JA N | F E B 2 024 I S S U E 1 3
PUBLISHER DESIGNER EDITOR
Hara Allison
At Beneath Your Beautiful, we are committed to spreading positivity and hope and improving lives through raw and compassionate storytelling. If you, or someone you know, has a story to share, please reach out to hara@BeneathYourBeautiful.org
COPY EDITOR
Elin Adcock
BeneathYourBeautiful.org All rights reserved. Contents of Beneath Your Beautiful, including articles and artwork/photography may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form without the express consent of Beneath Your Beautiful.
FRONT COVER
The Silence
P H O T O G R A P H E R A N D M O D E L Bethany Burrow
instagram.com/living.spectrum
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[ 2 0 2 0 S TAY AT H O M E ]
Self Portrait Series hara.photography
5 Beneath Your Beautiful Magazine Issue 13 | Jan Feb 2024
by Ginger Oakes
As I approach my 72nd birthday, I’m hoping the changes I’ve made to my life in the past 8 years will be enough for this older version of me. My early life was filled with childhood trauma and “stuff” like most of us, but I’m working through those things while processing life’s most recent events. I have had apologies from some abusers and I’m healing up mostly because I now live alone; in my solitude I have the chance to really think things out.
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I ended a hurtful relationship after 35 years,
thoughts, and let my feelings out into the clay,
at the same time my eyesight decided to
as if the clay were my therapist.
leave me. Now, I have bad eyes, and coupled
In the past, I sculpted in spare bedrooms
with bad balance I have fallen several times,
and on kitchen tables, but 8 years ago I spread
breaking bones that need to be stronger. I’ve
my wings into my own studio in the detached
realized I needed to be stronger in many other
garage ten steps out my back door. This has
ways, too. Most of my challenges force me to
been such a wonderful gift to myself and has
look at what I still have and focus on what
helped with the focus I need. In 2017, I decided
I’m grateful for. My peripheral vision is still
to share my studio space with others, inviting
good, so I’m learning to focus peripherally and
them in, showing them tricks of the clay and
go slow enough to keep my balance and stay
how to RELAX AND PLAY. I loved the company,
upright. I don’t have the luxury of decades to
and I loved sharing what knowledge I had
get over a pity party, so I am grateful for this
gained over the years. It is gratifying to know
small win.
many people need to have this outlet, as I did.
It is not easy to have expectations about
In late 2019, Shelley from Spokane Arts
what your life plans look like and then realize
helped me complete a grant application.
things are not going in that direction. Even
Together, we wrote to ask for support so
without other challenges, age will teach us
I could afford an assistant in the studio. I
these things. The most important thing I’ve
figured this would make it easy to continue
learned during this time of change is to “Love
sharing my studio with my community, and
What Is,” instead of fighting it. Oh, how my
would help me navigate challenges with
mind can ruminate on all my losses. During
computer screens and the heavy physical
the depths of a crisis, my youngest son said
lifting in the studio. I held my breath after
to me, “Mom, you have a good mind. You just
we submitted the grant; it was excruciating
can’t let your mind sabotage your life.” I have
to wait for the response. The phone call
been repeating that mantra for eight years - it
from Shelley fi nally came - I remember the
stops the spin.
excitement in her voice: “You’ve been fully
I’ve been amazed at how keeping focus on what is good in my life has allowed for the
funded!” And my elated response, “WOW, OH WOW!”
hard stuff to become a distant memory. Part
But in a cruel twist of fate, the grant was
of the good is that I love creating art. I am so
funded on the day we went into pandemic
thankful that I started exploring clay when
lock down. My mind started to spin, realizing
I was about 40 - I think it came into my life
nobody could come play in my studio and
to give me peace for the inevitable change
I couldn’t have an assistant. To keep from
that was coming. Now, I literally feel my way
losing the grant, I had to figure out something
through a lump of clay, molding and sculpting
to do with the money that still served my
from my experience and by feel. It lets me
original plan. I didn’t need and couldn’t use
relax when I can feel my way through my
the money myself, but I knew people who
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were on lockdown couldn’t afford to pay for studio supplies. I said to myself, “Well, I have to pivot; to hell with it, I’ll share all of that Arts money!” After confi rming my plan with Spokane Arts, I immediately set out to spend the money for a concept titled, “Clay To Go.” I purchased 30 five-gallon buckets from Home Depot, and into each I placed balls of clay, an assortment of tools, printed descriptions, defi nitions, and directions. For the tiny sum of $15, students would pick up the clay supplies with contact-free curbside service. I booted up my laptop in my studio and I led Zoom classes with those students in their homes. After their creations were complete, they brought them back to me - still contactless - and I fi red it for them in my studio kiln. Wooo-hooo, it worked! Everyone really needed the distraction from lockdown, and I appreciated the continued contact with the outside world. I spent all that money from the grant to buy the supplies and had dozens and dozens of participants. It was so gratifying when homeschool kids and Moms, therapists and lonely people logged on and laughed with me! I have so many emails from people who
retaining boundaries. I now recognize that personal expectations,
said it was the most fun they had had since the
the things that I expect to or need to happen
pandemic had started. I felt like I had shared
a certain way are really the only things
something good.
that cause me distress. Understanding and
Now that the pandemic is past, I still have
appreciating that everything “just is” has
a couple friends who like to come play with
really helped. I keep repeating the mantra
clay. I’m thankful that they pay for their
my son taught me, take a deep breath, close
supplies and spend time playing in the studio
my eyes and listen, and experience my other
with me. Since I’m a very slow sculptor it takes
senses until I am calm. Those other senses
a long time for me to create enough to fi ll my
make it easier as do friends or family who
kiln to fi re, so having them in my studio fi lls
communicate well and spend time with me,
my kiln and helps me complete my own work
because I love conversation, it is like breath
a lot quicker. During the “Clay To Go” period,
to me. I’m very thankful for the interactions I
I fi red very regularly - in fact, it was the
do have, and the peace I have found in my life.
busiest year of my life. I learned important
Life is good when you can feel your way and
lessons about self-care and setting and
sense life from other perspectives. BYB
12 Beneath Your Beautiful Magazine Issue 13 | Jan Feb 2024 A R T I S T Ginger Oakes
facebook.com/ginger.oakes.5 P H O T O G R A P H E R Hara Allison
instagram.com/hara_allison_photography
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CHANGES
LIVES by Carla T. Savalli Frontier Behavioral Health
Dish soap by the kitchen sink. Laundry soap by the washer and dryer. A washer and dryer in her apartment and not in some basement common room or across town in a sketchy laundromat. These are the totems of a respectable life;
The apartments are the result of a
symbols of a standard of living many of us
partnership between Catholic Charities –
take for granted. Not Jaymee Wright. After 10
a recognized expert in building affordable
years of living on the streets, after living in a
housing for at-risk populations – and Frontier
women’s shelter, in transitional housing, and
Behavioral Health (FBH), the largest provider of
an apartment she gave up because she couldn’t
mental health services in Eastern Washington.
make the monthly rent, daily conveniences are
All of the renters are FBH clients who have
a sign of hope.
a history of mental health or substance use
“It’s a new start. I’m being shown a life that I
disorders and have been involved in the
wouldn’t be able to grasp or comprehend on my
criminal justice system. Onsite support
own, wouldn’t have been able to give myself.”
staff, including healthcare coordinators,
At 28, with her emotional support dog Hank
case managers, and peer support specialists
by her side, Wright is getting on her feet again
ensure basic needs are met while the tenants
and hoping this time, she can make it stick.
navigate multiple social service systems on the
She is one of 24 adult tenants living in the Mother Teresa Haven II apartments, an
way to independence. When Jaymee moved in to her one-bedroom
affordable housing community built on land
unit last fall, it was already furnished with
that Catholic Charities purchased from the
two couches and an ottoman, dining table and
Sisters of the Holy Names of Jesus and Mary in
chairs, end tables, and a bed, nightstand and
Spokane, Washington.
dresser – all purchased for her from 16 Cents,
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3 Shoes & 5 Socks, a local furniture store that outfitted all of the units. The apartment includes
wanted to buy a house.” She moved into Mother Teresa Haven II from
air conditioning, a washer and dryer, and a full
a transitional housing program downtown.
kitchen with appliances. She has artwork on the
Being in the city’s urban core was “triggering”
walls, a TV, and her own bathroom.
for her substance use issues, so she is happy
“Having all of this to take care of keeps me in
to be north of the Spokane River, among other
reality,” she says, surveying her open-concept
apartment complexes that serve low-income
living room and kitchen. “I look out the window
families and formerly homeless single adults
and see the parking lot and kids and it conducts
and veterans.
my behavior a little bit.” By her own admission, she has a “lengthy criminal record,” having entered guilty pleas on more than 20 separate charges. She is currently awaiting a court-ordered mental health competency evaluation – a 10.77 hearing – that will determine whether she can stand trial for assaulting a police officer and two other misdemeanor charges. If she is deemed incompetent to stand trial, the state must provide her restoration services. “When they tried to take me away when I went psychotic, I would fight against the officer,” says Jaymee, who has bipolar disorder, PTSD, and substance use issues. Conflict and upheaval are interwoven threads that run through her story. She was born in Glendale, Arizona, but Spokane has always been home. “I was 14 when my mom put me in foster care and left me there. I started to run away and saw the streets as something cool at first, freedom, a place to hang out.” Then her perspective changed. “It became all I had. I couldn’t go home to my family because my family was broken. Whenever I went home, it always ended up in violence. My mom called the cops a lot.” Despite the chaos, she made attempts to get an education, attending North Central, University, and West Valley high schools, as well as Spokane Falls Community College. Once
Initially, there were rumblings and rumors from tenants in the other apartments about the “mental health people” moving in, and some offensive sidewalk graffiti showed up before it was quickly removed. There have been no issues since. “[People in the other apartments] don’t have to interact with us,” Jaymee says. “We’re all people, too. We all wake up in the morning and have to use the bathroom. Give us our space. Even though some of us walk around and talk to ourselves, we really don’t want to impose that on you. People have episodes when “they don’t act right, but they’re not going to hurt other people.”
—
Shaun Webb’s former girlfriend smacked his head with a baseball bat during an argument, leaving the 44-year-old Los Angeles native with a traumatic brain injury and grand mal seizures for the rest of his life. He also carries trauma from a brawl with his cousin who used a bat to beat his legs and back. He has been out of prison almost a year after serving 12 years on robbery, burglary, and assault charges. He always had a cell to himself while incarcerated because of his violent tendencies. So, living alone in his one-bedroom apartment with his rescue dog Nina Blue suits him fine. “I ain’t playing daddy. I got no kids. It’s just me and Nina now.”
she qualifies for Social Security disability, she
Like many of the other tenants, Shaun
will go back to school so she “can do something
moved into Mother Teresa Haven II after
that pays enough to buy a house. I’ve always
living downtown in transitional housing – an
a girlfriend’s house to do laundry. I don’t need
because of “bad people and drugs.” Spokane’s
to worry about people acting stupid, or all that
North Side is a world away from his previous
drama. I’m minding my own business, taking
life, although he remains vigilant.
care of what I’ve got to do. When I got out [of
“It’s been all good here, but I still watch
prison], my goal was to get a Husky dog and
people and see how they are,” he says. “If they
that’s what I got. I got my Husky and my own
want to bother me and know about my record,
place and I’m good.”
I’ll tell them, but I stay away from all that … from people not being fair with each other, people doing dirty. In this place, it’s mostly cool, regular people.” Just before sitting down to tell his story – with Nina Blue or “Mommy,” as he sometimes calls her, by his side – he spent seven days at Deaconess Hospital after collapsing from a seizure in his apartment. When he woke up in a hospital bed, he was confused. In the past, he tended to have seizures either in public places because he was homeless or in prison. In either case, his violent thrashing and combative demeanor usually triggered a police response, not a medical one. “I would be flopping and swinging and kicking and I didn’t know what was going on. I’d wake up and not even know what happened. When I woke up in the hospital I said, ’This ain’t prison.’” The fact that he was transported to the hospital by paramedics after other tenants and onsite staff heard loud thumping inside his apartment is just one example of how much his situation has improved. Other indicators include his current bathroom, which he says is bigger than the entire apartment he previously occupied downtown. His fully-equipped kitchen means he can cook what he likes – fried
—
Two seminal moments changed the trajectory of Jaide Harper’s life. At 15, he became involved with the criminal justice system and at 20 his mother died of a heart attack. “If she were still alive, I would probably still be living with her,” he admits. “I always had this overwhelming fear that if I left her at any time, she would die. And she died anyway.” In between those mileposts and for many years after, his life was unmoored. He spent time in prison, on the streets, in shelters, and on friends’ couches. He did drugs, cut and burned himself as a form of punishment for his mistakes, and accidentally stabbed himself in the gut. He has a daughter he has not seen in 15 years. Now, at age 43, he is living in his fi rst apartment, a south-facing unit that looks out over the Spokane riverbank. “If you’re trying to quit drugs, being downtown is the worst place to be,” he says. “If there were more apartments and programs like this, there wouldn’t be such a homeless problem. When people get released from prison, if they can come to a place like this, it will make a big difference because there are services and supports here. Otherwise, you
chicken, hot dogs, meat – and share it with
get out and go back to the people and the things
Nina. Being on a bus line allows him to keep
you know, the things that put you in prison in
his appointments with his parole officer. And
the fi rst place.”
freedom allows him to revel in the luxury of doing chores. “I don’t like being in a dirty place. The only
19 Beneath Your Beautiful Magazine Issue 13 | Jan Feb 2024
environment that was “no good” and triggering
His apartment not only gives him a rental history, but opportunity. “I’ve never had this much help in my life, even from my own
things on the floor is her toys. Everything is
mother,” he says. “The only way to get rid of
here. I don’t have to go to no friend’s house or to
negative stereotypes is to inject a little bit of
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compassion, and I really believe in how FBH is showing compassion with their programs.” After years of fighting against the current, he has learned to “move with the flow.” “The world needs to stop the hate. We’re all the same and we’re supposed to help each other. My mom said that ’no one is too far gone for help,’ and that with enough compassion and tough love, people can change.”
—
“It sucks that I had to be an addict, homeless and have a criminal record in order to get help.”
—
Bol Pennington fled western Sudan with his parents in 2004 to escape the civil war in Darfur, a rebel-led insurrection that turned into a humanitarian crisis, leaving millions displaced and thousands dead. After fi rst settling in Egypt, the refugee family made
In many ways, Jennessa Magner’s story is
their way to Spokane – bringing with them the
similar to the others. Generational poverty,
damage of unspeakable trauma. Bol was just
undiagnosed mental illness, and a series of
a boy.
poor choices narrowed her options until she
Homelessness, physical abuse, and his
found herself homeless in Coeur d’Alene, Idaho,
mother’s alcoholism led to a custody battle.
with two daughters. Her “downward spiral” did
Bol and his sisters were eventually placed
not last as long, however.
in foster care.
In a relatively short four years, Jennessa
At 14, he was adopted by Rick and Colleen
transitioned from homelessness, addiction,
Pennington who provided him the stability he
and criminal charges for assault, possession,
craved and the opportunity “to really be a kid.”
harassment and disorderly conduct to a one-
As a freshman at Mica Peak High School
bedroom apartment where her girls – now 19
in the Central Valley School District, he
and 13 – can visit.
began experiencing the effects of PTSD
’Short’ does not mean easy, however. “I felt
and depression, but counseling helped him
like I wasn’t even human, not a person, but
manage his memories. In 2019, he became
some homeless addict not worth anything,”
an Act Six Scholar and earned a full-ride
says the 42-year-old who was born in Nampa,
scholarship to Whitworth University. The
Idaho. She wants people to understand that
Spokesman-Review wrote a story about his
homelessness is not a choice for most, and it is
improbable journey and his plan to give back to
defi nitely not easy.
others for the gifts he received.
“It’s scary, it’s rough. It’s hard to have decent
“I want to go to school so I can help people,”
days because there are so many people around
he told the newspaper. “All my life, I have
you who just want to do drugs. There are people
been helped – to survive, to be rescued, to be
who want help and ones that don’t. There are
nurtured. I want to give back.”
decent people who clean up after themselves
Then, in 2020, at the age of 20, he experienced
and they still get treated like crap. And there’s
his fi rst psychotic episode, and everything fell
others who give being homeless a bad name.”
apart. He was at war with himself.
Anything can lead to homelessness, she says – a fact borne out by research. “Lack of housing, lack of support. You can be working and lose your job and things
“I wasn’t in control of my own body. I had no idea what was going on. I was downtown doing drugs, hanging out with the wrong crowd, not knowing where I would go next.”
change. Once you have the right supports like
He was eventually diagnosed with
these apartments, it gives people a chance to
schizophrenia and bipolar disorder and
try a different path.”
psychiatrically hospitalized. A string of
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criminal charges, including residential
on North Monroe. His mother passed away, but
burglary and assault, led to 11 separate arrests,
his biological father still lives in Spokane and is
but it was while he was in jail that he heard
proud of his son’s plan to go back to school. “I want to inspire others,” Bol says, a warm
about FBH’s various Trueblood programs, and that led him to Mother Teresa Haven II.
smile breaking out across his face. “Everybody
“I’m blessed. Never would I have thought
is on different roads in life, but people need
I’d have all this. I have to credit FBH and God’s
to be uplifted, to see that life isn’t that bad. I
grace. I didn’t know how to break the cycle
learned to survive growing up. There’s no point
until FBH showed me there’s hope.”
in giving up. Everyday is a chance to make a
Today, he takes medication to control his symptoms and works part time at the Taco Bell
positive small step to get you where you want to be. Just do something.” ▮
Beyond the personal stories, data compiled by FBH shows that the apartments are an effective way to reduce hospitalizations and prevent recidivism in the criminal justice system. Consider these turnarounds: A 23-year-old male with schizoaffective disorder and co-occurring substance use was involuntarily hospitalized eight times between 2020 and September 2023. He spent a total of 204 days receiving inpatient treatment. He also had three known contacts with law enforcement that resulted in 44 days of incarceration time. Since moving into Mother Teresa Haven II in August 2023, he has had just one involuntary hospitalization of seven days. He has maintained his sobriety, kept his appointments for outpatient mental health treatment, and fulfilled all of his court and probation requirements, including scheduled hearing and random drug tests. He has also re-established a relationship with his adoptive father and is considering returning to school. Another tenant, a 58-year-old male with substance use issues, had three involuntary hospitalizations between 2020 and 2021, four competency evaluations between 2021 and 2023, and frequent contact with law enforcement. Since moving into the apartments, he has had no ITA (Involuntary Treatment Act) hospitalizations, no contact with law enforcement, and has completed the Outpatient Competency Restoration Program at FBH. He is also rebuilding fractured family relationships and recently met his 3-year-old grandson for the first time. “We know from our history of serving this population that individuals with serious mental illnesses are overrepresented in jails and hospitals,” says FBH Chief Operating Officer Jan Downing. “By partnering with Catholic Charities, FBH is able to fill a significant gap in meeting the needs of those we serve.” BYB
Carla Savalli is the Public Information Officer for Frontier Behavioral Health in Spokane, Washington. Before joining the agency in 2014, she spent 25 years as a journalist, working as a reporter and editor for newspapers in Washington, Idaho and Nevada. fbhwa.org
P H O T O G R A P H E R Hara Allison
instagram.com/hara_allison_photography
by Darius Wallace
I came from humble beginnings, the son of a GM employee in Flint, Michigan. From an early age, I harbored the dream of becoming an entertainer, but my fear of speaking in front of others cast a shadow on my aspirations. I didn’t believe in myself, and I began to express myself in self-destructive ways. A high school theater teacher saw my potential, became my guiding light, and introduced me to techniques that transformed my fear into strength. An opportunity to pursue an education at
Interventions and the revelation of my
Interlochen Arts Academy propelled me into
father’s childhood wisdom pulled me
the arts space, and my continued education
from the abyss, shaping a beautiful and
at SUNY Purchase in New York gave me the
imperfect life.
foundation I needed to become a founding
Overcoming life’s traumas was possible
member of Tennessee Shakespeare, where
in the realization of the divine spark within.
I further honed my craft. The culmination
Influenced by religion, storytelling, and
of my experiences led me to develop a one-
inspirational encounters, this eternal spark
person show on the life of Frederick Douglass,
ignited my imagination, empowering me to
propelling me into the realms of theater, fi lm,
create the life I desired. An off-shoot of my
and television.
artistic endeavors, I found myself coaching
During a challenging period in the mid-
professionals in the art of communication,
90s, homelessness in New York City tested my
a path that led me to Memphis as a speaking
will to live. But as I reflected on my father’s
coach for the past eight years. Grateful for
journey from GM employee to pursuing his
the twists of fate, I have become an
passion in real estate, I saw how his courage
inspirational speaker, living my dream,
fueled the Phoenix Flame within him. His
and sharing my passions.
example inspired me, and instilled self-
And so, the song of dreams continues – a
confidence I didn’t know I had. Following my
harmonious melody of a father and son, both
dreams as an actor, I embraced his wisdom:
flying with the Flame of a Phoenix, wings
"Whatever the mind of a person can conceive
spread wide into the deepest joy of living out
and believe, that person can also achieve."
our dreams. BYB
Darius Wallace is no stranger to stories. He has been in several Hollywood Movies (Nothing But The Truth, Brian Banks and The World We Make). He is a founding company member of Tennessee Shakespeare in Memphis Tennessee and he has performed all over the country in thousands of schools, universities, theaters and libraries as Frederick Douglass. He also has been the TEDx Memphis coach for seven years. He is a practitioner of Tai Chi/Chi Gong and teaches methods of self improvement through meditation. dariuswallace.com
27 Beneath Your Beautiful Magazine Issue 13 | Jan Feb 2024
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S TRENGTH Alycia Michelle Morris (Alycia Michelle) is a Texas native, military veteran, self-published author, freelance model, podcast host, and 2x breast cancer survivor. Alycia, a prolific writer who has published 13 books of her own, has been featured in 35+ magazines across the globe. She is fighting to change the narrative of the word “beautiful” and demonstrates that beauty must first be found within to truly be shown on the surface. “I had to learn how to love my body after breast cancer because I didn’t feel beautiful. Once I tapped into my inner beauty and inner spirituality, I saw that being beautiful starts with me. That is something that no one can ever take away.” Alycia is continuing to accomplish all the goals she has set for herself and be a voice for those who need to hear they are beautiful. October of 2023 will mark 2 years of being cancer-free for the second time. “This isn’t a testimony, this is personal!” BYB
M O D E L Alycia Michelle
instagram.com/ia.m._alyciamichelle_ P H O T O G R A P H E R Ken Wiillams
instagram.com/kaydub.photos
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Vite condivise
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Vite condivise is a long-term photographic project born from the collaboration of Greta Pettarini and Virginia Victoria Godino, two photographers born in 2001, both passionate about the documentary world.
P H O T O G R A P H E R Virginia Victoria Godino
instagram.com/virginiagodinophoto P H O T O G R A P H E R Greta Pettarini
instagram.com/pettarinigretaph
37 Beneath Your Beautiful Magazine Issue 13 | Jan Feb 2024
Through this project they immerse themselves in various communities and ecovillages to capture their essence and tell their stories. Greta was born in Friuli-Venezia Giulia, a land full of memories, She has always lived in fascination of places, with all their meanings and characterizations. Her work focuses mainly on the study of identity, a different view of the world and digital manipulation. She attended the Liceo Artistico Giovanni Sello in Udine, graduating in Audiovisual and Multimedia. Virginia grew up between the opposing worlds of the city and the Piedmont countryside, and has always been interested in observing people’s habits and lifestyles, their rituals and identities. Her works explore contemporary Italian society, searching for traces of the past and new ways of interpreting the present. Both graduated in Photography and New Media at the Accademia Italiana in Florence. BYB
teo ElLiOt DA mIT io
I have a story and I’m the main character. I’ve been through downs and ups in life. The battles I face are real. The emotions are real. The pain in my heart is real. However, so is the love and joy I feel. Others may not always see the battle I’m facing, but there are those who do. If I were to describe myself, I would say I’m very energetic and always busy. Sure, I am masculine, but I’m also sometimes feminine. Sometimes I wear stilettos and sometimes I wear makeup and sometimes I get my nails done. And I don’t care what other people think. I have the freedom to be truly me! I was originally born a female, in Yambol, Bulgaria. My sister and I began our lives in two orphanages there. After my parents decided to adopt us, we flew to America where we had to learn a whole different world. When I was 20, I thought I was lesbian. Two years later, I found out what transgender was and I have been a practicing trans male ever since! It was a challenge. When I first started taking testosterone, I learned the hard way what it would be like to not be accepted by my parents. I was so scared to tell them I was trans. And I was right to be worried. My mom found out once my voice started changing. She was really angry and my parents made me move out. My sister said “my sister’s gone now.” “I’m still here! I’m still me!” I said. It terrified me. I didn’t think that anyone would ever love me again. That experience taught me about
38 Beneath Your Beautiful Magazine Issue 13 | Jan Feb 2024
family — that sometimes you get to choose. If my theatre family were not in my life, I probably would not be alive now. They showed me a different kind of love. I know to some it’s not much, but being called a “he” is one of THE best feelings ever! I can look at myself in the mirror and I can see…myself. Every day is an adventure and a challenge, but as long as I have people that support me, that’s what matters. Through the ups and downs of life, I found out about unconditional love. I found my theatre family, my queer family, but most importantly I found me. Some may not see the battle I face, but those who love me, do. When I have little wins, I make sure to celebrate them in my own way. Sometimes it’s as simple as getting my favorite boba that brings me joy. Through the battles of life, I have felt invisible, worthless and unwanted but I know that I am worthy of joy, kindness, love and great things. I am Teo Elliot Damitio and I wouldn’t be who I am – this spontaneous, energetic, creative self – without the amazing people in my life who believe in me! BYB
TEO ELLIOT DAMITO
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M O D E L Teo Elliot Damitio
instagram.com/teoelliotdamitio P H O T O G R A P H E R Hara Allison
instagram.com/hara_allison_photography
42 Beneath Your Beautiful Magazine Issue 13 | Jan Feb 2024
h a r d sh ips
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P H O T O G R A P H E R Mano Hovhannisyan
instagram.com/mano_hovhannisyan
M O D E L Ceydar Davis
instagram.com/ceydarofficial P H O T O G R A P H E R Hara Allison
instagram.com/hara_allison_photography
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WA R D R O B E S T Y L I S T Emily Martinez
instagram.com/emilymstyle emilymstyle.com
M A K E U P A R T I S T/ H A I R S T Y L I S T Jenny Lova
instagram.com/jennylovamua M O D E L Michaela Renae
instagram.com/michaelarenaee M O D E L Julian Green
instagram.com/julian_green108 P H O T O G R A P H E R Joseph Hart
instagram.com/josephlhart
C R E AT I V E D I R E C T O R Charles Fatunbi
instagram.com/charlesfatunbi
A S S I S TA N T/ D I G I T E C H Jamal Wesley
instagram.com/iamjamaalwesley
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P H O T O G R A P H E R Elena Patrina
instagram.com/lelimilina
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M O D E L Sruthy Sithara
instagram.com/sruthy_sithara__ M A K E U P A R T I S T Renjithraj
instagram.com/renjithrajmakeupartist P H O T O G R A P H E R Bibi
instagram.com/_bibi_photography behance.net/bibink4 R E T O U C H E R Shibin
instagram.com/ken_photography_lek FA S H I O N D E S I G N E R Smruthy Simon
instagram.com/smruthy_simon A S S I S TA N T Majeesh
instagram.com/maje_esh
The passage introduces the Garbham photo shoot, linked to Kerala birth, symbolizing the contrast between uncertain beginnings and the innocence of stepping into the world's metaphorical sand. It emphasizes that each birth signifies a journey filled with joy, hope, familiar paths, and meaning, with a unique focus on the dreams and concepts shaping the life of a transgender person. The project is portrayed as a deliberate and thoughtful exploration, capturing the intentional steps in the meaningful journey, from birth to pregnancy. Shruti Sitara, a transgender woman, is celebrated as India's first Miss Trans Global winner.
STUDIO H creative is an award-winning design firm. After 32 years in business, we’ve done it all. Annual reports, event collateral, magazines, logos, packaging, social media graphics, photography, brochures, flyers, posters, menus, web and editorial design – including Beneath Your Beautiful Magazine!
studioh-creative.com
62 Beneath Your Beautiful Magazine Issue 13 | Jan Feb 2024
Aquarius
M O D E L Zack Rose
M A K E U P Gail
M O D E L Mariah Scroggins
FA C E PA I N T A R T I S T Jess
H A I R Chelsea Zacher
C L O T H I N G Spokane Dress Rentals
instagram.com/thegreatishzack instagram.com/whatta_peach instagram.com/chelseazacher
instagram.com/deity_on_a_dime instagram.com/jesspaintsface instagram.com/dreamily.gowns
C ROWN , AC C ESORIES AND JE WEL RY
Ghost Hive Studios
instagram.com/ghosthivestudios P H O T O G R A P H E R Hara Allison
instagram.com/hara_allison_photography
ZODIAC The Creative Director of the Zodiac photo series, Chelsey McKee is the owner of Ghost Hive Studio, a multimedia art company based in Chattaroy, Washington. She has specialized for the past seven years in resin epoxy design, custom molding, and multimedia art, as well as SFX prop, jewelry and accessory design, natural and botanical artistry, oddities, specimen preservation and wall art. Chelsey’s mission is to come together much like a bee hive and thrive as one! instagram.com/ghosthivestudios
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Z M O D E L Evelyn Johnson
instagram.com/iris_eve97 M O D E L Micah Emily Shure
instagram.com/micah__emily E V E LY N ’ S C L O T H I N G ETTE
instagram.com/ette_clothing_official M I C A H ’ S C L O T H I N G Spokane Dress Rentals
instagram.com/dreamily.gowns FA C E PA I N T A R T I S T Jess
instagram.com/jesspaintsface C ROWN , AC C ESORIES AND JE WEL RY
Ghost Hive Studios
instagram.com/ghosthivestudios P H O T O G R A P H E R Hara Allison
Libra
instagram.com/hara_allison_photography
M O D E L Adrianna Braun
ZODIAC instagram.com/adrianna.braun
M O D E L Michaela Avants Borselli
instagram.com/avantsgarde_ H A I R Chelsea Zacher
instagram.com/chelseazacher M A K E U P Gail
instagram.com/deity_on_a_dime FA C E PA I N T A R T I S T Jess
instagram.com/jesspaintsface
C L O T H I N G Spokane Dress Rentals
instagram.com/dreamily.gowns
C ROWN , AC C ESORIES AND JE WEL RY
Ghost Hive Studios
instagram.com/ghosthivestudios P H O T O G R A P H E R Hara Allison
instagram.com/hara_allison_photography
Taurus
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Aries
ZODIAC 66 Beneath Your Beautiful Magazine Issue 13 | Jan Feb 2024
C
M O D E L Seth Buswell
instagram.com/_sethiroth M O D E L Cassandra K Carpenter
instagram.com/casskayecars M A K E U P A N D H A I R Gail
instagram.com/deity_on_a_dime FA C E PA I N T A R T I S T Rachel Lenz *Evilina*
instagram.com/valloweenqueen
C ROWN , AC C ESORIES AND JE WEL RY
Ghost Hive Studios
instagram.com/ghosthivestudios P H O T O G R A P H E R Hara Allison
instagram.com/hara_allison_photography
2020
2022
2021
this page P H O T O G R A P H E R Taylor White Photography
Taylorwhitephotography.com
68 Beneath Your Beautiful Magazine Issue 13 | Jan Feb 2024
2023
Shamian Island, Guangzhou, China
by Robin Andrus
Having been blessed with the loving examples of not one, but two grandmothers – women who not only were successful career women, but who also showered their children and grandchildren with unconditional love – it was inevitable that I would develop passions both for raising a family, as well as for learning. In pursuit of the fi rst, I
My youngest daughter was
superintendent and his
married young, and was
fi nally in college, and I was
wife, who I soon learned
blessed with seven beautiful
looking forward to being an
were passionate about
children. As they grew older,
empty nester. I had accepted
international adoptions,
I began to pursue my second
a position as the Director of
particularly adoptions from
passion and attended college
Special Education in Cheney
China. They themselves were
purely for the love of learning,
Public Schools, a school
parents to four children –
never actually thinking I
district serving some smaller
two biologically theirs and
would earn a degree. I also
bedroom communities outside
two children adopted from
never imagined, after raising
of Spokane, Washington.
China. As we got to know
my family and fi nding success
Having previously worked
each other better, they told
in my chosen career, I would
as Assistant Superintendent
stories of children who were
go back for a second helping
of Schools, I was excited
on China’s shared list of
of motherhood.
to meet our new assistant
waiting children, many of
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70 Beneath Your Beautiful Magazine Issue 13 | Jan Feb 2024
69
whom who have complex
medical needs? But a seed
where he had attended for two
medical needs and need to
was planted, and the next few
years. His teachers were so
fi nd a forever family as soon
weeks found me searching
lovely, and hosted a farewell
as possible. It was during
for more information about
ceremony for him that
one of our get-togethers that
this sweet child. I eventually
included a book of handprints
they shared a picture and
discovered his true name and
of all of his classmates. They
story of a beautiful little
the location of the orphanage
created a memory book
boy who had some pretty
responsible for his care.
titled, “The Story of My Life
extensive medical needs.
Thus began the journey
in China” and they lovingly
I saw his picture and was
to my son. After emailing
explained to me how they
immediately drawn to him.
five different international
cared for his medical and
adoption agencies I fi nally
educational needs at school.
born with a condition called
struck gold with Wasatch
They often read to him while
OEIS Syndrome. In his case
International Adoptions out of
caring for his medical needs
he was born with several of
Ogden, Utah. After a routine
so he would be distracted
his internal organs exposed,
background check on me, they
by the stories. During the
including a portion of his
supplied me with his complete
farewell ceremony, the class
intestines, his bladder (it was
fi le and I began to plan.
sang his favorite song, “Gan
in two halves), imperforate
I remember the social
en de Xin,” which translates to
anus (no opening at birth)
worker asking me if I was
“A Thankful Heart.” That song
and a significant case of
sure I wanted to take on a
brought out the grief of this
spina bifida. Although he had
child who is so medically
transition for the fi rst time.
undergone several life-saving
complex. Nothing would
He sobbed as they sang to him,
surgeries in his fi rst few years
sway me. I began the process
and I had so much empathy
of life, he still required more
of adoption in 2018, and
for his pain.
surgical intervention, which
received my travel approval
would only occur if he were
to China in November of
to his foster home. There
placed for adoption with a
2019. My excitement was so
I met his foster parents
family who could afford
great, I planned to arrive in
and foster siblings. We
the procedures.
China a week early so I could
exchanged gifts during this
This beautiful little soul was
After school came a visit
Reading his story, my
visit his Montessori school,
meeting, and he presented
mothering instinct kicked
his orphanage director and
me with five fi nger puppets
in with full force, and I
staff, and his foster family in
and a single piece of White
couldn’t stop thinking about
Beijing prior to flying to his
Rabbit candy, his favorite. I
him. I showed his picture to
birth province to complete the
presented him with a pair of
a few people at work, who
adoption process. I also used
Spiderman sunglasses, some
immediately said, “Oh, you
the opportunity to learn a
hand puppets, and a Captain
need to bring him home.” It
bit about China’s culture and
America figure. To this day he
was an absolutely crazy idea
history with visits to the Great
treasures each of these items
- I thought, “Oh, I don’t know.
Wall and the Forbidden City.
in a special place in his room.
I don’t know.” How would
I fi nally met my son (it is
We were separated for a few
I possibly manage a new
still such a thrill to say that)
days as I traveled by bullet
child in my life with my new
two days prior to his adoption
train to his birth province to
professional role, much less
date. The meeting took place
fi nalize his adoption. It felt
a child with such significant
at the Montessori school
like a lifetime before I saw
Trying out his own bed, in his own room with his own things for the first time.
Healing and eating Cheerios with chopsticks. Inpatient at SHMC children’s hospital.
him again, The day I signed
the end of November. I hadn’t
parents he had been with for
the papers to formally adopt
slept during the 36-hour trip,
two years, foster siblings,
him, we spent the afternoon
managing his medical needs
friends at school, teachers,
in our hotel, trying on his new
and his absolute trauma. I
and the wonderful staff at his
clothes and playing with toys
remember sobbing when we
orphanage who had taken
to celebrate. The Spiderman
got off the plane, exhausted
such extraordinary care
jammies were his favorite. He
from the whole process. You
of him.
was only six years old at the
know, kids who are adopted
I have a lot of background
time and I remember thinking
internationally don’t walk up
working with kids who have
how very tiny he was. His
to you and say, “Well, thank
experienced complex trauma,
clothing size was a diminutive
you so much for ripping me
and I literally used every
4T, and I wondered how
away from everything I’ve
tool I’ve ever been trained
much he would grow once
ever known. This is gonna be
on to help him make this
he adapted to a new home,
great!” Rather, they grieve the
adjustment, but despite all my
culture and foods.
loss of their “normal” which
efforts, he grieved hard.
Our fl ight home came near
in his case included foster
I wanted to give him time
73
Ben in kindergarten. He was so proud to write his name in Chinese characters and in English. His Chinese name is Zhen Hua. They called him Hua Hua for a nickname, translating to “virtuous painting.”
October 2020
72 Beneath Your Beautiful Magazine Issue 13 | Jan Feb 2024
Reconstructive surgery March 2020. He was inpatient 28 days.
Spring 2023
71
to adjust to all of the changes,
day, and it was there that
cord, a consequence of his
to spend time in his own
he experienced his first
spina bifida. His surgeon
room and get used to his new
American Thanksgiving.
was Dr. Jeffery Leonard,
space. Carefully he examined
I was grateful that he
who, ironically, grew up in
his new toys, played, and
attached and bonded quickly
Spokane. I will be forever
eventually jumped vigorously
with me and my family. Bonds
grateful for the excellent
on his bed. This transition
can sometimes be tricky for
care they provided, and the
time was, unfortunately,
kids who are adopted. He also
opportunity for him to live a
cut short, his medical needs
becomes quite attached to
healthy, happy life.
taking precedence over the
the staff in his school, often
need to acclimate.
seeking to connect with them
surgeries behind him, we
after he has graduated to a
continue to see a medical team
new classroom.
at Seattle Children’s Hospital,
Our provider of choice was Sacred Heart Medical Center’s Children’s Hospital,
I am amazed at his
With the most complicated
comprised of a talented team
where he was admitted
resilience, undergoing several
of urology, nephrology and
immediately, and we stayed
surgeries and procedures
infectious disease doctors.
for seven days to treat several
with little complaint. In fact,
You would never know my
infections. The doctors there
he underwent his first major
son has all of these medical
were committed to his case,
surgery just four months after
needs, watching him run,
and immediately ordered a
coming home and remained
jump, perform somersaults
number of diagnostic tests
inpatient for 28 days.
and cartwheels, riding his bicycle… you name it. He
to fully assess his medical
For each of his major
needs. We began to plan for
surgeries we traveled from
loves school and he is a kind
future interventions deemed
Spokane to Columbus, Ohio,
and outgoing young man.
necessary to improve his
with his surgical team at
Nothing slows him down.
health and quality of life.
Nationwide Children’s
In the four years that he’s
That first stay in the
Hospital in the Center
been with me, he’s more than
hospital soon proved to be a
for Colorectal and Pelvic
doubled his weight and he
beautiful opportunity for us
Reconstruction. His first
is up to my shoulders now,
to get to know each other. I
surgery was conducted by
growing from the size 4T
learned he could easily eat
Dr. Richard Wood, Colorectal
to a size 12.
Cheerios with chopsticks, and
Surgeon and Dr. Molly
it was there that he crawled
Fuchs, Urological Surgeon.
of my son! He is beginning
into my lap for the first time.
They worked to create an
to take an active role in his
We met a wonderful nurse
ileostomy as well as an ileal
health and self-care, modeling
on the pediatric floor, who is
conduit (urostomy), creating
for me what it means to
friends with us to this day.
manageable pathways for
advocate for your health and
My son is a resilient fighter
his normal bodily functions,
for the things that are most
and even though he didn’t
and in order to keep him
important. At the forefront of
know any English when he
clean, dry, comfortable
his personality are his loving
first arrived, he was very
and infection free. Several
nature and kindness towards
kind and appreciative toward
months later we returned to
others, as well as the way he
others. I stayed with him
Nationwide for neurosurgery
thrives at school. My son is
in the hospital 24 hours a
to release his tethered spinal
such a gift! BYB
I couldn’t be more proud
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M O D E L Shea Garcia
instagram.com/caseythejones P H O T O G R A P H E R Hara Allison
instagram.com/hara_allison_photography
78 Beneath Your Beautiful Magazine Issue 13 | Jan Feb 2024
M O D ER N WO M EN
M O D E L Marina Gordenko
P H O T O G R A P H E R Tatyana Loshagina
instagram.com/marinagordenko
instagram.com/loshagina_photography
M O D E L Elena Kulkova @Modelstars
C R E AT I V E D I R E C T O R Lidiya Chagaeva Modelstars
M O D E L Ekaterina Kormina @Modelstars
instagram.com/catherine_kormina M O D E L Yuliya Gorbovets
instagram.com/yuliagorbovets
instagram.com/modelstars_ekb
M O D E L Katherine Skinner M A K E U P A R T I S T/ H A I R S T Y L I S T
Kelly Hawkins Skinner
instagram.com/kellyhskinner P H O T O G R A P H E R Sarah Beth Houser
instagram.com/crushmodelstudio facebook.com/CrushModelStudio
Sarah Beth Houser is a fashion photographer, model coach, and fashion designer. She opened Crush Model Studio in 2017 as a safe, supportive safe to nurture models of all ages. She recently showed her “Solid Gold” collection at Union Station KC in the Kritiq Show. Sarah Beth chose the model, Katherine, as she knew Katherine’s dramatic acting skills would tell the story of angst she was hoping to portray.
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midnight belle
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Art-group AKSIKVIDEO
instagram.com/aksikvideo
P H O T O G R A P H E R Yuliya Marchanka
BUBBLE GIRL
M O D E L Arwa Karkouba
instagram.com/arwakarkouba
P H O T O G R A P H E R Houcine Ncib
instagram.com/houcinencibphotography
83 Beneath Your Beautiful Magazine Issue 13 | Jan Feb 2024
hiding from myself
My name is Victoria, I’m from Ukraine. Currently I’m on maternity leave with my daughter Sophia. Photography has always been my passion and especially now in these difficult times for our country. It helps me to go ahead and believe in the good. P H O T O G R A P H E R Victoria Stoliarenko
instagram.com/victoria.drawing_with_light
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HOUSE OF POE T RY
P H O T O G R A P H E R Nadi Raskina
instagram.com/nadi_photolife_ nadiraskina.ru
89 Beneath Your Beautiful Magazine Issue 13 | Jan Feb 2024
Shadows
M O D E L Alexandra
instagram.com/pisareva_alx P H O T O G R A P H E R Kirill Muniabin
instagram.com/mnbn_photo vk.com/mnbn.photo
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R unaway M O D E L Ms Genesis
instagram.com/ms__genesis
P H O T O G R A P H E R David Payne
instagram.com/dapaynesta davidpaynephotography.myportfolio.com With an eye for detail and a unique artistic vision, David Payne takes photography and filmaking to new heights, from breathtaking landscapes to intimate portraits. David has released two street photography books, been published in magazines and has made music videos for three well-known US rappers, as well as several small independent documentries.
boundless
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City streets, hot southern summer, dust roads and a powerful wind of freedom. There is something in common between summer and childhood. This is absolute and boundless happiness! Location: Novorossiysk, Russia Y O U N G M O D E L S Students of the Fenix Cinema Children’s Film School C R E AT I V E D I R E C T O R Inna Karabanova
instagram.com/fenixcinema.novoross
97 Beneath Your Beautiful Magazine Issue 13 | Jan Feb 2024
This photography project captures the authenticity and beauty of my grandmother, Lucia, through a combination of digital and analog photographs. The images tell the stories of life lived, showing the objects she cherished, the corners of the house where she spent so much time, and the everyday moments that fi lled her days. Born in 2001 in Friuli-Venezia Giulia, a land full of memories, I have always experienced the charm of places, in all their meanings and characterizations. My work mainly focuses on the study of identity, on a different vision of the world and on digital manipulation. I attended the Giovanni Sello Art High School in Udine, graduating in Audiovisual and Multimedia. In 2023 I obtained a degree in Photography and New Media at the Italian Academy, Art, Fashion and Design based in Florence. G R E TA P E T TA R I N I
instagram.com/pettarinigretaph
Grandma
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M O D E L Klaudia Kuśmierska
instagram.com/klaudia.kusmierska M A K E U P Ewelina Polita
instagram.com/specialdaymakeup P H O T O G R A P H E R Artur Stelmach
instagram.com/artstelmach arturstelmach.com
This is a documentary beauty series in which the makeup on each model is reflective of the LGBT Pride flag they identify most closely with. The flags represented in these images are: non-binary, genderqueer, bisexual, gay, lesbian, queer, demisexual and asexual.
M O D E L Lou Reader M O D E L Aurora -Zehra Rizvi M O D E L Tom Wray M O D E L Jo Frenzel M O D E L Gee Smith M O D E L Chase Reeve M O D E L Poppy Landen M O D E L Avery Kirin M O D E L Sophia Barnett M O D E L Rae Alexander M O D E L Tom Percival-Stein M O D E L Liam Stattin Nisseborn M A K E U P A R T I S T/ H A I R S T Y L I S T Kitty Scarlet
instagram.com/kittyscarletmua H A I R S T Y L I S T Katie Beadon
M A K E U P A R T I S T Nicole Cullinane M A K E U P A R T I S T Charlotta Richards
instagram.com/charlottamua
P H O T O G R A P H E R Charlotte Riddette-Page
instagram.com/charlotterp.photography charlotteriddettepage.myportfolio.com
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M O D E L Roman Smelser P H O T O G R A P H E R Hara Allison
instagram.com/hara_allison_photography
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summer M O D E L Aleksandra Balcerzak
instagram.com/vanity_bird
M O D E L Ilia Vergara Nordland
instagram.com/ilia.nordland
M O D E L Nikita Renée Borgsø @Starlet by Wonderwoman management
instagram.com/nrb.renee
P H O T O G R A P H E R Eirill DeLonge
instagram.com/eirill_delonge facebook.com/eirilldelongeb eirilldelonge.com
A G E N C Y Starlet By Wonderwoman Management
instagram.com/starlet_model_agency A S S I S TA N T Andreas Mareliussen
instagram.com/andreas_mareliussen
104 Beneath Your Beautiful Magazine Issue 13 | Jan Feb 2024
dreams
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Siren Dark
M O D E L Hannah Elizabeth
instagram.com/daighwitch
P H O T O G R A P H E R Hara Allison
instagram.com/hara_allison_photography
M O D E L Ceydar Davis
instagram.com/ceydarofficial P H O T O G R A P H E R Hara Allison
instagram.com/hara_allison_photography
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A R T I S T Sonya Schwartz
mission-driven
Committed to spreading positivity and hope and improving lives through raw and compassionate storytelling.
We make your story look extraordinary Do you have a story, artwork and/or photography to share?
Email hara@beneathyourbeautiful.org or submit via kavyar.com/beneath-your-beautiful-magazine
All images on this and the opposite page were taken by Hara Allison Photography | www.hara.photography
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And can be purchased via print-on-demand at blurb.
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Integrity Insurance Solutions is one of the leading insurance brokerage offices in the greater Spokane area. Our brokers are trained in Medicare, Individual and Family, life insurance, final expense, and many other health insurance needs.
We pride ourselves in gaining trust from our clients by upholding a customer-comes-first approach. 509-489-6903 | inquiries@integritybrokers.org
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