anxiety, loneliness, exhaustion and resentment and this no doubt impacts their parenting ability.

Raising children can be hard but the practice of self-love enables mothers to ride the challenges and truly experience the pleasures of parenthood. Also, loving and taking care of yourself is part of taking care of your family. Here are some strategies you can adopt to give yourself the gift of self-love.

Prioritise on self-care and sleep: To become a better and effective parent, you need to take care of yourself. For example, if you are feeling unwell or worn out, you will not be in a good position to take care of your family. Prioritise seeking personal medical attention over attending your child’s sports day. Go for a massage, pedicure and manicure if it will make you feel better. Also, get plenty of sleep; your body needs it.

Give yourself praise: Children can push one to the limit, which can sometimes trigger feelings of inadequacy in a parent especially if they cannot meet their children’s needs. In order to experience self-love as a parent, you need to pat yourself on the back once in a while for both small and big accomplishments. For example, commend yourself for simply getting

your children to school on time. Praising yourself can reduce the unnecessary guilt that so many parents encounter. Plan adventures: Reduce stress by unplugging and getting outside to breathe and explore nature’s beauty whether at the beach or at a park or forest. It will help you to immerse yourself into a new experience and also enable you to appreciate your value first as an individual and secondly as a parent drawing you away from the daily worries of life. You can be deliberate on taking a walk or a jog daily and use this as your ‘me-time’. Alternatively, you can wake up a few minutes earlier than everyone and use that time for meditation.

Establish indulgences and rewards: Parenting can be hard at times so along the way set up some rewards and indulgences such as an evening out as a reward for successful potty training, or a night at the movies for cooking supper the whole week without fail. Sometimes raising children may seem like a thankless job so once in a while it would be good to treat or spoil yourself.

Learn to say no: Many mothers want to be good people and well liked by their friends and even the society so they tend to succumb to the pressure of taking responsibilities that they

really don’t have time and energy for. Saying yes thus comes at the expense of their joy and wellbeing and as a parent enjoying the gift of extra time and energy is important. This is because true joy comes from actions that are self directed and unattached to obligation.

Forgive yourself: Life can make one say or do things that they later come to regret. Just as you forgive those who wrong you, be in the habit of forgiving yourself, too. Also, do not focus so much on your past mistakes that you fail to appreciate the present.

Let go of unrealistic goals: There is nothing as frustrating as a nagging, unachievable goal. Let go of unachievable goals and tip the scales of work/life balance to your favour.

Words on Motherhood

Barbara

Sometimes the strength of motherhood is greater than natural laws.

Kingsolver, American novelist

Parents BABY Moments

To Participate: Send good quality, clear coloured photographs, taken in interesting poses.

The babyʼs age should be upto 2 1/2 years to be eligible for the competition. You can send as many photographs as you wish. Submitted photos will not be returned, unless sent with a self-addressed stamped envelope.

Send your entries to: Parents Baby of the Month Competition, Parents Magazine. P.O. Box 50795 - 00200 Nairobi, Kenya or babyofthemonth@parents.co.ke

Ashton

Natalia

Leylani Nathan

Common

back-to-school infections AND HOW TO MANAGE THEM

Your child is likely to catch many infections in school. We tell you the most common ones and how to avoid or manage them if they do occur.

Ringworm

Contrary to what the name suggests, ringworm isn’t caused by worms. It is a fungal infection of the skin and is common in warm, moist climates. Ringworm in children is characterised by dry, patchy and sometimes hairless scaly spots on the head. Children can notoriously spread ringworm through sharing of combs, brushes and clothing.

Tip: Ringworm doesn’t go away on it’s own. Seek medical advice and be sure to follow the treatment religiously or prepare to deal with it every school term.

Colds and stuffy noses

Children can get a minimum of six colds and upwards in a school year. Colds are caused by a cross section of rhinoviruses, which are found in the nose, and are responsible for upper respiratory tract infections. Colds are characterised by coughing, sore throats, runny noses and sneezing. Coughing, sneezing and touching infected surfaces are the most common form of spreading the infections.

Tip: Give your child plenty of oranges. Orange juice contains lots of vitamin C, which has been proven to shorten the duration of colds.

Allergies

Allergies are overreactions to allergens such as dust or pollen, among others, by one’s immune system. Just like the common cold, the symptoms of allergies include runny noses, sneezing and coughing. Allergies, however, further

manifest in form of itchiness, runny noses and eyes, hives, inflamed eyes, skin and lungs and in extreme cases may lead to breathing problems.

Tip: If your child has an allergy, keep track of their reaction and what you presume could be causing them. You can then see an allergist for treatment and/or management. Common causes of allergies include plant pollens, animal hair, cigarette smoke, perfume, car exhaust and certain foods such as eggs, milk and milk products.

Diarrhoea and vomiting

Most common vomiting and diarrhoea infections can be attributed to noroviruses, which are spread through contaminated food, water or from person to person. Often times, they are incorrectly referred to as stomach flus. Noroviruses are passed through the oral-fecal route when pathogens in fecal matter find their way into the mouth of an uninfected person. Symptoms include vomiting, diarrhoea, dehydration, stomach cramps and pain.

Tip: Symptoms may last one to three days and dehydration may prove dire. Fill up on water and visit your doctor if symptoms persist.

Pink eye

Pink eye (aptly named due to reddening of the eye of an infected person) is also referred to as conjunctivitis. There are six types that usually develop alongside colds. Of the six strains, only the viral and bacterial strains are contagious. They

also happen to be the most common among children. Bacterial pink eye is spread when fecal matter gets into the eye. It is also spread when the yellowish sticky liquid or crusts prevalent on an infected person’s eye is spread.

Tip: While bacterial conjunctivitis can be treated with ointment, viral conjunctivitis cannot and one has to stick it out.

Tips to combat infections in children

Instill personal hygiene standards such as washing hands frequently especially after visiting the toilet.

Teach your child to cover their mouth when sneezing or coughing.

Encourage your child not to share personal effects such as handkerchiefs and hand towels.

Maintain a balanced diet to boost your children’s immunity.

Ensure your child has received all the recommended vaccinations for their age.

Monthly Blessings

Anyone who is having trouble should pray.

James 5:13

Have you taken your disappointments to God? You've shared them with your neighbour, your relatives, and your friends. But have you taken them to God? Before you go anywhere else with your disappointments, go to God.

Max Lucado

THE KILLER CLOT!

Thrombosis in Pregnancy

In January, Kenyans were left stunned after a university lecturer was arrested and later released (on bond) on suspicion of having murdered his wife in a domestic squabble. While the autopsy results revealed that there was no foul play, it emerged that the victim had fluid in her lungs and a blood clot in the left atrium (chamber) of her heart.

It also emerged that the couple had a seven-week-old child who had been delivered under a Caesarean section. The results prompted some medics on social media to speak about a threat many pregnant women and new mothers face, but is rarely talked about - thrombosis or blood clots within blood vessels in the body.

Findings released in 2016 in Kenya revealed that one out of four deaths in the country is associated with blood clotting disorders. According to medics, pregnant women are at risk of getting blood clots as a result of pressure on pelvic blood vessels, hormonal changes and body proteins, or long and unprogressive labours that lead to Caesarean sections.

The blood clots become dangerous when they break from their area of origin such as the arms or legs and travel to other parts of the body such as the lungs, causing blockage of blood supply either partially or wholly. American tennis star and 23 Grand Slam winner Serena Williams (pictured above), who is a new mother, is among the list of celebrities who have suffered from thrombosis.

Further, research conducted by Geneva University Hospital in Switzerland in 2012 shows that blood clots are:

Five times higher in pregnant women than in non-pregnant women of similar age.

A leading cause of illness and death during pregnancy and among recent mothers.

Higher in women who have already given birth than in pregnant women.

Twice likely to occur among women who undergo C-sections than natural delivery.

Four times likely to occur among women who have undergone emergency C-sections as opposed to planned

C-sections.

According to medics, thrombosis and especially those that move and lodge in the lungs can be difficult to diagnose in pregnant women because pregnacy exhibits some of the symptoms associated with thrombosis such as laboured, rapid or shortness of breath, discomfort and swelling of legs. Women with a history of thrombosis, obesity, diabetes, hypertension, sedentary lifestyles or older than the age of 35 are also prone to the condition.

There are, however, symptoms one can watch out for such as:

Pain or tenderness in the calf (back portion of the lower leg)

Swelling, including the ankle or foot

Unexplained shortness of breath

Rapid breathing

Chest pain (worse upon deep breath)

Rapid heart rate

Light headedness or passing out How to manage thrombosis

Early detection and treatment often times leads to full recovery. Mothers-to-be and new mothers should be keen on attending their clinics and sharing key information. While at it, be sure to share with your doctor your medical history. This will help your doctor to conduct life-saving risk assessment tests and recommendations.

In cases where one has a history, a doctor may also scan the legs to detect clots. If one already has blood clots, blood thinners may be administered to break the clots and prevent new ones from forming. Other recommendations may include compression stockings for the legs to aid blood flow, reduce pain and swelling. Other management tips one can apply include:

Drinking plenty of water.

Being mobile as often as one can and as soon as one can in the case of a caesarean section.

Avoid sitting in crammed or restrictive spaces such as in flights or the work place.

Words on Parenthood

To love is so startling it leaves little time for anything else.

Emily Dickinson, American poet

Photo courtesy

Stop being a salt junkie

While our bodies need salt, too much of it is not good for your health. Majority of people consume more salt than is recommended and it is time to cut your daily intake if you want to preserve your health. Read on...

Your doctor will tell you that too much salt is not good for your health. Six grams a day is your recommend limit but most of us consume way above that. Many people think they are fine because they don’t add salt to their meals, but there are dangerous amounts of salt hidden in the foods we consume, particularly processed foods. Some studies estimate that 75 per cent of our salt intake is hidden in our food. Salt even lurks in sweet items such as biscuits and cereals.

Finding out if you are a salt junkie

You are a complete salt junkie: If you love salty food and probably never check labels for salt content. It’s not just savory food that is packed with salt – hot chocolate, bread and biscuits are also full of salt. Too much salt can lead to high blood pressure, which you can get at any age and if you are on the contraceptive Pill, your risk is even greater. High blood pressure often has no symptoms, but it triples your risk of heart disease or having a stroke, and doubles your risk of dying from them.

You need to re-educate your taste buds in order to enjoy food that is not over-salted. Cut down on salt gradually or your food will taste bland if you stop at once. Take these steps: stop adding it at the table, reduce your intake of ready-made meals and restaurant prepared foods, cut down on condiments and don’t add salt when cooking.

You are slightly salty: If you keep an eye on your ready-meals intake and don’t add salt when cooking then you may not be too bad but you still need to watch what you eat as you may be exceeding your daily limit. Even a homemade sandwich can contain as much salt as a shop-bought one - just one slice of whole meal bread contains 0.48g of salt. Cured meats such as bacon and sausages and smoked salmon are very salty, so keep them only for treats and not everyday fare.

Don’t add salt when you are cooking but instead use foods with strong flavours such as garlic, fresh ginger, chilies, lime juice and coconut milk to perk up the taste. Don’t be fooled by soy sauce either; it might not be salt, but its full of salt. And beware at breakfast; 100g of cornflakes contain 1.75g of salt. Even a little salt can increase water retention, so cut down as much as you can and you might find your clothes fit better. You have got your salt pretty much under control: If you mostly eat fresh home cooked foods with little or no added salt. Eating out can be a problem though, as most restaurants over-salt their food. When eating out, choose simple dishes with a few ingredients. Anything with a sauce is likely to contain lots of salt. Ask that they don’t add salt to your food when you make your order and instead use peppers and olive oil to season vegetables, meat or fish. If you like a salty flavour, try a reduced sodium salt, such as sea salt. Some of the ‘low salt’ salts replace some

sodium with potassium; another salt that studies have shown could lower blood pressure.

Low salt eating guide

Breakfast: Bacon and egg breakfast is highest in salt followed by cereal. You are better off consuming homemade muesli, porridge or low-fat yoghurt and fruit.

Mid-morning snack: Avoid crisps and biscuits and go for fruit or raw vegetables such as carrot.

Lunch: Canned or fresh soup with added salt and sandwich – lunchtime favourites - will be high in salt and you are safer sticking with a salad.

Hot drink: Hot chocolate and soup are high in salt and it is safe to keep to tea or coffee.

Condiments: Avoid adding to your meals condiments such as tomato ketchup, soy sauce and chili sauce, which are all high in salt.

Ready-made meals: Avoid ready-made meals and prepared foods as much as possible. Consume freshly made foods using fresh products from the farm.

Dinner: Prepare your dinner with lots of vegetables, some grains and a protein and don’t add any salt but instead use herbs to season. If you like dessert, have a homemade one and not one bought from bakeries or grocery stores.

How much is too much salt?

Your daily intake of salt should not exceed 6g. Check food labels and don’t add salt to food when cooking or on the table.

Some labels give sodium labels instead of salt. To work out the salt grams, just multiply the sodium by 2.5. Food has too much salt if it has more than 1.25g per 100g.

A low salt food should have 0.25g of salt or less per 100g.

One twist of salt grinder adds 0.5g of salt to your food, so 12 twists and you will have hit your daily target.

Grilled fish served with garlic and a mixed green salad is much more healthier and appetizing than fried fish served with chips drenched in oil.

Bite me

I am fine lime

Whenever you are feeling thirsty, reach out for a glass of lime juice and you will not only quench your thirst but also give your body a healthy boost. What’s more, you can add a dash of honey to your lime water for a powerful healthy combo.

Lime has made its mark in the list of super foods because it is naturally rich in antioxidants, flavonol, and vitamin

Child Nutrition

C. Drinking lime juice helps to meet the body’s daily requirement of vitamin C, an essential nutrient needed for the growth and repair of tissues. The vitamin C and flavonoids in lime juice also help to rejuvenate the skin.

The compound flavonol found in lime has anticancer, antioxidants and antibiotic properties. Research conducted in West Africa and which was published in Tropical Medicine and

Infection-fighting foods for your child

International Health shows that drinking lime juice with the main meal protected participants against cholera.

Like most citrus fruits, lime juice has anti-carcinogenic properties that prevents the invasion of cancer cells as well as inhibit the growth of tumour cells.

Lime has been endorsed by the American Diabetes Association as a diabetes super food. Besides being a low glycemic index food, which helps in controlling blood sugar spikes, lime is also rich in soluble fibre that aids in regulating the body’s absorption of sugar in the blood stream.

Other benefits include:

Helps relieve constipation

Can lower blood pressure

Gives relief for congestion and nausea

Can help dissolve uric acid deposits in joints

Excellent weight reducer

been instrumental in curing intestinal problems, earaches, eye infections, colds, coughs and even thrombosis in children.

Tip: You can infuse garlic in all manner of dishes to boost your child’s intake.

3.Seeds and nuts

Seeds and nuts contain selenium, which enhances the function of cells in the immune system. Studies have shown that where a deficiency in selenium and vitamin E has been detected, children faced higher viral infections. Almonds, walnuts and Brazilian nuts are rich in selenium and vitamin E. Sunflower seeds and peanut butter are also significant sources.

Tip: Since fats promote nutrient absorption, you can incorporate nuts and seeds in your meals such as salads for heightened benefits.

The school season has begun in earnest. There are high chances of your child contracting infections from his peers hence the need for a diet that will help them fight off infections and stay healthy. The following disease-fighting foods are thus a must-have in your kitchen.

1.Citrus fruits

While they contain a host of other essential nutrients, the silver bullet in citrus fruits is their vitamin C content. Vitamin C boosts immunity by increasing the production of white blood cells, which defend the body against diseases.

It also increases the production of interferon protein, which helps prevent viruses from entering the cells.

Tip: Lemons and oranges are super-rich available sources and a wedge a day is actually enough to give your child his daily-recommended intake.

2.Garlic

Garlic is rich in allicin - a key compound responsible for the broad-spectrum of anti-bacterial activity associated with garlic. In fact, these antibacterial qualities combined with other nutrients present in garlic such as vitamin C and selenium have

4.Colourful vegetables

Do not underestimate the power of a rich colour in vegetables. Red peppers, carrots, butternut and spinach among others are rich in carotenoids. Carotenoids contain anti-oxidants and more so, protect against cellular damage. They also help to keep liver, colon and lungs healthy. Some carotenoids may also increase some types of white blood cells in the body, which combat infectious organisms.

Tips: Identify which colourful veggies your child likes and integrate them in salads, soups and smoothies.

Seared tilapia with

SPIRALISED ZUCCHINI

Transfer zucchini to prepared baking sheet; toss with one tablespoon oil and 1/4 teaspoon salt and pepper each. Roast for 15 minutes. Increase heat to broil and continue to cook until golden brown or for three to four minutes.

Meanwhile, heat one tablespoon of oil in a large cast-iron skillet over medium-high heat. Season tilapia with 1/4 teaspoon salt and pepper each and cook until opaque throughout for two to three minutes per side. Transfer to plates.

Add the remaining one-tablespoon oil to the skillet along with lemon, garlic, and capers and cook, stirring occasionally, until garlic is golden brown and tender. Toss with parsley, then spoon over tilapia and serve with zucchini.

Kitchen tip

If you don’t have an oven to make the zucchini, just slice them into nice half centimetre circles and blanch them in boiling water for a minute before shocking them in ice cold water or running tap water for a minute to cool them and to stop them from continuing cooking.

Drain water and toss them in butter, salt and pepper using a pan and serve as above.

This delicious fish dish definitely deserves a spot in your regular dinner rotation. Don’t let the name confuse you, seared tilapia with spiralised zucchini is a simple dish and the ingredients are easily available.

Ingredients

4 medium sized Zucchini

3 tbsp. extra-virgin olive oil

Kosher salt

Freshly ground black pepper

4 small tilapia fillets (1 1/2 lbs.)

1 Lemon, thinly sliced

2 cloves garlic, thinly sliced

1 tbsp. capers

1/2c. fresh flat-leaf parsley, chopped

Directions

Heat oven to 246oC. Line a large rimmed baking sheet with nonstick foil or a reusable-baking mat. Using a spiraliser, spiralise the zucchini, or, using a knife, slice zucchini into thin ribbons.

Shocking means submerging the vegetable in cold water to prevent further cooking, while blanching means par boiling or semi cooking which is meant to stop the active enzymes that are responsible for vegetable spoilage during storage such as freezing.

Kitchen safety

When using a microwave…

Use vented containers, so steam can easily escape. If the food is covered with plastic wrap, puncture the plastic. Mount the microwave low enough so that you can easily reach in to remove food.

Treat everything as dangerously hot until proven otherwise, and wear heatproof pads or oven mitts.

For more recipes and enquiries, visit the Chef’s website on: www.emmadanielcreations.com or Email: info@emmadanielcreations.com

Celebrate friendship this season

The world is made of seasons and seasons make life interesting, and worthwhile. Recently, we were in the Christmas and New Year seasons, soon it will be Lenten season, then Easter season. This month is all about love. And it’s all because of Valentine’s Day.

Last month I read the Sex column in this magazine titled Signs Your Sex Life Needs A Makeover and it got me thinking. Marriages start on a very high note sustained by a heavy dose of affection and love but why do couples get bored with each other – I mean, how can one get bored with someone you love so much, including having sex with them?

A lady colleague is over the moon with her boyfriend. “He does everything in the kitchen… I mean he cooks and even washes dishes,” she exclaimed to me. Then she told me about her married girlfriend who seemed not too excited when she revealed how amazing her boyfriend was and instead of celebrating with her, told her to ‘enjoy while it lasts’. To put her at ease, I told her every marriage is unique, and that her boyfriend might stay true to his principles and continue cooking and washing dishes even in marriage.

Then I overheard a man who has been in marriage for 25 years advising a younger man not to depend on love to keep his union intact. “Love dies with

time and those who survive together after that are those that have cultivated friendship,” he said. “Friends live together for many years and are able to handle life’s ups and downs through the bond of friendship,” he added.

It was a little bit disconcerting but from the look of things, it may seem like that is so. The love that attracts a man to a woman and a woman to a man - the one that makes it impossible to find sleep when it captures your heart and makes even food unbearable – that kind of love, unfortunately lasts but for a moment; until the catch is safely under the snare.

But that is not a bad thing after all because what replaces that kind of love is another deeper love born out of understanding and vulnerability. You see, when the hunt is on, everyone tries to be at their best self. You even complement each other.

But once the chase is over, there is no need or even the desire for putting up a show. Slowly you reveal who you are. But still you remain together connected not by infatuation but a deeper understanding of the self and the other, and the acceptance of the fact that we are only human – weak, imperfect, sinful and needful. An acknowledgement that the other too, my partner, is also human and I’m not going to get a superman/ woman because I’m not one. And so

they continue together bonded by their vulnerability.

Slowly, this vulnerability, openness and acceptance give birth to some other kind of love that is deeper. The one that communicates without words, feels without touching and understands without explanation. Love evolves into friendship. When a man and woman become friends, then their union is secured. Nothing breaks true friendship.

This month we celebrate love. But let it be a celebration of our vulnerabilities and friendship, rather than infatuation and desire for sex. Because even where these two are lacking, a couple enjoying friendship still remains together in happiness and in sadness; in times of plenty and times of little.

Happy Valentine’s!

Share a Joke

This primary school kid was so excited the day the other kids at school told him Jewish people were wealthy after he introduced himself as of Jewish ancestry. He went home and told his parents who spent the whole weekend taking up the floorboards in the house they inherited from their grandparents.

Learning to deal with difficult people

We all have them in our lives. Difficult people. And they could be the people we love most – spouses, children, family members, friends, or even mother-in-law! It can be quite exasperating to deal with people who wind you up. From your relentlessly negative sister to your spouse who picks a fight over a meal, you are likely to be surrounded by people who push your buttons and your reaction can bring out the worst in you.

While we all have different definitions of a difficult person, it is definitely anyone who leaves you feeling upset or let down, frustrated or angry, humiliated or confused, drained or despairing after dealing with them. Think about the last time this kind of person crossed your path – a minute ago, a day, a week, a month or a year? We all live with these kinds of people and the trick is to know how to deal with them if we desire peace in our own lives.

These are also the kinds of people who may behave in an exploitative or unethical manner or create a sense of distrust because they avoid saying what they really think or feel. They may refuse to cooperate or avoid taking responsibility; they may be aggressive or negative and critical. Whatever personality traits upset you, you can learn steps to help you protect yourself and keep the atmosphere calm. This is important especially when these are people you can’t get out of your life, no matter what.

I have found the book by Gill Hasson, Dealing With Difficult People, really helpful in my own journey. It has helped me move from a hurting individual to one who is able to deal with all kinds of people and come out unscathed. You need first to look at your own behaviour. Think about someone you find difficult and examine how you respond to them and how it makes you feel. For example, if you have a friend who is always coming out with controversial statements and you argue back, it may be that the argument escalates your feelings and irritations. You could try letting her comments go unchallenged since she never seems to change her mind anyway. Or, if you know someone who is constantly negative and you respond by trying to point out all the

positives in their life but they don’t get it and this leaves you drained. You could try to empathise with their feelings rather than trying to change them. There isn’t a right way to respond when dealing with difficult people – it is more about understanding the dynamic and examining whether it serves you.

I have a friend who sees everything wrong with a particular tribe and sometimes says the most weird things about their leaders. Since she’s is a strong Christian, I have tried using the biblical angle to show her we are all made in God’s image and it is wrong to stereotype sections of the community. This doesn’t change her views and not even trying to show her that her own tribe also has flaws move her position. To save our friendship I have drawn the red line – no more tribal or political conversations. She can go on holding her views while I hold mine. Though she does occasionally try to take me back to her tribal wars, I have learnt to ignore her.

You need to understand the other person. Empathising can be the start to creating a different dynamic. If you understand your spouse dominates the dinner table because he or she wants to exert their authority and make their voice heard; or your sister is negative because her life has been very difficult, you may find you automatically feel less irritated by their actions. Learn to listen well. Learning to listen properly is important if you want to understand where the other person is coming from. Show you are listening by using non-verbal communication such as making eye contact or nodding your head in agreement. These signals let the other person know you are hearing them out. Also reflect what they are saying, checking you have understood the points they are making. Ask questions to seek clarification instead of jumping in to comment when you don’t agree. This can help the other person consider what they are saying and through answering your questions actually realise their statements

may not be 100 per cent correct. Taking this path is particularly important for spouses, as when each one tries to further their point of view without having listened to the other, arguments are bound to arise.

Stand up for yourself when dealing with difficult people. Being assertive is about responding to people without blaming or attacking. It might encourage them to be more open and both of you to develop understanding, trust and cooperation. The other person won't know what has upset you unless you tell them. Tell them clearly and explain how you feel. For example, if your mother-in-law has been criticising your clothes, you could say, “Yesterday, you told me in front of my husband and children that I should not wear trousers and I felt belittled and embarrassed.” Acknowledge your part, for example, “I know I don’t conform in my way of dressing but I am comfortable with what I wear.” Then explain what you want to happen next time. “Please can I ask you not to criticise my way of dressing and not in front of others?”

Learn to acknowledge the response. If the other person doesn’t understand and change their behaviour, keep listening and being assertive. If your mother-in-law says she was only being honest and helping you to fit in her peer group, you could say you understand her intentions but you found it hurtful and that she too needs to understand where you are coming from and not try to change you.