BBC TopGear June 2023

ONLY FANS: FLAT-OUT IN GORDON MURRAY’S

Return of the...

R5

READY TO PARTY LIKE IT’S THE 80s? ALPINE IS REVIVING A LEGEND

*OK, TECHNICALLY IT’S NOT A RENAULT, AND THERE ARE NO TURBOS... BUT THE HOT HATCH LIVES ON!

RETRO SPECIAL

TOTALLY RAD Radford 62-2 on road and track: what Jenson did after F1

SHUTTLE RUN

Launching a Bugatti Chiron to (almost) 250mph in NASA’s back garden £5.99

up to 280 miles range, rapid charge as standard and with Google built-in*

all new Megane E-Tech 100% electric iconic Zero tailpipe emissions. CO2: 0g/km, MPG: n/a.

wltp figures shown are for comparability purposes. actual real world driving results may vary depending on factors including the starting charge of the battery, accessories fitted after registration, weather conditions, driving styles and vehicle load. *Google and Google Maps are trademarks of Google LLC. Google built-in standard from techno.

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Are electric hot hatches actually viable? I want the answer to be an emphatic yes, we all do, right? Because a world without hot hatches in it is like a bacon sandwich without ketchup... not completely unpleasant, but ultimately a bit dry.

But hang on, doesn’t an electric version of a pumped up hatch go against everything that made them great in the first place? A hot hatch should be if not cheap, then certainly attainable. As it stands, electric cars still cost more than a petrol powered equivalent. A hot hatch should also be relatively small, nimble and chuckable (usually through the nearest hedge, backwards) whereas batteries are heavy and handling therefore cumbersome. Just ask the new 580bhp Hyundai Ioniq 5 N, predicted to top two tonnes.

A hot hatch should be bristling with character, often this comes from the snickety manual gearbox or the rorty small-capacity engine working its socks off under the bonnet. An EV has no need for gearchanges and they all deliver their power in the same stealthy, instant, homogenised hit. Simulated sound cranked through the speakers is just cheating by the way... we’re looking at you Abarth 500e Scorpionissima.

A hot hatch should also be useful – seating for four or five with a proper boot. They should be as suited to a tip run as they are to zipping up the Stelvio or visiting relatives in Norwich, and yet any high powered EV will suck the juice from its battery faster than its lesser-powered cousin, so the range is unlikely to be stellar. Add more battery to counteract that and while you might gain miles and solve one problem, you enter the death spin of increased weight in all the others.

Sure, battery tech will forge ahead and there will come a day when you can have a hatchback with solid state batteries, with as much grunt as you like, that weighs less than today’s Golf GTI (1,429kg) and handles with similar finesse, but I’d estimate that’s at least 10 years away. Doesn’t look fantastic does it?

And then Renault, with its Alpine beret on, goes and produces something cooler than liquid nitrogen and I want one immediately, regardless of what I’ve rationalised above. Shades of the Eighties R5 Turbo cloaked in ice white modernism... and a central driving position. I know the latter won’t make production, but even so, bravo Alpine. Please, take my money.

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Stainless steal.

In 1972, famed designer Gérald Genta created an oxymoron. Priced more than many precious metal rivals, the ‘luxury stainless steel timepiece’ was not an immediate success. But eventually its tough, elegant body, integrated bracelet and patterned dial caught on. A watch that dressed up for dinner. Or down, at the pool. Today’s 41mm, base automatic of that original watch costs £22,850 more than the new ‘Twelve’ - named for its dodecagon-sided bezel and rear lock ring. Our watch is thinner, goes deeper and offers a choice of C1/BL Grade X1-lumed dials. A polished, brushed and sandblasted case of daylight (and night time) robbery? Do your research.

christopherward.com

Intelligent garden care Cable-free

STIGA

Autonomous robot mowers

Guided by AGS technology for a more intelligent cutting session

A 1500 A 3000 A 5000

CONTENTS

ISSUE 372 / JUNE 2023

050 ALPINE 290 _ B

The R5 Turbo is back! Sort of! It’s all electric and has an Alpine badge, but this concept proves EV hot hatches could be a thing

059 TG GUIDE TO RETRO

Join us for a whistlestop tour of the past 60 years but beware, there’s a thin line between cool and unforgiveable

066 RADFORD TYPE 62-2

We join Jenson Button to discover just what a former F1 world champion’s ultimate road car is like to drive

076 SHUTTLE RUN

What better sendoff for the Bugatti Chiron than a 250mph run at the Kennedy Space Center? Kew lives out his fantasy

084 VOLKSWAGEN AMAROK

Some vehicles need more than a regular road test We take the Amarok to meet South Africa’s anti rhino-poaching unit

094 GMA T.50 FLAT-OUT

We don’t normally do passenger rides, but when Gordon Murray offers you a lift in his new car, it s kinda hard to say no

McLAREN 750S · MG

CYBERSTER · POLESTAR 4

We take a look at the McLaren 750S, tell you the best videos to watch online and get to grips with the rear-windowless Polestar 4

010

DELUXE SOFT-TOPS · Q8

E-TRON · EQE SUV · MG HS

The Merc SL takes on the Porsche 911 Carrera and Bentley Conti GTC

Plus Audi Q8 e-tron Sportback and Merc EQE SUV tested

032

084

032

SUBARU STASH · RICCI’S GARAGE · S3 PROGRESS

We visit one of the world’s biggest collectors of Subarus, Ricci goes through every emotion trying to sell a car and Audi S3 o d vs new 113

ORA FUNKY CAT · VW

MULTIVAN · HONDA CIVIC

We say goodbye to the impressive Civic, the Funky Cat squares up to the Mini Electric plus Gordon Murray s thoughts on the Multivan 123

EVERYONE IS TALKING ABOUT THE

‘NEW’ McLAREN

Here it is folks, the McLaren 750S. Looks a lot like the 720S, sure, but the changes run deep

Although McLaren says meticulous analysis was done to improve the 720S, a sense of impishness has entered the previously rather uptight Woking lexicon. While the numbers never lie and the 750S’s 579bhp per tonne power to weight ratio is class leading, the new car is definitely more... punk rock. Sharper, sonically enhanced, and more interactive, think of it as more accessible and less intimidating than the knife edge 765LT. The 4.0 twin-turbo V8 now makes 740bhp and 590lb ft, and rockets to 62mph in 2.8secs and 124mph in 7.2. Sure, the 720 was hardly deficient in that department, but a whole load of fine tuning has gone on to liberate a bit more soul.

We know what you’re thinking, though. Did McLaren’s design team nip down the pub while their colleagues in engineering did all the heavy lifting? The 750S is different, honest. McLaren says 30 per cent of its components are new or changed, although its body design will inevitably underwhelm the noisier parts of the internet. Its nose is lower and smoother, there’s a longer front splitter, the intakes that house the headlights are narrower (and still called ‘eye sockets’, more’s the pity), and

there are new sill air intakes and rear wheelarch vents.

But the biggest visual alterations are at the back: an undulating mesh cover spans a reprofiled rear deck and funnels air towards a longer rear wing. That’s positioned above a new central exit exhaust tuned for greater efficiency and more audible sonic kicks. The wing’s surface area is 20 per cent greater than the one on the 720S, but it weighs 1.6kg less because it’s made of carbon fibre. It deploys in three ways: push the ‘aero’ button and you get more downforce in corners depending on how fast you’re going, there’s a DRS function for low drag high speed runs, and high speed braking sees the wing pop up in less than half a second for maximum retardation.

McLaren’s clever Proactive Chassis Control linked hydraulic suspension has also been reworked. The springs are three per cent softer at the front and four per cent stiffer at the rear, which should make the car more playful without compromising the existing car’s phenomenal ride quality and roll control.

The 750S’s front track is 6mm wider and the electro-hydraulic steering – a McLaren signature in a world of fully electric systems – has a faster ratio and new power

assistance pump. The turn-in and front end grip on this thing should be mighty. There’s also a Variable Drift Control and the option of 390mm carbon ceramic brakes. Oh, and a vehicle lift system that cuts the 720S’s time from 10 seconds to four.

The interior is improved too: as on the Artura, the Powertrain and Handling mode buttons live on the side of the main instrument binnacle. Much easier to find and use. A new device called MCL, or McLaren Control Launcher, allows the driver to store their preferred

combination of aero, handling, powertrain and transmission settings. There’s also a new central infotainment touchscreen which sits in an aluminium surround and has improved graphics. Carbon fibre shelled racing seats are standard, and combined weigh 17.5kg less than the ones in the 720S.

Quality? “This is a car we know how to build,” McLaren says. The 750S comes with a three-year unlimited mileage warranty. Boring, but important.

Jason Barlow

Fancy 0–62mph in a smidge under three seconds? Please take a seat here...

COFFEE BREAK

What we’re watching/ listening/doing, while we should be working

HYUNDAI AMICA

Tetris

, Apple TV+

In the spirit of retro, we’re watching Taron Egerton tessellate into Henk Rogers, the man who discovered Tetris back in 1988. This film explains how Henk brought the game to the world... but doesn’t explain how Kelly beat my high score at Video Knights in 1996

It seems the humble city car is spluttering its last. Low profit margins and ever more stringent emissions regulations mean the tiny, cheap urban runabout looks likely to soon go the way of the Wispa Mint (rest in peace, you magnificent chocolateytoothpastey creation).

Car magazine etiquette obliges we must mourn this mass extinction of cheap ’n’ cheerful transport. But, as we enter the city car’s final hours, we must remember that not all of them were midget gems. For every VW Up, there was a Perodua Kelisa. Or a Proton Savvy. Or a Hyundai Amica.

Vitality Women’s FA Cup Final, 14 May

Magdalena Eriksson’s Chelsea vs Katie Zelem’s Man United at Wembley is set to break attendance records. Over 65,000 tickets have been sold so far! Back of the net!

Sure, the Amica was cheap. Cheerful? Not so much. The list of positives was as stumpy as its wheelbase. Innovative, minimalist design? No. Pared back practicality? Also no. Peppy urban handling? Very much no.

The seating position was disconcertingly high, increasing the terrifying possibility that someone might see you driving it. The weirdly large steering wheel wasn’t adjustable for height or reach, and wasn’t obviously attached to the front wheels.

But worst of all was that helpless yet pleading face, a sorry visage that begged, “Please, please, end the futile pain of my existence”. Hyundai did, eventually, but not before inflicting the Amica on some 23,000 undeserving Brits.

TopGear magazine fix

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We’ll miss the city cars when they’re gone. Just not this one.

Public Service Broadcasting, The Race for Space

Nowt to do with the Beeb, but this 2015 album has put us firmly in the shuttle cockpit while designing our space feature (p76). Word is that had Kew been listening to this during his high speed run he’d have reached 250mph...

TopGear TV, BBC iPlayer

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FAIL OF THE CENTURY #28

CYBER MIDGET

Once again MG will sell you a sports car... only this time it’s electric

Right, this is it: the MG Cyberster electric sports car in production form. And credit where credit’s due, it looks like the real deal.

We say looks like because... we’re still waiting to see the thing in the metal. However, MG has used the Shanghai Motor Show to announce that the Cyberster will go on sale in the UK and Europe in the summer of 2024. Good seasonal timing, as it also happens to be a convertible.

Which brings us to the details: there aren’t any. We continue to wait on those all-important performance specs, which means we can only remind you of the initial claims: 0–62mph in less than three seconds and very nearly 500 miles of range.

“This is the perfect time to introduce an MG that completely reconnects with our performance DNA and is designed to enthral the driver on every level,” said Guy Pigounakis, MG Motor UK’s commercial director. “MG is all set for an electric, sporting future and it is the perfect way to start celebrating our 100th anniversary.”

Difficult to know what the Cyberster will be pitched against when it does arrive given that we’ve had no word on price, but considering the dearth of electric sports cars thus far, let’s hope it’s closer to the (sort of sporty) Mini Electric Convertible (£52k) than the Lotus Evija (£2.4 million). Joe Holding

The powered-up DBS swansgong wears delectable Valkyrie-esque spiderweb wheels Don’t hide them with black paint. And whatever you do, step away from the pinstripes Please

Procrastination ahoy! Six videos worth watching on the web this month

JENSON’S NEW WHEELS

Radford’s Type 62-2 reimagines the Sixties Lotus Europa Based on the Lotus Exige, it has a s/c 3 5-litre V6 in the back with up to 605bhp And zero driver aids Fortunately, we had former F1 champ Mr Button to show us the way

PRIME PORK

Porsche’s Cayenne SUV has had a bit of a revamp There are new engines, suspension, slightly crisper looks and a screen-tastic interior Ready to dive in? Let Ollie Kew be your guide

SUPER DARIO BROTHERS

We don’t often do passenger rides, but when Gordon Murray offers a go in his new hypercar, you don’t say no. Especially when it involves 12,000rpm runs on the TG track with triple Indy 500 winner Dario Franchitti

GOING, GOING, GONE!

Barrett-Jackson does car auctions with American showmanship, pizzazz, noise, energy, hype, scale, speedboats, dust, liquor, excitement and people. It’s weirdly, oddly captivating We had to take a look

VANILLA ICE, ICE, HYUNDAI

Hyundai’s Ioniq 5 N isn’t finished. The noise it’ll pump in the cabin isn’t finalised and the bodywork disguised All we know is it’ll have at least 580bhp and be able to drift... So we went to the Arctic Circle for a go.

ALONG CAME A SPIDER

Anyone for a 608bhp Cosworth V12 and no pesky ceiling muffling the 11,100rpm engine note? The T 33 Spider is the second model since the coupe reveal in 2021 and only 100 will be built. Ollie Kew gets the tour from Gordon himself...

WATCHES

CLOCK AND ROLL

If the world’s biggest rockers spend this much on watches, why are they always late on stage?

Rock stars love a good watch. From John Lennon’s Patek Philippe to Slash’s Breitling, a handsome watch has long been a vital part of the stage uniform. But while some may just see it as a prop to make them look cool, others take it to the next level, so obsessed that it’s a wonder they have any time left to make any music.

When Eric Clapton gets into something, he doesn’t do it by halves. His love of Ferraris is well known, having bought so many over the years that in 2012 he was allowed to commission a one-off all of his own, the 458 Italia-based SP12 EC. But his automotive addiction is mild compared to how he feels about watches. He has bought countless Rolex and Patek Philippes and his collection has been called “museum quality”. This is not just a man of means buying things he fancies – as well as many new watches, Clapton has carefully sought mega-rare vintage pieces, some costing several million quid.

Singer-songwriter John Mayer is so into watches that he has added journalist to his CV. His knowledge is encyclopaedic and he pores over rare vintage watches like an archaeologist uncovering lost treasures. He regularly writes about his passion for watches and his ability to generate interest and boost the resale price of certain models has led to him being called the world’s most influential watch collector.

Ed Sheeran’s style is generally casual, with his habit of wearing a hoodie onstage. But he does not take such a laid-back approach to the acquisition of watches. He has previously sung about being “thrifty” and making the most out of his local all-you-caneat restaurant. But now, Sheeran is rarely spotted wearing the same watch twice and has a collection boasting – among many, many others – several from Audemars Piguet and Richard Mille that cost in the high six figures, as well as at least one vintage Patek Philippe perpetual calendar worth well north of a million.

But it’s not all about the money. While rock stars do love to splash their hard-sung cash on a bit of bling, the three watch nuts mentioned above have all been seen wearing different versions of the Casio G-Shock (see opposite page). So if you want the awardwinning collection, you need a few spare mil, but if you just want a watch that rock stars wear, a couple of hundred quid is plenty.

Richard Holt

BLOW THE BUDGET

ROLEX GMT MASTER II

The original Rolex GMT was designed in the mid-Fifties in collaboration with Pan-Am. Back in the glory days of jet travel, pilots needed a watch that could tell the time in different timezones and look good doing it. Pan-Am is long gone, but later versions of the watch are still finding favour among pilots and jet-setting rock stars. The Master II came out in the Eighties, offering the ability to change the hour hand in one-hour increments, without disturbing the other hands. Steel versions start the range at £13,850, but this rock star version in yellow gold is £32,700; rolex.com

The famously frugal Mick Jagger is just one of many famous rockers to opt for a Carrera. It’s no giveaway, but the brand has always been seen as good value rather than flash. With in-house automatic chronograph movement in a 42mm brushed steel case, and water resistant to 100m. £5,000; tagheuer.com

Elvis wore this futuristic electronic watch in the 1961 film Blue Hawaii, liking it so much he kept it and helped create a watch with enduring star appeal. There are now many larger mechanical versions, but this slender quartz number is closest in size and spirit to the King of Rock ’n’ Roll’s original. From £850; hamiltonwatch.com

As a no-nonsense piece of kit, the G-Shock is hard to beat. Just ask the many special forces around the world who use them. Also beloved of everyone from Bieber to Snoop Dogg. Super tough with 200m water resistance. Prices start under £100, while this steel version with cloth strap is £189; g-shock.co.uk

TAG HEUER CARRERA CHRONO

CASIO G-SHOCK

AROUND £5K

HAMILTON VENTURA

UNDER £1K

UNDER £200

THE KNOWLEDGE

Need-to-know nuggets of automotive news

LONG LIVE MPV!

Lexus is going to sell its swanky new second gen LM MPV in the UK for the first time. The outside doesn’t look brilliant, but there’s a super fancy four-seater version that comes with a 48in TV, fridge and fold-out tables

Forza Horizon 5 Rally Adventure

Forza Horizon 5 certainly knows how to tug on our nostalgia The new Rally Adventure downloadable add-on kicks off by placing you in the same Colin McRae Ford Focus RS from 2001 that we spent many an hour wrapping around trees on the original PlayStation For your 20 quid, Rally Adventure serves up another wodge of gorgeous, idealised Mexico, this time riddled with switchback laden canyon roads designed to make the most of four-wheel-drive gravel cannons This is a somewhat authentic rally experience too –there is the option to turn off the racing line and rely on the brand new pace notes system to warn you of what lies ahead Rally Adventure is not quite as out there as the Hot Wheels add-on that preceded it – this is very much Horizon in its comfort zone Still, are you going to turn your nose up at more Forza Horizon 5? That’s like saying, “Well, we’ve had a few thousand years of chocolate, probably that’s enough ”

Mike Channell

GOLD PLATED

A Dubai auction has set a new record for the priciest numberplate, with ‘P 7’ fetching £12m. Proceeds from the sale have gone to charity, and you can expect the plate to be haring through Knightsbridge on a Lambo any day

GEAR

M&D MG20 BUGATTI WIRELESS GAMING HEADPHONES

Are you a gamer with far too much money and a penchant for Bugattis? Well, you’re in luck, because New Yorkbased soundsters Master & Dynamic have combined your two favourite things As part of a collaboration with the hypercar builder, M&D has unveiled the limited edition MG20 Bugatti gaming

headphones, which feature 7 1 surround sound, magnesium ear cups, and plenty of leather and Alcantara We’re told the colours are inspired by popular Chiron combinations, too We’re particularly keen on the Chiron Super Sport 300+ style black and orange look $599; masterdynamic.com

GOT ANY ID?

VW has shown first pics of its ID.7 EV saloon, and it says it’ll manage 435 miles from its 86kWh battery in Pro S spec. The ID.7 benefits from a ‘new infotainment concept’ and will launch later this year

FLOP 10

The new Citiline SUV from Indian firm Force Motors is inspired by Merc’s G-Class. It has room for 10 and will cost about £15k in India – explains the 90bhp 2.6-litre diesel, leaf spring rear suspension and drum brakes

HUGE MONEY FOR TINY CARS

Mini

Cooper SE Convertible

Electric SUVs? Loads of them EV superminis?

Aplenty. Electric convertibles? Not many, so far. Mini’s not likely to change that: only 150 battery powered soft-tops are UK bound, and each starts at a massive £52,500 Which is a lot, for only 125 miles of suntan boosting range

It gets more bizarre with every passing year: a 97bhp Toyota iQ city car treated to new lights, bumpers and leather hide inside, and marketed as an Aston Martin. Only around 150 were sold, as you’d expect with a price tag north of £30k – three times what the mechanically identical iQ cost

Fiat Abarth 695 Tributo Ferrari

This was Fiat’s attempt at cornering the high spec city car market: an Abarth 500 painted in Rosso Corsa, with a paddleshift gearbox, a 20bhp power hike and carbon fibre trim An official tribute to Ferrari, each of the 150 UK bound examples from the limited run of 500 cars was priced at £37,500.

Audi A1 Quattro

Audi’s pre-S1 attempt to turn the chic A1 into a hot hatch worthy of the Quattro name was a proper job: a 252bhp engine under the bonnet, 4WD, turbofan alloy wheels and a WRC-spec wing Only 333 were built of which 18 came to the UK (in LHD only). For this, you were asked to pay £41,000.

Mini Inspired by Goodwood

This tie-up between Mini and Rolls-Royce turned up in 2012, and it’s a proper rarity: 1,000 units worldwide, of which 100 were earmarked for UK sale. In return for £41k, MIBG owners got a Cooper S weighed down with the softest cows known to man, real walnut dashboard and lambswool carpets

Aston Martin Cygnet V8

One Aston enthusiast attempted to boost the Cygnet’s reputation by commissioning a city car with the 4 7-litre engine and running gear from a V8 Vantage S. The total paid is a closely guarded Aston secret, but we were told to do another would cost in the region of £250,000–£500,000

Smart Brabus Ultimate E Mercedes tuner Brabus has been adding more power and attitude to the diminutive Smart car for decades The Ultimate E cabrio is good for 92bhp and 0–62mph in 10 9secs, which isn’t very ‘Brabus’ – but the price is. Back in 2020, one would set you back £45k

Honda e

Besides the limited edition Mini cabrio up top, the Honda e is the only car of our nine still on sale today It’s a very lovable device, the e – fun to drive, cute to look at, comfy to sit in and very well put together But for a mere 130 miles of range, its price of just under £37,000 is a lot.

Peel P50

The smallest car ever in the world will cost you a big ol’ pile of moolah, if you want one of the original 192 examples Fewer than 30 exist today, and at auction they command £110,000–£120,000. Happily, you can buy a brand new recreation with petrol or electric power for around a tenth of that

Aston Martin Cygnet

5 THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THE...

POLESTAR 4

Polestar’s fourth car asks you to think differently about your rear view

THERE ARE CAMERAS INSTEAD

The panoramic roof stretches behind backseat passengers’ heads to aid the feeling of space, while the actual view out the back is taken care of by a pair of digital cameras feeding images into the rearview mirror. Polestar promises you won’t get sick looking at it, countering that with this digital set-up you’ll see more of what’s going on behind.

3IT’LL BE AVAILABLE IN TWO VARIANTS

The first is a single motor set-up, with one electric motor on the rear axle powered by a 94kWh battery offering up 268bhp/253lb ft of torque and 0–62mph in 7.4secs. The second is a dual motor set-up – one on each axle – with the same lithium-ion battery producing 537bhp/506lb ft, and able to hit 62mph in just 3.8secs.

THE RANGE IS IMPRESSIVE TOO

While the performance specs make it the fastest Polestar you can currently buy (until, one suspects, the Polestar 5 lands in 2025), a more pertinent metric is range. The single motor car is targeting up to 372 miles, while the dual motor wants to hit 350 miles (WLTP). Find a 200kW charger and you’ll go from five to 80 per cent in just over half an hour.

IT DOESN’T HAVE A REAR WINDOW

2 4 5 1

In Polestar’s desire to offer something over and above the standard approach to SUV coupes it has declined to fit a clear glass viewing area at the back of the 4. The removal of the rear window wasn’t an accident it had to design its way out of, instead a byproduct of wanting to offer more rear headroom.

IT GETS A SPORTSWEAR INSPIRED INTERIOR

Polestar’s worked hard on making the interior clean and inviting by taking inspiration from sportswear. The ‘soft tech’ theme sees a new raft of sustainable materials including tailored knit textile, and “animal welfare secured” Nappa leather available for the upholstery, for example. Price? Between £45k–65k.

A swoopier roofline usually results in reduced headroom... something Polestar says isn’t the case here

“I would totally recommend Shell V-Power, whether you have an old car like I do, or a new one”

These days, I run a vintage Jaguar restoration workshop with my husband, Will. We aim to keep all of the car’s integrity and adventure, while making it drive as new. And whether it’s our beloved Mini, the classics in our garage or newer cars, we use new and improved Shell V-Power. Now it up to 100% cleans critical engine parts to fully rejuvenate your engine’s performance – which I didn’t know – I’m even more glad we do. I would totally recommend using Shell V-Power, whether you have an old car like me or a new one

BEHIND THE LENS

Car photographer Amy Shore on her formative driving memories, her love of capturing and restoring beautiful classic vehicles, and how Shell V-Power fuels her passion

My earliest memories of being around cars are having Formula One bits all over my lawn as a child, because my dad used to work with Team Lotus. Even then, there was something about classic cars that made me think, that’s cool.

We lived in the country, so on my 17th birthday, my parents gave me my first driving lesson. Then when I was 19, I bought my classic Mini. Back then, I didn’t even have the knowledge to fix cars – luckily Dad would help me, always making sure I was there while he was working on it. That car became an exciting avenue to freedom, and I still have it now.

From the age of 12-13, I would take my digital camera with me everywhere, photographing life, holidays, everything really. After I graduated, some old work friends of my dad’s got together to rebuild a replica Ferrari P4 from the 1960s, and I got the chance to photograph it.

I’d never shot a car in my life, so I tried to really appreciate it as a piece of art for the first time – how the light fell on the curves, the geometry of the wheels and the body. Before then, photographing cars was something I had no intention of doing, but I found my dream job doing it.

One of my favourite ever shots came at the Goodwood Revival. There were rain puddles on the ground by the cars, and I wanted to capture a reflection of someone walking past. A couple happened to stop just in the right place and kiss. It’s about the cars, but it’s also about those little moments. That’s why I’d say to budding photographers: shoot what you love, not what you think you’re meant to.

To read more about Amy’s experiences on the road, restoring Jags and the classic gems in her garage, scan the QR code

“Photographing cars was something I had no intention of ever doing, but I found my dream job by doing it”

Lydia and ‘Soil’ – her beloved 1973 Saab 99L, as photographed by Amy Shore (inset)

THIS MONTH:

MARQUES BROWNLEE

HARD DRIVE

We download YouTube’s #1 tech expert on whatever he’s been driving this month

The overall design and aerodynamic teardrop shape is probably my favourite thing about the EQXX. It gets a swooping roofline and a long tail with loads of extra active aero. The magnesium aero spec wheels are extremely cool too.

This is not a production car. It’ll probably never be a production car. And yet, the Mercedes-Benz Vision EQXX is a ridiculously cool prototype that proves what an EV would look and act like if all of the dials were turned towards maximum efficiency.

The truth is that every car has to make a series of compromises – not even the world’s most extreme hypercars go 100 per cent all-in on performance – but the Vision EQXX was designed from scratch to show just how far an EV could go on a charge with today’s tech.

The answer? Really very far indeed, it turns out. Back in April 2022 the EQXX managed its target of over 1,000km (621 miles) without plugging in, but the test drivers clearly enjoyed the slog so much that they then went out and managed a remarkable 1,202km (747 miles) from its near 100kWh battery.

AERO, DY NAMIC

LIGHT FANTASTIC

Not just the exterior that’s high tech. Interior gets a giant 47.5in 8k display that stretches the width of the dash, and the seats are super thin with speakers inside them to save weight.

DOPE TECH

MB’S FAVOURITE FEATURE

The active rear diffuser slips out when the car gets above 37mph and it is able to reduce the drag coefficient from 0.18 to 0.17.

able to reduce the 0 18 0 17

It also happens to look super cool on the move

CRAMPED STYLE

That roofline is very cool and swoopy, but the back seats are basically a prop If this were a real production car, you’d question their presence There’s almost no legroom and headroom is terrible

WAIT SAVING

You might expect this eco warrior to be snail like Not so It weighs 1,755kg and there’s over 200bhp being sent to the rear wheels, so the EQXX is no slouch

THRIFT STORAGE

No front or rear boot space, because this car is an experiment and storage wasn’t a factor. Just some engineering test equipment in there.

VERDICT

You’ll never be able to buy this car, but it’s really cool to see Mercedes putting so much time and effort into an efficiency experiment. That’s the reason the EQS has a claimed 453-mile range.

THE DRIVE: THE TECH: THE WANT:

CONSUMER TECH COMPARISON...

A college science fair project. It’s not really a piece of consumer tech. That’s the vibe that Mercedes has gone for. The EQXX is a project on wheels.

TOPGEAR’S GUIDE TO THE FUTURE OF EVERYTHING

MYTH BUSTER

“YOU CAN SAVE TIME BY DRIVING SLOWLY”

This came up when strategising for our M25 electric car challenge a month ago Some folk think that by driving slowly to use less energy, they’ll spend less time charging and arrive faster They’re wrong Except in a few limited circs, anyway Drive at 70mph In three hours, if the motorway’s clear, you’ve done 210 miles Your cautious friend in an identical car drives at 60, taking 30 minutes longer Even if you’re unlucky and can find only a 50kW charger rather than an ultra rapid,

NOW

SMELL THE MONEY

in half an hour you can take on 25kWh, which is about 80 miles’ worth, just as your friend rolls up to the charge station.

But your friend would argue their battery is less depleted. True. Thing is, you’d have used perhaps 10–12kWh more energy than them, and as we’ve seen you’ve already made that up, and much more. On an ultra rapid charger you’d be clearer by an even bigger margin.

But there are exceptions. If the journey length is at the limit of your likely range

it’s probably better to slow down and go for a no-stop strategy. But that’s unlikely. Think of your EV’s practical range, draw that radius on a map and see if any of your frequent destinations lie on the circle. More probable is that a ‘long’ trip will be somewhere beyond your comfortable range. Then it’s best to drive at your happy speed, let the battery get down to below 30 per cent (so it’ll accept charge rapidly) and then do a brief pitstop that’ll carry you to the end.

Paul Horrell

LATER WHO KNOWS?

OLD DOG, NEW TRICKS

LIGHT, PEDESTRIAN, ACTION

Mercedes has revealed its first posh electric Maybach, based on the EQS SUV. Black credit cards at the ready

Meet Spike, Mini’s new intelligent personal assistant, or in other words, guide dog for your touchscreen. Actually not a stupid idea

Skoda is trialling dancing LED signals in the Enyaq’s grille to help pedestrians cross the road. RIP Green Cross Code

THE STIG

Chris Harris is away, so we asked The Stig for his thoughts on life, cars... anything really

“01010011 01000101 01001110 01000100 00100000 01001000 01000101 01001100 01010000”

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It’s mad, but it’s never going to change. The UK’s 70mph motorway speed limit was established (as a temporary measure!) nearly 60 years ago, in an era when brakes were made of lambswool and crumple zones of cottage cheese. Sixty years before 1965, they’d only just removed the requirement for motor vehicles to be led by a chap waving a flag. But here we are in 2023, still stuck with our 70mph limit, and isn’t that just a bit weird?

Personally, I’m all for lower speed limits when motorways are busy, or foggy, or icy, or wet. I’m all for 20mph zones in towns. But imposing a 70mph limit on an empty, dry motorway, in a modern car, is like banning Michael Phelps from his local swimming baths unless he’s wearing armbands.

The French know this, allowing their autoroutists to do 130kph (81mph) in bonnes conditions. Yet Brits apparently can’t be trusted beyond 70, and no politicians will ever change this, because apparently suggesting a modest increase in motorway speeds is the moral equivalent of campaigning on a ‘feed all the puppies into a sausage mincer’ platform.

However. There is a simple solution to retaining the 70mph limit, yet legally going faster on motorways. Why don’t we just make our miles a bit longer?

It works, mathematically. Extend the length of a mile by, say, 20 per cent, and we can stick to that nice, politically correct 70mph, yet go quicker on the M5. Same 70 limit, just each one of those 70s is a bit bigger.

If you’re thinking, won’t that make a horrible mess of our entire established notion of distance, a) yes it will, but b) so what? Pretty much no one apart from us, and the USA, uses miles in the first place, and the Americans love a bit of supersizing. And does any one of us really know exactly how long a mile is? It’s a daft unit of measurement, let’s use that to our advantage here.

(Added bonus: elongating the mile will make running a marathon even more arduous and awful than it already is, which is exactly what you deserve if you sign up to run a marathon.)

But if you’re not down with the idea of messing with our units of distance, here’s another option for upping motorway speeds without breaking 70mph. Make our hours shorter.

Reduce an hour to, say, 50 minutes, and we can keep that 70mph speed limit, but we’ll have to go quicker to clock up that same distance in less time. Again, I know what you’re thinking: Sam, you’re a genius. You’ve just knocked 80 minutes off my eight-hour working day. Where do I sign?

You’re welcome. Sure, there’s a bit of admin to sort out. Scratching a few digits off the world’s clocks, for starters. And figuring out what to do with those missing 240 minutes left over at the end of the day. But frankly that’s child’s play compared to pretending a six-decade-old speed limit makes sense.

are now free to stream on BBC

Sam Philip is the TopGear telly script editor, and a TG mag and website regular for 15 years. Once wrote a Vauxhall Corsa joke that Paddy McGuinness described as “not totally crap”

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iPlayer

It’s time we started thinking

outside the box when it comes to UK speed limits, says TGTV’s Sam Philip

“DOES ANY ONE OF US REALLY KNOW EXACTLY HOW LONG A MILE IS?”

Is the dust settling around the Aston Martin Valkyrie and Mercedes-AMG One? I can’t find any tester who unreservedly likes either. Full disclosure, I haven’t driven them – frankly I don’t have the skills to take full advantage of any car so fast. I’ll leave it to the hotshoes, including our own Chris Harris and Ollie Marriage. But, ahem, I seem to be skilled at predicting the future. For years I’ve been saying they’d never work. In July 2018 I wrote, “They’re ‘road cars’ in the sense of road legal, but severely compromised as such by their track mission. Equally the track car bit will be undermined by the need to do speed bumps and emissions tests.”

Two years before, in 2016, I’d interviewed Adrian Newey, Red Bull Racing’s tech chief who led the Valkyrie project before departing, and Marek Reichman, Aston Martin’s head of design. They said there’d be a track version, and it would be very similar to the road one, except for aero and tyres and chassis set-up. “We don’t have time to do two cars,” Reichman said.

In the end they absolutely did do two cars – the AMR Pro having a longer wheelbase and bigger monocoque. Critically, it ditches the hybrid powertrain, active aero and hydraulic active suspension. Saving itself a huge 300kg. Chris Harris says the AMR Pro is “one of the most special cars I’ve had the pleasure to drive”.

He said, as I’d predicted, that losing those complications necessary to make it work as a road car are exactly what made it better.

The AMG One suffers many of the same added mass issues as the Valkyrie road car. It needs a lifting suspension and active aero because track spoilers aren’t allowed on the road lest they decapitate a passing cyclist. It also needs heavy plug-in batteries because you can’t start an F1 engine from cold so the batteries are used to warm it up, replacing mains heaters in a Grand Prix pit.

There is vast irony that the Aston AMR Pro is a track car ‘derived from’ a road car, itself a road car that claims to be track capable. Hmm, if you want a track car, start with a track car and don’t go round the road car houses.

So I can’t stand the nonsense that they’re ‘unconstrained’ because their engineering is claimed to overcome the ineluctable contradictions of doing two very different jobs.

Come to think of it, even if a car has just one job, there’s no way it can be unconstrained. I asked Adrian Newey about his new ‘unconstrained’ track car, the Red Bull RB17. Can it be super wide, in search of mechanical grip? No, because it has to fit in a truck. Can it have ultra sticky tyres? No, because budget limits it to an LMP1 tyre. Can it have unprecedented power? No, because said tyre can only take 1,000bhp. Ultra light? No, because it must be crash safe. Tiny frontal area? No, because drivers want to sit alongside their coach. A sucker downforce fan? No, because it mustn’t feel alien to drivers who’ve learned on other track cars. Complex set-up? No, because it mustn’t demand a huge pit crew.

Ah, so this totally ‘unconstrained’ car is already boxed into a seven-legged maze, surrounded by solid walls of constraint.

TG’s eco-conscious megabrain, Paul Horrell, is one of the world’s most respected and experienced car writers. Has attended every significant car launch since the Model T

Paul has thoughts on the Valkyrie and AMG One –and they’re exactly as he predicted five years ago

“IF YOU WANT A TRACK CAR, START WITH ONE AND DON’T GO ROUND THE ROAD CAR HOUSES”

VES

Thebigtest: deluxesoft-tops

Does the new AMG-honed Mercedes SL want to be a sports car, or a GT? TG pits it against the best of both... and ends up confused

MERCEDES-AMG SL63

4MATIC PREMIUM PLUS

£171,725 / £173,325

£241,300 / £283,640

“A CLOUD OF CONFUSION HANGS OVER THE NEW SL. IS IT NOW A SUPERCAR, OR STILL A GOLFER’S BOULEVARDIER?”

Every veteran car building company has an enduring model that defines it. A touchstone product that evolves with the times but manages to stay in touch with the founder’s ethos. No matter what niches the company expands into, these cars endure as the bedrock of the original vision.

Porsche has the 911. Bentley has the Continental. For BMW it’s a 5-Series saloon. Ferrari doesn’t carry over names, but the 812 Superfast has a lineage that stretches back through 550s and Daytonas into the days of the 250. These cars are vessels for the glory days.

Mercedes has an embarrassment of riches in this department, being the company that got a head start on the competition by inventing the car. The S-Class. The G-Wagen. And the SL. Doesn’t matter if you’re thinking about a luxury limousine, a rugged 4x4 or a sporting GT: there’s a Benz of yore among the greats.

A cloud of confusion hovers over the new, seventh-generation SL. Is it now a supercar, or still a golfer’s boulevardier? Is it a heatseeking muscle car, or a topless S-Class? That’s why we’ve flanked it with a sweet spot 911 Cabriolet (the rear-wheel-drive GTS) and probably the best Bentley ever made: the GTC Speed. In other words, the best sports car all-rounder money can buy right now, and one of the all-time great grand tourers. We have our bookends. Now to see where exactly the new SL lies in-between them.

That’s the Mercedes-AMG SL63 4MATIC, to address it by its full name. Lots of clues here that this is a car that’s been pointed in a very different direction – and towards a very different kind of customer – than the last half century of ancestors. Not least the look of it, all brooding toothy menace and hunkered down stance. It makes the 911 look unimaginative, and the Bentley tall and portly.

And yet somehow, the more you look at it, walk around it, and follow it up the road, it’s

1 1. POV: you’re a seagull who nicked chips laced with curry sauce. Which would you aim for?

2. SL’s cabin not all bad. Ornate turbine vents are a work of art

3. ‘Airscarf’ headrest heaters really bring being tailgated to life

4. Merc’s ditched a folding hard-top for a soft roof, but it’s still wonderfully intricate

British bulldog chases down a couple of German pointers

lacking something. The face could be from a CLS, or a CLA. It’s as bulbous as the Porsche at the back, but without the excuse of housing a rear-mounted engine. Prettier than the last couple of SLs? Undoubtedly, but not quite knuckle-bitingly gorgeous. Maybe it’s the Audi-cliché primer grey paintwork.

Underneath, it’s now an in-house project designed and built by AMG, like the old GT and the SLS gullwing models were. This isn’t a Benz that’s been breathed on after the fact. AMG specified the all-new, all-aluminium platform ready to underpin a fresh GT two-door flagship.

The foundations are massively stiffer and lighter than any SL before it. As you can see, the folding hard-top familiar since 2001 is gone, and a canvas roof is back. Lighter, easier to package.

The SL63 badge is back too, denoting a thunderous, cackling V8 twin-turbo developing 577bhp. So they say. Feels more like 650, maybe 700bhp from the way it rampantly chews through the short-ratio nine-speed gearbox and hurls you up the road with a ruthless efficiency alien to the wayward old AMG GT Roadster. That’ll be the last element of the unwieldy name coming into play: the 4MATIC all-wheel-drive system. It’s fabulously unobtrusive, mediating where the engine’s fury is sent without showing its working in the margins. You demand speed. You summon the noise. The traction control light doesn’t even blink. A moment of turbo lag, and POOF. You’re in the Peak District. Actually, I came up in the Bentley, which was fabulous and expensive. It sits imperiously in the outside lane, devouring

distance, massaging my back, the thickset canvas toupee cocooning me in warmth and peace. Out from behind another train of trundling lorries and ah, yes, speed camera. Lifting off doesn’t do much when you have the momentum of an express train, to match the distant W12 drone that sounds like a Deltic locomotive. Yes, I appreciate the irony of being nicked for speeding in a car literally called ‘Speed’. In my limited defence, 80mph in one of these offers as much sensation of velocity as 580mph in a Dreamliner.

The Speed is TopGear’s favourite current Bentley because it now has a raffish, naughty streak as well as the opulence and comfort you expect. The extra horsepower is meaningless, but there’s a rear differential willing to swing huge wads of torque at the rear. The result is an outrageous yet benign ability to four-wheel

“THE SL IS AS BULBOUS AS THE PORSCHE AT THE BACK, BUT WITHOUT THE EXCUSE OF HOUSING A REAR-MOUNTED ENGINE”

Sure, the Conti’s fast, but it doesn’t enjoy being driven like your hair’s on fire

“Watch out Biff, Germans at six o’clock! And they’ve got very poor rear legroom”

MERCEDES SL

1 Touch-sensitive seat controls on the doors are tricky to use 2 Carbon trim apes the look of a NACA duct. Cupholders live under shiny door 3 Touchscreen is supplemented by strip of shortcut buttons Would be easier to use if they were divided 4 Adjust the driving modes here and avoid death by touchscreen 5 One of eight different digi-dial displays available 6 Accurately swipe here to tilt the display you can’t see because of the glare

BENTLEY CONTINENTAL

1 Careful not to scuff mud into the speaker grilles Naim hi-fi is stupendous – as it should be for £6,860 2 Stone veneer dash (£5k) is just 1mm thick Will go lovely with your new worktops 3 Rotating dashboard screen is a complete gimmick, but a must-have piece of theatre

For, um, £4,915 4 Glossy buttons can be tough to identify when the roof is down, but life’s far easier in here than the AMG 5 Mmm, knurling 6 Bit vulgar? Change this stitching to a Bentley badge if you prefer

PORSCHE 911

1 Even Porsche makes the occasional common sense slip Current 911’s cupholders are ugly and poorly placed

2 GTS suede aside, this is a deathly dull spec Red leather lifts it no end 3 Gear selector modelled on a male grooming device? 4 You can’t see the outer clocks behind the wheel, but they’re mostly superfluous 5 Twisty engine start knob is a nostalgic nod to those ‘keys’ cars used to have 6 Pop-up windbreak is beautifully engineered But can all this ‘piano’ trim die?

drift 2.3 tonnes of steel, leather and stone. Yes, stone. This GTC has the optional stone veneered dashboard. As if you needed your Conti to feel even more solid, now it’s got a church facade either side of the rotating touchscreen. Gloriously silly, but also hugely endearing.

Ultimately, when you arrive at the A- and B-roads that nestle around the base of Mam Tor, the Bentley can only keep up the pretence of being a sports car for so long. Without optional ceramic brakes the left pedal goes worryingly spongy after a couple of heave-ho stops, and Bentley’s never quite got on top of this car’s Achilles heel: the eight-speed twin-clutch gearbox. It’s fine in the less torquey V8s, but with the limitless potency of the 6.0-litre engine to manage, it forgets its manners, dithering then guessing and snatching at gears. In the Conti, the most satisfying kick up the rear comes from the ‘wave’ massage function. Or was it ‘pulse’?

No, if you want a drop-top with a decent boot that can corner, you want a proper sports car. The Porsche. Obviously. How many times have words to that effect been written in head-to-heads over the decades? Which makes it all the more intriguing why AMG has gone

so decidedly sportish with the new SL. It’s firmer than the 911, yet lacks the Porsche’s impeccable body and wheel control. It’s got faster steering than the Porsche, without any of the 911’s feedback or poise. And the 911 has the audacity to do without four-wheel drive and still it’s got traction to spare. Yet when you overcome it, it’s beautifully predictable. Sure, a bang-on SL63 rival is the AWD 911 Turbo. But this isn’t about rivals, remember, it’s about bookends. The GTS is yet another 911 that does more with less. You won’t find a more crushingly complete car. It’s even an assured cabriolet, especially with the electronic wind deflector motored upright.

When you’ve got a 911 skulking around being tediously excellent across the board, some of the SL’s design decisions wilt in the heat. Take the packaging. Mercedes has very deliberately tried to morph the SL into an unapologetic sports car, then stuffed in token rear chairs just as cramped as the 911’s.

The front thrones still massage your knotty back as you rumble about, while wafting comforting warm air around the nape of your neck. So there are still hints that this car is a big woolly jumper, for people who like wearing big woolly jumpers.

“MERCEDES HAS VERY DELIBERATELY TRIED TO MORPH THE SL INTO AN UNAPOLOGETIC SPORTS CAR”

1 2 3

The least headturning car, but a brilliant all-rounder Even rather good value for

Tripped up by its lazy gearbox, but what a way to travel The only true fourseater here

A schizophrenic effort: amazing powertrain meets clumsy chassis and horrendous interior

But no one over the age of 15 has a cat in hell’s chance of operating the SL’s disastrously unhelpful interior. It’s like a greatest hits compilation of everything we detest about modern car cabins. Fiddly touch-sensitive pads on the three-spoke steering wheel? Check. All major functions entrusted to a fingerprintsmeared touchscreen? Oh yes. More ambient lighting options than helpful features? Yep.

The very fact Mercedes has motorised the touchscreen to change angle depending on sun glare should’ve hinted to headquarters they were engineering their way out of a design dead end. The screen gets worryingly hot even on a brisk winter’s day – those processors are working really quite hard to do the job a button would be better at.

Then there’s the driver’s instrument screen. Eight different displays to choose from. Above, seven varieties of head-up display. It’s bafflingly complicated and –criminally – makes the SL feel cheap inside. Instead of knurled metal switchgear, it’s red-hot pixels.

Even popping that canvas roof down is accomplished by fingering a slide to unlockstyle gimmick in the touchscreen. If your hand is momentarily deflected as you drive along,

the roof operation stalls. After two days I accidentally discovered you can double press and hold the roof button to move the roof. Does the 11.9-inch screen find space to tell you this hack? It does not.

Yes, it’s basically all carried over from an S-Class. But an S-Class is an easygoing deluxe barge. The SL63 is a missile. When you’ve got almost 600bhp and 600lb ft of torque on tap, Ferrari-quick steering in your hands and an alarmingly firm ride under your bum, it’d be nice to feel like the interior hadn’t been set up like an escape room, brimming with puzzles, calculated frustrations and devious dead ends.

It’s certainly not a GT car: there’s more road noise from the fat tyres, and the soft-top isn’t as well insulated as the GTC’s thickset canvas toupee. It’s also too firm to be a cruiser. It’s as though AMG was so proud of how stiff the new SL’s aluminium structure is, it wanted to show off how taut it could make the ride as a result.

Even in Comfort mode the SL63 is busy, and dialling it up through Sport to Sport Plus pours quick-setting concrete into the dampers. AMG’s debuting a new McLarenstyle anti-roll bar free system on this car, employing cross-linked hydraulic lines to

ensure control and support while supposedly allowing a more fluid ride, but the SL is fidgety and distracted. Fitting hyperfast wrist-flick steering with no feel or feedback only increases the sense the car’s being bullied by the road, instead of breathing with it.

So it’s too frenetic to be a loping grand tourer, too disjointed to be a Porsche 911-rivalling sports car, and too complicated to be operated by anyone. In character then, it’s ironically close to the old AMG GT.

Perhaps the SL is best thought of as a replacement for the raucous old AMG GT Roadster. Fine. Gotcha. Except, why badge it as an SL? That adds baggage and a history this car is totally at odds with.

So the 911 wins. Well yes, except it’s not quite that simple. It’s by far the best car here to drive. But it doesn’t make the best noise (Merc) or have the most commodious or opulent interior (Bentley). If you want a machine that makes every journey feel like a state visit, the Continental is magnificence on wheels.

The SL is closer to the 911 on the spectrum, but loses out to a much less expensive Porsche as a drive, and a piece of common sense. It serves to prove that reinventing an icon for a new audience really ain’t easy.

“IF YOU WANT A MACHINE THAT MAKES EVERY JOURNEY FEEL LIKE A STATE VISIT, THE CONTINENTAL IS MAGNIFICENCE ON WHEELS”

MERCEDES EQE SUV 350 4MATIC AMG LINE

Bulk buy

£90,560

FOR Interior’s nice if you like stitched leather, fancy tech

AGAINST Not remotely sporty, nothing new, so expensive

Nice that you have options if you’re in the market for a giant electric SUV. The Germans fall neatly into a row –Audi (see opposite) does electric versions of normal cars, BMW produces space age craziness and Mercedes falls in-between.

Mercedes is baffling though – its latest wheeze is building slightly different versions of its combustion cars on the EV-specific EVA platform. Like the EQE SUV, for instance. Is it an electric GLE, or a taller EQE? Who knows,

but at least there’s a little something for everyone at Mercedes.

It could make a nice electric family car, but do you really want the kids eating ice creams in the back? The £90k–£120k price bracket is rather punchy, but someone in the product department must think it’ll sell. If you’re sitting in the sparsely populated Venn diagram intersection of family buyers looking for a premium 2.5-tonne electric SUV with £100k in their back pocket, then great.

There are two UK powertrains – both AWD with e-motors front and rear. The 350’s 288bhp/564lb ft gets it 0–62mph in 6.6secs, while the 500 produces 402bhp/633lb ft for 0–62mph in 4.9secs. Both are limited to a 130mph top speed. Mercedes claims the car is sporty, but driving it will quickly disabuse you of that notion. The entry car promises a heady 334 miles of range, but climb the trim levels and range drops in inverse proportion to the size of the alloys. And you can imagine what the top spec 22in wheels do for the ride. The

standard air suspension is barely able to keep the weight in check as it is.

No hiding the EQE SUV’s size on the move – the high bonnet impedes your view, not helped by the gargantuan slab of dash. The tiny windscreen means the Hyperscreen display almost rivals it for real estate – you’ll be using all the onboard cameras and sensors to perform your manoeuvres. One bit of Hyperscreen fun is that front passengers can watch movies on the go – but the fun sponge infotainment monitors the driver’s eyes and dims the screen if they look at it for too long.

There’s nothing very new in the EQE SUV, just the lingering sense Mercedes is trying to cover all bases and missing the point in the process. The EQE SUV has executive vibes – it’s large, well trimmed and has plenty of space in the back. But if you want a fancy car to be driven around in, surely an EQE or EQS saloon is a better bet? Or the larger EQS SUV. Or even better, an actual S-Class. Like we said, baffling. Sam Burnett

AGAINST Avoid digital mirrors and coupe shape

Audi’s quest to confuse us all with its naming strategy continues at pace with this, the new Q8 e-tron. Nothing to do with the existing petrol, diesel and hybrid Q8, this is a heavy facelift of its first electric car – the e-tron SUV – introduced in 2019. Still there? Probably easier to think of it as a rival for Merc’s EQE (opposite) and BMW’s iX SUVs. Which is a good place to start, because compared to those two the Audi is a chiselled

underwear model, nicely proportioned, striking from the front with the grille now melting into the headlights and the obligatory full-width lightbar at the back. For even more style points go for the swoopy roofed Sportback version, as driven here, you might think. But no, don’t be that person. What attempts to be a coupe twist on a trad SUV shape ends up looking gawky and way too tryhard. Stick to the SUV version.

A fairly woeful 200-ish miles real world range was always the original e-tron’s Achilles’ heel, and that’s been addressed here. The entry level 335bhp ‘50’ gets an 89kWh (usable) battery for a range of 281 miles for the SUV, 290 for the more slippery Sportback. The 402bhp ‘55’, as sampled here, gets a bigger 106kWh battery for a claimed range of 336 miles. The Audi relying on more kWh rather than the Merc’s efficiencies.

Sportback prices start at £69,585 for the 50 variant, rising to £101,585 for the 55 Launch Edition. On paper the longer range 55, despite costing £10k more, is the sweet spot... and that plays out in reality, too. Real world range in wintry British conditions is more like 250 miles, and it never feels as fast as 0–62mph in 5.6secs suggests, but range and performance are now both befitting of a large, expensive, premium e-SUV.

As is the interior, which is chock full of screens and takes some learning, but feels monolithic and and properly built. A word of warning: even if you’re the most ardent tech

head, don’t be seduced by the optional virtual wing mirrors (standard on the Launch Edition). They’re a faff to adjust, the field of vision is much smaller because you can’t crane your neck to see more, and adjusting your eyes from the road to a small screen in the cabin is a pain.

Audi will tell you about torque vectoring and improved dynamics, may even try and upsell you to a triple-motor 496bhp SQ8 with a 284-mile range, but don’t be fooled. This is a 2,500+kg car that you’ll never throw around with intent, it’s a waft-express that’s comfy, isolating and quiet. An easy to live with safe bet, if your pockets are deep enough. I’d have one over the Merc or BMW. Jack

Rix

MERCEDES-BENZ

Inside job

£36,640

FOR Cabin trim, a good diesel, comfy up front, rides well

AGAINST Numb to drive, cramped back seat, can be pricey

Iwas pretty brassed off with Mercedes when it launched the current generation of A-Class in 2018. It had put too much effort into the baubles – especially the fancy screens and comms – and not enough into the fundamentals. Most versions had dull engines, clunky transmissions and primitive suspension. Well, for the facelift, Mercedes has doubled down. Most changes are minor style ones and tweaks to the screen system. The mechanical bits and dynamics go unchanged.

You don’t become one of the most successful car companies in history by listening to me.

Outside, notice new grille and lights. But only if you’re a real spotter. Inside, the full size, double screen dash becomes standard across the range, and there are operability changes too – most things can now be done only by touchscreen, voice or super fiddly areas on the steering wheel spokes. Grrr.

It’s a sign of the cost of certifying engines, and the effort being diverted into EVs, that engine choice has been cut. Other than the AMG 35 and 45, the petrol range now consists of the 1.33-litre petrol in the A180 (136bhp) and A200 (163bhp), both with a seven-speed DCT and an additional temporary 14bhp from a mild-hybrid motor. That electric assist makes the transmission feel a little more alert. There’s now just one diesel, the A200, which gets an eight-speed DCT.

Since the A-Class is a massive company car seller, the A250e plug-in hybrid will be a big part of the mix, even if it now comes only in

the four-door saloon and not the hatch. It uses the same 1.33-litre engine. An improved battery allows more range and slightly more electric power, for a total output of 218bhp. You’re supremely unlikely to hit the 50-mile notional range, but it does mean you’ll be using significant grid-supplied energy even on a long trip, helping your average mpg.

The A250 has been withdrawn. That had a multi-link rear axle. Anyway, the A-Class’s simple torsion beam rear suspension gets its comfort at the expense of steering precision. It’s rubbery and numb. The damping can’t staunch body heave if a quick road is undulating beneath you. But preventing that untidiness by easing off the accelerator is a natural reaction in this car. It’s relaxing to drive on long haul journeys, comfortable and relatively quiet.

What’s left? A very well finished interior, if a bit cramped in the back. Fancy screens, if hard to use. Massive badge appeal, if an unappealing drive. Not my thing.

Paul Horrell

PETROLHEAD PARADISE

With

Sometimes, the blindingly obvious can elude us because it’s sitting there in plain sight. For instance, your blood may run chequered black and white, but it may never have occurred to you to visit the Silverstone Museum.

Situated just over the catch fence from the cathedral of British motorsport itself, this fascinating museum is a nobrainer for true fans of racing – it’s home to everything from jaw-dropping cars, bikes and memorabilia to exhibits that put you right at the heart of the action. Here’s a more in-depth taste of what awaits you there…

LEGENDS ON WHEELS

Given the museum’s illustrious location, the level of prestigious machinery on display here is perhaps unsurprising. But when you catch sight of Nigel Mansell’s 1992 Formula 1 World Championshipwinning, ‘red 5’-emblazoned Williams FW14B, it will still get your pulse racing. F1 aficionados will also discover David Coulthard’s McLaren and Daniel Ricciardo’s Red Bull, as well as current Mercedes hot shot George Russell’s race suit and helmet.

These are just a few of the racing icons that have played a part in the 75-year history of the Silverstone circuit that you can study up close in the flesh. Others include a resplendent ERA (English Racing Automobiles) from the first ever Grand Prix held at the venue in 1948, as well as legendary biker Barry Sheene’s 1979 Suzuki.

Book in advance for just £22.50 per adult and £13.50 for kids aged 5-15 at silverstonemuseum.co.uk/tickets

IMMERSE YOURSELF

Much as a line-up of famous fast cars and bikes would make any racing enthusiast’s day, this museum offers much more than that. The sights and sounds of the Silverstone experience surround you from the moment you walk in, while the Race Day Explained section allows you to get really stuck in.

Here, you can walk up to the replica pit wall and learn all about what goes into putting on a race through first-hand accounts from the famously fearless track marshals, medical staff and even British F1 legend Sir Jackie Stewart.

You’ll also get the chance to fulfil the lifelong dream of many a fan by trying your hand at commentating on a race. And don’t worry, if you’re not the next Murray Walker straight away, the team will be on-hand to offer plenty of tips.

Finally, you can round off your tour with a thrilling immersive film showing the ultimate lap around Silverstone and bringing together some of the circuit’s most famous racing moments with commentary from Martin Brundle, David Croft and dear old Murray himself.

unforgettable immersive experiences and some of the most iconic machines in motor racing history, Silverstone Museum is a textbook day out

F1 star George Russell’s race day get-up

The ultimate grid walk

The closing film shows iconic Silverstone moments

The museum’s bike collection includes Barry Sheene’s 1979 Suzuki

MUST TRY HARDER

£63,630

THE SNAPPILY TITLED AC SCHNITZER ACS2

4.0i is essentially a perfectly pleasant BMW M240i xDrive with a few choice modifications and many styling addenda. And before you get overly excited, no it hasn’t undergone a 4.0-litre engine swap. Even if you tick the box for the near-£5k power upgrade on offer, you still get the M240i’s turbo’d 3.0-litre straight-six but with a new ECU to unlock up to 414bhp.

Oh, and all of AC Schnitzer’s alterations to the 2-Series can be purchased individually, so guess which option this particular UK test car does without?

Yep, we’re making do with the standard 369bhp. That means it’s just aero additions (including the eyebrow-like boot spoiler elements), new flow-formed 20-inch wheels, a few interior bits like metal knuckleduster-style gearshift paddles, a cat-back quad-exit exhaust that improves the rear end look and a passive suspension system that drops the ride height by 25mm.

And then there’s the issue of cost. All of the upgrades that were on our test car came to £14,500 including labour charges to fit the bits, which means that the ACS2 4.0i is a garish £63k+ sports car without any extra oomph. Considering the latest G87 M2 starts at £64,745, we know where our cash would go. Greg

Potts

Cheaply cheerful

£31,095

FOR Unpretentious, comfortable, and above all, great value

AGAINST Bland looks, dull drive, small-ish boot, avoid the hybrid

We were as surprised as anyone to discover MG’s mid-size SUV topped the UK’s sales chart back in January. It’s slipped down the pecking order since then, but we’ll let it bask in its former glory a little longer.

Surprised, because it’s no understatement to say the HS is a little, well, dull to look at. It’s hardly going to have the neighbours glancing enviously in your direction, is it?

The HS’s real trump card, however, is its value for money – because with prices starting from £23,495, it undercuts pretty much every one of its mid-size SUV segment rivals by a couple of grand at least. Which, given the current economic climate, matters.

So what do you get for your money?

You’ve the choice of a standard 1.5-litre turbo petrol, or a plug-in hybrid variant (which starts from £31,095) that pairs the same 1.5-litre turbo petrol with a 121bhp electric motor and 16.6kWh battery,

for an all-electric range of up to 32 miles. That’s your lot.

Here we were driving the hybrid, and with its vague steering, bouncy ride and unrefined powertrain, first impressions weren’t great. You sit high and start in e-mode by default, with the engine taking over as the speed picks up, but the handover between motors is far from the smoothest, and the engine constantly grumbles away in the background. There’s also a continual vibration through the steering wheel and pedals. It all feels rather... cheap.

Which makes the premium feeling interior all the more surprising, thanks to soft touch materials throughout, much chrome detailing, and – our favourite feature – turbine design air vents. There’s huge amounts of space front and rear too, though the hybrid’s boot is noticeably shallow on account of the batteries.

If you can ignore the badge snobbery and forgive the bland looks and dull drive, this is a decent enough family car. Throw in MG’s generous seven-year warranty and its new lease of life in 2023 as everyone’s finances get squeezed becomes somewhat easier to understand.

Peter Rawlins

AC SCHNITZER ACS2 4.0i

Theoverrun

Small but perfectly formed reviews. The best of the rest from this month’s drives

TOYOTA COROLLA GR SPORT

£32,990

FOR Stylish looks, improved performance and economy AGAINST Still hardly fun, coarse CVT, minimal room in the rear

Don’t get your hopes up – this isn’t the 300bhp hot hatch, rather a regular Corolla kitted out in sportier trim. And despite the GR badge, there are no dynamic enhancements to speak of. But it does get Toyota’s fifth-gen hybrid tech, with the 1.8-litre engine now producing 138bhp (up 18bhp), and the 2.0-litre 193bhp (up 15bhp). Shame it’s still dull to drive and the noisy CVT remains, which rather discourages you from making use of the extra power. PR

VOLVO V90 RECHARGE

£69,240

FOR Handsome, desirable hybrid estate, with zero range anxiety AGAINST Not cheap. In fact, at nearly £70k, rather expensive

Volvo rolled out a small but crucial update to its ‘Recharge’ plug-ins a while back: bigger battery, more powerful rear e-motor and more EV range. That’s the crucial part – the old cars could muster around 20 or so real world EV miles. We saw 40 miles from this updated Recharge – more than the average daily commute. With home charging, you could run for days on electricity alone. Expensive, but brings more peace of mind than a full EV. VP

VOLKSWAGEN GOLF GTE

£39,360

FOR Performance is fairly perky, decent cruising ability AGAINST Interior, let’s not pretend it’s sporty like a GTI, shall we?

The once imperious Golf is now a jack of some trades, master of none. Won’t go into the interior here, we might’ve mentioned our issues with VW’s infotainment before... The GTE is being pitched these days as a plug-in GTI –charge your cake and eat it, that sort of thing. You’ll realise that’s nonsense as soon as you drive it. It’s perky, and a fine PHEV if you have a home plug and 30 miles to go, but you’re better going fully electric or just getting the GTI. SB

FOR Different, practical interior touches, cheap to run AGAINST Polarising looks, busy ride, slightly tired cabin

Toyota’s Yaris hatch turned fashionable urbanite SUV is a bit of an oddball, particularly in this new GR Sport trim which we’re told delivers better steering, roll and grip feel thanks to retuned suspension. Er, what’s the point? It’s targeted at families who want a small, slightly quirky runaround – driving dynamics aren’t a priority. Focus on the neat touches such as the rubber-lined seatbacks and boot that help protect from all that family life entails, please.

TOYOTA YARIS CROSS GR SPORT

VIVE LE VIVE LE HOT HATCH!

A new Renault 5 EV is coming, but this is the one you actually want – Alpine’s homage to the R5 Turbo

Concept cars usually go one of two ways. They’re either pie in the sky flights of fancy into a fantasy world that’ll never happen. Or they’re a bona fide preview of a future design direction reverse engineered into something that’s almost entirely feasible. With a few little caveats.

The Alpine 290_B falls firmly into the latter category. This is a relief because it has a big job on its hands. Alpine, of course, is Renault’s performance arm, maker of the exemplary A110, not to mention a pretty effective Formula One team. But if you’ve been wondering what’s next on the road car front, here’s the answer. And here’s the mission statement: the 290_B trails the car that will reboot the hot hatch for the electric era.

Chief designer Raphael Linari smiles the smile of someone who knows that something truly tasty sits before us, then says that 85 per cent of the exterior design is identical to the real thing. Good news, because this is one of the most instantly appealing show cars TG has seen in years.

Then he says something we didn’t expect to hear. “Alpine’s test driver Laurent Hurgon has spent the past few weeks setting this car up. We knew from the beginning that we wanted a running prototype, a car we could drive before an F1 race perhaps. That’s why it has a roll cage and look at that handbrake... I promise you, it all works!”

McLaren F1, GMA T.50… Alpine 290_B. When it comes to seats, three is the magic number

Wheels were originally square, until Alpine realised that was a concept car fantasy too far

Turbofan airvents are a big tick from us. Blue-flecked carbon a tribute to Eighties curtains

TG has previous with Laurent Hurgon. He took us around the track at Renault’s gigantic Aubevoye test facility in an A110 prototype six months before launch back in 2018, and made that thing dance at speeds you wouldn’t think possible. He’s a wizard.

Clearly, the 290_B is related to the electric Renault 5 that’ll be along some time in 2024. That’s the car that basically melted the internet when Renault CEO Luca de Meo announced it at the tail end of his giant turnaround plan press conference as the world limped out of lockdown. De Meo ushered the Fiat 500 into life in a former job and experienced the same Proustian rush when Renault’s design vice president Laurens van den Acker showed him the R5 proposal. Just do it, he said. When something’s right it’s right.

The same goes for the Alpine version. Often described as the French equivalent of Lotus, much of Alpine’s history is lost in the mists of time, but as well as the original A110 we’d urge you to check out the Seventies A310 and Eighties A610. Both still look fabulous. Meanwhile, motorsport nerds will need no introduction to 1968’s beautiful A220 and 1978’s Le Mans 24-Hour Race winning A442. An R5 Alpine also predates the Eighties hot hatch R5 GT Turbo (though it was badged as Gordini in the UK due to naming rights). Depending on the severity of your Francophilia, this is all sub-zero cool stuff.

And it’s all here in the 290_B. It’s a short, stocky looking thing, wide of track and rammed with enough historic touch points to keep Alpine adherents happy without tipping too far into retro pastiche. Even if you’ve never heard of Alpine all you need are the eyes in your head to recognise a superior piece of work. It maxes out on the R5 concept’s swollen arches, adds the obligatory chunky front spoiler and rear diffuser, and has a sizeable rear wing. Definite shades of the Eighties R5 Turbo, and that’s obviously no bad thing.

But there’s significant brand differentiation, too. The nose is smoother and echoes the frontal treatment on the current A110, a car that’s a textbook example of how to homage the past without resorting to cliché. The quad light set-up is an Alpine signature, although the 290_B’s square lamps and X marks the spot/double cross rally car lighting graphic are elements that won’t make the jump to reality. Nor, sadly, will the mountings for the auxiliary lights (known internally at Alpine as ‘Monte Carlo’ lamps). They’re aluminium spars that look and feel fabulous but would send the pedestrian protection legislators into a frenzy. The wheelarch surrounds, front spoiler and those dramatic sills are made of forged carbon fibre, enlivened with blue infusions throughout. In fact, the whole body is carbon fibre, and it’s finished in a frozen snow white

“IT’S RAMMED WITH ENOUGH HISTORIC TOUCHPOINTS TO KEEP ALPINE ADHERENTS HAPPY”

Strike a pose. As silhouettes go, this is pretty much perfect

matte paint that glitters under direct light. The colour and effect take inspiration from the mountains that inspired Alpine founder Jean Rédélé, Linari explains, while the darker element that carves its way across the bonnet and up and over the roof reflects the jagged topography of the Alps. The carbon extrusions even have a mineral quality to them. The Alpine name badge uses dichroic lettering, so it changes colour according to the light. It’s an EV but that hasn’t stopped them from including a pair of exhaust exits. These are more like the vents you find on a games console to ventilate the hardware. The wheels are 20in jobs with floating squares cut into them.

“We want people to recognise an Alpine from 290m away, then 290cm, and finally 290mm, and the closer you get there will be a powerful element of surprise,” Linari continues. On the show car, that runs to a variety of Easter eggs. The indicator repeaters cut across the lower part of the front bumper; look closely and you’ll see the name Esteban Ocon on one side, Pierre Gasly on the other. At the rear, there’s a little graphic imprint of Greta Thunberg hidden beneath an access flap. Hopefully she’ll approve of this car. The GPS coordinates of the Alpine design studio are etched by the rear lights.

“THE 290_B’S MAJOR PARTY TRICK IS ONE IT’S NICKED FROM THE McLAREN F1”

And peer through the left rear side window and you’ll spot a nodding dog. His head’ll go into frenzy if Hurgon’s on a hot lap.

There are air intakes secreted all over the body, too, some functional but mostly as references to Alpine’s potent motorsport connections. The slats ahead of the rear arches are arguably somewhat superfluous, and the visible shutline confirms that the real thing will be a five-door with room in the rear for the conventional number of passengers.

If that sounds weird that’s because the 290_B’s major party trick is one it’s nicked from the McLaren F1. Yep, the driver sits in the middle with two seats set slightly back flanking them. Indeed, as eye-popping as the exterior is, it’s inside where Linari and his team have really stretched out.

“It’s too early to announce what’s happening inside the car so we went crazy on the interior,” Linari says. “Driving sensation is at the centre of our product philosophy so we thought, ‘What if we put the driver in the middle of the car?’ This in turn led to many styling solutions and ideas. Because this has never been done on such a compact format.”

DRIFTED: THE FIRST e-SUPER HATCH?

I can’t tell you anything about what the Hyundai Ioniq 5 N is like to drive. Sorry. I have ‘driven’ the circa £70k, 600bhp electric reinvention of the hot hatch, but it was mainly sideways on a frozen lake in northern Sweden... Hyundai is making a huge effort to inject genuine old school fun into this two-tonne crossover: there’s an idiot proof drift mode, a torque-kick function to punt the tail

sideways when you pull both paddleshifters, and there’ll be a variety of futuristic sounds available to play out of the underbody speaker, simulating engine noise. But with so much EV chat still focusing on range, charging times and cold weather anxiety, will the N Division really convince a groundswell of future hot hatch lovers to prioritise getting slippy over getting home? OK

Rather than a conventional dashboard, the 290_B has an exposed inner structure that spans the full width of the cabin, suggestive of the nose and front wing of an F1 car. You can mount a GoPro on the spars of the wing. Linari says that he wanted to expose the area around the bulkhead so that the driver’s feet and legs would be visible but structural issues prevented them from doing so. The steering wheel is also F1-inspired, with the displays and information readouts concentrated onto it, bar a series of controls set into a panel above, plane cockpit style. It detaches via a quick release mechanism just like its racing sibling. (There’s an alternative, more ‘lifestyle’ wheel but we didn’t see that one during our preview). The driver’s seat is trimmed in a sustainable, quasi high-vis material, while the two on either side are ultra-lightweight carbon-fibre race items. Much effort has been expended on interior illumination. Magenta light is used on the vertical axis, and runs like a spine through the centre of the car culminating in a fin effect on the rear. That creates a truly dazzling optical effect from the outside, as well as placing the driver firmly at the centre of the action. Blue light is used for the horizontal axis, running the length of the interior, embracing the

passengers, and connecting with an aperture under the exterior mirrors. It’s pure showbiz, and none of it stands an (Alpine) snowball’s chance in hell of making it. But it’s very imaginative and beautifully executed.

It also has the fat sills of a racecar, which brings us back to the 290_B’s competition alter ego. Linari says the rear spoiler and other aero addenda are functional because they’ve done computational fluid dynamic analysis on it. Again, this is unusually thorough for a concept car.

It all bodes well for the real thing. That’ll be underpinned by Renault’s CMF-EV (‘common module family’) architecture, as applied across the group and codeveloped with Nissan. It’ll probably be powered by the 215bhp e-motor used in the Megane E-Tech, fed by a 60kWh battery. The details are all still under wraps for now but Renault’s engineering boss Gilles Le Borgne is on the record as saying it’ll have torque vectoring and the sort of handling you’d expect from an Alpine.

Frankly, they had us at hello.

“IT’S UNUSUALLY THOROUGH FOR A CONCEPT CAR”

Hang on... isn’t that the screen from an original Nintendo Game Boy?

TG’S ROUGH GUIDE TO

GLOSSARY RETRO /RET-ROH/

Literally “imitative of a style or fashion from the recent past”, but the word has come to mean anything that looks ‘old’. Which really makes it a moving definition depending on how old you are

GLOSSARY CLASSIC /KLAS-IK/

The government says a classic car is one built or first registered more than 40 years ago that hasn’t had “substantial change”. This means a 1983 Peugeot 205 or VW Golf MkII is now officially a ‘classic car’ and not just retro. Sigh

GENERATION GAME

WORDS TOM FORD

THE OVERVIEW

The Sixties saw the heyday of the American Big Three (Ford, Chrysler and GM) and demand for slightly smaller cars in the US. The Ford Mustang was born in 1964 and muscle cars became a thing The Sixties saw some of the UK’s all-time greats – the Mini blossomed, the Jaguar E-type emerged and the Aston Martin DB5 entered the popular consciousness. Volvo made the 144, Renault made the 4, Toyota the 2000GT, Lamborghini the Miura and Ferrari the Dino And Porsche came up with a little known car called the 911 in ’64

THE APPEAL

A time of innovation and expansion. Cars were exciting, boundary pushing, romantic and not styled by safety legislation

THE CRINGE

Lack of safety regs means that Sixties cars have a tendency to be less than brilliant in a crash As in, you end up wearing them

GO FOR

Can’t afford an E-type or DB5? How about an original Mini – still a class act in terms of packaging, and super cool. From £2,000–£50,000+ depending how sorted you want

HONOURABLE MENTION

AVOID

In the US, only go for a Corvair if you never drive very fast – the swingarm rear suspension isn’t the best. The Morris 1100 was the most popular car of the Sixties in the UK But no

The 1962 Lotus Elan. Absolute tiny joy in car form – light, small, top drawer handling.

Get to know your decades with our handy guide, from the Sixties to the Noughties

THE OVERVIEW

Everybody remembers the Seventies for flares, weird collars and too much nylon, but it was a time of massive change following the postwar economic boom – especially around the oil crisis in ’73 US cars started to downsize (not entirely successfully) but Europe produced some legends The Range Rover and Citroen SM in the early Seventies, the Lamborghini Countach in ’74 and the Lotus Esprit in ’76, to name a few It’s also the decade that saw the Merc S-Class and Porsche 928 Every single one has appeal now – for good reason

THE OVERVIEW

The final decade of the Cold War, fall of the Berlin Wall, and the go-to of capitalism, shoulder pads and brick phones – the Eighties had it all. In car terms, we saw the rise of electronics and complication Ford dominated the UK with the Escort, Fiesta and Cortina, but the emergence of the VW Golf GTI, Peugeot 205 GTI, Vauxhall Astra GTE and R5 GT Turbo et al heralded the hot hatch era The Porsche 959 (’86) and Ferrari F40 (’87) both appeared along with the first BMW M3 (’86) We also got the Austin Metro, it wasn’t all gravy

THE APPEAL

From 7 0-litre Dodge Challengers (pre-’73), to the Opel Manta – things just looked better thanks to the era’s outlandishness

THE CRINGE

Not a time for build quality or reliability. Like nylon bell-bottoms, these cars may not be comfortable for extended periods

THE APPEAL

Everything from the original Renault Espace in 1984 to the Lancia 037 (’82) happened in the Eighties Innovation

THE CRINGE

GO FOR

The 1975 Jaguar XJS is starting to look exceptional. Bonus points for a Lynx Eventer shooting brake – £6,000–£35,000 (V12’s the coolest, but complicated )

HONOURABLE MENTION

The E21 BMW 3-Series. The start of good things from BMW’s compact saloon.

AVOID

The Ford Pinto was one of the worst cars globally Dodgy fuel tank had a habit of exploding if rear-ended Not inherently bad if you can overlook the potential for a fiery backside

GO FOR

A nice Volvo 240 for that satisfying brick-ish Eighties feel. Torslanda limited edition if you can manage it. Around £3,000–12,000 for a car that’s reliable, spacious and very Eighties

HONOURABLE MENTION

Graphics

The Eighties saw vinyl everywhere – not always for the best And Eighties haircuts And digital dashes

AVOID

Austin Maestro, because they are simply awful in all ways. The definitive example of the worst of the British car industry at the worst point in its long history

The Fiat Panda (1980), or the Toyota Corolla AE86 (’83) – both are super cool in their own way.

THE OVERVIEW

The Nineties started with the Gulf War and progressed through the rise of alternative media, aided by the World Wide Web. We got Buffy, Britpop and grunge – 1996’s Only Fools and Horses Xmas special was most watched on TV Not the best time for UK cars – everything got a bit blobby Ford’s Escort and Sierra still held sway, but weren’t great. Big selling Vauxhall Vectra and Corsa weren’t either It wasn’t all bad – we got the McLaren F1 in ’92, R34 Skyline GT-R (’99), Lamborghini Diablo (’90) and Ford Escort Cosworth (’92)

THE OVERVIEW

Hello to the absolute rise of the the internet and Amazon, 9/11 and a global financial crisis But hello also to some absolute corkers for the car world. Piëch’s Bugatti Veyron in the middle of the decade, the Ferrari Enzo (’02), the Porsche Carrera GT (’04), the R35 Nissan GT-R (’09), right down to more humble offerings like the, uh, Chrysler PT Cruiser in 2001 In many ways, this became the age of the modified car in the UK – with lots of lovingly applied plastic appearing on cars back when an 18in wheel was considered huge

THE APPEAL

Early Nineties cars are 30 years old now, so feel notably different to new stuff – more analogue and satisfying

THE CRINGE

Nineties nostalgia is largely rose tinted. Most mass-produced cars weren’t very good – and shell suits were godawful

THE APPEAL

Not so old that parts are unavailable, plenty of real choice if you want a reliable Noughties car There are some good ones out there

THE CRINGE

Trying to remember that warehouse party in 2004 And failing Thank goodness phone cameras weren’t popular

GO FOR

A nice early Mazda MX-5 OK, so the NA came out in 1989, but the car hit the big time in the Nineties Expect prices to run £4,000–£14,000, from project to concours condition

HONOURABLE MENTION

AVOID

Any Ford Cosworth –prices have gone absolutely insane by this point. Nostalgia is an expensive game – £596,000 for a Sierra? £65k+ for an Escort? Aaargh

GO FOR

The EP9 Honda Civic Type R is cheap, tunable, manual, brilliant, VTEC yo Expect to pay around £3k–12k, but watch for suspect ‘modifications’ held on with sticky tape

HONOURABLE MENTION

AVOID

The Chrysler PT Cruiser Convertible Looks a bit like a pram, handles a bit like a pram Prices are fetching £4k–5k for the 2.4 version but we just can’t fathom why Irony?

The Lotus Carlton (1990). Mentioned in parliament for being a bit quick. ou ju hh

The 2001 Phase 1 Renault Clio V6. We spun one in its own length on a roundabout just outside St Albans Shhhhh

ARTY INTELLIGENCE

GLOSSARY

PATINA /PAT’I-NA/

A weathered surface or sheen that gives the appearance of long use. Not to be confused with ‘rust’

1959 MINI COUNTRYMAN

Subtle one, this. BMC’s original ’59 Mini had an estate version, the Clubman, but it was a stretched two-door. The Countryman, technically a sub-compact crossover, didn’t appear until 2010. So what would an Alec Issigonis-designed Countryman have looked like back in the early Sixties? Well, wonder no more – weird doors aside, you can see how good it might have looked.

1974 RANGE ROVER SPORT

Another one that looks real. The Range Rover Sport appeared in 2005 as a mid-sized luxury SUV. The first Range Rover appeared in 1969, and was two-door only until ’81, so an imagineered ’74 RRS has ended up looking largely like a smaller Range Rover Classic with fat wheels and no rear doorhandles.

2023 FORD MODEL T

If someone distilled the Model T of 1908, boiled it down to the stylistic components and then rehydrated them for this year, this is what the result might look like. Although this seems to be a modern interpretation of a mid-Twenties pickup version of the Model T – sometimes called the Runabout – and the world’s first pickup truck.

Here’s where AI has to work hard – the Sixties were a time of innovation and Big News from the USA, with some exceptional designs. And yet Tesla as a corporate entity didn’t even exist until 2003, and the Model 3 wasn’t born until 2017. The AI decided that the Model 3 of the latter Sixties was still a compact executive car, but actually a two-door worthy of a poster. If only.

The Cayenne caused controversy when it was launched in 2002 – an SUV from a maker of sports cars? The horror! And yet it largely bolstered the company’s future against the slings and arrows of outrageous market forces. But the early Eighties saw an imaginary Cayenne that borrowed heavily from the 911’s stylings, yet weirdly ended up with shades of a Seventies Honda Civic. Or is that just us?

Get a petrolhead to steer a computer and exceptional – if weird – things happen. The following images were all generated by AI...

1967 TESLA MODEL 3

1981 PORSCHE CAYENNE

An increase in retro themed cars on the road is an inevitability – just because of the pure maths of there being an ever expanding back catalogue to draw on There are plenty of recent case studies in how to do a retro pastiche well – mostly cars with New in their name The Mini, the Fiat 500 and now the Renault 5 Recreating a nostalgic classic is one thing, but does the goodwill towards that car stretch to a family of similar models? The Mini brand had the patience to bide its time before introducing the money making lardy SUVs that everyone secretly wanted, while the Fiat 500 name was sploshed onto anything that could take the distended face of the Fifties

VINTAGE /VIN-TIDJ/

A ‘vintage’ car is specifically one manufactured between 1919 and 1930, with ‘post-vintage’ being from 1931–1945. Teens are therefore not allowed to call a car vintage because it has a choke or manual gearbox

GET THE LOOK

What to wear when driving your retro wheels

The driving gloves

A leather or suede palm ensures a firm wheel grip, but you can get fun finishes to the back. Pick a jaunty colour for waving at fellow enthusiasts

original Hence the horrors of the 500X and 500L

There are tales of caution – look at Jaguar, in the middle of an identity crisis for the past three decades because it stayed too retro for too long with the late-Nineties XJ and S-Type. Or Chrysler, which tried to hark back to a Fifties golden era with its PT Cruiser, Crossfire and 300 models As far as Europe was concerned that take on the Fifties happened in the background of dull black and white movies Chrysler no longer sells in Europe

With everything shifting from internal combustion to fancy newfangled electric power there’s more of a temptation than ever to

RETRO IS HARD

The overalls

Out for a Sunday drive? Let everyone know that you actually do all your own repairs by wearing lightly oil smeared blue overalls

offer comfort to bewildered drivers by slapping a familiar face on future mobility The Renault 5 Electric will sell bucketloads more than the futuristic Zoe ever did Thing is, Retro works when nostalgia is focused on an Eighties era we can all get behind. But what happens when the taste-setting generation’s parents drove a Nissan Qashqai?

Old design cues plus a modern chassis = success, right? Nope, retro goes badly wrong, too

RESTORATION /REST-OH-RAY-SHUN/

A car revived using only original parts, to OEM specification. Can vary from ‘getting it running’ to ‘concours’ where the screws are all aligned at quarter to three by a man with a wonderful beard

The bag

A lightly scuffed vintage duffle with Seventies/Eighties motorsport sponsor logos on it is the perfect accessory to pop down on your empty passenger seat

The jacket

It’s important to match your jacket to your car, whether it’s a waxed effort, flight jacket with faux fur or a replica motorsports number

The shoes

Another car dependent part of the fit – do you go for a nice suede loafer or more of a racing boot? What’s crucial is a soft sole for max pedal feel

GLOSSARY

GLOSSARY

MOTO-RETRO

STRIPE IT LUCKY

Top five retro racing stripes

Buying yourself an entry-level three-door Mini Cooper? It will cost you £150 to add a couple of stripes on the bonnet. Sadly they won’t make it any faster...

HONDA MONKEY

Back in the Seventies, Honda’s Monkey was the diddy motorbike. It incited palpitations of want in pretty much every flare-wearer worth their hippy bath salts. Now it’s back! This time as a £4,049 reskinned MSX125 (or Grom, as it’s more affectionately known) and tartaned up for 2023. Being the size of a large house cat and having 9bhp, it’s easy to dismiss the new Monkey bike as a toy. But it’s not. It’s a proper bike.

ROYAL ENFIELD INTERCEPTOR 650

Enfield’s Interceptor 650 is a naked cruiser that harks back to doobielicious Sixties California. It’s one of the best modern retros you can buy. Why? Because it’s good looking and easy to ride, making it a perfect entry point. Plus, it offers serious bang for your buck, starting at £5,700.

DUCATI DESERT X

The adventure bike market has exploded, and Ducati has finally given us a bespoke off-road option: the deeply cool Desert X. Channelling vibes from the Paris-Dakar’s golden era and the Lucky Strike Cagiva Elefant, this £14,095, 937cc beast has twin fuel tanks and massive ground clearance to get you across the Sahara. Or to Sainsbury’s.

TRIUMPH SCRAMBLER

The £12,695 Scrambler 1200 does a bit of everything: it’s fast, powerful, good looking (in that chic retro modern way), extremely comfortable on-road, but equally capable off it. More importantly, it’s James Bond’s motorbike of choice – worth a million pub points in itself, and ideal if your commute requires you to razz around rooftops.

Want a motorbike with an engine bigger than most city cars? No problem. BMW’s £18,995 R18 cruiser takes classic big bike design and adds a whopping 1802cc twin-cylinder boxer engine – the largest it has ever built. Two huge cylinders and pistons bouncing between your legs is quite the experience. Do big bikes get any cooler?

Proton said that its 2007 attempt at a hot hatch was fettled by Lotus, but never has a car so thoroughly disgraced its go-faster stripes

The stripes should have come with a trigger warning – there wasn’t the power or verve that those evocative thin white lines on a dark blue paintjob promised...

Second generation Viper introduced its now iconic stripe in 1996. It was actually a diagram of the best type of corner to drive it through

But come on Dodge, that doesn’t mean you’re allowed to just put racing stripes on any old tat you pump out – with great power, etc...

Bikes have been ploughing the retro furrow for a while. Here’s our current top five

WORDS ROWAN HORNCASTLE

Mini Hatch

Proton Satria Neo Sport

Renault Twingo Gordini

Dodge Viper

Dodge Durango SRT

BMW R18

WHAT JENSON DID NEXT

What do F1 world champions do when they retire?

They resurrect a classic British coachbuilder and develop their ultimate road car, obviously

WORDS OLLIE MARRIAGE PHOTOGRAPHY JAMES LIPMAN

The plan was to drive to Prescott National Forest, because the high roads of Yavapai County in northern Arizona looked wonderful. It was about 110 miles from our Scottsdale Airbnb. But that evening, after an, er, eventful day on track, I realised something I didn’t fancy driving the Radford that far

You see this is not one of those supercars that has bandwidth It’s raw and single minded, and although this is a development car and yet to have a final dynamic polish, that’s not going to turn it into a limber, languorous tourer. And there’s a reason for that. This is Jenson’s car.

We’re in no surname required territory here, aren’t we? But also on familiar terrain for top flight racing drivers. In a few pages’ time you’ll see Dario Franchitti in the GMA T.50. There must be something written in a contract that says Porsche can’t launch a car without a personal appearance from Walter Röhrl and Honda NSX is basically word association for Ayrton Senna.

So what’s made the 2009 Formula One world champion get involved with a tiny start-up? “The whole thing for me was after a career of developing cars and the high stress of F1. I wanted to do something I was passionate about, developing something that’s truly mechanical and people will jump in and go ‘Wow, that’s cool, that’s fun’.”

Jenson tells me this across the cockpit of the Type 62-2 as he pounds it around the Radford Racing School track. He doesn’t have to raise his voice too much because although it’s noisy in

here with a supercharged V6 wailing away, it’s also small. We’re rubbing shoulders. Full harnesses ensure it doesn’t get even more personal than that. The famed smoothness is on full display, so I’m trying to pick up tips – there’s definitely something in the way he eases off the brakes and turns in, managing to carry startling momentum without ever really venturing into understeer or oversteer. No snatch and grab here, just effortless speed and confidence. Git.

Because as I’ll find out shortly afterwards, the car is definitely not making him look good. It makes me look a fool. Never more than when a tie rod bolt shears mid-corner and sees me reversing up the main straight at 75mph with smoke pouring off four locked wheels. I laugh it off, but it’s a nerve shredder when a car bites like that. All part of the development process, I guess. I just hadn’t counted on being part of it myself. Within 24 hours Radford has a new design for the tie rod bolts and a new supplier.

I’m going to assume that you’re not too familiar with the Radford story. Fair enough, there’s not much of a tale to tell. Radford was a coachbuilding firm back in the Sixties, made a name for itself modifying Bentleys and building luxury Minis for celebrities. It eventually sputtered into oblivion and for the purposes of this story is basically just a nice name with some faint historical connections that enables this new brand to strum some old riffs.

The car’s background is more intriguing. At this point we need to introduce another celebrity name: TV presenter Ant Anstead. He was looking for a new project car to do a TV show around, came up with the idea of rethinking the Lotus Europa and then realised there might well be a market for it and he could build more than one. The plan now is to build 62. Which means turning his idea into a fully fledged

The pre-drive briefing was a surprisingly relaxed affair

The track at the Radford Racing School on the outskirts of Phoenix, Arizona is tight and twisty, much better suited to the light, nimble Type 62-2 than to the Dodge SRTs that also call it home. Jenson Button is clearly very engaged in his new project, but drew the line at sitting next to Ollie. Understandable. The gold reflection in the back of the engine bay is genuine –Radford uses gold leaf as a heat reflector. It also, more nickably, features real gold lettering (made in Birmingham’s jewellery quarter) across the back of the car

company with production processes and all the rest. Not simple or quick.

The starting point is a Lotus Exige, but as Jenson points out “there’s an aluminium monocoque chassis and we’ll leave it there. Everything else, from the rear subframe, the uprights, the body itself – which is completely carbon fibre – it’s all new”. It’s longer overall to improve high speed stability (it has no meaningful downforce) and wider as that helps to sharpen turn-in. The engine block is carried over, but everything else is changed. An Austrian firm called Jubu Performance has gone over the V6 from top to bottom. It’s dry sumped, sits more upright yet lower in the chassis than it ever has in a Lotus and develops up to 605bhp. The car weighs a little over a tonne. So yeah, ballpark power and weight with the GMA T.50.

Yet no safety aids. None. Not a hint of stability control, not a jot of ABS braking. In a car with the power to weight ratio that betters a McLaren 720S and claims 0–62mph in 2.9secs, that appears foolhardy at best. Two reasons for this lack of hand holding – the reason Radford gives and the real reason. Radford claims it wants a raw and rewarding experience and doesn’t want anything that could interfere and dilute the experience. Fair enough, probably some truth in that. However, the other truth is that developing the control electronics for those systems is very expensive. You’re going to be shelling out millions and there’s just no way you can do that when you’re only building 62 cars.

So I’m tentative when I first head out. The Type 62-2 is immediately connected, the chassis and steering tingling,

fidgeting, trembling with information, desperate to tell you everything that’s going on. Compared with a Lotus this is more mechanical, less fluent – I could drive it with my fingertips, but something tells me to keep a firmer grip on the wheel. Just as well, there’s some steering kickback and the weight makes it quite physical to drive. The carbon brakes are sharp, arguably too sudden and powerful for a lightweight car, so I keep thinking that an ounce too much pressure is going to lock them up. As it is they squeal noisily when they get hot. Meanwhile the engine is in your ear; a growling, dominant, initially intimidating presence.

But also, currently, the best thing about the car. Mated to a six-speed manual gearbox (a twin clutch will be optional, but you might as well go all in on the interaction), the 3.5-litre is well mannered low down, instant in its responses and epic at the top end. Above 5,000rpm it’s a furious buzzsaw of noise and drama, a raw and intoxicating reminder of just how much responsibility you have for your own destiny.

It nags, the absence of traction control, but it’s period correct. And at least you’ve got the signals to know what’s going on (even if they are a bit fuddled and fighty at the moment). It feels true to the original 1966 Europa, although the 62-2 references an altogether rarer machine. Back in the early Sixties Ford approached a few companies for their ideas on building a Le Mans racer – the car that would go on to be the mighty GT40. The gig went to Lola, which left Lotus’s offering, the Type 62, mouldering in a corner. Only two were ever built.

Developing your dream road car and racing at Le Mans... it’s been a great year for Jenson

This is fast enough to have been a Le Mans warrior. The speed and grip dials are turned right up, the heart in mouth freneticism of it, the gnashing volume and drama, the sense of personal exposure, vulnerability and responsibility. It puts everything out there and asks you if you’re up to it. It’s a reminder of how much we’ve learned not only to trust, but rely on stability systems. My advice, do not keep your foot in for a dare. Realise you do not and never will have the upper hand, that this car will not make you feel like a driving god, that it is designed to reward through diligent communication, not flatter via electronic support, and – finally – that you will never be as good as the chap who developed it.

The inadvertent reversing happens at the end of the day and at least in part explains why I don’t fancy driving over 100 miles the next morning. But when I do stumble outside I’m struck once again by the way it looks. The design, the work of Mark Stubbs, is a very successful retro-futurist interpretation of the Europa. Retro in its muscle and haunch, futurist in the camera pods for mirrors and LED lights. I’m not a fan of the four-spoke wheels, nor the riveted in, sliding windows (they’ll prove to be a hassle during the day), but I’ll forgive anything for those twin ducktails. They’re optional, but you need them.

The cabin is bare, driver-centric. Your phone magnetises to a panel and Bluetooths to give you nav and tunes. A plain, functional digital display lurks behind the wheel and there are screens for those external cameras. Bremont pitlane stopwatches and toggle switches lift the tone, and along with the materials and stitching give the Radford a thin veneer of

Easiest way to earn the TopGear seal of approval?

Swoopy bits on the back

RADFORD

TYPE 62-2

Price: £500,000 (approx)

Powertrain: 3.5-litre

supercharged V6, 605bhp, n/a lb ft

Transmission: 6spd manual, RWD

Performance: 0–62mph

in 2.9secs, 186mph, Weight: c.1,050kg

“IT’S RETRO IN ITS MUSCLE AND HAUNCH, FUTURIST IN THE CAMERA PODS FOR MIRRORS”

craftsmanship. But it doesn’t need more than that. It shouldn’t (and doesn’t) feel luxurious. It’s more important that when you get in (not the slinkiest procedure) the driving position and operation of the controls make you sigh with satisfaction.

A car with this much power should have a heavier clutch, a lumbering gearshift. It’s not dainty, you need to be positive with it, but you can heel and toe, the linkage is crisp and accurate. Visibility is a challenge (cameras are not yet the answer), the seats are thinly padded and bolstered, there’s noise penetration and general hubbub and rowdiness. I’ll make an exception for Jenson, but it’s not a car to share on a roadtrip. It’s small enough inside that you’ll worry about each other’s breath.

I reach cactus land. Where it’s snowing. Weird. I’m not the only one who thinks so. A local news crew is out chasing the flurries. I don’t want to make the evening news bulletin, so resolve to tread extra carefully and avoid the supercharger’s post-5,000rpm sweet spot. Things fast forward rapidly enough at 3k–4k on the road, so I’m happy to settle for a throaty rasp and forgo the full blooded howl. There’s plenty to enjoy in the zingy throttle response, the eager way it leaps forward, the lack of mass, the agility and tactility of it all.

But it’s also wearing. A car for short sprints and adrenaline hits, a car to keep you on your toes. There’s not much else like it, and that’s what matters most. It’ll be sold to collectors and this will do a job none of their other cars do. It’s compact and retro, but you won’t need to fiddle with the carburettors and hopefully the suspension won’t break mid-corner. It delivers

modern supercar speed but without the electronic cloaking devices that do so much to mask speed, and the weight that dilutes texture and feedback. The car it reminds me most of is the 2005 Ford GT – the retro one, with the supercharged V8. Nothing wrong with that.

Sign up for one of the 62 cars and you have three power outputs to choose from: 430bhp, 500bhp and 605bhp... 430 is plenty, less likely to get you in a spot of bother. Just spec it well. Prices are likely to start at around £350,000, but if you want to get properly carried away Radford is offering special editions. Both Gold Leaf (500bhp) and JPS (605bhp) versions wearing those classic liveries are available, each limited to just 12 cars. Buy a top level one and you’ll get a day’s training with Jenson himself at the Radford Racing School.

Lotus DNA is still detectable, you get the sense it could be Hethel’s own work. It’s got bigger Evija-shaped fish to fry at the moment, but I suspect there’s a tacit support and admiration for what Radford is trying to achieve here. It reflects well and gives Lotus’ backstory a polish. The Type 62-2 hints at an endurance racing history that wasn’t even there: “Le Mans, the Seventies and Eighties those were the years, beautiful cars that just made you smile,” Jenson grins. “But underneath this still needs to be a driver’s car and in a world where cars have got big and heavy we come at it from a very different point of view.” The Radford Type 62-2, then, is the car we all say we want: an F1 world champion’s vision of his ultimate road car. Be careful what you wish for.

All of America’s corners seem to have ended up on one stretch of road...

“BUY A TOP LEVEL ONE AND YOU’LL GET A DAY’S TRAINING WITH JENSON HIMSELF”

BUY T P VEL ON ND OU ET D Y’S TR NING TH N ON IMSELF”

The fastest car in the world is about to retire. Weirdly, TopGear’s having one last hurrah at a place where a Bugatti Chiron doesn’t seem so powerful after all

(1) Atlantis, the fourth orbiter built, looks to the heavens before STS-79 in August 1996 (2) One of the two Shuttle Carrier Aircraft hoists Columbia over the Johnson Space Center, Texas (3) Columbia lifts off on its 16th mission. At launch the External Tank contained 680 tonnes of liquid hydrogen and oxygen fuel (4) 15 hours after touchdown of the final flight, Atlantis is dragged off the SLF runway in July 2011 (5) STS-5 was the first operational Shuttle mission. Columbia rides the column of fire carrying two satellites in late 1982 (6) Memorial to the seven Columbia crew members lost during re-entry disaster in 2003. Shuttles were grounded for over two years (7) Endeavour eases back down to Earth with a nighttime landing in Florida

hen exactly do astronauts receive their ‘badass soundbite’ training?

Universally, they’ve a knack for memorable space-quips. Apollo 14 veteran Edgar Mitchell gave us “From out there on the moon, international politics look so petty. You want to grab a politician by the scruff of the neck, drag him a quarter of a million miles out and say ‘look at that, you son of a b***h’.”

John Glenn, the first American to orbit the Earth, described the tension during countdown as “knowing you were sitting on top of two million parts — all built by the lowest bidder on a government contract”. My personal favourite analysis of a space shuttle launch comes from real life TOPGUN graduate Hoot Gibson, who flew five of its 135 missions. “You just hear a massive explosion and pray you’re going up.”

Close your eyes for a second and remember the shuttle. You’re imagining the launch, aren’t you? An undeniably spectacular sequence of mechanical, chemical and sonic events as 2,000,000kg of hardware, humans and fuel roared off the pad, doing 0–60mph slower than a Honda Civic Type R but breaching the sound barrier less than a minute later, on the way to 17,500mph. Five miles a second

Bringing the orbiter (that’s the black and white winged bit where the astronauts and cargo sit – only when the orange external tank and twin solid rocket boosters (SRBs) were attached was the whole assembly strictly a ‘space shuttle’) back to Earth was just as treacherous as firing it skywards. As I’m sure you know, the whole point of the shuttle was reusability. Unlike the Mercury and Apollo rockets designed to jettison spent stages into the ocean, the orbiter was Earth’s removals lorry, lugging experiments and equipment into orbit then ‘gliding’ home. The SRBs parachuted into the ocean after launch. Only the relatively cheap liquid hydrogen and oxygen fuel tank was allowed to burn up in the atmosphere.

But that’s exactly what would happen to the returning orbiter, were it not for 24,300 silica tiles so effective at absorbing heat you could lob one in the oven with your Sunday roast and then pluck it out without singeing your fingers. These lightweight blocks protected the shuttle from extreme cold of -379°C in orbit and shielded its aluminium airframe from the 1,260°C fury of atmospheric re-entry. Meanwhile, reinforced carbon panels on the nose cone and leading edges of each wing bore the brunt at the higher friction areas where temperatures soared to over 1,650°C, despite their edges being just 6–12mm thick.

After 12 minutes of radio blackout the orbiter had survived trial by white hot plasma. The tiles had done their job, but now the orbiter is 90,000 feet high, doing twice the speed of sound, it’s out of fuel and it’s a lousy aeroplane. At 100 tonnes, it’s about two-thirds the mass of a Boeing 747 with a fraction of the lift, so its descent rate is seven times steeper than a jumbo. Small wonder the pilots nicknamed it ‘The Flying Brick’. And because it’s got no propulsion and the landing gear can only be lowered once, as the speed drops below Mach 1 and the commander takes over from the autopilot, they have just one shot at landing safely.

Having performed a spiralling loop to shed speed, the orbiter rushes in to touch down at 225mph – around 100mph faster than an airliner. A combination of rudder airbrakes, a parachute and several hundred extremely clenched backsides at mission control bring it to a halt after a round trip of 4–6 million miles.

Then there was the small matter of unloading the crew, hitching the powerless orbiter onto the back of an adapted jumbo jet, and flying it cross

country from Edwards Air Force Base, California back to Cape Canaveral, Florida for recommissioning.

You’d imagine the palaver of a $750k piggyback involving three fuel stops and an awful lot of double-checking bolts would get on NASA’s nerves, and it’d build a runway closer to where shuttles lived and launched. It did – in 1976. But while Florida is a useful place to launch a rocket (close to the equator to employ the Earth’s rotation as a slingshot, handily on a remote peninsula, with plenty of ocean for spent bits of rocket to fall into), it’s not especially helpful for landing space planes. For the early years of the shuttle programme, landing in the desert was preferable – less swamp and wildlife to smush.

From 1984, 78 shuttle missions ended in this verdant nature reserve: the John F. Kennedy Space Center’s shuttle landing facility, now the launch and landing facility, or LLF. It’s a whopper, at 2.8 miles (15,000ft) long – 1.5 miles longer than the strip at the heart of the TopGear test track. It is a vast space, bookended by swamps, and on the horizon, the towering vehicle assembly building where Saturn V rockets were readied for the moon.

What with modern rockets either landing themselves vertically or back to being as single use as a firework, a gigantic space plane runway is now as much a white elephant as the orbiter itself. But the LLF has found one new purpose as a vehicle proving ground. If you’ve got something really fast you want to test, this is one heck of a laboratory. John Hennessey’s Venom F5 hypercar has been down here at over 270mph. One of the chaps who now operates at the

LLF, Johnny Bohmer, drove his modified Ford GT to 310.8mph here last December. He almost got it stopped before the end, too...

Frankly, I’d come here just to walk along it, marvelling at the plaques laid in the high friction surface marking where each shuttle mission’s wheels came to rest. Being born long after the Apollo programme, for me the shuttle is space travel. It was never as routine as imagined. It never paid for itself. And with two orbiters and 14 crew lost, it was a risky piece of kit. But what’s amazing is that for a few decades, it seemed... normal. We got used to launches and landings on the news, and footage of astronauts floating about on the International Space Station gobbling globules of weightless water. The space shuttle contained 2.5 million moving parts. It was the most complicated machine ever made. And now it’s a museum exhibit.

The same ‘been there, done that, don’t care’ curse applies to very few cars. Most automobiles that achieve the improbable are well recognised and celebrated. If there’s an exception, it’s modern day Bugatti. Masterminded by late Volkswagen Group supremo Ferdinand Piëch as a crown jewel for Wolfsburg’s motoring empire, in 1999 he demanded a machine capable of achieving 1,000PS (986bhp) and 400kph (248mph). After five years of toil, his engineers delivered him the 1,001PS, 407kph Veyron. Always helps to exceed the boss’s expectations.

Even as Bugatti evolved its quad-turbo 16-cylinder hypercar into the Chiron and the 300+mph Super Sport, it’s never been able to outrun the

naysayers who give Ferrari a pass for passion and love Lambos for their lunacy. A Bugatti is just a numbers car. A 1,000 horsepower Audi TT. Three million quid for a Volkswagen. Precisely because it makes huge speed a supposedly easy business, big Bugs don’t quite get the love.

Like the shuttle in 2011, the Chiron is now being decommissioned. All are sold, and it’s a safe bet the architecture of future Bugattis will look a little different now Mate Rimac is in charge. To close this chapter, someone at Bugatti sussed out that only 19 people had ever driven one to 400kph, which is rather a waste of what it was engineered for. To boost those numbers, a handful of loyal owners have been invited to the LLF to give theirs the beans in one of the few locations on Earth it’s safe and legal to do so. I’m doing my best to blend in among the billionaires.

The fastest I’ve ever driven is 189mph down Le Mans’ Mulsanne straight in an Audi R8. That’s blitzed in today’s practice run, as my weapon of choice – a 1,578bhp Chiron Super Sport belonging to Bugatti USA rather than any of the nearby designer haircuts – waltzes up to 211mph. This mere canter is to familiarise myself with the runway’s perspective melting width, its slight camber, and the brake pressure required as I thunder past the ‘FINISH’ flags 0.8 miles before the runway limit. To really authenticate my Kennedy experience, my mission then gets scrubbed at T-minus 10 minutes. A biblical thunderstorm crashes in and rain is bouncing a foot off the surface as forked lightning thwacks the facility. I’ll have to come back tomorrow, early doors.

Attempts to look heroic undone by fear of getting caught short in fireproof onesie

500kph speedo = 310.6mph. Overkill really, when the Chiron SS vmaxes at just 304mph

“Mate I don’t care if ‘hungry alligators are chasing you’, I don’t pick up hitchhikers”

Each set of tyres costs $13k. Only guaranteed for 11 miles after doing 250mph...

BUGATTI CHIRON SUPER SPORT

Price: £3.5m

Engine: 7993cc quad-turbo W16

Power: 1,578bhp @ 7,000rpm, 1,180lb ft @ 2,250–7,000rpm

Transmission: Seven-speed dual-clutch, AWD

Performance: 0–62mph in 2.4secs, 273mph (limited)

Economy: 13.1mpg, 486g/km CO2

Weight: 1,978kg

Having failed to sleep much, I return at dawn. The rain doesn’t, but several aircraft are cleared to land, which delays my run from early morning to post-lunchtime. Then the Chiron’s fiendishly pernickety tyre pressure sensors get cantankerous. It’s now 28°C, and the engineers are grim-faced. The course is measured such that, in an ideal world, I ought to cross the finish at exactly 250mph. At current temperatures the heat soak from the massive W16 will be immense. I’m told it’s unlikely I’ll be getting maximum brake horsepower.

I’m more anxious about furnace cabin temperatures wilting the video cameras, and my ability to drive. A fireproof race suit is mandated here, packaging me into a medium-rare boil in the bag snack for a nearby alligator. Nature offers other hazards too. Flamingo-like wading birds called spoonbills call the Cape home, and if one of those comes through the windscreen at 250mph, it’s goodnight Ollie.

The view a second before I get the thumbs up to roll will never leave me. I’m backed all the way to runway’s edge. The dashboard confirms that Top Speed mode is active, trimming out the rear wing, closing the front flaps and confirming that at last, the tyres are satisfactory. I’d been instructed to trickle the car off the line and bleed the throttle in from about 30mph, but with only having one shot and the rising temperatures – well, what would you do? I’m not ashamed to admit I pretty much gunned it.

With a momentary chirrup from all four tyres, the Chiron teleports away. It’s not as gut wrenching as the maddest EVs, but the relentlessness of the surge is eye-watering. Five seconds later it’s striding past 125mph. I’m leaving the paddles alone. Over to you, algorithms. After 12 seconds I see 186mph and for the second time today I’m closing in on 200.

That was the easy bit. This is where time starts to slow down. My eyes are scanning the horizon for the brake markers but the windscreen is filled with a shimmering waterfall of heat haze. Beyond 220mph is where the car has to dig in. Beyond shuttle landing speed, where crosswinds start to attack at the most critical phase. 235mph. I’d been told to let the car wander. Don’t fight it with a snatch at the wheel, or it’ll unsettle the balance and I’ll be responsible for two skid marks you can see from space. Up to 239mph. The sense of the car mercilessly battering physics, accelerating in a vacuum, is now diminished. 242mph. Nature is holding us back, and I know I must be running out of room, but the horizon mirage is still masking where I am relative to the braking point. 245mph. A horrifying idea enters my head. What if the brake flags have blown over in the gusts and I’m about to use a Chiron for the world’s fastest Jackass stunt? Just before the shiver travels fully down my spine along with a message to lift my right foot, the finish whips past and I squeeeeeeeeze the brakes. Two tonnes of blood, sweat and tears slows straight ’n’ true down to 30mph, where I volte-face 10 lengths from the dirt.

My satellite verified vmax was 401.7kph, or 249.6mph. All I’ve done is sit down and press a pedal, but my throat is dry, palms are drenched and my heart’s still on overboost a quarter of an hour later... it’s a bungeejump-into-shark-infested-waters-sized dopamine hit. A pretty visceral reaction from just a soulless numbers car.

So, I’m into the 400kph club, and one day it’ll cease to bug me that I was 0.4mph from cracking a nice, round imperial 250. Shuttle pilot Jack Lousma was once asked what he thought of the shuttle’s runway. With a typically slick astronaut’s retort, he replied: “I wish they’d made it half as wide and twice as long.” Couldn’t agree more.

Did NASA astronauts get a glossy certificate after they completed their mission too?

Now go and watch the video on topgear.com

WORDS GREG POTTS PHOTOGRAPHY JONNY FLEETWOOD

GOOD WILL

HUNTING

Never fear, the TopGear Rhino Protection League is here, and for once we haven’t brought a wholly unsuitable vehicle. This is serious business

“NO RHINO, NO FEATURE”

This was the warning from editor Rix. Not something you’d usually overhear in the TopGear office, of course, but then I had just suggested that we could put the new South African-built Volkswagen Amarok to the test by deploying it with one of the many anti-poaching teams looking after resident rhinoceroses in the posh pickup’s new home.

Now dear reader, I wish I could claim that – with this ultimatum ringing in my and photographer Fleetwood’s ears – we set off searching for our horned friends across the African savanna for days on end, traversing tricky terrain in the Amarok and avoiding the more bitey creatures around with the hope of possibly catching a glimpse of one of the circa 16,000 white rhinos in existence.

As you may be able to tell from the remarkable images on these pages, it wasn’t like that.

In fact, the Anti-Poaching Unit (APU) at Gondwana game reserve four hours east of Cape Town has such incredible data, knowledge and tracking ability that we manage to get our off-road spec Amarok PanAmericana in the frame with some of these majestic 2.5-tonne grazers in a matter of hours. Success.

That’s not to say that the escapade is without jeopardy – the two rhino brothers we approach first are incredibly calm and happy to be papped, but as is often the case, the danger is a man-made creation.

Thanks to its huge anti-poaching efforts, Gondwana hasn’t had an incident since the reserve was established in 2006, but the protection of rhinos is a perilous business to be involved in. Conservation and sustainability manager Jono Berry tells us that a colleague at another reserve was recently assassinated simply for being incorruptible, and it’s not just those on the correct side of history who need to be careful – the night before we arrive, a poaching kingpin in the north of the country is gunned down while at the side of the road with a flat tyre. Conservation charities understandably don’t want to talk about the value of rhino horn on the black market either, for fear of encouraging more poaching, but it’s often quoted as being more expensive per kilogram than gold or that naughty white powder that Mr Escobar was so fond of.

“Ground rhino horn is used in traditional Asian medicine to ‘cure’ a range of ailments, from cancer to hangovers,” says a WWF statement. “And the horn is seen as a status symbol, particularly in Vietnam.” That’s despite the fact that it’s mostly made up of keratin – the same protein found in your fingernails.

And so, as the APU loads up on board the Amarok in place of the team’s usual 150,000+mile first-generation Ford Ranger, the danger – and a desire to display an

“Lovely conservation work, but how far to the hotel? I did fancy a swim before dinner”

Thanks to the carefully chosen paintjob he couldn’t tell the Amarok wasn’t another rhino

They’re very strict about trying to get through the airport with more than 100ml round here

You don’t want to know what happens if you swipe left on this app...

This is what happens when you select shortest route rather than quickest route on the nav

overt security presence in case anyone is scouting the reserve while posing as a guest on a game drive – is why we are surrounded by assault rifles and bulletproof vests. It’s also why the unit is led by Elton – a man who amassed 20 years’ experience in the South African Defence Force before a career change led him to law enforcement lecturing at the Southern African Wildlife College.

Elton’s team is fascinating, with over 20 members on alternating 12-hour shifts for round the clock rhino security. Day and night, 365 days a year. Their numbers are set to grow in the coming months too, and a canine tracking unit will also be reintroduced later this year to add an additional layer of protection. In a very Taken-esque manner, each employee has a specific set of skills that ranges from animal spoor specialists to dedicated human trackers, who can not only spot if a rogue poacher has walked through a bush or over a particular patch of grass, but they’ll also report which direction they were travelling in and provide an accurate guess at how tall they are. A ridiculously impressive skill on a 25,000+ acre reserve.

After a quick briefing that includes reports from the dedicated fencing team (described as the second line of defence after the local community, who are urged to report suspicious activity) and confirmation of the location of Gondwana’s pride of lions, we head out on an eyes down foot patrol with a select group from the APU, looking for signs of incursion into the reserve.

After avoiding a herd of elephants and passing a family of hippos at a closer proximity than we would like to admit to the BBC’s health and safety department, we jump back in the Amarok to traverse the reserve and find more ‘assets’ – each rhino needs to be spotted and logged in an app by the APU every day, and if it isn’t then finding it is a priority for the next team on shift. The Cmore system that Gondwana’s team is using was actually developed for security at the 2010 FIFA World Cup in South Africa, but it’s now used by a number of anti-poaching forces to log the position and condition of their protectees.

What’s immediately obvious in the anti-poaching world is how the mix of traditional tracking techniques combines with modern tech such as radio telemetry, the aforementioned apps and drones that can scout perimeter fences and offer air support at a fraction of the cost of a helicopter.

It’s something that’s reflected in the Amarok too, come to think of it. Thanks to a deal with Ford, this second-generation pickup is built on the same platform and in the same Pretoria factory as the new Ranger. That means underneath is a simple ladder frame chassis and leaf spring rear suspension that predates the extinction of the woolly rhino around 14,000 years ago. Engine options include

“UNDERNEATH IS LEAF SPRING REAR SUSPENSION THAT PREDATES THE EXTINCTION OF THE WOOLLY RHINO”

Amarok – King of the Jungle. Or is that title already taken?

Christopher – specialist human tracker. He will find you and he will... erm

“EACH EMPLOYEE HAS A VERY SPECIFIC SET OF SKILLS”

Elton – APU team leader and a man with 20 years’ experience in the South African Defence Force

“FROM THE DRIVER’S SEAT AT LEAST THIS PARTICULAR RHINO SEARCH ALL SEEMS RATHER SERENE”

four-cylinder turbodiesels with varying power outputs, but we’ve got the torquey but retro 3.0-litre V6 turbodiesel that makes 247bhp.

It’s almost as though Ford sorted all the workhorse bits down below before VW demanded some car-like luxuries on top. That means inside you’ll find a smart leather finished interior with orange stitching, a 12-inch touchscreen that’s almost too modern for its own good (imagine trying to operate those in-screen climate controls with chunky gloves on), a fancy Harman Kardon sound system and a multitude of different on- and off-road drive modes that make our slow rock crawls and fast blasts on loose surfaces a simple endeavour. Plus we’re able to provide the APU with a small slice of comfort thanks to our double cab set-up and the Amarok’s fairly compliant suspension. Well, that is when they haven’t plugged in the specific frequency into the radio telemetry that says “a rhino is that way”, because that requires a ride in the bed and some impressive arm in the air endurance.

As we head to the east of the reserve the landscape changes, with head height shrubbery meaning the Amarok’s bed now becomes a makeshift animal viewing platform. There are some properly testing tracks here too for the VW to further prove its off-road credentials. Some deeper-than-it-looks water requires a quick check of the manual – confirmation that yes, the new Amarok can wade to 800mm compared with the previous generation’s 500mm. And the improved approach and departure angles are put to good use,

as are the PanAmericana’s 360° camera systems to avoid scratching that Bright Beige paint. And yep, that is what Volkswagen is calling the colour.

UK pricing hasn’t been announced just yet, but the car we’re driving without any options costs just over one million South African Rand. That’s around £44,000 at current exchange rates. Not cheap, but then the PanAmericana spec does also add 18in wheels clad in chunky Goodyear Wrangler tyres, selectable four-wheel-drive modes with high- and low-range options (as well as an auto mode where the car senses slip and can send power forward if necessary) and a mechanical locking rear diff. Sounds complicated, but really all you need are those dedicated off-road drive modes. Select the type of surface that you’re on or the amount of grip you think you have, and the car sets up the gearbox, diffs and throttle map to ensure smooth and consistent progress. From the driver’s seat at least, this particular rhino search all seems rather serene.

The actual number of rhinos at Gondwana is a closely guarded secret that’s only shared on a need to know basis, but the work that the reserve is doing to protect the species extends beyond its 2.4-metre tall electric perimeter fence. In 2017 it opened Camp Charleston – a new home for the APU and a site where it offers training for fellow anti-poaching units through its Gondwana Conservation Foundation and the Rainbow Rhino Initiative. The plan is to eventually offer a two for one deal, where a breeding herd of rhinos can be sent out to another reserve along with a specially trained anti-poaching unit to guard them.

The future looks bright too, because as Jono informs us, a couple of female calves have just been born and are somewhere out there in the reserve learning the ways of the natural world. But hang on, we didn’t spot them at all today. Guess we’ll just have to camp out and try again tomorrow. Now, where did Elton say those lions were?

“Don’t look now Greg, but there’s an impala in your tent eating your stash of crisps”

ONLY

FANS!

What’s life like at 12,000rpm? We got to find out... in stereo. Jack and Ollie hop in the outer seats of the GMA T.50

Fortunately there was a bag of sweets in the glovebox to keep the kids quiet

Operation find-a-way-to-lockDario-in-the-toilet-and-stealthe-keys wasn’t going well

It’s 8.30am in Shalford, the headquarters of Gordon Murray Automotive. It’s been like the countdown to Christmas for the past few weeks, crossing the days off until this moment.

OM: Today Jack and I get to ride shotgun (double barrelled...) in the remarkable T.50 – a hypercar with the footprint of a Porsche Boxster, three seats and a 3.9-litre naturally aspirated V12 that revs to over 12,000rpm. Gordon doesn’t know or care how long 0–60mph takes or what the top speed is. This car is all about weight saving and sensation, about righting the supposed wrongs of the McLaren F1. Our pilot is Indycar legend and GMA development driver Dario Franchitti. The car sits outside the front door looking trim and petite. The doors swing up. While Dario shuffles over to the centre seat I look at Jack across the roof. You know how sometimes, for professional reasons, you want to keep the inane grin off your face, but it muscles its way through? That’s the face Jack is pulling now.

JR: Worth noting that Ollie, the consummate professional, is also grinning like a dog with multiple appendages. Right, I’ll sit on Dario’s left, not sure there’s actually a short straw here, and – excuse me while I savour this – because dropping into a passenger seat has never felt like more of an event. It’s snug for width, luckily I keep my love handles match fit at all times, but

leg, head, shoulder, elbow room... there’s enough of it. I reach up and pull the door down slowly – no need to slam it, just introduce the catches to each other, let the soft close do the rest.

OM: The engine fires. I’m expecting fireworks and glory, but there’s no earth shattering moment of revelation. The V12 sounds purposeful, hard edged, but not overly flamboyant. A few quick cockpit checks for comfort, Dario snicks first and we’re off, straight into the first obstacles. A pair of giant speedbumps. I’d driven my Elise down and graunched the underside over both. Dario mentions he can’t bring his Carrera GT down here for the same reason. The T.50 has no nose lift, yet clears them. Gordon was more willing to compromise on ride height than added weight, clearly.

JR: We turn out onto the public road and the view is magnificent. Not the A281, but your field of vision within the car. Glass roof arcing overhead (lighter carbon roof panels are also available, but even Gordon has ordered his T.50 with a glass roof for precisely this light-drenched effect) you’re angled towards the centre line of the car, line of sight straight over the driver’s shoulder to the beautiful analogue instrument set. It’s not the full central driving position experience, but you definitely get a slice of it.

OM: I completely agree on the view, it’s much more condensed and concentrated than in a normal car. Without having to turn your head you see the driver, the view out, the A-pillar and scenery rushing past – the sense of drama and excitement is unparalleled. And if I do turn my head I have a clear view of you on the other side. It’s brilliantly easy for the two passengers to have a conversation.

JR: It’s more awkward talking to Dario, isn’t it? You soon realise you’re basically shouting in his ear, while he has to talk forwards, so needs to speak louder. But you can easily chat in here by the way, so long as Dario’s just tickling the throttle. How’s his gear changing? I can’t see from this side.

OM: I think Dario is flattering a shift that looks quite sharp and abrupt. I don’t think Gordon’s

“A PASSENGER SEAT HAS NEVER FELT LIKE MORE OF AN EVENT”

Security takes a dim view of sliding down the fire escape banister

“THE ENGINE LOOKS

demands for little flywheel effect have resulted in a forgiving clutch. At least not at the moment. Quick aside here – the gearlever housing means I have less leg space than Jack, but I’ve figured it out now – I put my left leg far over to the right and bend my right leg back underneath my left. Gives the driver that bit more space.

JR: Here’s something I didn’t expect, Gordon’s allergy to screens isn’t absolute. There is one snuggled between the dials and it’s mirroring the maps on Dario’s phone faultlessly so far. So much so we’re ahead of schedule – we stop at a proper British village pub, which is closed, so we grab a cup of something hot from the proper British village shop and have a good poke and prod around the car. Highlights, Ollie?

OM: Opening the rear wing covers is a good place to start because not only is that your access to the storage lockers, you can also grab a view of the engine. It all looks so delicate and beautifully crafted. And check out the reversing camera plonked in the centre of the fan. Great touch.

JR: Also, those serrated edges on the fan blades look like something out of Saw 4. They’re a tip from the helicopter industry apparently, to reduce noise without sacrificing efficiency. What do you think about the looks? I much prefer it away from studio, but it’s still not the most dramatic, is it? More of a connoisseur’s choice rather than a show-off type thing... although a tin of luminous paint could change that.

OM: Agree, but it is quite funny when Dario starts talking about fuel economy and the tyres being cheap because the Michelins are modestly dimensioned, off the shelf and don’t need to be homologated for 300mph. Dude, it’s a £2.5 million car. However, I will be deeply impressed if that 32mpg figure on the trip computer proves accurate. Anyway, onwards, Dario’s promised us a ride down to Goodwood and back. Let’s swap sides.

JR: Back on the road and Dario’s coffee is kicking in. He goes for the world’s most efficient overtake, pure teleportation. Cue suppressed giggling from his passengers. What’s interesting is because our bums are further back than usual for a mid-engined car, the sensation is you’re sitting on top of the rear axle, like a Caterham, with the car pivoting in front of you. I definitely feel the tyres scrambling momentarily for purchase before locking in and launching us like a frictionless molecule.

OM: And that noise! It’s epic and I don’t think we got above about 7,000rpm. I’m loving the way it drives as well – but this is not a car with the same bandwidth as a 911. The ride seems crisp. Maybe not as supple as I was expecting. I think it’s more immediate and potentially less forgiving, but the body control is immaculate, you can tell there’s very little unsprung mass because there’s no secondary motion from the wheels when they kick back though potholes – and these roads have been shredded

“We can’t have been doing more than 150, officer?”

by a long winter. But I love how small it feels on the road, how easy to place within your lane, the view out, the light coming in – it’s all fabulous. And I’m really encouraged that 85 of the 106 buyers have gone for the longer overdrive sixth gear – means they plan on doing distance in it.

JR: And don’t forget what Gordon said – that he’ll be offering prizes for the highest mileage T.50 each year. And no, we’re not kidding. But now it’s time for something a bit more sprinty... the Dunsfold runway. We won’t be lobbing it around corners today, this isn’t a track car says Gordon – there’s a T.50 S coming specifically for that – but the offer to experience full fury in a straight line is one we won’t pass up. Dario nurses the clutch off the line and gives it most of the berries in second, then buries it in third... the crescendo of everything – noise, revs, drama, intensity, my face muscles – is beyond comparison. At this point readers, I suggest you scan the QR code and give the video a watch, because it’s a moment where moving pictures and sound are required.

OM: Oh my god, I know Dario was taking it easy off the line and ramping up gradually through first and second, but third gear was plain astonishing. The V12 is so visceral, so intense, so instant, has so much edge and precision. I know 664bhp is a lot, but for a hypercar it’s tiddly. I don’t think this quite pins you back like a Valkyrie, but it shows how much more depth and reward there can be to acceleration. The way the engine picks up, the snarling intake above your head, the rev needle looking like it had been flicked, and the soundtrack which is pure Nineties F1. I don’t think that noise is improvable, I just don’t. Tell you what, I fancy listening to it from outside – let’s hop out and get Dario to have another go.

JR: We won’t be alone – look, Gordon’s standing over there beaming and filming everything with his phone as if he hasn’t personally breathed this car into life, bolt by ultra-lightweight bolt, from brain to drawing board to reality. His TikTok is going to be lit.

OM: That’s a lovely thing to see isn’t it? Great to know it still matters that much to him. Now we’ve had our first taster... I can see why.

“IT SHOWS HOW MUCH DEPTH THERE CAN BE TO ACCELERATION”

The Z06 is Corvette’s most hardcore sports car yet... and, so it says, a fitting rival to anything Europe has to offer. Time for a showdown

DEFINE AMERICA. THE STARS AND STRIPES, THE HAMBURGER, THE STATUE OF LIBERTY, COWBOYS, THE CORVETTE.

Easy, huh? But that’s not what I’m driving at. It’s the only country where inserting a car in a list of cultural touch points seems natural.

The Corvette. Seventy years of history this year. They’ve been building Corvettes for nearly a third of the time America has been a country. No wonder there was such a fuss when, after seven generations of the horse pulling the cart, the eighth went mid-engined. But it retained a pushrod V8, because y’all drive torque, right? But pushrod engines nestle their single camshaft down in the centre of the vee, where it turns to actuates rods that travel back up the sides of the cylinders to operate the valves. It’s a compact layout, but it doesn’t like high revs – too many moving parts.

So, in a second wrench with tradition, the new Z06 has abandoned pushrod technology – the thing that defines the American V8 – and turned to double overhead camshafts. A European strategy. Well, I’m claiming it on behalf of Peugeot who invented it before the Corvette was even a twinkle in Harley Earl’s eye. Anyway, with V8s almost everyone these days reduces capacity and adds turbos to meet emissions. But we’re in the end days of internal combustion, everyone wants to go out like it’s the final Fourth of July and you do that to the V8 by adding noise and power. Which means you need revs.

But if you’re Corvette and you don’t have much experience of these things, where do you turn? Well, which supercar marque knows a thing or three about high-revving nat-asp V8s? Ferrari. It’s been out of the game since the 488 GTB arrived con turbocompressori in 2015, but look back and we can identify the 458 as a high point in its mid-engined V8 heritage. Corvette does. Its engineers makes no bones about the fact they reverse engineered a 458 during development of the Z06.

They also claim the result of their labours is now a rival to any hardcore sports car Europe has to offer. And sports cars come no harder or sportier than the Porsche 911 GT3. Yes, I’m aware the GT3 itself has a harder, sportier sibling, but let’s keep things road focused, shall we? I still can’t believe they got the RS’s rear wing homologated. Here we are then, an eclectic collection of old and new, borrowed and blue. I collected the Ferrari this morning from the Scottsdale dealership. On the website it hadn’t been wearing these chrome wheels, “but these were the original specification by the first owner” the salesman tells us, before explaining “he was from Miami”. See also the carbon ’n’ chrome flank badges and heavily tinted windows. Still a pretty, pretty thing, and has the divine looking retro seats that hark back to the Daytona. God they’re uncomfortable. There’s no give in them at all, no grip either, I’m just buffing the leather with my arse. And my dome is doing similar polishing work on the rooflining. I’m 5’ 9” for heaven’s sake, I don’t remember its driving position being this compromised. Nor, if memory serves, was the ride this grumbly. And was the twin clutch box always this amateurish and clunky?

Sports cars, it will turn out, have moved on. Mainly by losing the cold start grouchiness that afflicts my first few miles in the 458. Temporarily temperamental, it’ll turn out. The Corvette has challenges of its own, and none of them fade once it gets warm. The looks. Of all the lessons Corvette should have learned from Ferrari but didn’t, this is the biggest. It’s a ham-fisted bit of design: awkward jutting angles, clumsy surfacing, you can tell a mid-engined supercar is not something it’d had a go at before. The Porsche is low, glints with menace, cares not a fig about beauty, but yells purpose, and the Ferrari

Perfect parking, or selflevelling centre caps? You won’t get it out of us

Can’t beat the sun on your face, wind in your hair, the snapper’s knee in your lap

Plenty of room in the Corvette for the travel mug and overpowered torch

Ferrari hasn’t half aged gracefully – must be the Mediterranean diet

is more beautiful today than when it was young. It’s effortlessly elegant. So clean and unadorned, yet slinky and sophisticated.

The Corvette’s beauty lies in its engineering, because there it has been truer to Ferrari. The LT6 motor is brand new, shared only with the C8.R racer. It’s a 5.5-litre that revs to 8,600, has sodium-filled exhaust valves, titanium intake valves, titanium conrods, forged pistons. It is genuinely exotic, and yes, it has traded torque for power: 460lb ft plays 670bhp. It’s more powerful than the McLaren F1’s fabled 6.1-litre V12, develops 122bhp per litre of capacity and delivers a roughly equal number of decibels each time it erupts joyfully into life.

It’s on the money in other words. It’s a well documented fact that Porsche is near the limit of what it can achieve with the current flat six, which develops 126bhp per litre. However, 14 years ago the 4.5-litre in the Ferrari developed 125bhp/litre. But let’s allow the Corvette its moment of glory – it owns the title of most powerful naturally aspirated production V8 in the world. Ever. It’ll likely never be beaten. It’s quite the brag.

And it’s quite the car. We’re on wonderful roads with these three and they all have different characteristics. The Porsche is tense, focused, every inch the modern track warrior. It doesn’t like low speeds, the ride is stilted, the engine chunters and rattles, this one’s a manual and the shift is tight, the clutch heavily sprung. It needs input and concentration. But then you find yourself in third gear on an empty stretch of twisting tarmac on a bluebird day and the damn thing is just sublime. The engine, previously lumpy and recalcitrant, yowls past 5,000rpm and the GT3 finds its flow. Communication is transparent, every input from hands and feet is shared with the tarmac

with no slack, no delay. It’s an implacable, determined machine and that hints at a certain darkness.

The Ferrari is its polar opposite. A gleeful show-off, so bright and talkative it could be a morning chat show host. This initial impression makes you worry it’s a lightweight, that it’ll offer less tangible satisfaction than the Porsche. Wrong. So very, very wrong. It drives like a go-kart. And not only because I’m so big in this little cockpit. It’s the reactions. The sharpness of the steering, the hair trigger throttle that always, always gives you a bit more than you thought you requested, the sheer bubbling charisma of this small, svelte supercar. You don’t need more speed than this – 562bhp is plenty – and, yes, there is some detectable flex in the frame that’s been eradicated from the newer cars, but the chassis is simply one of the most gifted I’ve ever driven. The 458 dances, light in my hands, the steering writhes talkatively, the wailing engine sings its divine V8 song, the whole experience just carries you away. It’s alive, alert and so what if it’s a bit flimsier? I’ve said this before, but when this era ends, the 458 will be the car we all look back on as the zenith of mid-engined supercars. Which, you might be thinking, doesn’t bode well for the Z06. It’s certainly not as marked in its character as the Porsche and Ferrari. They are the light and dark on either side and no, the Z06 isn’t as effervescent as the 458, nor as gritty and tough as the GT3. It’s clear Corvette wasn’t sure its US audience was ready for European levels of interaction and suspension firmness. But forget the way it looks. Forget, too, the daftly shaped steering wheel, dividing centre console instead of awkward binnacle, the seats that don’t hug hard enough and the fact this is a convertible – it offers no handling drawback as far as I can tell.

“THE PORSCHE IS TENSE, FOCUSED, EVERY INCH THE MODERN TRACK WARRIOR”

Because this is a tremendous device. It’s extremely polished and well mannered, the edges have been chamfered off, it’s been made wonderfully approachable despite the flood of power available. It soothes rather than intimidates. That’s a new one. I remember driving a C6 Z06 fast and thinking I had a tiger by its tail. It’s clear the team that has designed, engineered and developed this car really knows its stuff. Us Europeans have a tendency to be a bit sniffy about American sports cars – not without reason. But here’s an exception. A car that rides wonderfully, steers accurately, behaves precisely and connects you with a mighty, mighty engine. Hair trigger throttle responses, minimal inertia, the sense of a big banger V8 with the snappiness of a small capacity motor.

That really needs space to fill its lungs, which means we’re headed for a track the other side of Phoenix. The Ferrari isn’t allowed out to play on track, so we convoy back into Scottsdale. I’m at the back in the Ferrari, feeling the road scud under my heels, watching the Porsche fidget behind other traffic, the Corvette just amble along. It looks big, but seems to tread lightly. No unnecessary movements.

I think I spot that same phrase on a sign the other side of the fence from Arizona Motorsports Park. The back straight runs alongside the main runway of Luke Air Force Base, so as I come barrelling around a fast fourth gear corner down the bottom end I’m so mesmerised by the F-35 filling my windscreen that I entirely miss my braking point. Home to the 56th fighter wing, this is the place that trains 75 per cent of the world’s F-35 pilots. On the other side of the track is a giant FedEx depot. Face one way and you’ve just joined TopGun, the other and you’re powersliding around a light industrial estate.

Ferrari has the smallest cockpit here, but helps satisfy your ego

Binnacle effectively divides driver from passenger. Not necessarily a bad thing

Fully circular steering wheel, traditional dials... it’s a thumbs up from us

Space to properly open the taps, though. The skill of the Z06 is that they’ve put a race engine in a road car and made them play nicely together. Each flatters the other. The roaring, thunderous engine convinces you the car is sharper, angrier than it is, while the chassis absorbs the punishment beautifully and distributes the power immaculately. It’s playful and controllable beyond the limit and 10mph faster than the GT3 at the quickest point on the track.

The Porsche has the edge for brakes and grip and delivers yet more finesse. It’s also the more absorbing, interesting car to drive, has more depth, so the rewards are greater. It’s more exposing of its driver, does less to help out, but leaves richer, more vivid memories in my mind. But something else occurs to me that evening as the sun sets. That blend of giving you access to such an extreme engine, yet choosing not to fit an equally extreme chassis is unusual. Porsche and Ferrari don’t do that. And the modes in the Corvette are clever. Track suspension, if you insist, proves you can make the suspension as raucous as the V8.

This is a car with a diverse range of talents. It’s got useful boots at both ends, so in supercar land only a 911 is more practical. It cruises calmly. You can drop the roof. One evening I did, and it felt great.

If that’s not your thing you can lower the convertible’s rear window to get even more engine noise in. The biggest drawback is the frankly horrendous fuel economy (14mpg when the Porsche was doing 24). It’s promised to come to Europe. Where everyone will be sniffy about it and giggle at the styling. And that’s a shame, because the rest of the car is genuinely sophisticated. And of course it’s great value: the GT3 is £135,700, in the US the Z06 hard-top (which still has lift out roof panels, quirkily) starts at £85,450. OK, it’ll probably be £110,000 by the time it gets here, but look at what you’re getting and when it’s arriving. The Ferrari, in case you’re interested, was listed at £154,000. It’ll only go one way from there. Same for the Corvette? I’ll tell you this: Corvette recently announced the e-Ray, a 655bhp plug-in hybrid. I know we need to look to the future, but fast forward 10 years and that car will likely be forgotten, and it’ll be this one that everyone talks about and is worth the big bucks.

And it’s the most European Corvette there’s ever been. But then the hamburger’s German, the cowboy originated in Spain, the Statue of Liberty was a gift from France and the stars and stripes... OK, that one was your own work.

Now go and watch the video on topgear.com

DOESN’T FIT THE TRADITIONAL CAR COLLECTOR MOULD”

If you were to believe social media, the archetypal car collector should be a chiselled, brilliantly tanned entrepreneur with teeth so bright only the Large Hadron Collider could accurately measure the light they emit.

Most of these characters are usually found at the more insufferable end of the personality scale. But worse yet, this attitude gives very little insight into their actual passion for cars, instead functioning more as a peacocking exercise to showcase their wealth.

Which is what makes this particular collection all the more endearing. It’s not located in a tax haven, rather the outskirts of Tokyo. But not some onsen-clad retreat filled with panpipes and geishas either. It’s actually a car park

under one of Yokohama’s many train stations, accessed by thousands of commuters every single day. Hardly the venue for one of the world’s largest Subaru collections...

Time to meet Akira Yokoyama – also known as Mr Boxer – who suffers from what he describes as Fuji Heavy disease. And no, this isn’t the aftermath of another Fukushimaesque meltdown. But a nod towards Fuji Heavy Industries, parent company of Subaru before it was renamed in 2017, and the only carmaker Yokoyama-san will entertain in his pursuit of maximum happiness.

Mr Boxer isn’t just collecting all types of Impreza, either. He did that back in 2014 before selling off all but four and starting again. “I love the Impreza, but I wanted to experience the models before its creation to better understand its history,” he explains. And since then,

“YOKOYAMA-SAN

every Subaru built since the company’s inception in 1953 has become a target.

Easier said than done with a brand like Subaru. It may not be renowned for producing ultra expensive cars, but they’re hardly famed for collectability once you look past models like the 22b, S201 and Spec C. And if you’ve got bundles of cash, it’s relatively easy to hoover those models up. Less so a 4x4 BRAT which hasn’t rusted into the earth.

Yokoyama-san doesn’t fit the traditional car collector mould. Aside from arriving in a Subaru jacket, his appearance and demeanour gives very little away as to what he has stashed here in Yokohama. You can find him on social media, but you’ll never see a selfie or his life outside this collection. And don’t expect a reply to any direct messages, either.

“Many people ask if the Subarus are for sale, or if they can make a YouTube video on them,” Yokoyama-san tells us. “But I am not interested in either. For this is my passion, my obsession for many years. It is not to gain followers or become noticed. But I do enjoy meeting other Subaru enthusiasts because of it.”

Ironic then, that his first appearance outside of Japan should be on the pages of TopGear magazine. And that’s all thanks to our old friend Junya Matsushita who convinced Yokoyama-san to showcase his collection on a global scale. But what turn of events leads to a man stashing away 50 Subarus in a shared car park, and why chose Subaru in the first place?

“It all started when I bought a Nissan Bluebird,” explains Yokoyama-san, which might just be the curveball of the

Like Picasso, Akira Yokoyama also went through a blue period

You could eat your dinner off these engines, just be careful not to drip any sauce

When you’ve got this many cars, filing them by colour is as good as anything else

“THEY NEED TO BE ROAD LEGAL AND DRIVABLE ALL YEAR ROUND”

century. “It was my first car, and after a few years I wanted to replace it with something more sporty. And in 1993 I bought my first Subaru – a GF8 Impreza Sport Wagon. Its performance and practicality impressed me so much, I knew I had to have another as I got older.’

In truth, it was the unmistakable sound of the Impreza’s flat-four engine – combined with unequal length manifolds – which left Yokoyama-san hooked. “I owned that first Impreza for a long time,” he adds. “It did everything I needed. Every winter, I would go skiing and the Impreza’s four-wheel-drive system was made for mountain routes. But after seven years I changed to a Subaru Legacy Touring Wagon (BH5) because the Impreza had many miles, and I liked the extra space offered by the Legacy with similar performance. But 2003 is when the obsession really started.”

The turning point for Yokoyama-san involved convincing his wife to use the Legacy Wagon he’d previously cherished, allowing him to go and buy another Subaru – a 2003 blobeye WRX STI. This plan worked so well it continued all the way into 2007, with Yokoyama-san handing down each car leaving the door wide open to go and buy the latest version instead. Happy wife, happy life.

inception – collecting key models including the FF-1 from 1969 and the Leone Estate from 1978.

Yokoyama-san hardly turned his back on the Impreza, with his current collection featuring 17 GC8-generation models as well as later variations including the S206 from 2011 and even a GK2 from 2022 to ensure he hasn’t forgot the very latest generation. So, what next? “Recently I started the collection of WRC and competition cars. I only have four so far – a 1992 Legacy, two 1994 Imprezas and a ’95 model driven by Colin McRae. The temptation is always there to find more interesting cars, but I don’t think the collection will grow any more from this point.”

According to Yokoyama-san, his focus has now shifted away from collecting and more to maintaining. That’s no easy task with a handful of cars, let alone 50 of them. But he’s adamant they need to be road legal and drivable all year round, even if that means selling a few in the process. On paper that sounds sensible, but don’t forget what happened the last time Yokoyama-san had a little clear out nine years ago. “Like I said, there is no cure for this disease,” he chuckles. “Sometimes you just need to take a little medicine to make the symptoms better, but it will always come back one day...”

PICKING A FAVOURITE CHILD

“It would be impossible to choose just one,” declares Yokoyama-san who, when prompted with this question, proceeds to go silent for several minutes. “The best I can do is to narrow it down to four cars – the 1994 GC8 STI, 1996 GC8 Type R STI, 1998 GC8 22b STI and the 2000 GC8 S201. But down to one? Simply not possible.”

He’s not lying, either. Because when he decided to sell 45 of his cars back in 2014, the only four cars that remained were those listed above. And they will remain in his possession forevermore.

Naturally, he decided to push this further by bringing home a 22B in 2007 while prices were still fairly normal. “It was lighter and faster than any Subaru I owned previously!” he exclaims. “The GC8 look is timeless, especially in coupe form, and the widebody looks very motorsport. It drove so different to other GC8s, it left me wondering what are all the other Imprezas I haven’t owned like? The 22B is very special, but I wanted to try all the other variations too. And that’s when the collection got out of hand...”

Within the next few years, Yokoyama-san added all the greatest hits to his collection – S201, S202, S203 and RA-R. The S204 followed in 2011 along with a GC8 Type R, Legacy RS-RA and Leone AG6 RX/II. Not only was his collection ticking off Imprezas, but it had also spread to those earlier models predating it too.

“In 2014, I stopped collecting when I got to around 45 cars and I sold all but four of them,” he says. “It was getting a little crazy. I thought by selling them all, it would cure me of the Fuji Heavy syndrome. But this disease has no cure, and nine years later I have even more cars than before!”

That’s because Yokoyama-san no longer wanted to just understand the Impreza’s history; he wanted to go far beyond this bloodline and all the way back to Subaru’s

If all foglights sat behind three screws it would solve a lot of problems...

CONCEPTS THAT TIME FORGOT

MERCEDES SLK, 1994

Sometimes you look at a concept car and if you have your contacts in it’s immediately obvious why it took a few tweaks to shuffle it through to the final production line It ran on tank tracks, for instance, or instead of a steering wheel you turned into corners using chill vibes You know, the practical stuff

Look at the Mercedes-Benz SLK concept study from the Turin Auto Show in 1994, though, and you wonder where it all went subtly wrong – haunches filed down, headlights given a lick of eyeliner, the whole thing slightly jacked up Didn’t harm the car’s chances on the market – more than 308,000 were built between 1996 and the car being yoinked off sale in early 2004 Strangely, the concept’s front end looks more like the 2010 SLS supercar than the SL of the time with perhaps a touch of 1997 CLK in the angular shoulders The production SLK (R170) had a more elegant, rounded form that better replicated the look of the R129 SL but it just didn’t look as fun as the concept

The concept was put together under the supervision of veteran Mercedes design boss Bruno Sacco, who was in charge of the official company pencil from 1975 to 1999 He’d styled innumerable hits, but still had enough juice left in the tank to move the game on with cars like the SLK He wanted a bit of a retro look in there, though, saying at the time: “Styling which refers

to nothing beyond current modernity would not be Mercedes styling ” Hence touches like the covered rollover bars behind the seats, which harked back to the 1955 300 SLR

You’d have to sprechen Sie Deutsch to understand the concept car’s name, of course

Mercedes already had the SL convertible, which stood for sportlich (sporty) and leicht (light) The additional K was for kurz (compact), signifying the SLK’s status as a baby SL The crazy folding metal roof wouldn t appear until the SLK II study at the Paris Motor Show later in 1994 – the R129 SL from 1989 featured the firm’s first folding hardtop, but the SLK started the craze for the feature on more affordable cars – it would even turn up on a Ford Focus in 2006

The glossy red interior was probably supposed to hark back to the golden era of the Fifties, but was also an unsubtle reminder that the world wasn’t that far along from the decade that taste forgot, the Eighties It was a sculpted, minimalist interior, though – a far cry from the fake walnut and endless grey plastic the production car would end up with

The SLK as it went on sale gained something of a reputation as a ladies’ car – easy us for us to lament the softening changes from the concept car, but it’s likely that this jab at the patriarchy was what ensured the convertible’s success Clever move, Mercedes Sam Burnett

B

WE’RE BUILDING A CUSTOM ROYAL ENFIELD

Report1:thebike

TG has had plenty of projects over the years, but we’ve never tackled the world of two wheels. Until now...

The cost of living crisis is making motorbikes an appetisingly frugal transport alternative. Plus, they’re flipping cool. And for not a lot of money you can make one unique.

So we’re going to make a custom, turning a Royal Enfield Continental GT650 into a never been done before crossover custom café racer.

Royal Enfield (the world’s oldest motorcycle company) has proper heritage. And the £6k GT650 has taken the market by storm.

But we’re going to make it into something special thanks to some talented bikers. So follow its progress here and in full on TopGear.com

ICCI’S GARAGE

34 Selling an old Mercedes on an online auction site proves total torture for Mark

Report

In 2004 James Wan released Saw, a horror film centered around a serial killer nicknamed Jigsaw. Rather than simply kill his victims, Jigsaw would test their will to live by putting them through deadly games, often resulting in great pain for the survivor, and a brutal death for the other.

These ‘games’ include a face mounted exploding bear trap (with the key behind your eye socket), a shackle that could only be removed by cutting off your own foot and – perhaps most terrifying of them all – trying to sell an old AMG Mercedes-Benz on eBay.

It remains Jigsaw’s most twisted game to date. Because unlike the others, the pain isn’t inflicted over seconds or minutes... it’s a relentless 24 hour a day marathon with multiple twists and turns just as you taste freedom. Administered by 257 watchers on eBay.

The game starts with a choice: do you open the eBay email from Harry Sharp, or do you answer the WhatsApp request from an overseas number? Neither result in death just yet. But after assuming eBay could be a safer bet, disaster strikes as it turns out to be a very angry gym bro complete with Audi TT in his seller profile.

For some reason, Harry is very agitated by the car being priced outside of his budget. But rather than carry on scrolling, Harry has decided to send a tirade of abuse all centred around it being overpriced. Despite him trying to sell a numberplate for nearly £3,000 that reads ‘weapon’ if you use the Greek alphabet.

Maimed but not dead, the next part of the game involves the overseas WhatsApp number. “Can I call you please” it reads – a message I never want to see nor answer unless my daughter has committed a crime and needs picking up. But before I can finish replying, Asad has clocked me being online and is already calling. This turns out to be a test of endurance, for Asad has not looked at any of the the 25+ pictures nor the 1,500 words documenting its history and information.

And so 15 minutes pass, and with clumps of hair ripped from my scalp, Asad reveals he has in fact seen the advert. It was a ruse all along. Not only has he seen the advert, but he knows the price and is adamant he simply cannot pay more than £35,000 despite agreeing that it is worth the asking price. However, his admission of owning a 488 Pista, Huracán Performante and G63 AMG early on would suggest this was his plan all along.

But this isn’t a Saw game with freedom at the end. For the last part of this game only a lobotomy will save you, triggered by Jigsaw putting the advert on the Pistonheads homepage. The automotive equivalent of smothering your face with honey and going full Zinedine Zidane into a hornet nest. No single sting is designed to kill you here, but a thousand small incisions will seal your fate over many hours instead.

And just before the game finishes for good, Pistonheads regular (and Westfield owner) 16vNige disregards hundreds of hours of exhaust fabrication by stating “you can get the same noise just by removing the silencers”. And with that damning statement read, two pins are driven deep into my skull rendering the nightmare over. Jigsaw, who turns out to be gym bro Harry all along, then assigns his numberplate to the S600 and drives off cackling away before the credits fill the screen.

Mark Riccioni

Internationally renowned photographer Mark has been working with TG for many, many years. When not taking photos he’s buying inappropriate cars. Here he shares his addiction with the world

If you saw this on eBay you’d find it irresistible too...

“PAIN ISN’T INFLICTED OVER SECONDS OR MINUTES... IT’S A RELENTLESS 24 HOUR A DAY MARATHON”

AUDI S3 vs AUDI S3 (2001)

Two premium hot hatches, 20 years apart. So what’s changed?

THESE TWO THINGS ARE NOT THE SAME

Correct and yet... not. If you want an example of technological evolution without dismantling expectation, then look no further than the Audi S3. The original appeared in 1999 and featured quattro all-wheel drive, a turbocharged four-cylinder and the kind of Goldilocks format that meant it could operate as a rapid, practical daily. That’s the subtle green one. The 2023 version, here in chirpy Miami blue, also has the same basics, but drive one immediately after the other and you’ll be surprised at just how little the overall vibe has changed in 24 years.

OK, BUT IS THAT A GOOD THING?

We think so. So yes, they do look different – but they’re still recognisably fraternal. The oldster is softer, more rounded, with modest 17-inch alloys. The new one is harder edged, gobbier and sits on 19s, but you can see where the styling has wandered up the timeline. And so it is with everything else. The green car is an original S3 with an MTM ECU tweak to the turbo 1.8 to give 250bhp, with a sweet revving delivery that requires a beat to get the little turbo up to speed. Zero to 62mph takes 6.8 seconds with a 1,420kg kerbweight, a light feeling 6spd manual punctuating the shifts.

SOUNDS BRILLIANT – BUT THE NEW ONE IS BETTER, RIGHT?

The modern one doesn’t need that breath to get going or change

gear – modern turbos spool faster, deliver lower in the rev range and feel more insistent, and the 7spd paddleshift DSG doesn’t pause. The newer face also gets a 2.0-litre upgrade and 306bhp, though it’s moving 1,560kg. It does, however, feel appreciably more rapid when it knuckles down to a sub-five second 0–62mph run.

THAT MAKES THEM SOUND QUITE DIFFERENT THOUGH?

The stats are a bit misleading really, because the old one doesn’t feel outclassed. Yes, the Haldex all-wheel-drive system is the first gen and is entirely reactive – you’ll only get up to 50 per cent action from the rears when the fronts have already started to spin – but it’s got the grip if you’ve got the faith. The latest model gets a similar system in that it runs as front-wheel drive most of the time, but it’s got a second multi-plate clutch just in front of the rear diff. Traction getting loose? The car can thump 100 per cent of the available torque to the rear axle and vary it much more precisely.

BETTER, BUT NOT BETTER?

It’s a much more finessed and precise delivery – and one that doesn’t require quite so much commitment. But again, it’s grownup, rather than a different kind of car. Both feel like S3s. Rapid, secure, without the fear you get with RS products. You can still plot the lineage with a ruler. Which is better? The modern version. Which is best? In this case, old school still has the character.

LESS THAN £15K

LESS THAN £18K

LESS THAN £20K

REMEMBERING

#50 RETRO GAMING THE CLASSICS

FERRARI F355 CHALLENGE

ARCADE/DREAMCAST/PS2, 1999

If you’d been instrumental in two of the greatest racing games in history, you’d be forgiven for relaxing a bit. Maybe finding out exactly how comfortable laurels are? That’s not what Yu Suzuki, the bloke behind Out Run and Daytona USA did. Instead, he produced Ferrari F355 Challenge, an arcade game that was, at the time, one of the most sophisticated racing simulators available.

As the title of the game implies, you weren’t exactly spoilt for choice when you dropped your pound coin into the slot. Would you prefer a red Ferrari F355 or a yellow one, sir or madam?

At least the F355 in question was the stripped down, track focused Challenge spec that raced on circuits around the world in the late Nineties, with its distinctive perforated rear grille to aid airflow through the engine bay. During development, Suzuki allegedly used data from his own F355 at various circuits to inform the handling model, which sounds like an excuse to extend the research phase by 6–12 months if ever we heard one.

The problem with bunging a state of the art simulator into public arcades full of eight-year-olds is that racing cars are hard to drive and players would spend most of their time enjoying the highly realistic experience of sitting in a gravel trap. Suzuki’s solution was one of the first implementations of toggleable driver assists in a racing simulator. At any point during a race, you could mash one of four buttons that enabled or disabled stability control, traction control, ABS or the unfortunately titled IBS, which stood for “intelligent brake system” rather than the other thing you’re thinking of. Though if you switch it off and end up careening off the road at Monza’s Parabolica, the symptoms are remarkably similar...

Mike Channell

Price now: £17,995

Harris says: Designed to look like something from the Thirties, this Brit-built Beauford uses a Nissan powertrain and both the front and rear suspension from a MkV Cortina

Price now: £19,995

Harris says: A replica of the Lotus Eleven, this Westfield was put together in 2009 and features a modified 1380cc A Series engine from a classic Mini

WESTFIELD XI (2009)

Price now: £14,995

Harris says: Tell anyone that you’re buying/building a kit car and it’s pretty likely they’ll imagine a Caterham Seven This is one of the cheapest around but still only has 11,000 miles on the clock

CATERHAM SEVEN 1700 SUPER SPRINT (1994)

BEAUFORD SERIES 3 (2000)

TOPGEAR ’S LONG-TERM CARS. TESTED & VERIFIED

OraFunkyCat

REPORT 3

£31,995 OTR/£32,790 as tested/£398 pcm

WHY IT’S HERE

Is Chinese domination of the small EV scene inevitable? We find out DRIVER

Potts

IT’S WELL KNOWN THAT THE NEXT MINI ELECTRIC WILL FEATURE MUCH of the same hardware as the Ora Funky Cat, thanks to a joint venture agreed between BMW and Ora’s overlords at Great Wall Motors.

It’s likely to be an all-new, collaboratively developed platform that underpins the next-gen Mini EV – which will once again look almost exactly the same as its combustion-engined counterpart – but it could potentially use the Funky Cat’s current motor or battery tech and so on. That’s one for the future though, because the Funky Cat has already arrived on our shores, so it’s time to pit the Chinese newbie up against the current generation Mini Electric, which first arrived in 2020.

The Mini is the quicker of the two. It gets 181bhp and 199lb ft of torque to drive its front wheels, meaning a 0–62mph time of 7.3 and a sprightly feel to the way it gets off the line. The Funky Cat makes do with 169bhp and a 0–62mph time that’s a whole second slower, although its bigger battery (48kWh plays 32.6kWh) means it’ll supposedly travel 193 miles on a charge compared to the Mini’s 145 miles.

But there’s polish to the way the Mini drives the Ora just can’t match. Both have fairly firm suspension set-ups, but in the Mini that means sharp handling and decent body control. Chuck the Ora into a corner and you never have confidence that it’s going to stick as it understeers heavily and

offers no real feedback, even with the steering in the heaviest of its three settings. There’s a delay to your actions driving the Funky Cat too, with the accelerator and brakes ever so slightly slow to respond.

It was always going to be tough for Ora to face the Mini, and if it were my £35k-ish that I had to spend on one of these two, I’d be heading to a Mini dealer. And yet, getting the two cars together did help me to appreciate the slightly different direction that the Funky Cat takes.

SPECIFICATION

GOOD STUFF

The Ora’s focus on rear legroom over bootspace means back seat passengers love it.

BAD STUFF

The Funky Cat’s planned Apple CarPlay update is still nowhere to be seen.

SKODAENYAQvRS

REPORT 2

£54,370/£54,990/£774

WHY IT’S HERE

Is the vRS badge still relevant in the electric age?

DRIVER

Ollie Marriage

THE RULES OF SPEED HAVE BEEN upended. We know a vRS should be quick-ish. Not as quick as a GTI, but swifter than, say, a Volvo XC40. But hang about, for the same money as the Enyaq vRS, you can have a twin motor XC40 with over 100bhp more and a 0–62mph time 1.5secs faster. A Volvo. There’s a Kia EV6 out there with 575bhp. Where does that fit in?

The hierarchy has been demolished and that’s allowed firms such as Tesla and Kia to come in and make their own rules. Alongside them, forced to use whatever bits VW allows and persevere with vRS as a recognised brand identity, Skoda seems stuck in a rut.

And that’s before we get back to talking about the physical performance of this car. Because it’s not fast, and it’s not interesting. It’s no punchier than most other EVs. It’s not notably faster than a regular Enyaq and there’s absolutely nothing distinctive about the power delivery. Sport still sells, but if car firms want to claim sportiness they’re going to have to try a lot harder than this. After all, we haven’t even talked about weight yet.

Audi S3

REPORT 5

WHY IT’S HERE

Fast Audis are consistently inconsistent – is the S3 a hit or miss?

DRIVER

Ollie Kew

AS YOU’LL KNOW FROM PAGE 120, EVERY MONTH IN TG MAGAZINE, there’s a ‘progress report’. The formula is simple but intriguing: we pitch the current version of a car against its earliest (or greatest) iteration and see where exactly the DNA has been inherited, where the car might’ve lost its way, and how a model has adapted to the world around it.

Very often, words like ‘charm’ weave their way into a progress report, because older cars invoke that powerful drug: nostalgia. Well, here’s the record scratch moment. Because I drove an original Audi S3 for the first time in my life the other week. And I didn’t much care for it.

This isn’t a spoiler for the S3’s progress report: Tom Ford is more enamoured with Audi UK’s immaculate 2001 S3, complete with the MTM power kit which ups the horsepower from 225 to 250. But I thought ye olde S3 slipped into that uncanny valley where a car feels dated, but not yet quaint. It brought home how rigidly Audi has stuck to the S3’s original recipe, right up to the present day. The old S3 wasn’t a car you’d have bought to be entertained. It was the fastest way of getting a modest sized, easy to park cabin from A to B. In 2023, nothing’s changed.

What really struck me is how, while every other hot hatch has moved with the times, Audi’s recipe has stayed steadfastly desirable. A Civic Type R is unrecognisable in mechanical set-up, potency and performance to what you could buy at the turn of the millennium. So is a Golf R. The Focus RS doesn’t exist any more. Who would’ve thought an A-Class would morph from moose-allergic box to 400bhp driftmeister?

All this time, perhaps it’s been Audi that got the modern hot hatch formula closest to what most people want, most of the time. Under the radar, largely unengaging, but phenomenally untaxing to live with.

SPECIFICATION

SPECIFICATION

GOOD STUFF

BAD STUFF

£39,045 (£47,370 for Vorsprung ed.)/£49,030 as tested/£794 pcm

Audi’s touchscreen is as good as they get right now. Sensible size, layout and never crashes.

Why do the doors need such a hefty slam to close properly? I’m forever setting off ‘unlatched’.

Naturally, the bootlid gets a badge. As if four tailpipes weren’t enough of a clue

Steering wheel also ‘S’ed up, but with plastic paddles and no flat bottom, it could be a Q7

Black badge on black grille means red blob sticks out like ketchup on your cheek

I’ve accused the S3’s cabin of lacking pizzazz, so let’s play ‘count the sporty clues’

Besides the lacklustre S-branded seats, badged kick plates add 10bhp

1984cc 4cyl turbo, 306bhp, 295lb ft, 7spd DCT, AWD

CitroenC5XHybrid

REPORT 4

£40,155 OTR/£42,985 as tested/£705 pcm

WHY IT’S HERE

Has the world finally come round to a non-sporty large French car?

DRIVER

Jason Barlow

LOTS OF MILES THIS MONTH. THIS IS GOOD AND BAD NEWS FOR THE C5 X. The good news is that it tackles long-haul journeys with the aplomb of cars costing two or even three times the Citroen’s sticker price. The C5 X’s rolling comfort and motorway speed refinement is close indeed to the well-known German paragons.

Less welcome is its compromised range. In fact, it needs replenishing about as often as the pure-electric BMW, which regularly managed 340 miles on a full charge. The TG C5 X is the plug-in hybrid version, but as I’m only seeing 18 miles fully juiced up, that’s gone in no time. Maybe if the weather ever improves, I’ll get closer to the 37-mile claimed e-range. This leaves the ICE to do almost all of the heavy lifting, and a 40-litre tank just isn’t big enough. From my base in north Essex to Goodwood, for example, is a round trip of about 250 miles, which is easily doable. But with three longish trips back to back, I had to fuel up three days out of four. Sure, it costs a modest £40–45 per fill-up, but I’d rather have a 70-litre tank, spend more, and not see quite so much of my local petrol retailer. Sorry, but hybrids still seem to me more about company car tax efficiency than a truly meaningful real world answer.

The C5 X can also be clunky around town, as it works out what gear it should be in and when. It’s seamless when it’s in e-mode, but it just doesn’t go far enough. Still, at least the C5 X isn’t an SUV or crossover. I’m a huge fan of the Seventies and Eighties CX, and this is a 2023 interpretation of that fine machine (good ones have risen sharply in value recently by the way). It straddles a fine line between being needlessly idiosyncratic and a plausible alternative. We certainly need more of that as everything threatens to homogenise and converge.

SPECIFICATION

MAZDACX-60

REPORT 4

£49,520/£53,270/£649

WHY IT’S HERE

Can Mazda join the large/luxe SUV party?

DRIVER

Andy

Franklin

AT UNI, I STUDIED PRODUCT Design and part of the course that resonated with me was learning how design is so important when it comes to semantics (the study of meaning) and semiotics (the study of signs and symbols, how meaning is created). But in today’s modern cars there’s so much tech enhanced by the power of digital screens that getting those things right is increasingly hard.

Yet Mazda appears to have gone the opposite way with the interior of the CX-60, and quite frankly, it’s so refreshing. This interior is one of the best interiors I have had the pleasure of sitting in during the past 10 years. Why? Because the semantics and semiotics (signs and symbols) work. To break it down in simple terms, there’s a central screen that holds all your entertainment and satnav (which is basically it) and then below that there is a row of buttons. Yes, actual buttons that only control the heating including heated seats etc. It’s a perfect combination of using both mediums for the right job. The only downside? The driving experience currently doesn’t live up to the interior experience.

WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?

This month: the Enyaq’s sign recognition system

Ollie Marriage

GOOD STUFF

Wonderful refinement, just as good as cars twice the price.

BAD STUFF

I seem to spend a disproportionate amount of time filling up at fuel stations thanks to the tiny fuel tank.

SPECIFICATION

Sodding radar cruise. Hardly a novel way to start a rant. But this time I’m not having a go at the extreme myopia of the forward vision systems or the learner level lane ricochet that passes for lane keep. You thought that was it, didn’t you? That that was all radar cruise could interfere with. I did. And then the other day the Enyaq spotted a road sign on the M4 and slammed on the brakes. There was a car behind. No harm, no damage, but the driver, quite rightly and vividly, thought I was a fool. The Enyaq saw the 50mph sign for roadworks and reacted, with no awareness or consideration for following traffic. And you can’t turn it off. It’s amateur hour. And I haven’t yet got to the good part. Because it’s somehow reading two or three signs on my commute that aren’t speed limits, but feature the number 100 on them. With predictable results...

DS 4

REPORT 3

£41,600 OTR/£47,185 as tested/£643 pcm

WHY IT’S HERE

Is this hatchback where the DS master plan finally comes good? DRIVER

Esther Neve

WHEN THE DS ARRIVED WITH US, IT HAD ALREADY LIVED QUITE A LIFE, so it came as no surprise to me when the inevitable warning flashed up on the dashboard – SERVICE DUE.

Normally this would precipitate several fraught phone calls to book the car in when it was convenient, and likely the plans would be changed and updated several times... we’ve all been there. But with DS, it was different.

As we know, the DS dealer network is not massive. It is, in fact, petite. So petite that I was worried I’d have a monstrous drive to the far end of the country to deliver the 4 for its necessary checkup. But no. Absolutely not.

It turns out that DS offers a concierge service, which puts you as the customer front and centre. You register your request for a car service either online or by phone. I went online, made my request and chose the ‘delivery and collection’ option. I could also have requested a courtesy car, but I didn’t need one. Soon I was contacted by Alex from DS Brentford to organise a schedule for the car to be picked up, serviced and returned. We agreed a collection the following evening and a return the day after.

Good as gold, he arrived on time, was super friendly and polite and took KP22 OPZ for its checkup. The following morning I received an email link to a comprehensive web page detailing the work undertaken, which let me know the car had been serviced and given a clean bill of

health – there was even a video from the technician who had carried out the service. Alex then returned the DS, valeted inside and out. Excellent. As a member of the cynicism club, this was a most pleasant surprise. It was the best dealer experience I have ever had. Any concerns I previously held about the scarcity of DS dealerships across the UK has completely evaporated – when life is made that simple for the customer, it’s such a joy. Now we just have to wait for every other car company to catch up.

GOOD STUFF

MULTIVAN. RARELY DO WE GET SUCH AN APPROPRIATE NAME AS this for a vehicle – ignoring the fact it’s not technically a van, but Volkswagen Multipurpose Vehicle doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue.

Despite being based on the same MQB platform as the Golf, it’s still shaped like a van but now happily doesn’t drive like one. It has a wide range of engine options (including the plug-in hybrid like ours) and all the creature comforts you’d find in a Golf. So, this isn’t really a van turned car but the other way around, and that’s what sets the Multivan apart. Forget your SUVs and estates, if you’re looking for practicality, go for the car with seven spacious seats and up to 3,700 litres of cargo space. Unlike a van with windows, the Multivan has refinement on its side. And that’s important when it’s working flat out round the clock...

You see, the past month has seen the Multivan perform as TG’s mobile production hub. It’s been an edit suite, canteen, cargo van, meeting room, camera car... the list goes on. It’s been unfazed by whatever we throw at it.

You may be saying, “I can do all that in my Golf, mate” and you may be right. But I can guarantee, not with as much ease. The Multivan’s new floor track system makes configuring the interior layout a doddle. The seats are 25 per cent lighter than before and with the pull of a red tag you can slide them backwards and forwards or remove them entirely. Handy when you want maximum cargo space, or need an excuse not to give your mates a lift everywhere.

The Multivan does without a manual gearbox and places the drive selector on the dashboard, which opens up the centre console area and

makes way for the ingenious multi-function table that slides into any position you wish. Although useful to do some work when you’ve got some downtime, it was put to particularly good use for a late night Nando’s after TG’s EV Awards shoot. Cupholders aren’t in short supply either – I’ve counted nine excluding the door bins. No wonder I keep losing travel mugs.

What’s more, power can now be sent down the tracks which allows for heated seats in the rear, but hopefully opens the door to a whole range of accessories. Media units, fridges, power banks, who knows?

I’m expecting big things from the recently announced Multivan California being revealed later this year.

Finally on the practicality front, there are the vast sliding doors and enormous tailgate. Nothing new, but the large openings and low load height make shifting clobber super simple. At least they do when I can operate them correctly. The Multivan has one of those sensors under the rear bumper which activates the boot if you walk too closely behind the car – not great if you’re backed up against another car and find yourself doing the limbo to avoid getting incapacitated by the bootlid. The electronic sliding doors also occasionally have a moment where they can’t decide whether to open, close, or do nothing at all. Perhaps that’s down to my impatient button mashing. Either way, these are small gripes that do not diminish the van-car’s versatility.

And now you’re thinking “Fine, it’s an extremely utilitarian box, but you wouldn’t be seen dead in one”, right? After all, no one cool would voluntarily biff about in such a vehicle, right? Wrong. Turns out Gordon

Charlie Rose and Ollie Kew

Murray himself is a VW MPV fan, and owner. He pored over TopGear’s Multivan during our recent rendezvous with the T.50 prototype, as he has a T5 Caravelle. “I needed something that could seat three couples, carry all their luggage and a massive supermarket haul, as the nearest shop when I’m on holiday is two hours away,” Gordon tells us. So, what did he make of the Multivan’s more car-based makeover? Actually, he was less than impressed.

“It’s wider,” he notes immediately. “The lanes near me are so narrow, I need to know exactly where the sides are.” He climbs aboard and grumbles that the seat mechanisms feel more cumbersome, despite VW’s claimed weight saving. Naturally, he’s unenthused with the plug-in hybrid drivetrain’s weight, real world fuel economy and the button free dashboard. We’re about to offer him a test drive, but the T.50 neeeows past and he’s off to film it like a proud father.

So, the infamously tough to impress Murray is unlikely to be swapping his Caravelle for a Multivan. It’s true: the less van/more car recipe has brought flaws as well as improvements. But this month, we simply couldn’t have done without our multipurpose two-tone friend.

GOOD STUFF

Easy access makes life so much simpler – people and stuff can be loaded without a worry.

BAD STUFF

CO

1498cc, 4cyl turbo + e-motor, AWD, 129bhp, 187lb ft

Those airline-style tables in the back... very useful but very

when stowed away.

Those iPlayer movies will not watch themselves, must keep at it...

Multivan doubles as dining room for a post-shoot dinner. Seats comfy, tables a bit cramped

WHAT ELSE WE’RE RUNNING

RENAULTMEGANEE-TECH

Quite a few drives out of London this month I did day trips from my place to Lechlade for the BYD Atto 3, Faringdon for the Mercedes A-Class and B-Class facelifts, and Great Milton for the renewed DS 3 and DS 7s Then there was Gordon Murray’s T.33 Spider in Dunsfold, and a weekend away for a birthday near Hailsham And guess what, the Megane was more fun than any of the above test cars PH

VolvoXC40Recharge

REPORT 5

WHY IT’S HERE

Is this electrified crossover as good as a bespoke EV from Polestar?

A MONTH SPENT WITH OUR NEW TWIN MOTOR XC40 AND LET’S START with the good stuff. The spec is spot on – that Farrow and Ball-esque green paint sits perfectly with Volvo’s premium Scandi image, we now have heated seats and steering wheel, a reversing camera and black Alcantara everywhere. It looks expensive... which is fortunate, because it is. Over £60k for a small EV crossover is an eye watering number.

Recent online reports suggest that the BMW M8 can do 0–60mph in 2 7 seconds That makes it quicker off the line than a Caterham 620R, Ferrari 296 GTB and Mercedes-AMG One Now, I know that lots of heavy electric cars can accelerate quickly, but remember this has got all those old school parameters to juggle in order to get up and go. And there’s drama and theatre to doing it in the M8 RH

VAUXHALLASTRA

This month I am saddened to report that the Astra has been UNDER SIEGE. Yes, in recent weeks, the poor Vaux has been assaulted in not one, but two separate incidents, neither of which could be blamed on the Astra or indeed its driver (me) Credit where credit’s due, both offenders actually left their contact details, and there’s no significant damage beyond some bodywork scuffs. But why do I still feel guilty? SP

The six-mile range bump over the single motor version is welcome, but in reality makes little to no difference. The speed bump, though, is significant, but nothing else about the car – and rightly so – is sporty.

Which got me thinking about the whole idea of performance versions of EVs... are they necessary? I know Ollie is grappling with the same thing with the Skoda Enyaq vRS he’s running, because the drawbacks (cost more, less range for the same battery size, potentially harsher suspension) seem to outweigh the benefits (faster in a straight line, more aggressive styling – assuming that’s your thing). At least with a petrol performance derivative your chunk of extra cash tends to buy you a more interesting, better sounding and more potent engine under the bonnet.

So what’s my solution? If you want a performance car, a car to prickle your senses and get under your skin, buy one with an exciting petrol engine, drive it when the mood takes you and keep it forever. For all the boring stuff in-between, an electric car could be the zippy, fuss free solution. And if you’re looking at the XC40 Recharge, I’d wait for the updated single motor, big battery, rear-wheel-drive version to arrive later this year and enjoy the peace of mind that a 320-mile range brings... that, not 0–62mph times, is what matters more when you go electric.

SPECIFICATION GOOD STUFF

Volvo design is in a groove, and it is a desirable object. This one might colour match your Aga.

BAD STUFF

Can’t seem to get over the £60k price... yes it’s a premium product, but for that money there are better EVs out there.

£60,300 OTR/£60,300 as tested/£819 pcm

DRIVER

Jack Rix

Cupra BorneBoost

REPORT 5

£43,735 OTR/£45,100 as tested/£490 pcm

WHY IT’S HERE

Can the Born succeed where other VW product fails? DRIVER

Ford

BEFORE ANYONE THINKS THIS IS A SMEAR CAMPAIGN AGAINST THE Born, I’d like to point out that I actually think this is a very solid little electric hatch with tonnes to recommend it, which we’ll cover off in the next update. But first, here’s a few things that have bothered us...

1 > It chimes when you get out

STOP IT WITH THE EXTRA NOISES.

2 > Dirty business

The uncovered rear camera is basically useless for most of the year.

3 > The windscreen wipers are left handed

Which means they sweep the left-hand side of the screen first.

4 > Wacky window switches

The VW parts bin electric window switches are a disaster.

5 > The infotainment. Again

A bugbear for any VW-based current infotainment.

6 > Why four?

Only four seats. Could’ve been a five-seater. Still, plenty of room for milk.

7 > Is it haunted?

The Born will do two slightly odd things now and again. One, it will understeer on mild lock and under acceleration. Two, if you’re three-

point turning quickly, the power steering pump groans.

8 > No peaking

We’re yet to achieve the 135kW max charge rate.

9 > Un-stereo stereo

You don’t get rear speakers unless you upgrade to the Beats system.

10 > Information station

It could do with more relevant information on the small driver screen.

SPECIFICATION

GOOD STUFF

We’ll cover these off in next month’s update.

BAD STUFF

See listed niggles. Although not ranked in order of annoyance, because that would be far too difficult to figure out.

Honda Civic

GOODBYE

£32,995 OTR/£33,820 as tested/£410 pcm

WHY IT’S HERE

Maybe the best family hatch – just as everyone stops buying hatches

DRIVER

Vijay Pattni

THIS IS OFFICIALLY A VERY GOOD CAR. WHETHER THAT MAKES IT ONE you actively want – as we’ve discussed recently – is another matter, but the case for it is compelling. Let us begin.

Firstly, and most obviously, it is much nicer to look at than the car that immediately preceded it. Cleaner lines, a face that doesn’t scream ‘I’ve had a few energy drinks and now I want to run up a mountainside naked’, and a fastback roofline. A neighbour’s teenage son recently opined that they too should get a ‘cool’ car like this one. They’ve got a brand new Qashqai, FYI.

Indeed it’s against the likes of the Qashqai this Honda finds itself in a fight; a fight for the very soul of the hatchback if you want comical melodramatics, because if Honda can make this normal, everyday car work, there’s hope others might follow suit. Or maybe it’s just the last salvo before everyone packs in the medium hatchback segment entirely and we’re all riding around in five-tonne electric battle tanks.

Speaking of electricity, there’s a lot of very clever technology underpinning the new Civic and its petrol-electric hybrid drivetrain. At no point are you aware of any one power source dominating, such is the silky handover betwixt electric and combustion engine. It recharges quickly, accelerates without fuss, cruises comfortably, drowns out road noise and imperfections, and handles itself with some measure of competence.

Just like the interior. It’s a clean, uncluttered layout that – praise be! – features real-life actual buttons. The driving position is spot on, as is the comfort level of the seats. Feels well built from better materials too.

Is this all damning with faint praise? Like, ‘this fat-free cake features no fat or cake whatsoever’? Not in our books. Keen drivers will naturally gravitate towards the Type R – and should do, because it’s brilliant – but for the rest, here is simply a Very Good Car.

SPECIFICATION

GOOD STUFF

Easy to live with, well built, extraordinary real world economy, looks better than before.

BAD STUFF

MILEAGE: 5,848 OUR MPG: 58.2

Likely to be a stopover on the way to SUV-ville for most buyers.

56.5mpg, 114g/km CO2

1993cc 4cyl turbo hybrid, FWD, 181bhp, 232lb ft

EXHAUST

BEGINNER’S GUIDE TO ALFA ROMEO

From greatest hits to lowest moments, everything you ever wanted to know... and a fair bit you didn’t

WORDS SAM BURNETT, STEPHEN DOBIE, GREG POTTS

Who is Alfa Romeo and when did it start making cars?

Alexandre Darracq was a big cheese in the French market in the early 1900s and started an Italian offshoot. Its factory moved from Naples to Milan in 1906, but Darracq grew tired of poor sales and wound the company up in 1909. His chairman, Ugo Stella, gathered some investors and founded a new company called Anonima Lombarda Fabbrica Automobil, snapping up Darracq’s assets in the process.

Alfa produced some road- and racecars over the next few years, before entrepreneur Nicola Romeo bought up a chunk in 1915. He focused the company’s efforts on military hardware in World War One, then post-war got involved in trains. The first Alfa Romeo car – the 20/30 HP – wasn’t made until 1920. The same year that a young racing driver called Enzo Ferrari joined the firm, rising to become race team manager.

Nicola Romeo left in 1928 when the company got into financial difficulties, and Alfa Romeo ended up under government control after 1933, a crown jewel for Mussolini’s Fascists. It was never very profitable, even with state aid, and ministers were only too happy when Fiat bought it in 1986. As has happened with many companies in recent years, Alfa Romeo was folded into the ever expanding Stellantis portfolio in 2021.

Alfa Romeo’s greatest hits

The 2015 Giulia saloon was a return to form for Alfa Romeo, and by far the greatest Alfa of modern times is the Giulia Quadrifoglio It’s a BMW M3 rival with real heart Oh, and a 2 9-litre twin turbo V6 fettled by Ferrari engineers that makes 503bhp and 443lb ft of torque

Designed by the legendary Vittorio Jano, the straight-eight engined P3 Tipo B dominated Grand Prix racing in the early Thirties with drivers like Tazio Nuvolari at the wheel It has also the honour of being the first ever proper single seater racing car

The mid-engined 33 Stradale makes a strong case for being the prettiest Alfa ever, which in turn could make it the prettiest car ever There was a road-going (in fact that’s what Stradale means in Italian) version of the Tipo 33 racer, too, with just 18 of them built from 1967–1969

The 158 was originally born in 1937, but even over a decade later – after being stashed away during WW2 – it won the Formula One World Championship in 1950 and 1951 as the 159. It’s one of the most successful racecars ever, winning 38 of the 42 Grands Prix it entered

In 1965, the Giulia Sprint GT became the GTA, with the extra letter standing for alleggerita or lightened/lightweight This was thanks to aluminium panels, Plexiglas windows and a stripped interior that meant the 200 homologation specials weighed just 745kg

Unveiled at the 1966 Geneva Motor Show, the gorgeous Pininfarina-designed Spider 1600 was the last project that Battista Pininfarina was involved in before his death that same year. Pininfarina built the front-engined, rear-drive roadster for Alfa Romeo, with almost 9,000 sold

From the swoopy lines of Pininfarina to the ultimate Eighties sharpness of Zagato The 1989 SZ was a brilliantly boxy sports coupe powered by the famous 3 0-litre Busso V6 Just over 1,000 LHD models were built, and by now less than 30 SZs remain active on UK roads

With a name that harked back to the Alfa 8Cs of old and a stunning body that looked almost identical to the 2003 concept car, the 2007 8C Competizione was a modern day Alfa supercar. Just 40 of them found their way over to the UK, costing a heady £111,000 each

The ultimate Seventies Alfa – the 2+2 Montreal was designed by Marcello Gandini over at Bertone and used a derivative of the 2 6-litre V8 engine that could be found in the 33 Stradale. It cost more than a Porsche 911 when it was new, but you’d happily pay for those exotic looks

Alfa Romeo Montreal

Alfa Romeo 8C Competizione

Alfa Romeo 158/159 Alfetta

Alfa Romeo Spider

Alfa Romeo Giulia Sprint GTA

Alfa Romeo 33 Stradale

Alfa Romeo Giulia Quadrifoglio

Alfa Romeo P3 Tipo B

Alfa Romeo SZ

FACTOID

Italian

h

What’s the cheapest car that Alfa Romeo builds... and what’s the most expensive?

You could look two ways at the current Alfa range – either it’s massively diminished, a sign of management that doesn’t know what to do with it, or it’s cleverly focused, with an eye on finally producing profitable cars.

At any rate, your cheapest way into an Alfa Romeo these days is by going for a Tonale SUV, launched in February 2022. It costs £38,620 in mild hybrid Edizione Speciale form. It’s powered

by a 158bhp 1.5-litre petrol and comes with 20in wheels, auto lights and wipers, keyless entry, powered tailgate, 10.25in touchscreen infotainment and smartphone integration.

The most expensive Alfa is the £79,859 Stelvio Quadrifoglio, a sporting SUV powered by a 2.9-litre twin-turbo V6 producing 503bhp. It benefits from four-wheel drive and manages the 0–62mph run in an impressive 3.8 seconds.

illustrator Romano Cattaneo, friend of Alfa’s first chief engineer Giuseppe Merosi, came up with the company logo while waiting for a tram in Milan. His eye was caught by the biscione (giant grass snake) symbol of the Visconti family on the Castello Sforzesco, and he suggested it for the new firm’s cars. The little man being eaten was a bit grim on its own, but balanced by the red cross of Milan it became an icon.

What is Alfa Romeo’s fastest car?

It does depend on which parameter you’re judging by, but in both cases it’s the current version of the Giulia.

The Quadrifoglio version – the 503bhp saloon car that takes on the BMW M3 – hits a formidable 191mph top

speed, the highest of any Alfa road car in history.

Back in 2021 Alfa produced a more extreme GTAm track-focused variant of the car that was limited to 500 examples. It gave away a few miles an hour in outright

top speed to the Quadrifoglio (thanks to all that delicious downforce from its bespoke bodykit), but managed to cut 0.3secs off the 0–62mph run, taking just 3.6secs.

Whichever way you look at the Giulia, then, it’s the

fastest Alfa we’ve ever seen, but the gorgeous 8C supercar of the late Noughties isn’t too far behind it.

The Alfa F1 team might be mere marketing trickery, but its cars did hit 204mph at the Saudi Arabian GP this year.

t’s t e chea e t

NOTABLE PEOPLE

Where are Alfas built and how many are sold a year?

Where are Minis built, and how many does it build a year?

52,664

Alfa’s HQ is at the historic Centro Stile site in the middle of Fiat’s huge Mirafiori factory south of Turin, but the company no longer builds any of its cars in either Milan or Turin. The Tonale comes from a Stellantis facility in Pomigliano d’Arco north east of Naples, and the Giulia and Stelvio from a factory in Piedimonte San Germano, about halfway along the A1 from Naples to Rome. The last year we have an actual number for Alfa’s global sales is 2021 –for some reason, the Stellantis overlords don’t want to make a fuss about 2022. The Tonale crossover launch in 2022 is a recent high spot, but the firm seems content to tick over with facelifts for the seven-year-old Giulia and Stelvio models in 2023. A small e-SUV based on the Jeep Avenger arrives next year and there are rumours of both a seven-seat SUV and a supercar on the way. Eventually.

What’s the best concept that Alfa Romeo has ever made?

Well, this is a truly rich seam from which to pick. Do we go with the 1968 Carabo, a prime slice of Italian supercar wedge designed by Gandini? Or Giugiaro’s 2002 Brera, a gorgeous preview of the unconventional coupe of the same name? Or perhaps the 2012 Disco Volante by Touring, looking like a Sixties spaceship?

The list goes on, but before we lose the rest of our working month ogling Alfa’s concept car history, let’s settle on, um, three cars. Namely the BAT trio (it stood for Berlina, Aerodinamica and Tecnica) of the Fifties, three concepts from Giuseppe Bertone and Franco Scaglione that evolved a new focus on aero in stunning fashion.

Giuseppe Farina Italian racer was the first ever F1 champion – in an Alfa, too – way back in 1950

Nicola Romeo

In return for keeping Alfa solvent in 1915, Signor Romeo just wanted his name there

Orazio Satta Puliga

So many greats, but Puliga invented modern Alfas as head of design 1946–1969

Ugo Stella Italian aristocrat was the brains behind original firm Alfa in 1910

Jean-Philippe Imparato CEO since 2021, JP’s job is to launch a load of electric cars and make Alfa great again

What was Alfa’s best moment?

Alfa got the Formula One World Championship off to a solid start by winning the first two seasons with Giuseppe Farina and Juan Manuel Fangio. But really its best moment came courtesy of a front-wheel-drive hatchback. Nope, we’re not suddenly all wistful for the slightly dopey looking Mito city car, but rather the mighty Alfasud, a gorgeous and deftly handling compact car like the Italians have always done best. Just over a million of the things were built from 1971 to 1989, though finding one now that hasn’t melted away at the merest forecast of rain is tough.

Same goes for Alfa’s other big hits, the GTV coupe and Spider, which saw various iterations during their lifespans from 1993 to 2004. They brought gorgeous styling penned by Pininfarina (and occasionally decent handling) to a relatively attainable price point. Oh what we’d give for modern day, corrosion proofed versions.

What was Alfa’s worst moment?

Alfa Romeo has never managed to maintain a high for very long – from the heady excitement of the Alfasud, the company managed to follow up the perky little hatch with a dumpy number produced in conjunction with Japanese carmaker Nissan. For some reason they thought it would be nice to let the Nissan designers take the lead on messing around with the coloured pencils. It ended up as a worst of both worlds compromise – boxy looks, indifferent handling but still with the typically dicey build quality that everyone associates with Eighties Alfa Romeos.

The runner up slot goes to the 2013–2020 4C sports car – it tantalised with a truly delectable bit of design but sadly wasn’t able to meet the promise those looks built up. Maybe if we were the sorts of drivers who merely like to pose in our attractive looking sports cars it would have been OK, but for those of us who enjoy a good drive and decent build quality...

What was Alfa’s biggest surprise?

The European Car of the Year jurors clearly have a bit of a thing for Italian built motors – Fiat has the most wins from the annual award, with nine of its cars taking the top prize since it began back in 1964, most recently the reborn Fiat 500 in 2008.

Alfa had a brief but surprising run of form two decades ago, but while the 156 saloon and 147 hatchback look delightful and drove smartly, did they really, truly deserve to beat the MkIV Volkswagen Golf, original Toyota Prius and the innovative little Audi A2 to the gongs of 1998 and 2001? Who’s to say.

In more recent years, the Mito, Giulietta (a very close second back in 2011) and Giulia have all done pretty well too. Clearly the charm and romance of an Alfa Romeo is irresistible to all, even a selection of hardbitten European motoring journalists.

LOGO EVOLUTION

1910

Yikes, this thing could do with some help. Bit of a leap from here to ‘man being eaten by snake’

1915

Struggling Alfa takes on its sugar daddy’s surname in 1915 and goes double barrelled, all looking good

1948

A delightful colourful number – the little red man really pops out as he fights for his life

1972

More subtle look for the Seventies. Snake looks like it’s chomping down on a jelly baby

2015

Ah, the textured chrome phase. Alfa seems to update its badge more than some of its cars

What’s the most Alfa Romeo car in the back catalogue?

Alfa Romeo 158/159 Alfetta / 1938–1951

There are so many eras of Alfa Romeo to choose from, for good and bad, but there’s one iconic car that practically invented the lore and helped give rise to the racing cliche of ‘win on Sunday, sell on Monday’ – the 158/159 Alfetta.

It’s one of the most successful racing cars ever made, winning 38 of the 42 Grands Prix it entered and countless more non-championship events. It was driven by some of the greats –Juan Manuel Fangio, Giuseppe Farina, Luigi Fagioli. People complain in modern racing when teams get too dominant, but Alfa Romeo was the first to do it properly.

The Alfetta was high-tech at the time, but the parts list brings a tear to your eye these days. It had a tubular frame chassis and leaf

spring suspension, no aero sophistry to speak of and the engine was mounted up front between two solid looking, uncompromising treaded tyres. Hell, it didn’t even come with a seatbelt, because back in those days men were men. Until they crashed, then they were done for.

The 1.5-litre straight-eight supercharged engine was designed by Gioachino Colombo, who did such a nice job in 1937 that then Alfa race team boss Enzo Ferrari later nabbed him for a little road car project he was planning to launch in 1947. Indeed, the Colombo V12 was still being built in 1988.

Gioachino returned to Alfa Romeo in time to work on the Alfetta once again and ensure championship success in the opening seasons

of the F1 championship. By the time the 159 was created for the 1951 season, it weighed 710kg and produced 425bhp (a significant increase from 195bhp in 1938, thanks to the Roots singlestage compressor being upgraded to a two-stage system). It was enough to get the car to a top speed of 190mph, if you were brave enough.

By the time of 1950’s inaugural F1 season, the Alfa team was seasoned and practiced. Its driver line-up certainly was too – Fangio (39), Farina (44) and Fagioli (52) were wily old foxes, keen to outrace the challenging Ferraris. It wasn’t a walkover – turning up the power on the engines meant having to carry outrageous amounts of fuel, seriously taxing the swing axle suspension, which was replaced with a De Dion set-up that

still didn’t quite address the weaknesses. Still, the Alfa won every race that it contested in 1950 and Farina took the first F1 drivers’ title. The upgrade to the stiffer 159 pushed Alfa Romeo to a second title in 1951, Fangio’s first.

Alfa left F1 at the end of the 1951 season, only to pop back up again in 2018 as a ‘technical partner’ to the Sauber team and getting the naming rights as title sponsor from 2019. The marketing fluff hasn’t quite captured the magic of the Forties and Fifties, and Sauber will become the Audi factory team in 2026. Not the first time an Alfa has been chopped in for a premium German brand, but look back far enough and you’ll find a time when it wasn’t like that at all.

Red heat The exhaust pipe down the side of the car needed aluminium cladding so as not to burn the drivers’ arms

HATCHBACKS SUPERMINIS CITY CARS

These small cars are perfect for urban life, but the trade-off is a much lower range

You drive mostly around town, with occasional need for longer distances? Try these for size

A good electric hatch needs decent range without compromising interior space

PRICE: £36,920–£38,120 RANGE: Up to 136 miles

This TG favourite has retro styling and a brilliant interior, but it’s a smidge expensive and the range isn’t great. Somehow we can’t help but love it...

PRICE: £30,195–£34,345 RANGE: Up to 232 miles

The e-208 is competent and stylish, but ultimately you’ll fall into one of two camps: outraged about the tiny steering wheel or you don’t understand the fuss.

PRICE: £35,995–£39,995 RANGE: Up to 292 miles

Renault hopes to bring a bit of va va voom (French for increased car sales) to its electric line-up with this larger electric Megane. Early signs are promising.

PRICE: £30,645–£36,645 RANGE: Up to 199 miles

The latest version of the 500 offers sharper looks, good value and decent range – and a parcel shelf full of soft toys shouldn’t hurt the battery too much.

PRICE: £31,000–£35,050 RANGE: Up to 145 miles

The electric version of the home-grown favourite squeezes the BMW i3’s powertrain into a familiar package. Range not massive, but the car’s still fun.

PRICE: £25,995–£31,495 RANGE: Up to 281 miles

Oh, MG – what’s this delightful looking new electric hatch? The company’s previous EVs have been very sensible buys, now we know that it means business.

PRICE: £7,695–£8,695 RANGE: 47 miles

Say hello to your little French friend. The pared back Ami is the perfect car for the city streets, as long as you don’t have ambitions to go further than that.

PRICE: £29,995–£31,995 RANGE: Up to 239 miles

They grow up so fast, don’t they? The Zoe’s not long turned eight, but a recent refresh has given the car a boost. Make sure you get one with rapid charging.

PRICE: £41,650–£56,095 RANGE: Up to 315 miles

Hyundai’s futuristic hatch is much bigger than it looks in pics, but comes with solid range, loads of space and a host of life-enhancing touches inside.

PRICE: £22,225–£25,795 RANGE: 80 miles

Yes, range is terrible, but as city cars go the Fortwo remains a brilliant package and works well in the city. It’s just not quite as cool as Citroen’s effort...

PRICE: £31,000–£33,735 RANGE: Up to 209 miles

A Peugeot e-208 in a Vauxhall suit – now the EV’s gone fully mainstream. The one to buy if you don’t want anyone to notice you’ve taken the plunge.

PRICE: £36,475–£43,735 RANGE: Up to 343 miles

The Born offers a sporty flavour of VW’s small EV hatch set-up (see also Enyaq). Check out our current long-termer in the Garage section of the magazine.

3. HYUNDAI IONIQ 5

1. PEUGEOT e-208

1. HONDA e

2. MINI ELECTRIC

2. FIAT 500

1. RENAULT MEGANE E-TECH

3. RENAULT ZOE

3. CITROEN AMI

4. VAUXHALL CORSA ELECTRIC

4. SMART EQ FORTWO

2. MG4

4. CUPRA BORN

READY TO MAKE THE SWITCH? WE SEPARATE WHAT’S HOT FROM WHAT’S NOT LARGE CROSSOVERS COMPACT CROSSOVERS FAMILY CARS

Small, but perfectly formed. These cars are a perfect second motor or teeny family wagon

Slightly larger electric cars that are designed to cope with everything you can throw at them

These cars need to meet tough demands –plenty of space, a solid image and low costs

PRICE: From £36,500 RANGE: Up to 244 miles

Jeeps are for off-roading, surely? Well this small SUV is perfect for the urban jungle, which is why we’ve named it our overall electric car of the year in 2023.

PRICE: £38,970–£51,765 RANGE: Up to 336 miles

As usual, Skoda offers a down-to-earth and slightly cheaper alternative to whatever Volkswagen is pumping out. To great effect, as it turns out...

PRICE: £57,115–£61,915 RANGE: Up to 258 miles

This retro-infused Kombi reinterpretation comes with an imposing heritage, but it’s a solid family wagon that shows off a different side to VW’s EV platform.

2. BMW iX

PRICE: £43,150–£49,550 RANGE: Up to 394 miles

Undercover Volvo offers Scandinavian attention to detail paired with a level of build quality that would shame a number of much more expensive cars.

PRICE: £51,990–£67,990 RANGE: Up to 331 miles

A Model 3 with more headroom and a seven-seat option. Latest Tesla gets usual blend of innovative disruption and occasionally iffy build quality.

PRICE: £69,905–£116,905 RANGE: Up to 369 miles

A lovely cabin and it’s not too bad to drive – which is great, because inside the BMW iX is one of the few places where you don’t have to look at the outside.

PRICE: £36,745–£43,145 RANGE: Up to 285 miles

The old Niro was already a decent buy, but the new version improves everywhere and is alright to look at too. Great family entry point into electric motoring.

PRICE: £45,245–£57,145 RANGE: Up to 328 miles

The EV6 is based on the same Hyundai Group platform as the Ioniq 5, but they’re very different propositions. The EV6 is stylish and fun, we like it.

PRICE: £62,865–£65,865 RANGE: Up to 285 miles

Slightly stealthier than some of BMW’s more, er, aesthetically challenging EVs, this car is essentially an electric translation of the bestselling X3 SUV.

PRICE: £33,700–£37,650 RANGE: Up to 212 miles

Wait, when did Peugeots become so desirable again? The e-2008 is surprisingly fun to drive and offers a chic interior with lots of nifty touches.

PRICE: £50,830–£74,540 RANGE: Up to 372 miles

The Mach-E isn’t really a Mustang at all, or a men’s razor, but it looks pretty good. It’s definitely a Ford though, so relentless competence is guaranteed.

PRICE: £67,080–£114,500 RANGE: Up to 343 miles

Audi’s flagship e-SUV wears its electricness lightly, it’s a great option if you’re new to EVs. Just have a look at those digital mirrors to see if you like them...

1. SKODA ENYAQ

1. VOLKSWAGEN ID.BUZZ

2. POLESTAR 2

3. KIA NIRO

4. PEUGEOT e-2008

4. AUDI Q8 E-TRON

2. TESLA MODEL Y

3. BMW iX3

1. JEEP AVENGER

4. FORD MUSTANG MACH-E

3. KIA EV6

LUXURY EVs

Wafting along in all sorts of style is perfect for a hushed electric powertrain

SPECIAL MENTIONS

“I’VE BOUGHT ONE! WHAT NOW?”

PRICE: £110,545–£137,230 RANGE: Up to 387 miles

The 7-Series has always been the standard setter for BMW’s luxury efforts, and the new i7 is a fearsomely effective limo, with the 31in Theatre Screen a highlight.

PRICE: £69,905–£116,905 RANGE: Up to 369 miles

The iX sets a high bar in terms of interior quality and interesting materials, a wafty ride and gusty pace. But you’d probably park it round the corner still.

BEST FOR GETTING INTO RACING

You have a home charge point. Don’t you? Well, get one. There’s a grant, so it’ll cost you less than £500. If you don’t have a driveway, to get an overnight or allday recharge check zapmap.com for posts near home or work that give between 5kW and 7kW. Always make sure that you know in advance the supplier for the post you want to use, and register on its app or get its dedicated RFID card.

Rapid (DC) chargers, at a slightly higher price, are best used for long trips, like you’d stop for fuel. They take roughly as long as filling with petrol and having a full English.

PRICE: £105,610–£119,610 RANGE: Up to 464 miles

Phwoar, look at the range on that. The Merc EQS is a proper grand tourer, complete with everything we have always loved about the combustion S-Class.

BEST FOR SMALL BUSINESSES

In winter, keep plugged in until you drive away, as pre-warming the battery and cabin increases range. When possible, choose heated/cooled seats over cabin heating and aircon. Try to drop your motorway speed by 10mph: it’ll hugely increase range, getting you there far more quickly if it avoids a recharging stop.

BEST FOR TOWING THINGS

PRICE: £77,495–£79,995 RANGE: Up to 292 miles

Sure, it’s getting a bit old and left behind compared with some of its rivals but the I-Pace is where old school class meets cutting edge technology.

We’re really looking forward to seeing the production version of the Renault 5 EV in action, but the best thing about this retro-inspired supermini? It’ll definitely cost less than the outgoing £30k Zoe, promises Renault.

The Little Car Company has announced that it is starting a one-make racing series for its Bugatti Baby II electric cars for kids. Each team requires an adult and child, though the entry fees will be £5k.

The new second generation Ford e-Transit Courier is the tiniest option in the Transit range, which makes it perfect for small businesses. You know, businesses that need to deliver the small things they’ve made.

A common complaint is that EVs aren’t any good for towing things, but the performance oriented BMW iX M60 is a £120k towing machine, rated at 2,500kg. Ironically not quite enough to tow a 2,600kg iX M60.

The EVs that have caught our eye, for all the right reasons. Who said they aren’t cool?

4. JAGUAR I-PACE

1. BMW i7

2. BMW iX

3. MERCEDES-BENZ EQS

BEST FOR FANS OF THE EIGHTIES

EV

BAFFLED BY ELECTRIC CAR JARGON?

YOUR GUIDE TO DECODING THE FUTURE IS HERE

Let’s start with a simple one. EV means electric vehicle, as opposed to one powered by petrol, diesel, used chip oil, Chanel No 5 or magic.

BEV

People in the car industry like to use this one. It stands for battery electric vehicle, as opposed to, say, an FCEV (fuel cell electric vehicle) that’s powered by hydrogen. We just call them EVs.

ICE

The internal combustion engine. Confusingly, ICE can also stand for in-car entertainment (ie the stereo, touchscreen and so on).

PHEV

Plug-in hybrid electric vehicle, or a hybrid with a bigger battery that you can plug in to charge, giving you a short, say 20-mile, electriconly range. Amazing taxdodging mpg figures in the official tests, not so amazing in real life... unless you plug in every night and use the car exclusively for short trips.

MHEV

The mild hybrid EV, or MHEV, the very bottom rung of the electrified vehicle ladder. A small electric motor assists the engine, but doesn’t have enough gumption to push the car on its own. MHEVs usually manage a fuel saving of about 10 per cent compared with a pure petrol car.

REX

Refers to range extenders, or small internal combustion engines used as generators to recharge EV batteries on the move. The engine can be run at its most efficient rpm, converting fuel to electricity, which is fed to the motors that supply the motive force.

Volts, amps and watts

We’re going to go full science teacher on you and use an analogy. Imagine a river: the volts are how fast the river flows, the amps are how much water is flowing, and the watts are how easily it’ll carry you downstream.

kW

Logical, metric countries use kilowatt to measure power from petrol and diesel engines. For the rest of us a kilowatt is 1,000 watts, and is the most common measure of power in an EV. A kilowatt is equal to about 1.34bhp.

kWh Stands for kilowatt hours and can cut two ways – how much power you’ve used (which a utilities bill does), or how much capacity there is in a battery. For instance, a Tesla Model S has 100kWh of capacity, of which you’ll be able to use about 90, because fully depleting a battery is a great way to ruin it forever.

AC and DC

AC stands for alternating current, and DC stands for Batman comics... er, wait... direct current. AC’s better for long-distance transmission, because it can easily be transformed (to higher voltage, lower current, so fewer heat losses). Transforming DC power is a faff but, because DC charging stations can be as big as they need to be, they can employ high-voltage power, giant transformers and rectifiers and get huge power – up to 350kW.

Slow, fast and rapid charging

Slow or level 1 charging is when you use a regular wall

plug. Fast or level 2 refers to street chargers and the boxes you can install in your house or office, which go up to 7.4kW on normal 240V single phase AC, or 22kW on industrial three phase. Rapid or level 3 is the high power DC supply, the sort you’ll find at motorway services and dedicated charging areas, from 50kW up to 360kW.

CHAdeMO

CHAdeMO is not the result of a cat walking across a keyboard. It’s basically the fast charging standard Japan came up with. Competing standards include CCS and Tesla Superchargers, which all look reaaaaally similar.

CCS

The DC charger you’ll most likely use across the UK and Europe. Works in everything from a Tesla to a VW.

Supercharging

If it looks like a CCS charger and works like a CCS charger, it could very well be a Tesla Supercharger. But you can’t use it unless you’re in a Tesla.

mpkWh

Not content with the unholy union of litres of petrol and pints of milk, the UK’s uneasy blend of metric and ReesMogg leaves us measuring EV economy in miles per kilowatt hour. So, if you have 50 usable kWh, and run at 4.0mpkWh, you’ll do 200 miles before you’re stranded.

WLTP

Stands for Worldwide

Harmonised Light Vehicle Test Procedure. A way to test new cars to see how much fuel, or energy, they use, how much greenhouse gas they expel, and how far they get on one tank/charge. More

accurate than the old NEDC standard, but still optimistic.

Regen

Shorthand for ‘regenerative braking’. Electric motors work by using electricity and magnets to spin a shaft. So, if you were to spin it manually, say, by coasting, you will then generate electricity, because generators are basically motors operating the opposite way.

Range

How far you’ll get in your car from the amount of energy you put into it. So, it’s been fuel from a tank for most of your life, now it’s a battery.

Range anxiety

The fear of being very far from home, on a dark and cold night, without enough power to make it to a charging station. In the short term, the solution is more rapid charge stations, in the long term, better energy density and more efficient cars should ease our furrowed brows.

Li-ion

A contraction of lithium-ion, which refers to the chemical make-up of a typical battery pack. The 12V brick used to start your petrol powered car is a lead-acid battery, but lithium-ion is now the global norm for powering new EVs.

Solid-state battery

The next big step in battery tech – holds more energy than an equivalent-sized li-ion battery, or the same amount of energy but in a smaller and lighter pack. They’re easier to cool, too, which means you can charge them quicker before they get too hot. At least five years until any come to market.

Supercapacitor

Supercapacitors can charge and discharge more quickly than regular batteries – good for bursts of speed – and can tolerate more charge and discharge cycles, but they’re still not as energy dense as batteries, so you’re unlikely to see them as direct battery replacements. More likely to supplement a petrol engine’s performance. See the Lamborghini Sián.

CCZ

The congestion charge zone that covers central London. From 7am to 6pm on weekdays, or 12pm-6pm at weekends and on bank holidays it’ll cost you £15 to drive in this zone. But, with a zero emission car you can fill out a form and pay a oneoff £10 for an exemption that lasts a year.

ULEZ

The CCZ is there to ease traffic; London’s Ultra Low Emissons Zone is to ease pollution. The ULEZ is in effect every hour of every day, and will rain down with great vengeance and furious application of a £12.50 charge if you drive into the zone in a petrol car that doesn’t meet Euro 4 standards or a diesel car that doesn’t meet Euro 6 standards. The good news is that full EVs are exempt.

FCEV

Fuel cell electric vehicles, like the Toyota Mirai. Separating hydrogen and oxygen takes a lot of energy, but reuniting them in just the right way releases energy. You can burn hydrogen, but in a hydrogen fuel cell you generate electricity to drive an electric motor. It’s also easier to move H2 over long distances than electricity.

We have 15 years of experience in designing, building and managing large to small scales domestic projects with experienced and qualified employees. We take pride in both customer care and project management, ensuring the vision of our clients is carried out to its full potential.

When something is just a something it’s normally only just that. At West Road Customs though, we aren’t just that. We are a garage with a fierce and unforgettable style….JDM USA the UK way.

It’s a 90s explosion amongst the latest car tech. Just a garage you say? Not a chance!

When you step into West Road Customs, you and your car will have an experience that you’ll want to repeat again and again. For you, if you can somehow tear your eyes off our showroom, you’ll see there is a race café behind it. Here you and any mini versions of you can relax it out in style. For your car, we can offer it a FULL workout, from MoT’s and services to remaps and bodywork. We also offer (and this is our favourite part) a bespoke service, where we customise everything to the customers needs. So why not get in touch and let you and your car have fun at the most modern tech savvy car joint this side of Scotland! Our ramps are calling you…

WHO: OLLIE KEW & DR DON THOMAS

WHERE: CAPE CANAVERAL, USA

One is a four-time space shuttle mission specialist who has orbited the Earth 682 times; the other once came 3rd in an egg and spoon race

WH0: DARIO FRANCHITTI & OLLIE MARRIAGE

WHERE: SHALFORD, UK Jack (behind the camera) captures the exact moment when three experienced motoring professionals got a bit lost in a GMA T.50

WHO: GREG POTTS

WHERE: GONDWANA, SOUTH AFRICA

Greg’s finely tuned rhino tracking skills on full display here. Next step is to pick it up and taste it, check it’s still fresh

WHO: ELLIOTT WEBB & OLLIE KEW

WHERE: BUXTON, UK

Merc SL’s back seats are absolutely ideal if you hate your lower legs and love your face being pummelled by the wind

WHAT: PHOTOGRAPHY TEAM ASSEMBLE! WHERE: HOPE VALLEY, UK We did give it our best effort, but as it turned out this ended up being the worst rendition of the YMCA that anyone has ever seen

BEHIND THE SCENES

WHAT: TOYOTA MIRAI TAXI

WHERE: PARIS, FRANCE

Annoyingly, this Mirai taxi already had a fare. Probably the coolest taxi in the whole city. In a nerdy kind of way

MAKING IT HAPPEN

HOW TO CONTACT US

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